The Wind Waker: Captain Crawfishes Adventures
Dagnabit Roofs Island
Romani: Uuugh! What's that disgusting smell!? Cow manure smells way better!
Romani, Link and . . . Red Simba (ugh) are at sea, heading toward a big island that looks like a volcano with a storm around it.
Link: It's my stupid costume, and now I'm stuck with it.
Romani: Why is it wet?
Link: Don't ask. I don't even know.
Romani: Romani should call you Stink or Stinkbug or something, Grasshopper. Or should I say Stinkbug?
Link:*whine* Stoooop!
Red Simba: That's actually a good nickname, Romani! Thanks!
Romani: My pleasure! But Romani's getting hungry . . . what is there to eat?
Link: I don't know . . . try holding it in or something.
Moment of silence . . .
Link: *thinking* Hey, maybe I can show Romani my chick magnet song and see if it works! *aloud* Hey Romani! Wanna hear my song?
Romani: Definitely . . . it's getting boring out here.
Link: OK . . . *starts singing*
Always and foreverrr (yeah I just did that)
Each moment with youu
Is just like a dream to meee
That somehow came truuuee
And I know tommorrow
Will still be the saaamee
Cause we got a life of loovee
That won't ever change and . . .
Some time later . . .
EEEEEEEVVEEEEEERRRR
Link: That's the end. So, so?!
Romani: Cool song, Grasshopper! But Romani is still hungry . . .
Link: *thinking* WHAT THE *BEEP*! WHY DIDN'T IT WORK!?
Link sulks.
Romani: Hey, Grasshopper . . . now that I think of it, you created a new music style! Romani likes it! It's cool!
Link: What do you mean?
Romani: It's smooth and rhythmic! Has a nice beat, ya know? Oh, I have an idea! Call it Romani and Beat! Has a nice ring to it, ya know? Ya know? Right? Right?
Link: Yeah, I guess . . .
Romani:R&B! Sounds awesome, in fact! (yes, Romani and Link did create R&B: how would you not know that? lol)
Red Simba: Heheheheh . . . looks like ol' Link's got a girlfriend! Heheheh . . .
Link: SHUT UP, RETARDED BOAT!
Red Simba: Heheheheheheh . . . *thinking* when Zelda sees this . . .
Link:*thinking* Well that sucks! Now there's nothing to do . . .
Romani: Are we there yet?
Red Simba: No.
Romani: Are we there yet now?
Red Simba: No.
A moment of silence.
Romani: How about now?
Red Simba: No!
Romani: How about -
Red Simba: NO! NOW SHUT UP, PLEASE!
Romani: *whine* You're meeeaaan!
Red Simba: *sigh* this is going to be a long day.
Romani: *yawn* this is getting boring . . . good night Grasshopper.
Romani goes to sleep.
Link: Ugh. There is, like, nothing to do. I'm bor -
Suddenly there is a thud and Link and Romani fly out of the front of the boat.
Red Simba: Wah-wah . . . ? Oh. We're here. We're at Dagnabit Roofs Island.
Link: Don't you mean Dragon Roost Island?
Red Simba: I MEAN WHAT I MEAN, AND WHAT I MEAN I SAID!
Link: Do you know how to read? Really, Red Simba.
Romani: Romani likes the music for this place . . . it's catchy!
Link sees a guy playing a guitar by himself on the small beach.
Link: So why are we on this stupid little island?
?: HEY! DON'T YOU DARE CALL MY ISLAND STUPID, MORON!
Link: Who is it?
?: It's me, *beep*!
Link turns around. It is a girl with reddish hair and no pants. Oh, and a BEAK. A big, whoopin' BEAK. Yeah, you read that right. A BEAK.
Link: *in a deep voice Heeey, bebe.
?: Say what?
Link: Ummm . . . nothin'. Who are you supposed to be? You're like that dumb postman, but you're a redhead, your skin is lighter, you don't have any pants, and you're cuter.
?: What was the last part?
Link: Ummm . . . nothin'. So who are you?
Medli: I'm Medli, and I don't like you calling my island "stupid."
Link: Well it's true, so THERE! And P.S.: put some pants on, woman!
Medli: Oh, shut your trap!
Romani: The other Grasshopper never had pants on, Grasshopper, so I wouldn't talk.
Link: And you stay out of this, Romani!
Medli: Why are you with this chump, Romani?
Romani: Grasshopper's not a chump! Things just got personal, bub . . .
Red Simba: Oh, Link! Umm . . . I have something to give to you! It's the Wind Waker!
Link: Is it a gun? Is it a gun? Is it? Is it? Is -
Red Simba: NO! Why would I have a gun!?
Link: 'Cause you're useless and retarded?
Red Simba:*ignores* This is it!
Red Simba tosses it to Link. It's a stupid baton.
Link: *whines* I don't want a stupid batooooonnn!
Red SImba: It can do magic stuff that I don't care about. I kept it from my trip to The Hylian Souvenir Shop.
Link: What . . . ? You're an incapable boat! How would you get to a souvenir shop?
Red Simba: Never mind . . . just go find an orb thingie. It's orange and big. It's Don's Pearl.
Romani: Romani doesn't mean to interrupt, but Romani thinks you mean Din's Pearl.
Red SImba: I MEAN WHAT I MEAN, AND WHAT I MEAN I SAID!
Romani: Umm . . . Ok? Let's go Grasshopper.
Link: Yeah . . . let's go. Oh, Medil -
Medli: It's MEDLI!
Link: So can you take Romani up to wherever your lair is?
Medli: Mmmm . . . yeah, NO.
Romani: Oh, you've got it in for yourself, bub!
Romani tackles Medli and they start fighting.
Link: I'm just gonna . . .
Link goes up to a cliff side and climbs up it. Then he walks through a little passage that leads to a wooden walkway going up the cliff. The Dumb Postman is standing outside, peeing over the fence blocking off the cliff.
Luckily, no one is under him. Link tries to sneak past him, but sadly, The Dumb Postman notices him and turns around with a stupid grin on his face. You wouldn't really be able to tell he was grinning because of the beak anyways, so that didn't matter.
Dumb Postman: Link! Whaddup, m' boy? You've travelled far for a wingless loser . . .
Link: Your mom goes to college!
Dumb Postman: Huh?
Link: Never mind . . .
Dumb Postman: I'll tell the ol' chieftain that you're here for our homemade hot cocoa!
Link: I don't want your stupid hot cocoa!
Dumb Postman:*frowns* Aw, shucks . . . then why are you here?
Link: I want your ball!
Dumb Postman: Umm . . . that sounds weird. Ball as in . . . ?
Link: Ya know! The only *beep* ball you have: Din's Pearl!
Dumb Postman: Oh, that ol' thing . . . OK, lemme talk with the chieftain. Here, have some cocoa!
Link: No way, fool.
Dumb Postman: *hearty laugh* No, I insist!
Link: I said no!
Dumb Postman: *In a dark tone* No, I INSIST.
Link: OK, OK! I'll have your stupid cocoa! Sheesh . . .
Link sips the cocoa.
Link: OK, it's good . . . but do you have anything cold?
Dumb Postman: Have a popsicle!
Link takes and licks the popsicle.
Link: OK, that's good.
Dumb Postman: Now wait here, man.