A/N: So, here comes the darker shit I guess. I know Spinelli have been very different and quiet in this story, so here comes the story on that. Not to bad though, but yeah, a little darker than the others. I have a little story with mental illnesses, but I've tried not to drag my personal experiences to much in to this fic, but I will use some of the things I know kind of. Idk, this got long and messy, I'll just get to it. Here we go.
Chapter 4, Spinelli
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Her eyes softly focuses on the ceiling. The white painted wood is slowly becoming more in focus as the seconds pass. She sits up and shakes her hair out of her eyes. Shit, her head hurts. As she looks straight ahead, into the big mirror on her wall, she feels exactly how she looks. Messy. Her eye makeup is smothered around her eyes, her hair is messy from the activities last night and her normally tanned skin looks pale and grey.
She only smiles as she sees the figure to her left in the mirror, right in the bed. He's still sleeping, peacefully, with a smile on is face. He doesn't know, he has no idea. Not because he doesn't care, because he does, really. But he's just so happy and busy, he doesn't really have any reason to think anything is wrong. She pushes his sandy brown hair out of his face, kisses his freckled cheek, and get's out of bed.
She walks into the big kitchen, puts some pop-tarts in the toaster and sits at her normal spot at the counter. As she stares into space she starts to wonder, why is she like this? She doesn't know why she doesn't speak much anymore, but in the end, it's just so much she wants to say she's scared that if she starts, she won't stop. It's not a problem with TJ though. There is nothing unspoken between them. When she's alone with him she feels alive again. Like when they're at the raves only they goes to, like last night. She can laugh, and talk, and she feels okay. And then she wakes up, and remember the real world. It's like going to sleep in a colorful world and wake up in black and white. And she doesn't even know why it is like that. The pop-tarts shoots up from the toaster and she gets of the counter to get her breakfast. She gets them out of the toaster and puts them on a plate.
«Oh, for me, you shouldn't have!» TJ's voice sounds groggy, but happy in her ear, as he wraps his arms around her waist and hugs her. She smiles and leans into him. «Good,» she says, «because I didn't.»
TJ looks shocked. «What, but, I'm hungry!» Spin can't help but laugh, and gives him one. «Fine, then. We can share?» TJ grins, takes one of the pop-tarts and kisses her softly on the cheek.
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It's 3 pm, and Spin is walking around town aimlessly. TJ is at home with his family, having some celebration for Becky, but God knows why. She doesn't even know why she went out in the first place, but now that she is here walking around, she actually likes it. It gives her some peace.
Suddenly, she sees someone she knows. Chipy is sitting in a simple white dress, reading on a bench. Spin just walks over to her and sits down. She doesn't even know why. They won't talk. But she likes Chipy. She's real, and honest, and actually quite funny.
As Spin sits down, Chipy looks up from her book. Spin smiles smiles as she sees that it's the original Bram Stoker's Dracula. Full of surprises that one.
«Yeah, I am spending my Saturday reading in a park. Cliche, I know» Chipy says without looking up. Spin smiles, but stay quiet. «So, I heard your patrons are back in Italy. Family business Gus said. Must be nice to stay alone for a while.» Chipy says, looking up from her book. Spin just shrugs.
«Well, I know it would be heaven for me. My parents are like taken straight out from an angsty teenage drama. They would die if they found out half of the things I do, and if I don't get my A's they'll flip. Like, lock me up in my room every second I'm not at school flip. It sucks.» Chipy looks more angry than sad. Spin looks at her, and shakes her head. Sounds crazy. Sounds like a black and white world.
Chipy looks at her for a moment. Spin is only wearing one of TJ's t-shirts and an old pair of tights, that's kind of ripped. But she knows no one cares. Her image as the badass,and strange girl is basically untouchable anyway. She doesn't even know why, but people seem to like her like that.
«Why do you never speak anymore Spinelli?» The sudden voice startles her, both because she's not used to hearing her full name, and because the question is so up front.
She looks straight back at Chipy, and for the first time since school starts she says something to a part of the gang that is not TJ.
«I simply don't know how anymore. I just can't see the point.»
The answer surprisingly enough seems to strangely satisfy Chipy. «You know, I get that. And don't worry, nobody's really talking about it. But I must say, I do worry. You seem off. But you just take your time. It's going to come back to you. I has to hans't it?»
Spin simply nods. She is, again, at a loss of words.
—
A couple hours later Spin locks herself back into her house. She barley holds back a small scram as she sees that someone is sitting in the living room couch. At first she thinks her parents are home early, and feels sick. But then she realizes it's just TJ.
«TJ, what the hell are you doing here?» She half yells.
TJ looks up with a confused look on his face. «The glass door was open, I was just waiting for you. Then I found these.» He holds up some papers and Spin almost throws up when she realizes what it is. Her drawings. Her only escape. Dark, strange drawings, personal. Now he knows, and he is going to leave.
He has to, right? Nobody wants to be with a black and white girl. People wants colors. It's just the way of the world. Now, TJ is full of that, colors. He's happy and yellow, he's jealous and green, he's sad and blue and he's angry and red. She, she's just black and white. Dark, black and moping. Careless, free and white. And on top of all that she's silent. And alone. Not even her parents could stay with her anymore. Not that she blames them. They probably figured it out and left, before she turned them black and white too. And now, TJ would do the same. She couldn't food him anymore.
«Hey, did you hear a word of what I just said? Hello, Spin? You alright?» TJ is now standing in front of her, waving his hand in front of her face. She just raises her eyebrows and shakes her head apologizeing. Tj sighs and smiles.
«I was just saying that you are insanely talented. Why didn't you show me this before?» He smiles. Spin just looks at him, surprised. He liked it? Really?
«They're so fucking dark, I didn't think anyone would like them. They're like me, and I don't get why you even like me.» She says straight forward. TJ looks at her, calmly.
«You're not dark, not really. Neither are these. They're different. And deep. And shit, that's okay. Not everyone is easy to understand. You're not, but you never were. Your just growing up, a bit differently than others. But you're not dark. Never say that. You're awesome, funny, smart, smarter than you give yourself credit for, brave and kind. And I love you, Just like that, Don't ever change, not for anyone. Please. I love you.»
Just as TJ finishes his little speech, Spin kisses him. She can't help it. He is just everything she wants, and needs. And with him, there will maybe be some color in her world too.
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A/N: Wow guys, it's so deep I can't even see it anymore. No, okay, jk. But I'm not sure how this turned out, so please review? Thanks for reading!