Part Two of
The Narnia Trilogy:
When Children Cry
My first fanfic, so be merciful, I beg of you!
SUMMARY:
Part One: Basically, Tumnus' story of his friendship with Lucy.
Part Two: Their friendship after Lucy becomes Queen Lucy the Valiant of Narnia.
Part Three: Lucy and Tumnus reunite many years later, and how their friendship progresses into love.
And then we'll have a little Epilogue.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lucy or Tumnus or Narnia. In Book Two, I do, however, own my own character (sort of) who is the Dryad Chrystmay (fashioned after a friend, IridescentEpiphany), and I'm even in control of my own plot-line!
Hold on to your hats, kids. This one's pretty long, too. And very important; pay attention. This is also, by the way, the end of Part II. I know, I know, it's short, but I'm trying to get to Part III ASAP so all of my readers can have their Tumnus romance, however fluffy it may be.
Chapter Fifteen
Another Tomorrow
Tomorrow. Tumnus had promised her that he'd visit tomorrow. Yet tomorrow was here...
And he was not.
Lucy paced about her bed-chambers, ever so often pausing to peer out the window in anxiety. It was not like Tumnus to be late, nor was he in likeliness to break any promise. It was a bothersome worry, and Lucy spent a good time wringing Tumnus's muffler until it would not have been in much of a condition to return it to him.
While she was pacing about, Susan poked her head into the room. 'Lucy –'
'Is he here?' Lucy said instantly, and stopped all her other doings to wait for an answer.
The answer did not take long at all in coming. 'No, Lucy. It's just that tea's ready.'
The youngest queen moaned and flopped into her bedspread. 'Su, he's late. Tumnus is never late.'
'I know, Lucy. I know.' Susan trotted to the bed and sat on it beside Lucy. Her sister was hugging the scarf tightly and pressing her face into the coverlet, and Susan stroked her hair in a most comforting fashion. 'Perhaps he forgot, Lucy dear.'
'He never forgets! and I have his scarf. He wouldn't forget his scarf.'
'Perhaps a more urgent matter came up that he had to attend to,' suggested Susan, although she did not believe it. In fact, she was nearly quite as ill at ease as Lucy.
'He promised! And he keeps his promises, I know!' Lucy was near hysterics by now. 'He'd come no matter what! Something must have happened.'
'I'm sure he's all right,' Susan said, but her tone was not at all consoling. 'Dry your eyes, dear.'
'But I'm not crying,' said Lucy, and lifted her head up. Indeed, she was not.
And then Peter and Edmund came bursting into the room, pulling behind them a dwarf dressed fully in the uniform of the Narnian Palace Guard.
It was what the dwarf said that made her shatter, and she buried her face into Tumnus's muffler until it was drenched of tears.
❦
Tumnus smiled as he prepared a basket to take to Cair Paravel. He'd hoped that, today, he might teach Lucy to play the flute – perhaps the pans as well. She'd just seemed so very adapted to the music of the Silver Mists, he thought that maybe she might be as skilled in playing.
He'd been searching his den high and low for his red muffler; but, he'd remembered that he'd given it to Lucy the day before. Shaking his head at his own foolishness, he stepped out to the Summer air – now not so summery, as Autumn was approaching dreadfully fast.
The air was soft, carrying a scent of wild violets and fresh, damp earth, yet had the nearly tangible brisk touch of Fall. It would totally smother the sweetness soon enough, Tumnus knew, but hid away those thoughts. Why ruin a perfectly lovely day with woeful thoughts?
Oh, how little did he know...
As he approached Cair Paravel, he noticed a rather largish dwarf standing at the gate, adorned in Narnian guard apparel, not the elephant Puklei who usually stood guard at the doors. Tumnus frowned, wondering what had happened to his friend the elephant. It was the thought that led him to trot briskly up to the dwarf. Yet before he could open his mouth to ask, the dwarf had his own inquiry:
'You there,' said the dwarf sternly. 'are you the faun Tumnus?'
'Yes, sir.' Tumnus found himself answering with his eyebrows shooting up.
'You are not to enter the gates.'
Tumnus felt as though he'd been hit hard in the stomach; he could scarcely bring himself to sputter out, 'W-w-what?'
'I've got an order here,' said the dwarf, bringing out a scroll of parchment from his pocket, 'that states it clearly: "the said person(s) are thereby banished from the Narnian castle of Cair Paravel and castle grounds." And there! look, faun, if you don't believe me: signatures of all the Kings and Queens.'
Tumnus took a grab at the paper and scanned it. Yes, it said just what the dwarf had told him. He, Tumnus, was banished from Cair Paravel and surrounding lands. There... there, to make it horrid as ever – Lucy's quirky signature.
The air had been purloined of his lungs, eyes burning, stomach frothing. What had been done? This was an official document, there was nothing to do in changing it... never see Lucy again... signed by Lucy, Lucy wanted him gone... Lucy was angry with him, Lucy hated him, Lucy never wanted to see him again. Lucy, Lucy, Lucy... his dearest, closest friend had banished him from her sight...
It seemed as though no oxygen was coming to his brain, but it certainly must have, for he was breathing in such heaving intakes it was a wonder he didn't hyperventilate. He stood, shaking head and coldly sweating body, taking backwards steps... He did not really see the scene from his eyes, he was watching it; watching the dwarf look piteously onward, watching himself turn and run into the forest, watched himself rub his horns feverishly in confusion and sadness and anger... himself race into his den and throw himself on the bed... packing up his things into a case... racing outside the den again... hands blocking the whipping twigs and branches snapping out at him... running miles and miles, never stopping... into his old home on the other side of the Western Wood... throwing things off the floor and into the air... upturning wrecked tables... staring at all the destruction the wolves had left... throwing himself on the scratched bed, spilling out cotton... crying.
Crying.
Weeping.
Just as he had in front of Lucy.
Just as Lucy had for him.
Too many memories... had to get away, get away... not back to the new den, not here in the old one... too much remembering... she didn't want to be there, so he would throw her out of his mind.
He ran out of the den again, chest heaving, though he paid no notice. There was too much anger in him, too much angst. Running the flat earth twice over would still leave yet a multitude of feelings, he had to get rid of it all.
So he ran madly throughout the wood, screaming and crying out and spilling tears on the forest floor.
Lucy had forgotten him; now it was his duty to forget her in return. He didn't think it, but it pounded in the deepest pocket of his soul again and again, and he was helpless to it. His friend, come to help him live to the fullest as he once did. Now she'd thrown him away. Did friendship mean nothing to her?
They'd all gone from him, all left: Mother, Father, Lucy. Lucy. Not friend, not enemy, just not there. Mother, Father, Lucy, Chrystmay. No, there was Chrystmay, emerging from a clearing in the trees, a look of pity etched into her face. Not a dream, not a hallucination, but flesh and blood wrapping long arms around his shaking shoulders. Comforting him, giving him warm tea, asking what was wrong, listening avidly to his sobbing explanation, asking what it was in his pocket...
His pocket. Tumnus felt a hand into his pocket, bringing out
the handkerchief.
Tumnus wept only more, clutched in his sweating hand, tracing out the monogram LP. The monogram that was still filled with memories; he had to get rid of it somehow, destroy it.
'Tumnus!' Chrystmay shrieked. 'What are you doing?' She pulled his hand away, bringing the handkerchief out of danger from dangling over the all-consuming fireplace.
'Destroying her from my mind,' said Tumnus absently, blankly, as he held it over the licking flames once more.
Chrystmay whipped it out of his hand and held it tightly in hers. 'This is the only piece of her you'll ever have left!' she cried out, holding it out for him to see. 'Do you really want to erase her entirely?' she yelled, nearly in hysterics herself.
Tumnus was about to answer, then let out a mammoth sob and took the handkerchief from her. Not to place over the fire, but to dry his eyes.
Of course I don't.
He was so absolutely drowning in everything around him that he did not stop to question Why. Why had she signed it? What had he done that would make her banish him? And what was he not understanding?
❦
'But why?' Lucy screamed into the red muffler. 'What did I do! He was my friend!'
The rest of the Pevensie royals were in too much shock to answer or comfort her.
'And you're sure that's what he said?' Peter demanded to the dwarf who'd been guarding the gates.
'Yes, Your Majesty. Meaning no offence, but fauns are very likely to be taken in to sudden total shifts of mind. Their best friends become worst enemies, their homes become torture chambers. He won't be likely to be found in his same home, he'll have moved somewhere else. I'm sure it's nothing to you, Queen Lucy, but it's just in their nature.'
This made her weep even more loudly. Lucy – not Queen Lucy, not the Narnian ruler, just little English Lucy – had found a pocket in her mind that was not screaming and weeping loudly enough for the whole castle to hear. A part of her wanted to believe that the dwarf was lying, it was all a lie... but he was a Narnian dwarf, sworn to the ways of the Lion Aslan. What reason could he have to lie to her? There was no reason.
The smallest bit of doubt in Tumnus crept softly to her mind. No... the dwarf was right. Why else would Tumnus serve the White Witch? That was it, the dwarf wasn't lying. Tumnus had been on the side of the White Witch, loyal to her – for a while. It must have been sometime while he was playing her to sleep, all those months ago, when he experience one of the faun's 'sudden total shifts of mind'. He must have turned against the Witch in that moment, truly befriended her – for a while. And now... now he'd changed again, turning against Narnia. Who knows where he'd gone now, if he'd left his den. And who knows who his new allies were, for the time being. Yes, the dwarf was right. Tumnus was a betrayer.
Totally unawares, Lucy wept more loudly than she ever had before. 'Sir,' said Kind Edmund quietly to the dwarf-guard, 'I think it's best if you leave.'
The dwarf bowed. 'I am sorry, Your Highness, that you've had to suffer the consequences of fraternising with fauns.'
A thought flickered across Edmund's mind, and he turned menacingly to the dwarf. 'If I find you're lying, dwarf...'
'Meaning no offence, Your Highness,' the dwarf murmured hurriedly with a bow. 'but would I lie to a King of Narnia?'
Edmund nodded, and the dwarf closed the door behind him. He smiled to himself as he answered his own question:
'Yes.'
And he hurried away to the servant's chambers, to shed his disguise as a Narnian guard. Hurried back to the Witch's not-so-abandoned palace of ice, thinking to himself the words of a champion.
I was successful, Majesty. Ready the armies.