The Wind Waker: Captain Crawfishes Adventures
A Huge Plot Twist
?: . . . Link . . . Link . . . pull yourself together, Link!
Link: Wah wah . . . ? Pull your face together, fool! and who's talking anyways?
Link is under kind some rock formation. There is a little curve of sand leading to a beach. And he's in a boat. The boat looks pretty retarded to Link.
?: Shut up and look around, !
The head of the boat, which looks like a dragon, turns it's head around.
Link: AAHH! IT'S SO HIDEOUS!
Boat: HA HA HA! The look on your face . . . priceless! You're so dull-witted . . . I thought the legendary hero would be smarter!
Link: That doesn't mean much, coming from some retarded red boat. What are you supposed to be anyways? A bearded dragon boat?
King Of Red Lions: I am the King Of Red Lions! I speak the words of men! How cool is that?
Link: Yeah . . . so what's next? Will you learn to use a toilet? *snicker* *snicker*
King Of Red Lions: *ignores Link* I have been watching you ever since your ultimate failure at Forsaken Fortress . . . and maybe before.
Link: Wait, what!? Are you stalking me?!
King Of Red Lions: Ummmmm . . . noooooo. So anyways, I understand how -
Link: Whaddaya want, boat boy?
King Of Red Lions: *sigh* Short or long version?
Link: Uhduh.
King Of Red Lions: A guy named Ganon is trying to make everyone like some old band I don't know or care about. Oh, do you still wanna save your sister?
Link: I wanna save my sister's money! . . . and her, I guess.
King Of Red Lions: Ummmm . . . .Ok. Then in that case, I shall -
Link: Guess what! I have a nickname for you! Cause your normal name is stupid. You're a dragon, not a lion.
King Of Red Lions: So what is it?
Link: RED SIMBA(Yes, I just made that reference)!
King Of Red Lions: Say what now?
Link: Has a nice ring to it, ya know? I'll call you Simba for short (yeah I did).
Red Simba: Yeah . . . are you a hero?
Link: You dragged me into this. Don't ask me.
Red Simba: *long sigh* So I need a sail. Can you find one on this island?
Link: Maybe.
Red Simba: What more do you want, boy?
Link: Money! Duh!
Red Simba: I'm a friggin' boat! Boats don't carry money around!
Link: Well get a job, home boy. Or should I say . . . home boat? Hehehehehehe . . .
Red Simba: Just go get a sail!
Link: No!
Red SImba: *in a growl* Wanna know why they call me King Of Red Lions?
Link: OK, OK! I'll go! Sheesh, Author . . . you're not making sense! How the *beep* did this retarded boat get me to this island if he doesn't have a sail!? HOW!?
Author: Ummm . . . AUTHOR USES RANDOM PLOT TWIST!
Link and Red Simba lose their memories once more, Link gets his gross costume back, and something happens in the sky. There is a pop and a girl falls out of the sky. Link gets out of Red Simba (that sounds weird) to see what happened. For some reason, this mysterious girl has a Bowser Medallion(Yeah . . . that's the plot twist! hehehehehe . . .).
Link: NOOOOOO! NOT THIS COSTUME!
?: What happened? Where is Romani?
Link: *purrs* Why, hello there.
Romani: What?
Link: Umm, nothin'. Who are you?
Romani:*ignores* Grasshopper? You look . . . different. Why does everything look so weird? It isn't blocky and ugly! And Romani thinks you're cuter than ever!
Link: What the *censored* are you talking about, woman?
Romani: Romani likes this place! Even Romani looks different!
Link: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!?
Romani: *ignores Link once more* And where are we anyways?
Link: WHAT - ARE - YOU - TALKING -
Romani: Oh, sorry, Grasshopper . . . I'm just looking around, I'm a little confused!
Link: So am I! That's why I'm asking what the diggity dog you're talking about!
Romani: Romani used to live at Romani Ranch, the ranch she was named after . . . until now. Romani doesn't know where she is now.
Link: Hey, Simba, where are we?
Red Simba: Windfail Island or something.
Link: It's Windfall Island, stupid!
Red Simba: And how would you know that?
Link: How would you?
Red Simba: Cause I was the one who brought you to this flippin' island!
Link: Well still. Up there, the sign says "Windfall Island." Hey, that's it, Simba! Can you read?
Red Simba: Shut up and find a sail!
Link: YOU find a sail!
Red Simba: THAT'S IT!
Link: OK, OK, OK! FINE!
Romani: Where are you going, Grasshopper? Romani wants to come too!
Link: Yeah, I guess . . .
They go up the beach to "Windfail" Island.
Link: Wait here . . . I need to find a sail. Stupid sail . . .
Romani: *whine* But there's nothing to dooooo!
Link: Fine . . . go explore or something . . . but meet me back here when you're done. *long nasal sigh*
Romani: *happy again* Bye Grasshopper! Romani will see you soon!
Romani skips off somewhere or other. Link doesn't know or care where she went. Link sighs again and goes up to the hill.
Then he sees a door below a red brick building. He goes in. Inside is Romani outside a prison cell and some weird green loser in the cell.
Romani: What do you want from me, crazio!?
Green Guy: I WANT YOU TO *beep* GET ME OUTTA THIS *beep* PLACE,*censored* *beep*!
Romani: *crying* WAAAAHH!
Link: SHUT UP, LOSER!
Green Guy:*ignores that* Mr. Fairy! I've been longing for you to rescue me, sir!
Link: Oh, shut it, you!
TIngle:*ignores that also* My name is Tingle! I was put in this jail for no apparent reasons! Please free me!
Link notices that the cell is ruined and destroyed.
Link: I, uhh . . I don't think that's a good idea.
Romani:*sniff* Don't free this *sniff* bad man, Grasshopper!
Tingle: FREE MEEEE, MR. FAIRY! NOWWWWW!
Tingle pulls out a bottle of some dusty stuff.
Tingle: Let me out or I'm blowin' the life outta this town.
Link: You don't have a match, stupid.
Tingle: I'LL FIND A WAY!
Link: Yeah . . . let's go Romani.
Tingle: Come back, Mr. Fairy! Free meeee!
Link ignores Tingle and leaves the prison. Romani skips off somewhere again and Link sits down to finishing writing his "magnet", because he's too lazy to find a sail.
Link: *muttering about song* I'll always . . . memeshemenee . . . almost done . . . forever . . .
Romani: Hi Grasshopper!
Link: WAAGHHH! What the - don't do that!
Romani: Romani found your sail!
You got a boat's sail! Who knows why you need it . . . maybe Red Simba is evil or something . . .
Link: How'd you find this!?
Romani: Romani has her ways!
Link: . . .
Romani: Let's go Grasshopper! What are you waiting for?
Link: One second . . . just need to finish my song . . .
Romani: You write songs, Grasshopper?
Link: Just this one time . . .
Some time later . . .
Romani: GRASSHOPPER! Hurry up!
Link: OK, done!
They go back down to the little cove thingie where the retard Red Simba is waiting and get into the retarded boat.
Link: *whine* Uuuuughh . . . there's hardly any space for both of us to sit in here!
Red Simba: Well then make Romani stay!
Romani:*whine* Romani doesn't wanna stay heeeerrreee!
Link: You can stay, Romani . . . I don't wanna stuck at sea with this retard.
Red Simba: No, really . . . I think I was stalking the wrong person . . .
Romani: Yayyy! I can stay!
Red Simba: Now . . . to the Tape Sea we go!
Link: Stop pronouncing everything wrong, retard!
Red Simba: STOP CALLING ME A RETARD, RETARD!
Romani: No one is a retard! We are all friends!
Link and Red Simba: NO WE'RE NOT!
Romani:*ignores that* So anyways, to the Great Sea we go! Let's follow the westerly wind!
Red Simba: HEY! That's my line, kid!
Link: Oh, shut up, you.