Here we go, as promised - a slightly earlier post this week because I am away this weekend. Off to London tomorrow for London Film and Comic Con - should be a really fun and geek filled weekend and hopefully I can meet 'Dumbledore' and 'Mr Filch' and get there autographs to add to my collection :) As well as spend yet more money on Harry Potter merchandise - yay :)
Hope you like this chapter and I just want to say thank you so very, very much to those people who take the time to reply here, particularly those who do so after every chapter. It means so much and your reviews make me smile...I'm kinda proud of this. Thanks again!
Disclaimer: JK Rowling just allows me to play with these characters, sadly she will not let me keep Ron!
Chapter Twelve
I was in a deep sleep when a commotion right outside my bedroom door woke me. Sitting bolt upright in bed whilst grabbing my wand from the bedside table, I listened carefully, evaluating the situation and the best course of action. Were my children in danger? As I swung my legs out of bed and crept towards the door, I breathed a huge sigh of relief. The only voices I could hear were that of my daughter, though sounding rather indignant, and the hushed frantic whispering of my husband.
I lit the tip of my wand and opened the door. "What is gong on?" I hissed, not wanting to wake Hugo. It had taken long enough to get him to sleep as it was. He'd been overly excitable at having his Dad home and he didn't seem to want to miss a second of it. He'd only settled after Ron had taken him to bed and read to him. Rose hadn't liked that, but at least she'd been more subdued about her feelings over it than before.
Until now that was. Both faces had turned to me as I'd opened the door. Ron's apologetically, and Rose's warily, but it would seem they had been in the middle of some heated discussion.
"Rose, what are you doing out of bed?" I asked her. It was, after all, still the early hours of the morning.
"Sorry, my fault," Ron cut in. "I was just coming out of my room when she came out of the bathroom. And…"
"Why he sleep in there!" Rose demanded of me, pointing towards the spare room and not keeping her voice down.
"Ssh, I don't want your brother joining this little rendezvous!" I hissed.
She screwed her nose up at me, not understanding that word. "Why?" She then demanded an answer to her question, giving Ron a scornful glare and then looking up at me expectantly.
"Well…because, I…" I stammered for an answer.
"It was my idea," Ron began, not wanting her angry with me over something he'd done.
"Daddies are supposed to sleep with mummies!" She insisted, her hand on her hip.
"Not all daddies," I argued back.
"They do too," she nodded, her mussed up red curls floating around her head. "Lily's daddy sleeps with her mummy. And Victoire's daddy sleeps with her mummy. And Fred's daddy sleeps with his mummy. And…"
"Yes, yes, okay. I get it. Most daddies do sleep with the mummies. But…"
"Rose…your Mum and I, we've been a part for a long time and…" Ron attempted to explain, but then faded off and looked to me to help him.
Rose huffed and folded her arms across her pale pink, fairy covered nightgown. "Don't you love him?" she asked me.
I sighed deeply. I so didn't need this conversation at three in the morning. Ron looked curiously at me for the answer to that one as well. Even though he should already be well aware of my feelings for him. "Yes," I answered her simply and honestly.
"You don't love my mummy!" Rose then accused him, figuring it must be his fault.
"That's not true!" he retorted at normal range, forgetting we were trying to keep our voices down. "I do," he then whispered. "I love you all, but…it's just, it…" he stammered.
"Rose, come with me," I took her hand and led her back to my room. "I got this," I told him. "You go back to bed."
"I'm sorry," he mumbled.
I shook my head. "Don't worry about it, there was bound to be questions. I'll talk to her. It's fine."
He nodded, but looked rather remorseful about it. "Well, goodnight," he whispered and then returned to his room, seemingly forgetting he'd been heading for the bathroom before.
Closing my bedroom door behind me, I turned to sit on the bed. Rose had already crawled beneath the blankets, making herself comfortable, and was waiting for me in what was supposed to be Ron's side of the bed. I got in beside her. "Now," I began.
"I don't like him here," she sulked.
"Rose…" I sighed, searching for the right words and wishing again that I wasn't dealing with this in the early hours of the morning. "I know it's going to take some getting used to, having daddy home. He's been gone a long time and maybe you don't remember him much either. I understand that it's weird for you. But, I'm hoping you can understand that it's going to take daddy some time to get used to us all again as well?" I asked.
She glared at me, or tried to, before her bottom lip jutted out and the tears fell.
"Oh sweetheart," I scooted her closer to me and lay down beside her. "I know it's all very confusing. But, I promise that daddy loves you."
"He leaved us," she sniffed. "And you cried, all…" she hiccuped, "the time," she wailed.
"He never wanted to sweetheart, he never meant to leave us and I know he'd change it all if he could. He was sad without us too. I'm sorry that you only remember the sad times…that you saw mummy crying so much. But, that wasn't daddy's fault – I just missed him so much. He's very, very special to me and I was so sad he was gone. But, we're lucky – we get to have him back." I whispered and brushed her hair from her face.
She just looked up at me, confused and wide eyed. "Why he sleep in Grandma's room?" she asked again. The only person to usually use the spare room was my Mum, hence her referring to is as Grandma's room.
"Because…well, because he needs to remember being with us and how things used to be before he'll feel comfortable at home again or sleeping in here. This must be strange for him, being in a house with people he doesn't really know yet. It's not because he doesn't love mummy, he just doesn't remember that he loves mummy. Do you understand that?"
She shook her head.
"I know, it's hard." I sighed and lay my head on my pillow. "But, all we can do is help him to remember and let him know we want him here, because the one thing I wanted the very most was to have your daddy back…and we got him. So, we should be happy, right?" I asked her, then looked down and realised she had fallen asleep.
"Oh Rosie," I sighed deeply and kissed her forehead, before shuffling her down onto the pillow. I'd let her sleep with me tonight. "I hope you can understand all this soon, because you're breaking your dad's heart," I whispered. And then I extinguished my wand, lay back down under the sheets and sought the solace of sleep for a few more hours.
I woke a little later than usual in the morning, tired after my broken nights sleep. You'd think I'd be used to it, but it had taken me some time to drift off again after the altercation in the hallway. A dozen thoughts had been running through my head and I had found myself still laying quietly as dawn broke outside, listening for sounds of Ron in the room next-door, whilst out daughter slept soundly beside me.
There was a crash from downstairs that finally jolted me from my bed and had me running downstairs in my pyjamas. Rose was lying on the couch, completely none perturbed by the noise as she looked through a book. Between Molly and I teaching her, she was starting to learn a few words, but mostly she just followed the story through the pictures. I kissed the top of her head quickly and rushed through to the kitchen, discovering the cause of the noise.
Hugo was standing in the middle of the kitchen, looking utterly dismayed at the broken china at his feet. Ron was trying to console him, telling him it wasn't his fault, that it was fine. But his little bottom lip was wobbling and I knew he'd be in tears soon. Hugo that is, not my husband. Though, from the looks of Ron's face, he wasn't far behind.
With a sigh of relief that it was just some broken dishes, and not a broken window with Death Eaters crawling inside to attack my family, I flicked my wand, that I had thought to grab from my bedside table, muttered 'reparo' under my breath and the dishes restored themselves, stacking together on the table and not a mark on them.
Hugo looked up at Ron with delight – as if he'd done the magic himself. But then followed his father's gaze to me, standing in the doorway.
"I sowwy Mummy," he muttered, hanging his head.
"Oh sweetheart, that's okay. I heard daddy say it wasn't your fault. And look, they're all fixed, so no harm done." I crouched down and held my arms open for him. He ran towards me and threw his little arms around my neck, sighing deeply into me.
"We was making you bweakfast," he muttered then.
Ron added. "Hugo wanted to help, he was setting the table, but I didn't think and the plates were too heavy for him. Sorry, I forgot that spell," he shrugged and looked sheepish.
I just grinned at the pair of them and shook my head. I didn't care about the dishes. I was just thrilled that my boys were together in the kitchen, making me breakfast and enjoying being together. Ron, I noted happily, was using the oven, magically. I had given him a brief demonstration last night when I made dinner, but now he was using it like pro – he'd picked it up really quickly. I suppose I shouldn't have been too surprised – magic was innate to him after all and I was sure using magic in his day to day life would return as second nature to him in no time.
"Well, what can I do to help?" I asked.
"Nothing," Ron turned back to the stove to check on the bacon sizzling in the pan. "You sit there and I'll bring you a cup of tea in a minute." He smiled as he pointed to a chair at the table.
I smirked to myself, more thrilled than I was going to let on that someone was waiting on me for a change, and did as I was instructed.
"Mummy," Hugo tugged on my hand. "Daddy still here!" he giggled. "See!" He pointed to his dad as though I hadn't seen him until he pointed him out. "I like him, can he stay?" he asked, as though requesting to keep a stray puppy that had followed him home.
"Of course he can stay, this is his home sweetie." I tucked my little boy under the chin as he giggled at me. "I'm glad you like him though, he's pretty great, huh?" I stage whispered to him.
Hugo nodded, before skipping off to stand by Ron's side and help in any way he could, I suspected he might actually be more of a hindrance, getting under his feet, but Ron never let it be known, giving him little tasks to do and helping with the cooking when he thought it was safe.
Eventually, we all sat down to a delicious breakfast together, including Rose who had skulked in from the lounge with her book. And then sulked when I asked her to put it down whilst we were eating.
We were almost done with our breakfast, when Hugo began bouncing in his seat. "Mummy, mummy, Beau's here...he got post! It's Beau mummy!"
"Yes, I see him. Settle down." I patted his sticky hand and went to open the window for the owl. He only had two letters – one from work for me, and another that was for Ron. "This one's for you," I handed it over.
"Me?" he frowned, setting down his teacup. "But…who'd be writing to me?" he wondered.
"It erm…it looks like your mum's handwriting," I added tactfully.
"Oh." He stared at the letter as though it might bite him.
"I actually suggested she wrote to you. She had so many messages for me to pass on yesterday, I told her perhaps she should write you a letter. I hope…well, I didn't want to upset you."
"No," he decided, glancing up from his letter. "No, this…it's probably a good idea." He nodded and then got up. "You don't mind, do you?" he wondered, taking his letter away with him.
"You go read it. We'll clean up in here," I smiled at him as he wandered away, still gazing at the unopened letter.
"Mummy, Beau wants his treat!" Rose demanded curtly. I looked up where Rose was happily stroking the owls chest with the tip of her finger and crooning to him. She loved the owl and he adored her.
"What? Oh, yes, of course." I got up, still watching Ron head towards the stairs as I brought the owl treat jar over. "Don't give him too many," I warned her, wondering if Ron was going to be okay. He'd been doing so well, I didn't want anything to set him back.
We'd cleaned the kitchen and were all dressed again by the time he came back downstairs, having shut himself away in his room for awhile. He was still carrying the letter when he found us in the kitchen. Rose had wanted to make cupcakes, and wanting to keep her in a good mood, I had given in. Hugo was currently licking his spoon, whilst Rose carefully stirred the contents in the bowl.
"Don't you put your yucky spoon back in here!" She warned him.
Hugo stuck his tongue out of his very chocolaty face at her.
"Hey," I looked up from supervising when Ron found us. "Everything okay?" I asked gently, trying to gauge from his face how much the contact with his Mum had affected him.
"Erm, yeah." He stuffed the letter in his pocket. "I erm...I was wondering. Do you have any paper and stuff?" he asked, nervously.
"Sure," I wiped my hands on a tea towel. "You're going to write back?" I assumed, leading him through into the little study. "You to behave for two minutes!" I warned the children. "I'll be right back.
He shrugged, standing rather helplessly in the study as I rummaged in a drawer in my desk. "Yeah, I was thinking I might. Or even just try and write down some thoughts. I don't know," he shrugged again.
"Well, here you go." I handed him a new roll of parchment. "There's ink and quills on the desk, and if you decide to send a letter, there's envelopes in the top drawer. Beau will take it for you." I rambled on and turned to find him taking the letter from his pocket again. "Was…was your Mum okay? In the letter I mean, she didn't…"
"Nah, she was fine. Mostly just saying how much she's missed me and how happy she is I'm okay…and asking when she can see me. "
I nodded, thoughtfully, wondering myself when he'd be ready to see his parents. "Well, I'll leave you to it. I'll keep the kids out of your way for a bit," I promised him. And then came a clang and arguing from the kitchen. "I'd best get back to them." I smiled and left him alone to compose his thoughts in writing.
We didn't see Ron for a few hours after that. And, after awhile I grew tired of preventing a very impatient Hugo from bothering him. Every few minutes he was asking where he was, why he couldn't go in and what he was doing. So, in the end I took both children out to Diagon Alley to stock up on some food and potion ingredients we were low on. Along with the promise of a visit to their uncles shop if they behaved.
"Hello? Anyone home?" A voice called from the lounge.
Hugo looked up at me from the bathtub I was knelt beside as I washed his hair. "Unca Hawwy?" He gasped and made to climb from the bath.
"Hugo, wait! You still have shampoo in your hair." I tried to catch him, but he was wet and slippery and he wriggled free easily. He was racing down the stairs, completely naked, before I even had chance to stand up. "Hugo!" I called after him, chasing behind with a towel, knowing I could have stopped him with my wand – but I'd left it downstairs.
"Hey Unca Hawwy!" He squealed, reaching the front lounge and jumping into his Uncle's arms just as I reached the bottom of the stairs.
"Hey buddy, erm…forget something?" He looked at the naked child in his arms. Hugo just giggled and whispered something to him as I came into the room and rolled my eyes. "I think this is yours." Harry laughed and handed me my bubbly, squirming, naked son.
"Hugo Arthur Weasley, what am I going to do with you?" I asked, wrapping him in the towel. "I need to finish your hair, up those stairs now young man!"
"Hah," he laughed and shook his head.
"I said upstairs, now march!" I set him down and patted his naked behind. He slowly made his way up stairs. "Hi Harry, sorry about that. He's rather over excited at the moment," I sighed.
"That's okay. Just thought I'd pop in and see how you were all doing." He smiled.
"Great," I grinned. "Look, just give me a minute to finish up with the monster, and I'll be back down to chat, okay?"
"Sure," he nodded, totally at ease in my home. "Want me to put the kettle on?" he asked.
"That would be great." I sighed and returned upstairs to find out what Hugo was up to now. I highly doubted he'd got himself back in the bath.
Ten minutes later I was back, Hugo all washed, dry and snuggled in his pyjamas. As a homage to his father, I had continued to buy him Chudley Cannons pyjamas and he wore them with pride in the knowledge they had been his Dad's favourite team. "Sorry about that," I apologised to Harry, eyeing the coffees he had made appreciatively.
Harry shrugged nonchalantly. "Don't worry about it, Lily does it to me at least twice a week," he chuckled. "I made coffee." He handed me one of the mugs. "Where's Ron?" he wondered, eyeing the third cup he'd made.
"Oh, he went out for a walk. I think he misses all the fresh air from working on the farm." I added. "And, he had a letter from his Mum today, so he probably went to think things over."
Harry nodded and leant against the kitchen counter. "So, how is it all going? How's he doing?" He asked quickly, wanting to get the conversation done before he came back or we were interrupted by children.
"He's…" I paused as I considered my answer, taking a sip of the coffee. "He's okay." I decided and led Harry through to the lounge. "He's remembered a few more things."
"He has? That's great!" Harry took a seat. "So, is he glad to be home, or…"
"I don't know. He loves the children and Hugo adores him. Though I think he just sees him as a new playmate at the moment. Rose has been...difficult, is probably the kindest way to describe it. I don't know why, but she's upset and resents him being here. She claims he's not her real daddy. It's not been easy on poor Ron, he overheard her saying she hated him yesterday and I think it broke his heart a bit."
"Poor Ron," Harry sympathised. "That's the last thing he needs to hear when he's trying to get to know everyone again. But, then it's got to be weird for the kids as well. Hugo is young enough to just get on with things, he doesn't remember how they were before, so he just accepts what you tell him. But Rose…she remembers things. She saw all the bad stuff that followed his disappearance, and…"
"She seems angry with him," I interrupted.
"Maybe she is. Maybe she blames him for making her Mummy so sad, for leaving you all alone, for not being here for her. All she really understood was he'd gone away and wasn't coming home. And now, suddenly he's back. She could be a bit jealous too. She's had you to herself, well along with Hugo, these last two years. Now she has to share you with someone else, someone she thinks hurt you."
"You could be right," I mused, drinking more of my coffee.
"Unca Hawwy, I back!" Hugo jumped down the last stair as usual and ran towards his Uncle, climbing up onto the sofa between us.
"Hey kiddo, that's better now you have clothes on." Harry ruffled his nephew's hair up as Hugo playfully batted him away.
"Guess what?" he asked Harry in a loud, conspiratorial whisper. "I got new daddy!" He told him, his eyes wide with glee as he bounced on the sofa.
Harry looked at me wide eyed as he muttered, 'Oh,' to Hugo.
I almost spluttered over my coffee. "Hugo," I put my mug down on the table. "He's not a new daddy. He's, Ron is the same daddy you've always had. The same one in all your photos from when you were a baby. I showed you the photos yesterday." I sighed, realising he didn't really understand this at all.
He nodded. "New daddy!" he repeated and clapped his hands as he giggled.
"No. Not new daddy. The same daddy…you only have one daddy. He was just…lost before, but we found him now." I tried to explain and looked to Harry for help.
"Ron's always been your dad kiddo. He was here when you were born and, well before that too. Like your Mum said, he was just lost for awhile…we couldn't find him."
"Daddy lost?" He looked worried and scrambled off the sofa, racing towards the window, knowing that Ron had gone outside.
"No. He's not lost now. He was, but now he's not." I groaned and lay my head back on the sofa. How did I get a two year old to understand this. "Look. He's just your daddy, okay? Always has been and always will be. I promise." I scooped him up and took him through to the kitchen for a glass of milk.
"Always daddy?" He asked on the way.
"Yes, always. Even when he's not here, he's your daddy and he loves you." I whispered and kissed his clean, soft ginger hair.
A burst of fresh air down the hallway heralded the fact that Ron had returned from his walk. I heard Harry and him greet each other in the other room as I handed Hugo his cup of milk and followed him back through to the lounge. Ron smiled when he saw us.
"Did you have a nice walk?" I asked, watching as Hugo approached Ron and held both arms, cup and all, up towards him. Ron, seemingly knowing what he wanted, expertly scooped him up and sat down with his son in one fluid motion – as though he'd always done it.
"I did. I wandered down towards the edge of the woods. I was thinking, might be a nice spot for a picnic one day?" H wondered.
"That sounds nice," I agreed with a nod. It would be nice to get out and do something together as a family. "Would you like a coffee?" I asked him.
"Mind if I have tea instead?" he asked.
"Course not," I smiled, remembering his preference and secretly glad it was still the same – any glimpse of my old Ron gave me hope. "Harry?" I asked, wondering if he wanted another cup.
"Thanks Hermione." He handed me the empty mugs from the coffee table, just as Rose called me from upstairs.
I looked up and sighed. "I should go, she's in the bath. Miss independent insists she can do it herself now. Until she realises she stills needs some help." I sighed, my little girl was growing up way too fast.
Harry laughed. "James has started to hide himself, well, his, erm…bits, in front of Ginny. She's mortified that he's not her baby anymore." He shook his head, probably finding us mother's a little too sentimental.
"You go see to Rosie, I'll make the drinks." Ron offered, sitting Hugo in his seat and taking the mugs from me. Hugo immediately got down to follow after his dad, as though he were his shadow.
"Daddy…" I heard him say as I made my way upstairs. "You is not my new daddy. You is my always daddy," he told him. I bit my lip, maybe he did understand. I waited for Ron's reply.
"That's right buddy. Forever and ever daddy." he promised him and I heard Hugo giggle as I inhaled deeply and went to sort out our daughter.
"So, Ron…" Harry began, once I sat down again with Rose all snugly in her unicorn pyjama's and her glass of milk. Hugo was still curled up with Ron in the armchair. To anyone looking in through a window, for all intents and purposes we'd appear to be a normal, close, loving family entertaining a friend. Although I smiled at the image it conjured, I knew we were anything but normal. I'd never felt so distant from Ron.
"Listen, I really don't want to pressure you mate. But, if you remember anything about your sister it's that she's bloo…" he glanced at the kids, "well she can be very stubborn and headstrong about things." He tactfully changed his wording. "I love her endlessly, but I also know what's she's like and that she's likely to curse me if I don't ask…and I'm rather attached to my…"
I coughed to interrupt what he was about to say as Ron chuckled, with Hugo looking up at him curiously and giggling too. Even though he had no idea what was funny.
"Erm, yeah." Harry squirmed. "Anyway, what I wanted to say was, no pressure, but Ginny is really badgering me about seeing you. Reckons it's unfair that I've seen her own brother and she hasn't. So, I was wondering, well hoping, you might be up for meeting her, soon?"
"Oh," Ron looked across at me and I noticed him stiffen slightly. I knew meeting his family still worried him, thinking that he wasn't going to be enough for them or something. "I...I don't know," he stammered.
"Might be good for you to see your sister?" I suggested gently.
"Come on mate, help a buddy out? She's driving me mental!" Harry sighed.
Ron groaned and rubbed the back of his neck. "I just...I don't. Well, how soon?" he wondered. I know he was only just beginning to feel somewhat comfortable here with the three of us. To spring more people on him might overwhelm him.
"It doesn't have to be anything huge, Ron." I continued. "We could just have lunch together or something, here. Just the four of us. So, it will only be meeting Ginny."
"Yeah, I can get a sitter for the kids. George owes us one come to think of it," Harry mused.
"Or, you could bring the kids. They can play with Rose and Hugo then, keep them entertained." I proposed, carefully wording what I was really thinking – they'd play and stay out of our way. "What do you think Ron? It's up to you. But…I know your sister loves you and how desperate she is to see you."
Ron sighed deeply, closed his eyes for a moment and then nodded. "Okay, fine. I'll see her."
"Great!" Harry grinned, relieved he'd have good news to take home to his wife.
"How about Saturday?" I wondered, wanting to act now before he found some excuse.
"But, that's tomorrow?" Ron spluttered.
"I know, gives you less time to get all worked up about it," I smiled at him.
"Yeah, fine," he swallowed thickly.
"Sounds great. Ginny will be thrilled."
Harry helped me take all the cups through to the kitchen when we were done, he set them in the sink and used his wand to wash them. "Well, that was a good result?" he whispered.
"Yes, it's great that he's agreed to see Ginny. It's certainly another step in the right direction."
"You'll get there Hermione." He clasped my shoulder as he set a tea towel to dry the cups magically. "He's come a long way already, remember that," he smiled at me.
I nodded and sniffed back a tear with a wet smile. "I know."
"You told me how things were for the kids with their dad being home. But, how are things for you? I mean, it must be…well, a bit weird!" He raised an eyebrow.
I gave a half laugh and nodded. "Something like that. It just," I shrugged, "I mean, it's amazing having him here. It's more than I ever dared hope for, having him back. But then in some ways it's a little awkward, you know?" I asked him.
"Well, I would assume some things are...different?" He smirked.
I slapped his arm. "Of course that's different. We're married, but we're hardly a couple. He's distant at times and he goes quiet on me a lot, goes off by himself and I find myself hating that. I know it's going to take time, I know that, but," I shrugged again and sighed. "It's just, hard."
Harry grinned at me and I knew what he was thinking. I'd thought I hadn't let on too much, but he had surmised what I was getting at. I missed the intimacy between Ron and I, the physical act of being a couple. Sometimes I was afraid to touch him in fear of freaking him out and I didn't want to us to be like that. I didn't want to have to second guess being able to hug or kiss my husband. Harry was still smirking at me. I slapped his arm again as I blushed and turned to busy myself with putting the clean cups away.
"Right you two, bedtime," I clapped my hands to get the kids attention after Harry left a short time later. Hugo had been on the brink of falling asleep as it was.
"Aaw, mummy," he whined.
"It's past your bedtime already young man. Daddy can take you up if you want him to," I tried to use him as leverage. Ron willingly stood, ready to take our son up to bed.
"You mean always daddy." Hugo insisted.
"Huh?" I wondered. He hadn't got the wrong end of the stick again, had he?
"What he say mummy?" Rose looked at me, frowning.
"He our always and foreber daddy!" Hugo said, waving his hands in the air in a wide arc.
I sighed and sat down again. "Your brother is a little confused." I began to explain. "He told Uncle Harry that he had a new daddy."
Rose scowled at her brother, obviously thinking him stupid.
"But, he was only a baby when daddy went missing. He doesn't remember him like you do, and he got a bit confused. So, we had to explain that it's the same daddy he's always had…I think he's still a bit confused though," I groaned. This wasn't meant to be this hard, was it?
"Yep, same daddy," she whispered. "Daddy who left us," she added sullenly under her breath.
"Rosie…he, he didn't leave us on purpose," I attempted again. These conversations were getting old.
Ron suddenly touched my back and nodded towards her, wanting to speak to her himself. Rose folded her arms and looked away. "Rose…I know you're…perhaps cross with me, because I wasn't here, because I left you all." He knelt in front of her where she sat on the sofa. "And I know you hate how sad everyone was and how much your mummy cried. And…maybe you missed me too. And I understand that, I really do. But…I want you to know I would never, ever have left you if I could help it. I didn't want to, I'd never want to leave my beautiful little girl. But…the bad men, they hurt daddy, they hurt my head and made me forget about you, all of you."
He paused and looked up at me for guidance. I nodded and smiled through tear filled eyes, proud of him. He was doing an amazing job, better than I had. And I knew, even if Ron and I didn't make it through this, that no matter what, he was going to be a fantastic father to our children.
"I hate every day that I forgot you sweet girl, every day. Because you're beautiful and smart and kind and I know you've been such a good helper to your Mum. And I hate that I missed out on these last two years, it's not fair…and it's definitely not fair on a little girl or a little boy." He looked towards Hugo, who, having grown bored with this conversation had pulled a few toys from his chest and was sat cross legged on the floor with a dragon stamping on the toy cars my parents bought him.
Ron chuckled at him slightly, before wiping a tear from his face and daring to sit on the sofa beside his little girl. "I am so very, very sorry that you had to go through it all. So sorry that you had to be so sad and that I wasn't here for you. You know I would have been if I could, right? I would never have left my family if it were up to me. Never. I'm so very sorry Rosie girl."
I bit my bottom lip, tears escaping my eyes as I dashed them away quickly, waiting for a response from her. Ron's words had been sincere, I knew that, but did a four year old? Hugo looked up briefly and frowned at everyone, wondering why things were all serious. Thinking perhaps he was in trouble he put his toys back into the box and stared shame faced at me, until I held out my hand and he smiled as he skipped over.
Rose continued to stare at us in silence, her expression sad. I was afraid she was about to yell at her dad again, tell him she hated him and he should get out. But instead she let out a deep breath and looked up at her daddy. Ron smiled at her.
I held my breath then as she reached up and brushed a tear from her own eye before crawling into his lap. More tears rolled down my cheeks when she cuddled into him, rested her head against his chest and whispered barely audibly. "Never ever leave us again daddy," and stuck her thumb in her mouth.
Ron bit back a sob, he had tears rolling down his cheeks as well. He cuddled her back and whispered. "I'll do my very, very best Rosie Posie, I promise." And then he kissed the top of her head as she closed her eyes and went to sleep with her daddy.
I gasped at his use of her old nickname, the nickname he had started from the second she was born and we knew we had our Rose. And then Ron caught my eye, both of us in tears of happiness, we smiled at one another.
Until next week then...