Prince Castiel was out of his element at The Frisky Cucumber. Many of the men were loud and drunk including Dean.

A stripper dressed as a farm boy was standing on a large table swinging his hips as he slowly peeling off his bib overalls. At the moment the only thing showing was a pink nipple. Gabriel was jiggling his coin purse at the stripper. He downed a glass of wine and yelled, "Come on hot stuff, show me your frisky cucumber!"

The obnoxious manservant winged a coin hitting the young man square in the jewels. The stripper yelped in pain then waved over a huge mountain of a man and pointed to Gabe. "Hugo, that jackass bruised my nuts!"

Hugo let out an honest to goodness growl and took off after him, once cornered; Gabe relinquished his offensive coin purse to the bouncer.

Dean took advantage of the distraction and promptly pinned Castiel against the bar. He trailed the tip of his tongue around the shell of the Prince's ear. "Mmmm, you smell like fresh fruit. Wanna show me your fuzzy little peaches?"

The Prince whispered, "Do you mean my butt?"

"Maybe."

Castiel was never allowed around men like Dean Winchester. The Queen had her son watched to prevent perverts from corrupting her little angel. Too late, the royal vegetable garden had already done that.

Dean kept at the tender skin of Cas' neck until it was slick with spit and a nice hickey was forming.

The Prince dropped his head back and let out a whimper, "Dean why do I feel all tingly in my tights?"

Dean was excited at the prospect of entering the royal love tunnel. "Don't you worry baby, I'll take care of it." He took the panting Prince by hand, flipped a coin to the tavern keeper and carried his soon to be lover upstairs for a romp in the hay.

…

Rowena walked in a circle around her captive Sampunzel. "You need some work my boy. Fergus is picky," The witch glanced at herself in the mirror as she adjusted her bosoms, "I have no idea where he gets that from."

Sam stood there with his arms folded, towering over the witch. "I think I look good just as I am. Besides, I heard Fergus is no prize."

Rowena cast her gaze to Alfie who was peeking out from behind a silk covered pillow. "Perhaps a meddling little squirrel told you that."

She shot a burst of light from her fingertips trying to hit the squirrel but Alfie was too fast for Rowena. He scampered out the window and landed in a twisted old apple tree. The squirrel shook his little fist. "I'll get help for you Sam!"

Rowena poked her head out the window and hissed at the squirrel. He beaned her with a crab apple then dashed into the woods determined to find a hero worthy of rescuing Sampunzel.

Rowena screeched, "Don't show your furry face here again!" She stormed back to the dressing table laid out with hair ribbons, body glitter and makeup. "Oh I hate squirrels!"

Now busy doing his afternoon nude yoga, Sam looked between his long legs and smirked at Rowena. "I call this the Eggs and Sausage pose."

The witch licked her ruby red lips, "Oh really, from where I'm standing perhaps you should call it the Furry Starfish pose. Honestly Sam, try to have some decorum when my son arrives."

Sam wished Alfie was around to explain what decorum meant and what a furry starfish was.

Rowena dipped a flat wooden stick inside a pot of warm wax, "Speaking of furry starfish, let's clean that crack up. My son shouldn't need to wander through a forest before claiming your virginity."

…

The Prince made Dean chase him around the dingy room. "Get away from me you green eyed pervert! I'm saving myself for Sampunzel."

Dean finally had his prey cornered, "Give it up Princess, I'm gonna prove that you were born a bottom." He lifted Cas up and dumped him unceremoniously onto the straw mattress. "Now you're in for a treat."

The Prince had a slight smile on his face. "Oh no, I'm a sweet little innocent!"

Dean let out a weird cackle as he approached the bed rubbing his hands together, "Not for long."

….

Everyone in the tavern below sat quietly staring up at the ceiling. There was an interesting commotion going on upstairs that stopped all music and conversation.

"Oh my goodness Dean, it's much too big for me!"

"Close your eyes and hang on for the ride of your life Princess, daddy is gonna tap that booty."

*giggle snort*

"AAAAHHHH…oh my…fffffuperbutton…toot toot!"

"I'm gonna blow!"

There were groans, moans and whimpers. Then they even heard the loud pillow talk.

"Dean that was wonderful."

"I know, I'm pretty great in the sack. Is your butthole sore?"

"Yeah but in a good way. What is all this sticky white stuff?"

"Baby batter."

"What?!"

The tavern keeper waved to the musicians, "Ok I think we've all heard enough." People booed him but even the Frisky Cucumber had its standards.

Gabe's hands shook as he raised the flagon of appletini to his lips. The manservant was thinking of how bad his ass was going to get kicked when the Queen found out her son lost his precious cherry.

Gabe was really bad at his job.

….

The next morning Dean woke up to find a squirrel bouncing around on his chest. "Sorry little guy, I'm not into bestiality. Even I have my limits."

Alfie waved his little paws around, "My friend is in trouble and he needs someone handsome to rescue him. Are you a hero?"

Dean looked around and didn't see the Prince anywhere. He assumed Cas was in the little boys room freshening up. "Yeah, I'm a real hero alright. So is this friend Sampunzel the girly dude stuck in the tower?"

Alfie wrapped his paws around Dean's finger and tugged, "Yes, hurry because Fergus is on his way to marry him."

"Ok, I don't know what a Fergus is but it sounds pretty gross."

Dean snuck out with the squirrel, determined to reach Sampunzel first.

…

Rowena wiggled her way over to the carriage with arms open wide ready to hug her son Fergus.

She cooed, "Oh my wee sausage, I am so glad to see you."

Crowley stepped out and walked right past her with Hades following on his heels. "Mother, this boy better be worth the trip."

She batted her lashes at her son and gave him a toothy smile, "Of course dear, has Mother ever steered you wrong?"

Crowley pulled a cup of tea from thin air and took a delicate sip. "Do you really want an honest answer?"

"No darling, that won't be necessary."

…..

Sam gripped the edge of window ledge and watched as his suitor approached the tower with the witch at his side.

""Gross, I'm not marrying him. Alfie better find me a handsome man to save me PDQ!"

Sam crouched down to at himself in the full length mirror that wasn't tall enough to reflect all six feet four inches of him. "It's a shame I'm so fragile and weak. A girly boy like me doesn't stand a chance against that brute."

…

Alfie clung to Dean's suede vest laces as Baby carried them toward the tower. "Hurry up Dean, Sampunzel might be besmirched by now."

...

Rowena tossed another layer of body glitter on Sampunzel then stood back to admire her work. "My dear, you look like a princess."

Sam scowled at his reflection, "I look like a painted whore."

"No matter, my son enjoys beauty in all its forms."

…..

Crowley straightened his ascot then checked his breath. He admired himself in the mirror, "I'm a handsome devil." He plucked a rose from a bouquet on his dressing table and headed up the winding stairs.

TBC