The Wind Waker: Captain Crawfishes Adventures
The Not-So Forbidden Forest
Note; sorry I made stupid mistakes last time: those will be fixed. In the meantime, I'll be more careful this time. Stupid autocorrect . . . Doh! And this first part won't be that funny, but I'll try . . . it's probably going to be the most serious part of the whole story, because Romani helps Link - well, you'll see. Hee hee hee!
Link: So who is going off first? And wait, we have to jump, right?
Link and Romani are standing at the edge of the cliff.
Korok: you have to use the Deku Leaf to glide across to the other island. On that island, your magic power will be refilled. But watch out, because magic power keeps your leaf going! P.S., a Korok will be waiting for you on the island. He will help you refill your magic powers. Then you will use the small cyclone to be blown towards the Forbidden Forest. From there, we can no longer help you. Now away with you, Mr. Naked Child!
Link: Stupid Woodbaby . . . OK, Romani. I'll go first. Just to be safe.
Romani: OK, Grasshopper . . .
Link: Hey Romani, you have a crush on me right?
Romani: Say what now?
Link: Ummm. . . nothin'. So I'll just go off on three: one, two . . . two and a quarter . . . umm, two and a half, two and a . . . a half and a quarter -
Korok: Just jump off the *beep* thing already!
The Korok shoves Link off the cliff.
Link: CURSE YOU WOOODBABYYYYY!
Link was expecting to fall and die, thanks to that stupid Woodbaby (or Korok, I guess)but instead, he glides across the ocean. It is really high up though . . . hopefully, Romani isn't afraid of heights.
Link: hold on hold on hold on hold on -
And Link tumbles on to the island just as the leaf runs out of float energy.
Link: Fsheww! That was scary.
Link turns around and waves at Romani. She jumps and glides over also.
Then she lands a little farther than Link in the snow.
The Korok waiting for them there goes over.
Link: What do you want, woodbaby?
Korok: Cut this grass! Now! Do it to regain your magic power!
Link: Regain your face!
Korok: What the *beep* are you talking about?
Link:*whines* Stoooop!
Romani: Link, I'm goin'! Bye!
Romani jumps into the cyclone and gets blasted to the Forbidden Woods.
Link: NNOO! REALLY?!
Link runs and jump into the cyclone and is blasted over to the Forbidden Woods too. But sadly for him, the cyclone blew away his clothes and now he's naked. Again. In the cold winter. Poor Link.
Link: DAGNAGGITY! IT'S SO *BEEP* COLD OUT HERE!
Link is trying to keep hold of the Leaf, but it is so cold, it is slipping out of his
grip . . . oh well. I wonder who the next hero is gonna be . . . Maybe he will not be so rude and annoying. But what is this? Our hero's grip is growing stronger . . . aw man. Sorry, but you know it's true. Link has never been more mean.
Link holds on just long enough to make it to the Forbidden Woods entrance.
He stops holding on and crashes on to the ground.
Link: So cold . . .
Link faints.
When he wakes up, he is in a depressing-looking place. It looks like the inside of an old tree. Romani is in a corner again, but is looking quite sad this time. Very depressing. Even for Link. So he decides to lighten the mood, and not in a good way . . .
Link: *thinking* I wonder how Romani dragged me here . . . oh well. Heheheheheheh. . . this'll be easy! This is my chance to do this! *aloud* Good morning!
Romani jumps and looks around and sees that Link is awake.
Romani: G-grasshopper! What are - YIIIIIIIII!
Romani turns around again.
Link: Oh no . . . I forgot my clothes are gone! Now what'll I do!?
Romani: Maybe we can use some grass or something again . . .
Link: Maybe . . .
Silence.
Link:*to avoid an awkward moment* Well, let's get going! Off to find a Woodbaby!
Suddenly ChuChus start popping up. And they start making that annoying chattering sound. (It sounds like Alvin and The Chipmunks had way too much coffee) But a ChuChu starts crying. Then they all look at Link and start crying.
Romani: What is wrong, little ChuChus?
ChuChu: *crying* That kid - isn't- wearing - anything - so it's- really - funny - Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhh!
Link:*whines*STOOOOOP!
Link kicks the ChuChu, but it is still laughing/crying.
Romani: Link! Let's go!
She grabs Link's hand (just his hand) and walks him to a door up ahead. Link is cursing the ChuChus and whimpering and muttering about stuff (Again, it's Link, so we probably wouldn't like to hear what he is saying) Romani lets go of Link.
Link: *when he has calmed down a tiny bit* Do you wanna talk as we go through the dungeon?
Romani: I guess so . . . so about you and your sister . . . (P.S. I am ditching the dungeon for now: all the people who played the Wind Waker, you KNOW you hated that dungeon and it's hard to write about anyways)
Link: What about her? She's whiny and annoying! And she never stops crying and tries to kill me dead with her *censored* seagulls! Oh, and did I mention the time she blackmailed me for 70 Rupees?
Romani: Yes, but have you not done worse, Link? (P.S. I thought you should know that Romani doesn't call Link Grasshopper because he's naked if you are wondering why she doesn't call him Grasshopper as much. She only calls him Grasshopper when she is cheerful. And for the third person speaking, she just talks like that. There is no stopping that)
Link: Hey! You didn't call me Grasshopper! For you, Romani, I only respond to Grasshopper.
Romani: But you just did respond!
Link: *whines* STOOOOOOPP!
Romani: Fine . . . Grasshopper.
Link: And, well, I was just making sure my place is fixed in the family! I am the family meister! Nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!
Romani:*sighs* Umm, it doesn't work like that, Grasshopper.
Link: Well still! I had to make sure that little *beep* wouldn't be a bigger *beep*!
Romani: Wait, what word was that?
Link: Umm . . . nothin'.
Romani: But, umm, oh yeah! Give me some example of a time where your sister did something nice for you.
Link: well, hmm, there was this one time on my birthday last year and she gave me a new bow . . .
Romani: Umm, that's good! I guess . . .
Link: . . . and she used it to blackmail me, so I broke it.
Romani: oh. Um, any others?
Link: That one was the nicest. Trust me, you do not wanna hear the other ones.
Romani: It's that bad?
Link: Yeah.
Romani: OK, this'll be hard . . . so why are you rescuing her?
Link: To get the money she owes me!
Romani: That's all?
Link: And for her, I guess, but mainly the money!
Romani: Well think of some reasons you should get her.
Link thinks about it.
Link: Well you don't have a super annoying little sister! But . . . I guess she still tries to be nice and stuff . . .
Romani: Go on! Go on!
Link: *whines* STOOOOOOP!
Romani: What, what?!
Link: look what you did!
Romani:*confused* But Romani didn't do anything!
Link: Yes you did! Now I'm guilty about letting her get kidnapped in the first place! Guilt is for losers! Pride is for men!
Romani:*disgustedly* Do you even hear yourself, Grasshopper? Either you are sick, or you had way too much ChuChu jelly this morning. Maybe this'll get the truth into your head. Sorry Grasshopper, but do you mind?
Link: Mind what?
Romani randomly smacks Link in the face.
Link: OOOWWIIEE! What was that for?! You can't do this to your lover!
Romani: What?
Link: Ummm . . . Nothin'. *gasps* Oh no! I got a guilty epiphany!
Link lets the epiphany of guilt sink in, then he realizes that deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep deep DEEP down, he might possibly (1 out of 100) actually . . . love his sister? No!
Link starts showing proof of MPD through the following conversation with himself (aloud).
Link's Dark Conscience: No! There is literally no way you like that *censored* *censored*!
Link's Light Conscience: No, Link . . . everyone feels guilty -
Link's Dark Conscience: And remember the Great Pig Incident? Man, that was bad. And it was all her fault.
Link's Light Conscience: Shut the *beep* *censored* up!
Link: Woah! I thought you were the good side of me!
Link's Light Conscience: Well I got it from the source, home boy! You! So anyways, Linky, old boy, save your sister! After all the good things she's done for you, like give you Rupees and stuff . . . and you got slapped in the face by Romani! Now that's special!
Link:*exited* Yeah . . . maybe if I get my sister and stuff, then Romani will love me back and I will get hugs and more!
(Remember Romani is watching all of this in confusion)
Link's Light Conscience: Not another creepy fantasy, Link . . . but thanks for the talk!
Link's Dark Conscience: Oh, fine. You'll regret this when you're in your 20s . . .
Link goes back to normal. Romani doesn't seem to have noticed that Link said a lot of creepy things(Romani's brain just doesn't want to accept the fact that he has a crush on her, so she doesn't even consider that idea)
Romani: Errr, Grasshopper?
Link: Yeah?
Romani: So do you, um, wanna, you know, rescue your, err, um, sister?
Link: Definitely! I've realized what I did wrong . . . I guess I do need a little sister to be annoying. *deep smooth voice*Thanks Bebe!
Romani: Whaaat?
Link: Ummm, nothin'. Now let's get on with this stupid place! We have the boss key (wait, we got the boss key?)and the Boomerang (huh?), so now it is time to fight the boss and save the stupid Woodbaby Makar!