Chapter 7

Hurt: Lies and Deceit

It was a bright Monday morning and Ai and Akemi were walking together towards Seigaku. Ai was still thinking about Fuji and the fact that she had been avoiding him lately. The brunette also didn't seem to care because he hasn't talked to her or approached her the past few days. This made her audibly sigh, which didn't escape Akemi's sensitive hearing.

"Ai, how are you and Fuji-kun lately?" Akemi asked.

"We're... We're okay," she said. She hasn't told Akemi about the kiss yet, or about the fact that she's avoiding him because she might just suddenly get teleported back to her world the minute she confesses her feelings for him. What she hasn't realized was that Akemi knew that she has been avoiding Fuji, they were twins after all. Not really blood related twins, but still they had the same face, and Akemi could easily read Ai. Plus, Fuji has been bugging her about Ai lately, so she figured out that they weren't talking. Their lunches together stopped too.

"Are you sure?" Akemi pressed on. "Because I noticed that Fuji-kun is not in his usual mood lately, and he's asking about you an awful lot," she said.

"He's been asking about me?" Ai suddenly perked up. So even if he's not talking to me, he is still asking about me? That thought made her sigh in relief for some reason.

Pft... too easy to read, Akemi thought.

"Yes, he is and I'm so tired of telling him that you're okay, and that you're eating properly and that you arrived home safe," she enumerated the things that Fuji would talk to her about Ai. "Why doesn't he just come up to you and talk to you? Or you to him?"

"Well," Ai said. And she proceeded on telling Akemi what happened during the interview, and what she read in her grandfather's diary, what why she's been avoiding him.

"But Ai, aren't you just exaggerating a bit? I mean, you're not really sure that you'll be teleported back to Orion right? If it were me, I'd choose to spend time with the person I love now over anything else," Akemi said, "I'd choose to be happy."

Akemi said that in a sad tone because she hasn't even solved her problem with Tezuka yet. She loves him, but he's going to Germany. She just learned that a few days ago.

"I'm sorry Akemi," Ai said, knowing that everything has been hard on her. "I know Tezuka-kun will be better, and once he recovers, he'll come back. We'll just have to look forward to that," she tried her best to comfort Akemi.

Being in Gaia for quite some time now made her realized the complexities of human emotions. It does not only involve happiness, kindness, or love or forgiveness. There are different reasons that even reasons cannot understand when it comes to dealing with human emotions. Sometimes it makes you happy, sometimes sad, sometimes special. Ai has been able to feel things she hasn't felt in Orion when she came to Gaia. She was able to blush, to feel her heart race, to feel hurt, or even to lie about her feelings.

"Ai..." Akemi said, "there's nothing we can do about it. I guess, I'll just have to accept the fact that this isn't my time yet," she explained. "Still, I know it will come, I'll just be patient. But Ai, I want you to be happy too. I can see you smiling, doing your best in your clubs, your classes and with us, but you haven't been really truthfully happy. I guess that's because you're hiding what you truly feel," she said.

"What can I do Akemi? I'm not sure... I'm not sure if I can stay here or go away any time. I don't want to hurt him, he's too special and I don't want to be the cause of his pain," she said.

"Then let him feel that he is specil Ai. You'll regret not trying," Akemi told her.

She thought about it for a while. "I will... Someday... One day," she said as they were nearing the school.

"Your someday is now Ai," Akemi said as she pointed at the school gates where Fuji was waiting for her.

Akemi patted her shoulders as she walked towards the building. "Good luck Fuji-kun," she whispered to Fuji and Fuji smiled at her.

"Ai," Fuji said turning to her. She stopped in front of him, facing the ground.

"I won't say sorry for what I did," Fuji said, "but I apologized if I frightened you," he said. He was thinking of the right things to say to her, which is why he let her avoid him, but now he was going to make things right for him and tell her what he thinks.

"It's okay," she said, as she played with her fingers. Please not now, she thought. I'm not ready yet. There are students looking at them, and it made her feel really uncomfortable.

Fuji noticed this so he grabbed her hands and led her to the sakura trees lined up beside their school building. "Ai, please look at me," he said as he held her chin gently with his fingers and lifted her face up.

"I'm sorry Fuji-kun," she said. "It's just that..."

"Just what Ai?" Fuji said. "I want to know why you've been avoiding me. Wasn't it clear to you, my feelings for you? Weren't they not conveyed properly? If so, I'll tell you now. I love you Ai," he fervently declared.

When she heard that, Ai can't help but cry. There were tears in her eyes and she just wanted to tell him that she loves him too but she's scared. She's too scared of the fact that she might lose him. She might go away and leave him hurt.

"Please don't cry," Fuji said as he cupped her face and wiped her tears away. She held on his hands and kissed them. She kissed them as if trying to tell him that what she's going to tell him is all but a lie to protect him.

What she was about to say is already breaking her heart, and she can't stop crying. "I'm sorry Fuji-kun," she sobbed. "I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way," she told him with an aching heart and looked at his pained expression before she let go of his hand and left. She didn't go to class that morning. She just stayed in the rooftop of the school and gazed at the sky.

Lunch time came and she felt her phone vibrated. She ignored it. Then it vibrated again. She finally took it out, and read a few messages from Akemi, Oishi, and Fuji. Seeing Fuji's name made her heart constrict in pain again. She would lie for the one she loves because she wouldn't want him to get hurt. She'd choose to hurt herself instead. She read the messages and all three of them were worried about her because they couldn't find her anywhere. Oishi was worried too because she didn't attend morning classes.

Fuji-kun is still worried about me even though I hurt him, she thought. She took out her bento and ate lunch all by herself. She was in the middle of finishing her lunch when she heard the door opened. She froze, too scared to turn around and see who it was. She could feel someone walking towards her.

"Ai! You're here!" Akemi exclaimed, hugging her from behind. "I was so worried Ai! Why didn't you attend class?"

"Akemi! Akemi!" she said before she broke down and cried again. "Akemi, you should have seen his face! Fuji-kun, I think Fuji-kun hates me now! I lied. I told him I don't love him," she cried while grabbing Akemi's hand and holding it tight. It was good that she was hugging her from behind or else she would have ruined her sister's uniform.

"Shhh.. It's okay Ai... I'm sure Fuji-kun would understand if he knew you had a reason to lie," Akemi comforted her. "If he knew that you were just protecting him, then he'd be able to understand." she gently repeated.

"I just don't want to hurt him. What if I'll get teleported back? What if... What if I won't be able to see him anymore? What if Akemi?" she said, letting her tears fall. "I don't want to hurt him."

"But Ai, you're already hurting him," Akemi said still hugging her.

They were quiet for a few minutes before Akemi let her go. "Do you wanna go home?" she asked, and Ai shook her head.

"I just wanna stay here for a bit. I'll wait for you and let's go home together," she said.

"Okay," Akemi agreed. "Won't you attend class?"

Ai shook her head. She's not really in the mood to meet other people now. She was still on the verge of crying, and she doesn't want to embarrass herself by suddenly sobbing inside their classroom.

"Alright, I'll come get you after class," she said. "But at least reply to Fuji-kun's email. He's worried sick. And trust me Ai, that is not the reaction of someone who hates you," Akemi said before leaving.

Alone in the rooftop, she was able to think about a lot of things. She typed in a simple message for Fuji and Oishi saying that she was okay, and thank you for the concern, then dumped her phone back inside her bag.

She thought about the decisions that she made and the things that Akemi told her. Of course! She was hurting Fuji already, even when she doesn't want to.

She wanted to take it back and to apologized but it was all too late now. She already caused him pain, right after he told her that he loves her. What can she do to make up for it?