Guess who's updating?

Well, if you guessed something other than 'IceDynamiteDragonflyStars', please return to preschool/kindergarten. Anyway, thanks to everybody who reviewed, followed or favourited, it is all much appreciated.

I do not own Marvel, and any resemblance to any persons, alive or dead, is purely coincidental. Unless, of course, those people happen to be Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, Chris Hemsworth, Scarlett Johansson, Jeremy Renner, Don Cheadle, Elizabeth Olsen, Paul Bettany or Anthony McKee, in which case the resemblance should be striking, because if it isn't, I'm writing my descriptions wrong.

11: Do not tell Thor it is 'National Randomly Hug People Day'.

Tony rushed up to Thor and wrapped his arms around him. Thor gave him a very confused look. "Man of Iron, what is the meaning of this?" Tony stepped back, looking up at the god in (fake) bewilderment.

"Haven't you heard?"

"Have I not heard what?" Tony gave him a look of even deeper (and faker) bewilderment.

"Excuse me, I was under the impression that everyone had heard."

Thor stared at him. "Tell me!"

"It's National Randomly Hug People Day! You go around and hug everyone you can find and raise money."

"I was not aware of this. However, I shall proceed to randomly hug people from now on!"

And that is how, twelve hours later, Clint, Wanda and Sam were admitted to hospital with broken ribs after being hug-tackled by Thor, along with Vision losing a finger after it was bent awkwardly (he reattached it, it was fine), and Natasha had second-degree burns after Thor hugged her while she was holding a mug of hot coffee.

Thor was banned from hugging forever.

12: Telepathy and pickles should never, ever mix.

Tony pulled on the lid of a pickle jar. Nothing happened. He glared at it and tried again. Nothing. He twisted with all his might. Nada. He got his Iron Man suit and tried again to loosen the lid, which stubbornly refused to budge. Tony bet that in its (nonexistent) mind, that pickle jar lid was laughing at him. He looked at it in despair. What would he put in his sandwich now?! However, he had one last backup plan.

"WAAAANNNDAAAAAAAA?!" He yelled in the vague direction of her room, which she may or may not have been in. (Even if she wasn't, the whole building could hear him at that volume.) Wanda appeared in the kitchen about five minutes later.

"Hello."

"Wanda, thank god you're here." Wanda raised an eyebrow. "I can't get this pickle jar open."

Wanda facepalmed. "You could not do it yourself?"

"No! It's terrible!" Tony yelled, rather dramatically. "I need you to telepath it open. Please? I'll share them."

Wanda sighed. "Alright."

Tony's smile would not have looked out of place on a four-year-old being offered a pack of free jellies. "Thank you!"

Wanda focused her energy on the jar, twisting the lid slowly...

It exploded. The kitchen smelled like vinegar for a week.

13: The Vision is not a tomato. Really.

Vision sat down at the kitchen table with a bowl of tomato soup. It was his all-time favourite soup. He was just about to eat it when Tony burst in, dramatically pointing a finger at the android.

"CANNIBAL!" He then went on to rant about why you must never, ever, eat another of your species.

Vision eventually got tired of trying to explain that, even though he was read with some green bits, he was not a tomato, then being interrupted mid-sentence. He floated through the wall, taking his soup with him. Unfortunately (shocking as it is), soup cannot willingly alter its density and ended up just smashing into the wall. Predictably, the bowl broke and soup got all over the floor.

From then on, he just made toast.

14: Do not criticise Steve's baking.

Everyone was sitting in the living room, watching Star Wars and eating one of Steve's cakes.

Sam grabbed another slice. "This is a really good cake."

Tony chewed his piece critically. "I don't know. It's kinda dry."

Tony spent the next few days in the Medical Wing with a broken arm.

15: Do not give everyone a ship name with Nick Fury, no matter how funny the results.

Tony sat in the corner of the living room, writing very intently in an Iron Man Stationary Set® notebook. Sam Wilson passed by. "Hey, what'cha doing, Tony?"

Tony remained silent for a second, tapping his pen against his bottom lip thoughtfully. "Hmmmm... Sick. Or Fam? Nah. Sick." Sam, puzzled, walked off.

Next was Steve and Rhodey. Tony looked both up and down. "Stick. Definitely Stick. Aaaaannnnnnddd... Rick. Yeah." Steve walked off to search the phone book for the numbers of local psychiatrists, asylums and Pepper. Rhodey quietly followed.

After was Thor, Vision and Wanda. Tony decided on Thick (Thor had thought he was referring to him, and Tony narrowly escaped a hammer to the head), Vick, and Wick (Wanda and Vision had just looked confused.) After that Click (a mine of puns, that one) and Romanofury. (Other, more sane ship names were deemed too boring.)

Tony spent the next few days being examined by both Pepper and a psychiatrist, but it was worth it.

17: Do not replace Clint's bed with a giant nest.

Clint was having a normal, functional day, with nothing weird or unusual or strange whatsoever. He honestly should have seen something like this coming. He had pushed open the door to his room, wanting nothing more than to flop face-first into bed, when he realized there was no bed. In the middle of the room was a large pile of sticks. A nest. And on the nest was a note. the note said:

Hey, Birdbrain.

I got you a gift. I thought you'd feel more 'at home' in it.

XX

Tony.

Clint was not amused. He threw his note in the bin, and sat down in the chair beside his bed-nest-steaming like a vegetable. He would get revenge for this.

Tony was tired. He had had a long day. He pulled open the door to his room, ready to lie down in bed and watch 'funny meme' videos. But there was already somebody in his bed. Clint was lying on his stomach, sprawled out and taking up as much space as possible. Tony glared at him. Clint snored loudly. He took my bed. He is sleeping in my freaking bed. Now Tony was the angry one.

The nest was removed the next day and Clint's bed was brought back.

18: Do not replace the orange juice with Tabasco sauce.

It was eight A.M., and the Avengers were eating breakfast. Steve looked up from his cereal. "Hey, guys, I think we have some orange juice in the fridge. Anybody want some?" Everyone except Tony nodded, so Steve poured out nine glasses. He thought the juice looked suspiciously reddish, but dismissed it. He handed the glasses around and everyone took a sip. Tony pulled out his phone and pressed 'video'.

Thor drained his glass in one gulp. He was also first to notice the extreme spiciness. He took a deep breath to try and cool his burning mouth, but to his dismay it only made it slightly worse. He did have experience with spicy food thanks to the Wasabi Incident, as the Internet had dubbed it. He was already suspecting Tony as the cause of this. Around him, the other Avengers noticed there was something off about the 'juice', before the burning kicked in. Some chugged glasses of water, others ran to the freezer to get ice cubes. One or two poured themselves glasses of milk. Tony just sat at the table, legs propped on Steve's now-vacant chair, filming the utter chaos around him. Within fifteen minutes the video was up on YouTube. Within fifteen hours it had gained over 100,000 hits.

Tony was unsurprised (but not pleased) to find random spicy food in every meal he ate for the next week and a half.

19: Do not hack the TV so it only plays reruns of Dora.

"TOOOONYYYYYY?!" Steve's voice echoed down the corridor. Tony, who was playing Minecraft Hunger Games, looked up for a split second, and was promptly killed by some guy with a diamond sword and, ironically, an Iron Man skin. He sighed and pocketed his phone.

"YEEEEEEESSSSSS?!"

"THE TV'S NOT WORKING!" Tony grinned. That morning, before the others were awake, he had hacked the television so it only played reruns of Dora, and only he could change it back. He jogged down the corridor to the TV room. He poked his head through the door. Steve twisted around from his position sitting on the couch. "The TV isn't working. It won't play anything that isn't Dora." Tony pretended to closely examine the television.

"I don't know what's wrong. I think the satellite might be out. It'll probably be back to normal tomorrow." That situation repeated itself five more times (with different people). Tony was very pleased with himself.

Sam switched on the TV. He, Wanda and Vision were planning to have a Harry Potter marathon. It automatically showed Dora, for some reason. He shrugged. Maybe someone had been watching something else on that channel earlier. However, when he tried to switch to the DVD player, nothing happened. He turned to Vision. "Hey, man, what's wrong with the TV? It won't play anything except Dora." Wanda frowned.

"I think Steve said something about a faulty satellite earlier." Sam nodded and turned to Vision.

"Hey, can you do that mind-internet thingy to check it out? Would it work with a satellite?" Vision nodded and concentrated in silence for a few minutes.

"All television satellites currently being used by the Avengers facility seem to be in perfect order. However, the television set itself does seem to have been hacked."

"Who would do that, though?" Asked Wanda.

Vision raised an eyebrow. "Take a wild guess."

It was at that moment that the other Avengers came in, Tony included. "Hey," said Rhodey. "Is the TV working yet?"

Sam shook his head. "Vision says it's been hacked."

Every head turned to Tony. He did the smart thing and ran off as fast as he possibly could.

20: Do not resurrect Pietro Maximoff...

The lab was eerily dark. In the middle of the room was a table, and on that table was a sheet. The shape of a human body was visible underneath the sheet. Suddenly, three figures entered, one leading, one pushing a large box and one floating lazily a few inches off the ground. The leader fumbled along the wall for a light switch, finding it after much tripping over and cursing. He surveyed his partners. "So, gentlemen. Today we attempt the impossible: Reversing death. Thor, got the Cradle?" Thor gestured to the newly-repaired machine. "Vision, do you have the mind stone?"

"Yes. It is still here, in my face, right between my eyes. I am pretty sure it isn't missing."

"Okay, no need to be all sarcastic. So," Tony grinned, looking a lot like a mad scientist. "Let's begin."

And I have updated! I started this chapter in June, dammit. Anyway, Pietro shall make his appearance in the next chapter.

And as always: Have a nice day.

Well done if you got the above reference.

Also, how do y'all feel about Stony? I personally don't have particularly strong feelings about it (I don't have very strong feelings about many MCU ships, really. Except ScarletVision. And ships that contradict ScarletVision. NOBODY messes with my OTP.), but I'll add it in if I get enough requests.