Daisy's P.O.V

I felt so enraged and pissed at everything in the world. After the scene at the funeral, I raced out of there. I couldn't look at Mark for one more minute. I went to the Life café and ordered some beer and fries slowly nourishing them. I looked at my wrists and so badly wanted to end it. Everything right then and there. I could sneak into the kitchen find a knife. One swipe and it will all be done with. No more worries, no more sadness, no more anger. Yet I couldn't do it. Angel wouldn't me to do this. She would be disappointed in me.

I worked up all my courage and walked back to Mark's apartment pack up my stuff and get the hell out of there. I would start over. Look for a job and a decent place to live. Don't know were but I would figure it out along the way. As I walked up to his apartment I spotted Mimi standing outside their door.

"Mimi." I whispered.

"Sshh" she said. She pointed at the door where I heard shouts from Mark and Roger. They were fighting. Mark and Roger NEVER fight.

"They say Mark has his work. They say Mark lives for his work and Mark is in love with his work. Mark hides in his work."

"From what?"

"From facing you failure. Facing your loneliness facing the fact you live a lie. Yes you live a lie. Tell you why. You're always preaching not to be numb when that's how you thrive. You pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive."

"PERHAPS IT'S BECAUSE I'M THE ONE OF US TO SURVIE."

"Poor baby." It was quite for a moment and then I heard Mark's voice speak kindly to Roger.

"Mimi still loves Roger. Is Roger really jealous or afraid that Mimi's weak?"

"Mimi did look pale." I held onto Mimi's hand and it was freezing.

"Mimi are you…" She hushed me again and continued to listen to Mark's words.

"Mimi's gotten thin. Mimi's running out of time. Roger's running out the door."

"NO MORE!" Roger's voice softened. "Oh no…I have to go."

"HEY! For someone who's always been let down whose heading out of town."

"For someone who longs for a community of their own who's with their camera…alone." It was silent for a moment until Roger spoke again. "I'll call…I hate the fall." He then opened the door and stared in shock at Mimi standing right there. "You heard?"

"Every word." Mimi said. I found myself looking back at Mark. His baby blue eyes about to cry. He saw me and looked down at the floor. I wasn't listening to Mimi and Roger's conversation. I just stared at Mark. I wonder if what I said to him earlier today hurt him. He needed to hear them though. It was all true. I had bottled those feeling for long that they just exploded in a fiery rage. I couldn't help it. Yet part of me wished we could fix this yet the other part of me knew with everything I said to him it couldn't be fixed.

As Roger left Benny came upstairs and tried to put an arm around Mimi. "Please don't touch me. I'm scared I need to go away." She said.

"I know a place, a clinic." Mark said.

"A Rehab." Benny suggested.

"Maybe could you?"

"I'll pay." Mimi rushed out of there Benny close behind. It was just Mark and I now. I walked into the apartment past Mark and started to gather all my stuff together.

"Daisy please…"

"You know he was right?"

"What?"

"Roger was right. Everything he said was true. You can't even say I love you because you hide in your work. You're so detached from feeling alive from feeling true love."

I was staring at him in the eyes now. I had to rip off the Band-Aid clean off. "Not even once did you say it to me. Did you have any idea how much I loved you? Of course you didn't." I began to pace around the apartment agitated. "You were too much into your film. To see my love. I tried to help you open up to me but you gave me a shove to the side!"

I gave him a push and was about to storm out of the apartment when Mark grabbed my wrist. "You have no idea. Why I hide. It's because I'm afraid."

"From what?" I said jerking my wrist away from him.

"From losing my family, losing my friends, losing the ones that matter most. Don't you see? In the end all that will be left is my films and me. I film so I can capture minute of everyone I love. I film so I can hide the pain I feel every day of my life. I film so I can hide from getting close to anyone. Because if I get close to someone I know in the end all that will be left is hurt and pain. So yes I'm detached from feeling alive because in the end I will be the only one to survive!" His hands were trembling and I could see the small tears escaping from his eyes.

"You still don't understand do you? I may survive with you but you have to take that chance. And risk getting hurt. Feeling hurt and pain is a part of feeling alive but so is love and joy and compassion. Can you risk the chance you might feel pain for a chance at love?"

Mark took a step back from me and whispered "No I can't I'm sorry Daisy." I looked at him in shock. I had to get away now. Anywhere but here. I took off the coat Mark gave me so long ago. I gave it a squeeze and then walked up to Mark.

"Well I guess this goodbye."

"I guess it is."

I handed him back his coat and then placed forehead onto his. I softly whispered. "I just wanted to say, Goodbye love, goodbye love, Goodbye love. Goodbye. Just came to say Goodbye love. Goodbye love. Goodbye love." I slipped away from him not even daring to look back. I grabbed my bag slipping on a hoodie and walked out of the apartment onto the street.

I didn't know where I would sleep that night, or how I would live but I'd find a way. I would find a way. I then found myself on a park bench that night wrapped up in the clothes I could find to keep myself warm. I laid there and found myself in tears. I couldn't believe after all this time it was over. It was done. I would no longer be able to stare into Mark's baby blue eyes. I would no longer see him every time I wake up in the morning. I would no longer hear his voice. I curled into a fetal position on the bench and let the tears roll off. I pulled out my small pocket knife that I grabbed on my way out and rolled up sleeve. I took a deep breath and cut myself. I watched the blood roll off my arm into the dirt. I did it again and again and again until I could longer feel the pain. As I laid there watching the blood flow I whispered "Hello disease."