Many thanks to misswinterseat for her help and support and to all of you for reading, following and leaving your kind reviews. I know that this story is more angst than my usual writing, but it is something that was in my head for so long, that lately I just couldn't write anything else. So, here it is, one more chapter; there is just one more to go. Hope you'll enjoy, and please let me know your thoughts.

(*) The Eighth Doctor insinuated once that his mother was human and I decided to use this information in here.

He needs to find Clara to say his goodbyes, but also, to help her to find him.

"Come on, come on, come on!" He growled and kicked the console in exasperation when the TARDIS continued to ignore his commands. "Why are you doing this? You know very well that I must find her! She needs me!"

The TARDIS beeped and flickered her lights in disapproval, once more denying him his wish and he ran a hand through his tired face. Leaning against the console he bowed his head and closed his eyes trying his best to ignore the prickle of tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Come on, old girl. Help me here, please," he said in a quiet tone. "Right now she is lost in an alien planet, hurt, alone and confused, hoping for a miracle or a someone who can help her. And you," he pointed a trembling finger up at the rotors, "you more than anyone else know who must help her now."

The lights flickered once more and the ship went silent, as if she was considering his words.

He was stuck, powerless. The only way he could get to Clara was with the help of the TARDIS. He must find her and send her a message, giving Clara enough information so she could be able to locate his younger self at his home planet and he would help her.

He bit his lower lip, a flash of understanding crossing his mind. The TARDIS didn't trust him. And maybe she wasn't wrong, because he knew that there still was a tiny part of him that would do anything to have her back at his side, that didn't want to let go of her, even knowing what the future would bring to her. His memories about all those glorious days they shared, all the happiness and love, should be enough to soothe his hearts and give him the strength to face that his face time with her had finished, but that her time with him was only about to begin. So why did it still hurt that much? How much of a bad person he was for feeling that way?

After a long moment, he felt the lights changing inside the ship, a low humming calling him back and prompted him to lift his head to see the image of Clara, in the exact way he had seen her for the last time, at the top of the stairs of the second level. A holographic projection of his Clara,

created by the TARDIS interface, so real that he could feel the warm of the dark eyes that watched him with clear concern.

He closed his eyes for a moment, unable to look at her. Of all the faces the TARDIS could have chosen, it had to be hers. He shook his head, a sad sigh escaping his lips.

"Now you are just being cruel," he stated, his voice hoarse.

"Maybe," the interface's voice said, Clara's voice, those so familiar dark eyes watching him carefully. "But I need you to promise me that you wouldn't do anything stupid."

"I'm a stupid man," he half laughed. "You should know this by now."

"I do," the hologram's face softened. "That's why I'm here." The image stepped near him and he almost expected to hear the sound of her shoes clapping against the metal floor, but nothing came when she moved. "Doctor, please, promise me. You know that you can't change it. You know the consequences."

He sighed, turning his back at the image, unable to look at her face anymore. "Why did you never tell me?"

"You know the answer for that."

Of course he did; he wasn't supposed to know about his own future.

He saw her moving around the console to close the final distance between them. If this were the real Clara, she would touch his arm, fondly, coercing him to look at her.

"Promise me, Doctor."

"You know I can't. It can kill her," he said quietly, staring at the floor. "There is nothing I can do, even if I wanted to."

"And do you?"

He glanced at her from over his shoulder and she was there, watching him, silently waiting for his answer. A sad chuckle shook him.

"You already know the answer. Other wise you wouldn't be here." She watched him for a long moment.

"You are afraid of loosing her. But you know you won't," she smiled meekly. "Close your eyes, you clever boy, and remember."

Her words cut him, like a knife, but for once in a lifetime he did like he had been told and let the memories flood into his head. And he felt the hot tears running down his cheeks when the images succeeded in his mind, still so clear, still so alive. Memories of lingering touches and tender kisses, of waking up inside her warm embrace and of the softness of her skin against his. The thrumming of her heartbeats against his chest, memories of feeling whole and complete and loved, so much loved. A house near a mountain, full of laughter of children, their children; spring afternoons spent by the lake, the wind in her hair and that look in her eyes, the one that even now could make his heart beat faster.

He finally opened his eyes to look at her, his hearts warmed by the memories, and nodded at her,

letting her know that he still remembered, that he still knew how it was to be that happy. "I promise," he whispered and she smiled.

"Ok, Doctor," she said in a soft tone, so very much like the real Clara would do to soothe him. "Let's do it."

He smiled at her, knowing what they need to do. It would be dangerous and risky and it would be just another day in the TARDIS if weren't by what was at stake. Clara's life, her future and the story they had written together.

But first, if he still remembered well, he needed to make some preparations.

"How did you end up here?" He watched her cautiously while he guided through the streets of the village, her delicate hand still on his.

"Walking,"she said simply making his lips curl in a coy smile.

He shook his head, glancing at her with soft eyes.

"No, I mean, it's not usual to find a human wandering around these streets."

A spark crossed her dark eyes for a brief moment and she tilted her head, looking at him in a way that made his hearts beat just a tiny bit faster than they should.

"How could you possibly know that I am a human?"

"First, your clothes," he pointed lightly at her. "Not the usual Gallifreyan fashion. Unless you are trying to start a change in the habits, which, if you allow me to say," he took in her short skirt and black jacket, "won't be that bad at all."

A flash of a dimple let him know that she was amused. The thought that maybe there was little more of pink on her cheeks made him suppress a smile, thrilled by the idea of being able to make her blush.

"Well observed," she quirked an eyebrow that made him freeze, "but not enough to make a human of me."

"Right, then. Second," he held her wrist, his long fingers brushing her skin very lightly when he pulled the sleeve of her jacket up just enough to reveal a little device that had been hidden under it. "This little fella here seems very much alike to a translator circuit to me. I can bet that if I take it out, you won't understand a word of what I'm telling you."

Her eyes widened and she quickly retreated her wrist from his grasp, defensively crossing her arms against her chest. He showed her a gentle smile and offered her one of his hands, palm up, waiting for her to take it, letting her know that he hadn't lied to her when he had told her that he would keep her safe.

It took her a moment longer, but when she finally accepted his hand, he felt the rush of electricity of her warm touch once more running from his fingers through his arm.

They smiled at each other, her eyes intently locked on his and he wished that he could freeze that moment.

"Third," he lifted a cocky eyebrow and she giggled.

"Oh, so is there a third?" There was a teasing spark in her dark eyes that elicited a small laugh from his lips.

"And the most impressive one," he looked into her eyes. "I felt it."

She furrowed her brows, watching him with wary eyes, pulling her hand out of his grasp once more and he instantly knew that he had done wrong.

"Oh, very clever! Did you read my mind?" A hint of concern crossed her eyes, though she didn't looked like she was angry. Well, he couldn't tell exactly, he had just met her after all.

"No! Of course not!" He let out an indignant huff. "I would never do such a thing without your permission," he opened his arms in exasperation and crossed a hand through his dark curls, taking a long breath. "I felt your pulse. One single heartbeat. There aren't many races with your kind of constitution and one heart."

She took him in for an instant. "So it was just a good guess," her eyes peered through his face, searching for the true.

"Well," he scratched the back of his neck. "It was more based on previous knowledge than anything," he stated with a soft voice and when she looked at him in confusion, he added. "My mother. She was human."

She blinked, big brown eyes widening in utterly surprise and for a moment he wondered how she could do it.

"How did you never tell me this before?"

His brows knitted in confusion for a brief moment, but a smile quickly found its way through his lips, softening his features, eyes never leaving hers. It was so easy to smile with she around him. How could she do it?

"Well, since we just met, Clara 'just' Clara, I think that it was still on time, isn't it?"

He checked the calculations on the monitors one last time. If everything was right, he had enough energy to materialize the two objects that lay now over the console and time enough to explain her everything she needed to know without given her much about her own future.

He ran a hand through his curls and sighed. It would be hard, he knew, to see her one last time. But she would be safe and very soon, she would be happy. That should be more than enough for him.

He pushed one lever and the TARDIS rotors whizzed, the sound that usually accelerated his hearts now making them feel too tight in his chest. A couple of minutes after, the ship stopped with the familiar bang and he checked the coordinates at the screen. Pressing a couple of keys he saw an image forming at the screen in front of him catching his breath.

Clara.

She looked so tired and scared and that broke his hearts all over again. But he had no time for that, right now, she needed him. Even if she would hate him after that.

With one last check at the settings of his sonic, he pushed the pair of buttons that activate the circuits that would now project his image in front of her and prayed that he could do everything he needed in time.

"Clara!" His voice echoed through the empty road and she turned around, a big smile spreading on her face when she saw him.

"Doctor!" She ran towards him and he watched her face frown in confusion when she threw hear arms around him but hugged just air. "What is it? Where are you?"

"It's a projection," he said trying to control the sadness on his voice. "Why? Why are you not here?"

He could recognize the pain on her face. It was the same inside his hearts and he felt his will faltering. So he needed to close his eyes, clinging to the memory of her by the lake, brown eyes looking at him with so much love, and that gave him strength.

"Doctor?"

He looked at her again and bit his lower lip feeling the tears stinging on his eyes.

"I'm so, so very sorry, Clara."

Her dark eyes peered his face but he saw when the glint of understanding crossed them.

"You can't rescue me, can you?"

"No," he whispered. "I can't bring you back, Clara. Not without destroying the half of the Universe and probably... killing you."

Clara nodded slowly, tears falling down her face freely. She lowered her gaze for a moment, before she looked at him once more, drying her tears with the back of her hand.

"So I'm trapped here."

He nodded.

"Where? When?"

"Gallifrey. Before the Time War."

Her eyes widened in shock, like they where malfunctioning. Still now, he couldn't understand how she could do that.

"I'm trapped in your past?"

A note of hesitation on her voice and he nodded again, keeping his eyes fixed on hers.

"And you need to find me, my very first self. He will help you."

She stared at him for a moment longer; a flicker of pain crossing the dark of her eyes and he instantly knew what she was thinking. And it pained him too.

"Do you remember meeting me? Did you always know?"

"No! Not until it was too late. Not until... you were gone," he whispered wishing that he could tell her the entire truth, that she would meet him and that they would be just fine. Both of them. "I always thought it was one of your echoes. I didn't realize it was you, the real you, until..." He took another deep breath.

She watched him for one moment and he knew that she believed him.

"Ok. So I need to find you," she bit a finger nail. "But he won't be able to send me back either, will he?"

He shook his head.
"Nobody can. I'm sorry, Clara. I really am."

Again she nodded slowly, fighting against the tears the were still rolling down, though he could tell that her mind was racing, searching for answers that he couldn't give her.

"Listen, Clara, you need to go to Mount Lung, at the Southern Mountains of Gallifrey. There is a house, called the House of Lungbarrow. There is the place where he lives. You will meet him in the village near by."

"Do you remember it? Meeting me?"

"I do," he nodded slowly. "And he will help you. Trust me."

"I do." She let out a small laugh, sadness in her eyes.

"He is quite charming, good looking, though pretty much an idiot at this point," he grinned at her trying to keep a lighter tone to that so hard conversation. "You will like him."

She let out a tiny laugh. "Glad to know that you didn't change that much."

He smiled and tried to focus on what he should do. The TARDIS beeped at him, urging him to end the conversation before it drained all her energy. He picked up the two objects at the console and handed them to her.

"Look, take this," he placed a metal bracelet on the ground in front of her and pointed the sonic at it. "It's a translator circuit, it will help you with the language at the beginning."

Clara looked at him with knitted brows and he motioned his head to coerce her to pick it up, which she did. She twirled the bracelet between her fingers before she placed on her right wrist.

"How did you do this?"

"I used a great amount of the TARDIS energy to materialize it for you, she is not very happy with me right now," he gave her a small smile, searching his trouser pocket for another thing. "And, eventually, you'll need this too."

She gasped as soon as she saw what he had placed on the ground, between them. "It's your ring," she swallowed hard. "Why will I need it?"

"You'll have to give it to him," he smiled softly. "He will lose it in the moment when he will need it the most, and you will save him, as usual."

She picked it up and closed her hand around it, eyes fixed on his, before she put it inside her

jacket pocket.

"There is something else you will need," he said and with a movement of the sonic two symbols in the round Gallyfrean writing showed up in front of her. He knew she could understand it because of the translate circuit attached on her wrist.

"What is it?"

"You know what it is," he observe her while she anxiously touched the metal of the bracelet on her wrist.

"Your name," she whispered and he just nodded, watching while she kept struggling against tears and he wished he could hold her tight against his chest and tell her that everything would be ok. Because he knew it would.

"How do I recognize him, you?" She kept looking at him, anxiously twisting her fingers. "I mean, you'd told me where to go, but how do I..."

"His eyes," he whispered and he saw a stubborn tear running down her face when she nodded in understanding.

"Will I see you again? This you?"

He closed his eyes for a moment, struggling against his own tears. "No. It's too dangerous."

She nodded as if she already knew his answer. She probably did. "So this is a goodbye, Doctor?"

And then he couldn't held it anymore, pressing a button and with the help of the sonic he just ignored all the alarms ringing in the TARDIS, materializing himself in front of her. How could he let her go like that, not knowing how he really felt, not knowing everything that was in his hearts?

She gasped when he pulled her to him, his lips crashing into hers with all the passion and love he had been holding all this time, trying to put in that single moment everything he would never be able to tell her. She clung into him as for dear life and kissed him back, hands encircling his neck pressing her body against his.

And then, he finally knew that she understood and felt all he did. And that should be enough to warm him at the lonely days that would come.

He felt the pull of the TARDIS on his body, fighting to get him back before he could damage this timeline, her energy draining quicker that he had anticipated. In one last moment of clarity, he placed his fingers on her temple, silently asking her to forgive him for this invasion.

"What are you doing?" There was fear on her voice, but she didn't move away from him.

He felt his body shaking, the ship desperately calling him back before it would be too late, but he needed to do this one last thing.

"I'm building a block to protect..." He groaned, the effort of doing it almost more than he could bear, "...your memories of me... from him..."

And then, everything vanished and he found himself at the floor of his almost discharged TARDIS, both of them drained, both of them broken.