Part 3 – Come Into The (Red) Light

When the two of them arrived at the hidden estate, the others were waiting for them, pink-cheeked and healthy looking from the hunt.

"I've had the staff prepare rooms for everyone," said Aido as soon as everyone had settled down. "I wasn't sure about the arrangements for the two of you," he smirked, watching Kaname and Yuki carefully for some kind of reaction.

When he didn't get it, a shadow of disappointment spread over his face. "So, I arranged for you to have the second-floor suite."

"Yes," said Kaname sedately, "that will be fine. We've got a long journey ahead of us, so you should all get a good day's rest." He paused, stared at Yuki for a moment, then started toward the staircase. "Yuki?" he said, beckoning for her to come with him.

Yuki followed him blankly up the stairs and into the mouth of the dark hallway beyond. In silence, they walked past what seemed to Yuki an eternity of identical closed doors.

"Yours is right here," he said, stopping before one of the many indistinguishable doorways. "I'll be right next door if you need anything, Yuki," he continued. "Sleep well."

He turned without another word and walked further down the hallway to the next door. Yuki put her hand on the door and looked after him. "Goodnight, Kaname," she said, and went inside.

The room she found herself in was windowless, as she had learned to expect from vampire dwellings. As advertised, the room was part of a suite, as there was a second door on one side of the room, leading to what she assumed must be Kaname's room. The part of the room that interested her the most, though, was the large, well-appointed, comfortable looking bed on the opposite wall. She dropped her bag by the door and flopped into the bed without even bothering to remove her coat.

Three hours later, despite her utter exhaustion, Yuki still couldn't sleep. There were so many new things she still needed to sort out, and her mind refused to stop racing around in circles, like a rat in a too-small cage. She fully expected that at some point, there would be a knock on the door between the suites, and that Kaname would appear to provide a distraction, welcome or unwelcome, from her present worries.

"Why am I thinking about that?" she whispered to herself in the darkness. Kaname was the cause of all of these worries. Why would she want to face him for a moment longer than she had to right now?

The room next door was silent and still, even to her newly acquired vampire senses. She couldn't even hear Kaname breathing in his sleep. Yuki rubbed her eyes and rolled over in the bed for what seemed like the thousandth time. All she wanted to do was drift off to sleep, but she simply couldn't manage to do it.

"That's it," she whispered to herself. "Who cares why I need to see him? I'm not going to sleep until I he tells me more. I…"

She swung her legs around and slid off of the tall bed. She walked toward the door that led between the suites, reached out and tried the handle. The door was locked. With a resolute sigh, Yuki lifted her hand and knocked.

There was no response at all, as if the room next door really was empty. Where had Kaname gone?

"Kaname?" she said, hoping that she was mistaken. "Kaname?! Where are you?!"

Still, there was no answer from the adjoining room. Yuki felt her heart skip a beat in her chest again, as she realized that Kaname might have never gone into his room at all. She didn't actually see him go in, she remembered. She had gone into her own room first, and left him standing in the hallway.

Cautiously, Yuki went to the door leading out into to the hallway. Slowly, she pulled it open. Light spilled from her room into the hallway, illuminating its length for a several yards in either direction. Beyond this, the hallway was hidden in unfathomable shadow. All the dim little lights the two of them had passed on their way to the suite had been turned off, and Yuki had no idea where she could even begin look for a light switch.

"Kaname?" she breathed into the shadows that seemed to suddenly press close around her, squeezing the air out of her lungs. "Kaname? Kaname?! You said you'd be right next door. Where are you? Kaname?!"

She took a single, tentative step into the hallway, expecting at every heartbeat to be attacked or…

She wasn't sure what she really expected. She had spent a lifetime amongst vampires, though, and she knew it wasn't beyond them to do any number of terrifying, unexpected things.

She took another step into the absolute pitch blackness of the hallway, then another. Nothing. Absolutely nothing happened to her. Slowly, she forced her feet to take her past the border of light created by her room's open door, into the darkness of the hallway.

As her eyes adjusted, she found that her night vision had improved since she had become a vampire. She hadn't really had a chance to test out her enhanced vampire senses, so she hadn't realized that, as a vampire, she had little to fear, even in absolute darkness. She could see everything.

As she continued to walk down the seemingly never-ending hallway, she even started to enjoy herself a little. Finally, though, she came to a place where the hallway took a turn, and stopped. Maybe here was the place where something terrifying was about to happen to her? She didn't know, and even if she had these enhanced vampire senses, she still couldn't see through walls and around corners.

Heavy footsteps approached. Then, there was a brief flash of light. A gentle voice from around the bend said, "I sensed you coming. You don't need to worry, Yuki. It's only me," said Lord Kaname, as he stepped around the corner. "You couldn't sleep either?" he questioned, holding a welcoming hand out to her. "Join me. I was enjoying some fresh air, and thinking. I could use your company."

"Kaname!" said Yuki, her emotions broiling between surprise, relief and confusion.

He stepped back out of sight, and there was another brief flicker of light, followed by receding footsteps.

"Are you coming?" he said from somewhere beyond.

Yuki stepped around the corner, and was surprised to find herself facing a thick, black curtain. When she parted it, she could see a narrow staircase, a bright light streaming down from above. Daylight.

She mounted the stairs, climbing quickly to meet him. When she reached the top, her dark-adjusted eyes were nearly blinded by the sight of the early afternoon sky.

"Whoa!" she said. She had forgotten the way her vampire senses would make her over-sensitive to direct sunlight.

"I'll wait until your eyes adjust," he said, and leaned on the railing lining the edge of the balcony.

"I thought this mansion was underground…" she said, still trying to get her bearings.

"Parts of it are," he said, looking out over the treetops. "That hallway is built inside a tunnel that eventually leads up to this opening, an old escape route that, at some point in the building's history, was remodeled to be a little tower with a balcony that overlooks the forest."

"It's… um… very nice."

"Well," he smiled, "I really didn't ask you up to discuss vampire architectural follies."

"Kaname!" Yuki exclaimed suddenly, "You frightened me! You said you would be right next door, but when I knocked, you were gone!"

"I could hear you all the way down inside the ground, tossing and turning in your bed, then coming out to search for me in the dark. You were never in any danger. But I do wonder what were you doing, knocking on my door while everyone was supposed to be sleeping?" Kaname said, smiling at Yuki playfully. "It seems…"

"It wasn't like that! Kaname, you know that isn't fair!"

"I'm sorry, Yuki," he said, still smiling. "I just… It's just now that we're not running for our lives, or fighting terrifying monsters, I thought for this moment… I was hoping we could really enjoy spending time together," he said, offering her an inviting hand. "I'm sorry. I really was only trying to make a joke, again. As I said, I've never been any good at that sort of thing. Will you join me?"

Yuki allowed him to take her hand. She offered no resistance to him when he pulled her toward the place where he stood against the railing. His arms wrapped around her, holding her tightly.

"I wish we could just enjoy each other's company right now. You know, the life of a vampire can sometimes be dangerous, painful, violent, terrifying. No matter what the legends say, it is not a life that any sane person could honestly desire. Rarely do we have a chance to just relax, to sit and look at the scenery with the person we love most. Always, there is some lethal plot afoot, some deadly foe who stalks us. If you intend to survive, you better learn to cherish these rare moments of bliss, no matter in what form they come."

"Is that supposed to be my first vampire lesson?" Yuki said, pulling away from him slightly so that he could see her skewed smile.

"Yes," he said, his own smile falling away as he gazed into her eyes.

"Yuki," he said, and then he kissed her again. This time, she was ready. This time, she kissed Kaname back.

It seemed like this kiss lasted forever, like Yuki could feel herself spinning, circling, round and round for an eternity as she kissed him, this man Kaname Kuran. Finally, her consciousness spiraled down and settled inside herself once more, just as Kaname pulled away from her.

"What…" she gasped, astonished, "…was that?"

"Like it?" said Kaname, smiling down at her. "It's a little trick I picked up over the years."

"How did you do it?"

"Pressure points, mostly."

"It felt like an out-of-body experience!"

"And a judicious application of some of the more subtle vampiric powers."

"Mind control?"

"No. More like suggestion. But it only works if you accept my suggestions, if you trust me enough to allow it. Without your trust, it wouldn't work."

"Well… I…" Yuki stuttered, flabbergasted. "It was… nice."

"I used to use it to hunt, to draw in humans when I wanted to make them my servants. I wondered if I could still do it. Obviously, I can."

"Oh. So… Does that mean that I am your servant? I mean, does that mean you have become my master and I your vampire servant, since it was you who returned me to my true form?"

"It's hard to say. Nothing quite like this has ever happened to my knowledge. I don't think of you as a servant, though, if that's what you're asking. I don't intend to treat you like my servant. If anything, I want a companion. I want you to be my equal, even if I have to create an equal in you. If anything, I am your servant until then."

"I don't really want that, Kaname. Why would I want that? You've done so much. To me. For me. I wish I was strong enough to be your equal, though."

"You will be."

"And I'm still not certain that I like the idea of you sacrificing yourself. It seems like overkill to me. Can't we come up with another way to…"

"No," he said, cutting her short. "You have to let me make my own choices, Yuki, and this choice was made long ago."

"You can't blame me for trying, though."

"I'm just glad that you can trust me. This means that, at least for now, you have made your choice."

"Kaname," said Yuki, a hard edge to her voice. "Why didn't you just… ?"

"Why didn't I just ask you? Because, I'm just as flawed as anyone else. I am still learning to trust you, too, Yuki. I hope…" he paused, looking into her eyes, "I hope you will be willing to forgive me for that. I know that the only way two of our kind can build a connection is if we are honest with one another about what we want. If we aren't able to do that, well, then we will eventually become enemies."

"I don't want to be your enemy, Kaname. You shouldn't worry. I could never do that."

"Yes, but this is another thing I have learned through the long years of my life. When you have almost infinite amount of time to spend with someone, they will eventually have the chance to become your everything, from friend to enemy, from family to lover, from slave to master, and back again."

"You talk about us being honest with one another about what we really want. What you really mean is that you want me to tell you that I want to be with you, don't you? What you really want is…" she looked down at the place where their bodies touched, and pushed away from him.

Kaname pulled her tight against him despite her attempts to resist him. Yuki gasped, the air crushed out of her by his suddenly tightening arms, and looked back up at him. His eyes glowed red, though she couldn't read his expression. Was he angry? Hungry?

"That's right," he continued, once he had her attention, "I wanted you to be the first to say it. Not because I am weak willed or frightened of the feelings I have for you, but because you are the one who seems to have reservations about how you might feel about me. You've already said you would do anything for me, Yuki, and obviously, you are still willing to go to extraordinary lengths for me, despite the change in our circumstances. I don't want you to make such a decision, though, based only on this habitual sense of devotion you have developed for me. If you want me in the same way I desire you, then you will do so without a sense of obligation to do anything I ask you to. You can do what you want. I refuse to force your hand. You are in no danger if you deny me what I desire…"

"Desire," she interrupted him, repeating the word with a touch of anguish in her voice. "Kaname?"

"Yuki?"

The reddish glow grew stronger as he looked down into her eyes.

"You never really tell me what you mean, Kaname, even when you seem to try. You need to tell me now, though. What do you desire?" she said.

"I… want…" he breathed, his hands clasping and unclasping involuntarily against her backbone.

For your inconvenience, this section has been removed due to explicit content.

Please message me if you want this part of the original file. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

"I… how did you do that?" Kaname said, amazement in his voice.

He sat up, and began to lick what was left of Yuki's rapidly drying blood from his fingertips.

"What? No, I…" Yuki stuttered in confusion. She'd never heard Kaname talk like that before, as if he didn't know what to do next. "I didn't…"

She didn't even know what she was denying.

"I didn't intend to…" he muttered. "What I mean is, I don't think it makes much sense at this point to deny my feelings for you. I'm so sorry, Yuki. I just…"

"You imagined that if this happened at all, it would happen differently?"

"Many, many times I thought about you, and me, and…"

Yuki smiled sleepily, too exhausted to even attempt to be coy with him.

"I never thought…"

"You never thought we would finally give in, finally do what we both have wanted all along, in the bright of day, on a balcony perched on the side of a building you just recently described as an 'architectural folly', with birds singing all around us? You never thought I could forgive you for being what you are?"

"Yes. Exactly. I had always imagined that if we ever made love, it would be in darkness and despair. It would be only because circumstances required, or because we were about to die, because it couldn't matter what we did anymore. I my mind's eye, I saw death, fire and blood. I never expected bird-song and sunlight to accompany us. And if it ever happened, I never wanted to…"

"Kaname," said Yuki as she sat up, her voice taking on a serious-sounding edge to it. "You know that was my first time, right? I mean, not with blood, but my first time…"

"I know, Yuki. And I hurt you. I lost control of myself. I…"

"I love you, Kaname. I want you to know that love is the reason that this happened the way it did, right here in the light of day, with no despair, no nightmares, no mind tricks or lethal conspiracies. I wanted you because I love you. I always have loved you, and I always will, even if you are supposed to be some kind of 'monster of ancient nightmare'. It's too late. I loved you before I knew the full extent of you, even though I always knew you were a vampire. I can't just stop loving you now because I know more. That's not how love works. Anyways, you can't hurt me the same way you could have before. I heal just as fast as you do, now."

She pointed to the spot on her neck where he had bitten her, now decorated with a smear of bright red blood, and stained with grey dust from the stone floor. Despite the layer of grit and gore, the underlying skin was perfect, intact and glisteningly healthy.

"Yuki, why don't you run away from me? You must realize that you could be right about what you said last night. I may someday be the one who kills you, perhaps even without meaning to."

Yuki sat up, a shadow growing within her eyes.

"Why would you say something like that?" she frowned.

"I am a monster, Yuki," he sighed. "Monsters like me always eventually hurt the ones we love the most. If you love me, I will hurt you. I may even kill you."

"Are… Are you planning on hurting me?"

"Never…"

"But…?"

"…but nonetheless, I very likely will. It is part of our nature, Yuki."

Yuki frowned and turned away from him.

"Do you understand?"

"I… I'm a vampire now, too, Kaname," she said, her voice trembling with suppressed emotion. "You must know you aren't going to change my mind as easily as you could before. You don't frighten me anymore."

"I thought not," he sighed again, "but I hope it doesn't bother you if I still try to protect you, even if it is from myself."

"And, if you wanted to kill me, you could have just now. I saw how upset you were. You didn't want to hurt me. You saved me instead."

"I saved you from myself," he said, hanging his head.

"It doesn't matter. I forgive you because I love you. And, I forgive you because you weren't trying to hurt me."

"You don't have to forgive me, Yuki. That was unforgivable. I almost killed you. I ruined what could have been a perfect moment."

"How long did you wait?"

"What?"

"How long did you wait for me, though?"

"Decades. A long time. Too long."

"Exactly. I don't even know how you managed to hold yourself back that long. So far, I've struggled just to keep from hurting someone I care about for just a few hours. It was torture. I wanted to tear these people apart, people I had known and loved all my life. And I knew, even as I consumed them, I would still love them. I would spend every day after that regretting my inability to protect them from myself! Even as their blood coursed through my veins, I would hate what I had done, and I would hate myself for living at their expense!

Why do you think I decided to come along with you in the first place? I was going to hurt my family. I was going to hurt my friends. To protect them, I had to leave them. How can I be angry at you for losing control with me after more than ten years of waiting? I know exactly the way you felt!"

Kaname looked at her, his eyes wide.

"I may be new at this vampire thing, but I'm not going to do anything I don't want to do, even if it is supposed to be part of my nature. Forget nature. Nature is for beasts and mindless monsters like Rido, and I refuse to be a beast.

Now that I know the truth, I can be whatever I choose. Once, I was a little girl, cloistered in exile. Then I became a human. Neither of these two things were my choice. I chose to be a protector, though. Now, I find out there is this monster inside me as well. So be it. I'm not going to let that stop me from taking my own path and making my own choices. I have that right."

"You sound more and more like the pureblood princess you always were," he said. "You remind me of your mother. You remind me of Juri when you say things like that."

He held out his hand, now licked clean of Yuki's blood.

"I'm glad you're turning out to be such a quick learner," he added, and then helped her to stand. "It's the only way you're going to survive as a vampire."

Before she could try to respond, Kaname was gone, passed into the dark staircase leading back to their adjoining rooms. "Sleep well, Yuki," she heard him whisper with her heightened senses from somewhere deep inside the underground mansion. "I'm sorry, and I love you."