The Wind Waker: Captain Crawfishes Adventures
A Bad Way To Start The Morning
On an island called Outset, a little girl is looking for her big brother. The girl's name is Aryll.
Aryll: BIG BROTHER!
Aryll climbs up the watch tower on the island and finds her brother sleeping. Her brother's name is Link.
Aryll: Big brother! Wake up! *kicks him*
He is still sleeping.
Aryll: BIG BROTHER!
Still sleeping.
Aryll: *suddenly angry* WAKE UP, YOU LAZY BUM!
Aryll kicked him really hard in the crotch, so hard he falls off the tower and lands in the water. But Link is still sleeping . . .
Aryll: BIG BROTH —
Link wakes up.
Link: WHAT, WHAT?!
Aryll: Finally! You –
Link: GO AWAAYYY!
Aryll: But big brother, gramma -
Link: SHUT UP, MARMY!
Aryll: *starts crying* I'm telling gramma!
Aryll climbs off the tower and runs across a bridge to the house closest to the edge of Outset.
Link swims to the shore and follows Aryll across the bridge into their grandmother's house.
In their grandma's house . . .
Aryll: - and I went to wake him up and he called me a Marmyyyyyyyyyyyy! WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!
Link's Grandma: Now, now, Aryll. Everything will - oh, it's you, Link. Now why the heck did you call Aryll a "Marmy"?
Link: I ALWAYS HAVE NICKNAMES FOR EVERYONE!
Link's Grandma: Well why did you give Aryll "Marmy"?
Link: IT'S SHORT FOR MARMALADE!
Link's Grandma: Well how does that have anything to do with Aryll?!
Link: IT DOESN'T! NOW LET ME GO SLEEP AND HEAL MYSELF!
Link's Grandma: STOP YELLING, DAGNABBIT!
Aryll cries harder and runs out of the room.
Link's Grandma: NOW LET ME SHOW YOU THE REASON I CALLED YOU HEAR, YOU DARN KID!
Link: FINE!
Link's Grandma: Good boy!
She pulls some smelly, moldy, somehow wet, dark green cloths out of nowhere.
Link's Grandma: Now anyways, try these on, Link. I can't believe you're old enough to wear these clothes . . .
You got the . . . used hero's clothes. They are really . . . smelly. And wet. And a little . . . sticky?
Link: What the diggity dog is this junk?
Link's Grandma: Just put the darn clothes on, stupid.
Link: I don't like wearing dresses! Those are girly!
Link's Grandma: *suddenly in a deep scary voice* PUT THEM ON.
Link whimpers and puts them on.
Link's Grandma: Don't be so sad about it, you only have to wear them for a day!
Link: Why are they wet? The lower area of this stupid costume is more wet!
Link's Grandma: Don't care. Now go get Aryll and apologize or something . . . I have to get ready for your birthday party. The whole town is coming.
Link: I don't want that snot-nosed retard at my party!
Link's Grandma: GET ARYLL! NOWWW!
LInk: OK, OK!
Link runs out of his grandma's house in his sweaty (peed-in) costume.