The Wind Waker: Captain Crawfishes Adventures

Crawfishing Up

Note: I'll type slower this time to get less mistakes . . . sorry about last time.

Link goes across the bridge back to the watchtower. At the top, Aryll is "playing" with the seagulls. (Yeah, I went there. I said playing in quotes)

Aryll: *annoyed* Oh, it's you . . . *sniff*

Link: Sorry, blah blah blah, all that other stupid stuff, so anyways, do you have a birthday present?!

Aryll: *ignores that* Wow . . . did grandma *sniff* make that suit for you?

Link: I got it from her house. Duh.

Aryll: Why are you being so mean, big brother? *Aryll starts crying loudly*

Link: Sorry, really! It's just that you started my day with a KICK IN THE CROTCH AND A DIVE IN THE SEA! YOU WOULD BE CRANKY AFTER THAT!

Aryll: WAAAAHHHHHH!

Link: OK! Sorry! Sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry SORRY! Please don't tell grandma again! You can - can - have my Rupees!

Aryll: *stops crying, grins, and says in a deep smooth voice* So how much we talkin' here?

Link: Ermm . . . 45 Rupees?

Aryll: *coughs* Come again?

Link: WHAT THE *censored*! SHEESH! 70 RUPEES! IS THAT ENOUGH?!

Aryll: Now we're talkin'!

Aryll: *in normal voice* so, big bro, I have a present for you!

Link: It better be worth a lot a money, Marmy . . . I was saving up for something!

Aryll: What?

Link: A sword specialized for Captain Crawfish! My childhood superhero!

Aryll: Umm . . . OK. So here's my present! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You got the Telescope! It's Aryll's most treasured belonging, so make sure to rub it in the wet parts of your slimy costume.

Aryll: So? So? Do - do you like it? Do ya? Huh? Huh? Do you? Do -

Link: I KNOW, STOP!

Aryll: But you can only use it for - P.U.! That stinks! And why is that

costume so . . . wet?

Link: I don't know how that happened. Maybe that gross snot-nosed retard boogered in it or something worse . . .

Aryll: So Link, use my telescope to look at the post man! Link! Link, can you -

Link: I KNOW!

Link looks through the telescope at the mailbox and some weird eagle guy is making a sad attempt at flight.

Aryll: The post man looks pretty dumb, doesn't he, big brother?

Link: Yeah, I -

Aryll:*screams* OMG OMG OMG OMG! LOOK IN THE SKY, LINK! LOOK! LOOK! LO -

Link: I KNOW! NOW PLEASE SHUT UP!

Link looks into the sky and pees his pants. A huge bird is carrying a kid or something in it's claws. Suddenly, a rock flies by. A pirate ship is chasing after the bird and shooting rocks at it. The bird is stupid enough to look behind it, with it's mouth wide open, and it gets slammed in the face by a rock. It drops the girl in the Fairy Forest on top of the island.

Aryll: *shrieks* Big brother! You have to save that girl! Please, big bro!

Link: Maybe . . . but can I have a please?

Aryll: I just said please!

Link: Well another one.

Aryll: PLEAAAASSSSEEE! *whimper*

Link: Well if I save her, promise to give me 500 Rupees.

Aryll: OK, I'll bring the Rupees up soon! Just please, get a weapon or -

Link: *gasps* A weapon? I get to use a weapon!?

Aryll: Yes! Now please find one! *sobs*

Link: Stop being a crybaby!

Aryll: *starts crying*

Link: OK, fine!

Link climbs down the tower and goes to Orca's house. Someone yells something, but Link ignores and goes into the house. Orca is being a loser and trying to roll into the wall.

Link: OLD MAN!

Orca: Wha, wha?

Link: OLD - MAAAAANNNNNN!

Orca: Oh, hey - Uhhh, what's that smell?

Link: My stupid costume.

Orca: Why is it so wet?

Link: JUST GIMME THE DARN SWORD!

Orca: But why?

Link: I NEED IT!

Orca: But -

Link: A GIRL FELL INTO THE WOODS AND I WAS PAYED TO SAVE HER!

Orca: Hmm . . .

Link punchs Orca in the eye, runs to the back of the room, and finds his special sword (even though he didn't pay Orca).

You got Captain Crawfish's Sword! This is the sword of your dreams that you created when you were five! Now you can defend the innocent, like Captain Crawfish!

Link: Now where's my *beep* costume?!

Link somehow finds his orange and blue Captain Crawfish costume.

You got Captain Crawfish's Clothes! Sewn by your grandma at the age of eight, these clothes are perfect for acrobatics, water, and more! And they aren't sweaty and gross . . .

Link changes and runs out of the room. Then he goes up to the path that leads to the fairy forest on top of the island. He goes across the bridge, but throws up over the edge, because he's afraid of heights.

Link: BLEAAUUUUURRGGHGHHHHH! Hey, I hit that snot-nosed retard! Yay!

Link starts running again, but this time, he trips over his orange cape.

Link: DARN IT! STUPID CAPE!

Link: Gets up and runs to the entrance of the forest.

Link: Random girl . . . here I come!

Link runs in.

Inside is . . .well, a forest.

Link runs over the obstacles and through the forest. Soon enough, a weird pig thing is in front of him. Link runs to it and slices it into bacon. Then he runs to the tree near the girl. Suddenly, he hears some birds. He looks up and sees birds flying around. The birds are holding those pig things.

Bird: Ueeghghh? *translation* where's that kid?

Other Bird: UEeeerrgh. *translation* Dunno. Let's look for him.

The birds fly away.

Link:*snickers* Suckers!

Link walks over to a tree and looks around.

Link: Now where is that -
Suddenly, the tree above Link moves. Someone squeals and there is a thump. Link turns around and finds the girl.

Link: Hey, how'd you get there?

The girl gets up.
Girl: What's up with that getup, fool?

Link: You're a fool!

Girl: Why are you even here anyways, Frogspawn?

Link: To rescue you, because you seem incapable of saving yourself! You would think a pirate could protect herself . . . or the author's being sexist.

Author: It's not me! It's the game!

Link: Oh, right. And what's this game you speak of?

Author: Ummm . . . suddenly Link and Tetra forget that there is an author!

Link: So what were we talking about again? Oh yeah. You're stupid. You have a friggin' knife! Use it, woman!

Tetra: I'm really gonna -

Suddenly, some weird pirate looking loser dances into the forest.

Pirate: *sings* Miss Tetra!

He dances to Stayin' Alive over to Tetra(search up stayin' alive dance and see the first option).

Tetra: Stop dancing to retarded songs, stupid! Get a life and listen to the Beatles!

The guy stops dancing and is sad.

Pirate: So um, Miss Tetra, we were, like, looking for you and stuff, but, like, this bird, like, dropped off on top of, like the mountain, and like, I thought you were, like -

Tetra: Wait. I'm, on a mountain?

Link: Duh, stupid!

Tetra: *ignores Link* Well let's go repay our debt back in full!

Pirate: But, like, what about this, like, boy?

Tetra: What about him? He's stupid!

Pirate: Never mind.

The pirates leave, and Link follows them. Outside of the forest, Link sees someone across the bridge.

Aryll: Hoy, big brother! I have your money!

Aryll walks across the bridge. Suddenly, the huge bird flies over the bridge and grabs Aryll's money! . . . and Aryll, I guess.

Link: NOOO! MY MONEY!

Aryll: BIG BROOOTHEEEERRRRRR!

Link runs off the cliff stupidly and splashes into the water. Tetra doesn't grab him cause she doesn't feel like it.

Tetra: Stupid kid. I never liked him anyways . . .

Link:*whine* WHYYYYY! WHYYYY, CRUEL WORLD! I WANT MY MONEY! AND MY SKIN IS BURNING OFF! WHYYYYYYY! THAT HUUUUUURRRTTTT!