Thank you as always for all of your amazing reviews - I love how involved you get with this story, however I don't think this is the chapter some of you were hoping for.
This chapter is entirely from Ron's point of view. This will be the only chapter with Ron as first person, but I thought it fit here and it was interesting to see what's going on inside his head. I hope you like it...
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, sadly.
Chapter Fourteen
Ron's POV
I stood gaping at the spot Hermione had disapparated from for some minutes after, not quite believing she had left me here and feeling more alone than ever. It was something of a shock to realise how much I had grown to depend on her in such a short space of time. "Fuck it!" I hissed, throwing my hands in the air and in the process, flinging my head back I managed to whack it on the shed behind me. "Fuck…" I muttered under my breath, that hurt. Heaving a huge pitiful sigh, I slid down the side of the shed and sat in the grass, my hands buried in my hair with my head on my knees. "Well done Ron," I muttered to myself. "Cocked this one up, didn't you?"
"You know, they say talking to yourself is the first sign of madness," I heard a female voice chuckle as it came towards me.
I looked, hoping Hermione had come back. And then felt my expression drop when I saw it was just my sister approaching.
"Nice to see you too bro," she snorted at the look on my face. "Especially when I come bearing gifts." She waved a bottle at me and a couple of glasses she'd obviously swiped from the house. "I saw Hermione leave and, well...thought you might need some of this?" She planted herself beside me in the grass against the old shed.
"What is it?" I looked suspiciously at the bottle she was now uncorking and pouring into two glasses.
"Firewhisky," she shrugged. "Don't tell me you don't remember this?" she handed me one.
"Only that I probably once made maybe a dozen vows to never drink the stuff again," I took the glass from her eagerly and tossed the amber liquid down my throat in one. I choked, the liquid burnt on the way down and made my eyes water. But then the drink settled in my stomach like a warm embrace, heating my entire body and I felt relaxed, calm for the first time tonight. Taking the bottle from her, I re-filled my glass.
"Take it easy with that stuff. Because I am not pouring you into bed," she warned, sipping from her own glass.
For awhile we remained silent. Sat amongst the long grass, side by side under the stars, leaning against the corrugated iron of Dad's old shed that was covered in moss. It was actually nice, companionable, just sitting there lost in our own thoughts and I could think clearly for the first time since we'd arrived here. Tonight hadn't gone well at all.
"Is Mum alright?" I finally muttered, taking another drink,
"Yeah," Ginny nodded. "She's so sorry she upset you. But, we calmed her down. She just…well, it's not been easy, you know?" she glanced at me. I wondered how much of the argument with Hermione she'd overheard, because it sounded as though I was about to get another reminder of how hard the past two years had been for all of them. But Ginny went quiet again as she drank her drink.
"I think Hermione's fed up with me," I muttered suddenly.
Ginny almost choked on her drink and I had to pat her back as she coughed and spluttered everywhere. "What the hell?" she asked, once she was done and wiped her mouth.
I shrugged. "Just…she seems, pissed off with me. Told me she didn't care what I did."
"She's just upset," Ginny replied quietly. "And…frustrated," she added.
I frowned, wondering what she meant by that. "Anyway, she left me here." I mumbled, draining my glass again. It was probably stupid to drink more, but even still my hand reached out for the bottle again. "Maybe it would have been better for everyone if no one had found me." I added, sulkily. "Ow!" I yelped then as Ginny suddenly slapped me, almost making me drop the bottle.
"How can you even think that!" she snapped, snatching the bottle from me and filling her own glass. "How can…I don't…idiot!" she hissed.
"What?" I turned to look at her. "I just figured…Hermione was getting her life back together. The kids were doing okay, they were all moving on and everything was fine. And then they found me," I waved my hands out in front of myself, in a 'ta-dah'" fashion. "And I've just screwed everything up."
"You're such a moron!" She shook her head slowly and took a sip from her glass.
"Excuse me?" I glared at her.
"Well, you are. Do you really think she was doing fine? That her whole life was all happiness and light again? Yeah, because I suppose you mourn for a few weeks, then just get over it and carry on. Bloody idiot!" She rolled her eyes at me.
"No. I don't think that. But, she….well, she got through it, she was doing alright. Getting on with things. Right?" I frowned.
Ginny sighed. "She was functioning. That is not the same as living." She stared at me pointedly. "Listen, there were days, in the first few months following, where I didn't think she'd ever make it through. There were times I'd insist on staying over because I was so scared she'd do something stupid. And there were days she couldn't bring herself to get out of bed. Although those days eventually passed and she began getting out of bed, taking care of her kids, going to work even, I knew it was only an act. I knew it was just a routine she was going through. Like she wanted to prove something to everyone. Look at me, I'm up, I'm dressed, I'm functioning. But that is not living."
"I don't understand?" I frowned and glared at the drink in my hand. This stuff was making me more stupid than usual.
Ginny sighed and set her drink down. I looked at it for a moment, considering drinking it for her. "When you…well, when we thought you'd died, something died in Hermione. She lost her spirit, her fight for life. The light went from her eyes and everyone knew she was trying to pretend everything was fine for those kids of yours. She'd do anything for them. Some days I'm pretty sure they're the only reason she didn't do anything stupid. Anyway, the last couple of years she's been like a walking zombie and no one has dared say anything to her because we all knew she was doing the best she could. She'd lost her entire world….you were her world."
I swallowed thickly, feeling like a prize arsehole. I hadn't really considered any of this. How it would feel to lose someone so close to you, or how you made it through the pain.
"And then, we get some hint that someone may have spotted you alive. You should have seen her, her face lit up like a swarm of flitterby moths. She had that hope back, the flame was relit again, you could see it. And damnit, the first time I saw her after she'd actually found you, well…she just, she looked alive again."
"I…I never knew," I mumbled, still feeling like that complete arsehole.
"Well, of course you didn't." Ginny scoffed. "But, I bet you never really thought much about it either, did you?" She glanced at me.
I shrugged. I hadn't. "Then, if that is the case, that she's so happy I'm back in her life or whatever. Then, why does she act so…pissed off with me? Like I've done something to annoy her?"
Ginny sighed and shrugged one shoulder. "Never sure with Hermione. That's the trouble with both of you, you're such passionate people. The slightest thing sets you off. Anyway, I think, and I'm not entirely sure, but…I think she's just a bit frustrated and well, disappointed."
"In me." I assumed and hung my head, feeling the need to fill my glass again. Ginny still had the bottle tucked into her other side, out of my reach. "I knew I'd just be a huge disappointment to everyone. I'm not the same person anymore."
"Oh Ron, that's not what I meant," she shook her head vigorously. "She loves you exactly the same. And to me you've barely changed. But, well…Hermione, she wants her husband back and everything that comes with a marriage, but those things will take time." She coughed as I blushed furiously. "She's sad that you don't seem to remember your relationship with her or feel the same way about her. Plus, I think maybe she's a little jealous you seem to prefer spending time with the kids as well. Like you don't want to be around her."
"But it's easy with them. They just accept me as I am and they don't expect anything from me, and you're the same with me."
"I wouldn't count on it mister, you owe me for two missed Christmases! Oh…and birthdays! I expect gifts!" She laughed.
I nudged her with my elbow playfully as I chuckled along with her.
"Listen Ron. Hermione just needs you to remember her. Not the house or some old Quidditch game or a row at school. But her…something specific to your relationship, the way you felt about her. Something special that means what you had meant enough to you for it to be preserved in that pea brain head of yours somewhere!"
"I'm trying!" I hissed. "I can't help what I can remember and what I can't."
"I know you can't, and Hermione knows it too. She really does understand and she keeps telling herself it's just going to take time. She's trying to be patient. But, that doesn't mean she's not going to feel disappointed or frustrated about things along the way. She knows it's all in there and she knows you love her. She just needs you to remember that."
"Sometimes I have these brief flashes of things, memories maybe. Just tiny seconds, like when you wake from a dream and can remember something vaguely, but you're not sure?" I looked to her for a response. Ginny nodded. "But, I don't say anything because I don't know what they mean. They're just a sense of….something."
"Just talk to her Ron. She still needs you, you know. I think she just needs to know that you're really where you want to be right now. That you do want to be with her. She's so worried of doing something wrong or saying the wrong thing and you'll leave her life again."
"I'm not going anywhere!" I replied adamantly and folded my arms. "Bloody woman is stuck with me now!"
"Tell her that.. She'll be thrilled to hear it." Gnny patted my knee.
I nodded silently, taking another mouthful of the amber liquid, never quite prepared for the burn each time.
"Have you ever apologised to her?" Ginny suddenly asked.
"Huh?" I swallowed quickly.
"Just, last weekend, you were talking about how Rose took awhile to come around. But then after you apologised to her and assured her you weren't leaving her again, you said she's been fine with you since. Well, maybe Hermione needs to hear the same thing. I know it wasn't your fault, but damnit, putting her through hell, and that's an understatement, these last two years wasn't her fault either."
I thought about that quietly for a few minutes, drinking the fire whiskey as I gazed up at the stars. I used to do that a lot back at the farm. Sit alone outside or on the beach and just gaze at the stars, wondering if there was a life missing me out there, thinking of strange dreams I'd had about flying horses, mixing potions and a rather bushy haired little girl. Bloody hell, had I remembered her before I even knew I'd remembered her?
"Yeah," I nodded. "I will. I'll talk to her."
"I'd just give her some time to calm down first," Ginny supplied.
I sighed and finished my drink. That was probably wise advice. "So, what happened after I ran out?" I wondered, looking towards the house. All the lights were still blazing, but it seemed quieter.
"Well," Ginny inhaled deeply. "Once I calmed Mum down and stopped her running out here after you, I think the party was kind of wrapping up. People were making their excuses to go home and stuff."
"Great. I ruined that too," I sighed and banged my head lightly against the wall. "I bet everyone thinks I'm a right bloody nutcase!" I rolled my eyes.
"No, they don't." She turned and touched my arm. "Don't worry, we all knew this party was a mistake, we could see you were uncomfortable with it all. They understand, honestly. They're your family, your brothers, for all their teasing banter, they just love you. All of us do." She confessed quietly. "I missed you, you know."
I smiled at her, feeling rather bashful about that. "Thanks," I mumbled.
"It's just you and I, we were closest in age…the youngest. So when everyone had gone off to school, it was just the pair of us for a couple of years. Until you left me for school too. I was so jealous, I didn't want to be alone." She sulked at her memory. "I remember the day Mum made you pack your trunk, couple of days before you left," she giggled to herself. "I'd hidden your school robes because I didn't want you to go. Mum was so mad with you, she thought you'd thrown them away because they were Charlie's hand-me-downs and she'd spent hours taking them up for you." She laughed.
"Thanks for that," I muttered, but laughed as well. "Getting me into trouble."
"You're welcome." She grinned at me. "But, yeah, we've always been pretty close."
I nodded again, not knowing how to answer that. "Sorry I left you, you know. I mean, not just to go to school. I hate that this happened, hate that my head is screwed up." I slapped my own head a couple of times, as though I could make it work again, that a blow would unscramble all the memories and they'd fall back into their correct place. Of course it didn't work and I just managed to bring on the headache that had been coming on for the past hour.
"I know," she whispered. "Oh," she suddenly remembered something. "Bill said to tell you you can go visit any time, whenever you're ready." She seemed glad she had something to change the subject with.
"Bill, right…" I nodded. "He's the eldest, married to Fleur, right?" I checked and then my eyes widened as an image suddenly popped into my head. "Oh bloody hell….bloody fuckering hell…" I mumbled as I felt the tell tale tingle that my skin was flushing bright red.
"What? Ron? What's wrong?" Ginny panicked and got up on her knees to face me. "Ron?" She looked worried, my face must have been a picture.
I shook my head, trying to dislodge the image. "I had a bloody crush on my sister-in-law!" I gasped, mortified. "I asked her out?" I yelped.
Ginny laughed, real deep belly laughs and rolled off her knees into the grass.
"It's not funny!" I hissed and threw a handful of grass I'd ripped up at her.
"No…it's hilarious." She continued laughing. "I remember when you asked her out. You screamed at her!" She burst into more giggles. "Should have seen your face! And hers, she looked terrified!"
"I can't believe I crushed on my own sister-in-law," I covered my face with my hands and slowly shook my head.
"Well, to be fair," Ginny gasped after her giggles. "She wasn't your sister-in-law at the time. Don't think Bill had even met her yet, so she was fair game," she giggled once. "And she is part veela…takes a strong man to control himself around her you know."
"That's just humiliating," I muttered to myself.
Ginny laughed and nudged my leg with her foot from where she lay in the grass. "She's never held it against you. Don't worry."
Ginny just lay in the grass for awhile, occasional little bubbles of giggles bursting out every so often – I suspected that had more to do with the alcohol than my personal humiliation. Or at least I hoped so. As silence followed, I looked up at the stars and wondered what Hermione was doing now. I hoped she wasn't crying, but she probably was. I just seemed to make her cry – heck knows why Ginny thought she was happier with me here. In fact I just seemed to make everyone cry, my mother included. As though reading my mind, Ginny suddenly spoke up.
"I reckon everyone would have gone now. Fancy going back inside?" She looked at me, one eyebrow raised quizzically.
"Oh, erm…I," I stammered. I hadn't considered going back in. But then I hadn't really considered doing much other than sitting here. I liked sitting out here with my sister.
"Come on," she urged and sat up. "It will just be Mum and Dad now. Well, and Harry's waiting for me, or he'd better be," she frowned. "Oh, and I think Charlie is staying over with them, but he'll be discreet if you want him to go." She rambled on.
"I dunno..." I hesitated.
"Well, you can't sit out here all night. If we go in now, we can have some tea and just sit and talk, all relaxed, the way tonight was supposed to be. Oh, come on Ron…I want to go in now," she whined at me. "Besides, there's loads of food left," she tried to tempt me.
I sighed, knowing I was defeated. "Well, I am hungry," I huffed and pushed myself off the wall of the shed as I got up, grabbing the bottle of Firewhiskey and glasses on my way.
"Great!" She jumped to her feet. "Because I really need to pee!" She laughed over her shoulder, already running towards the house.
I followed after her, slowly, taking my time and watching my feet. Maybe I shouldn't have drunk so much of that firewhiskey – I felt a tad wobbly. The back door was open when I approached, I caught sight of Ginny racing up the stairs to the bathroom. I took a deep breath and then climbed the two steps into the kitchen.
Dad was stood at the sink, supervising the washing up and filling the kettle. He simply smiled at me and held up a mug, asking silently it I'd like a drink. I nodded and offered him a smile back. Charlie wandered in, his arms laden with plates full of left over food. "I think that's the last of it Dad," he muttered, setting it all down on the table. "Want me to put it away?"
"Your brother might be hungry?" Dad turned towards me.
I eyed the plates of food hungrily, feeling as though my mouth was salivating. "Starving," I muttered. Dad chuckled, handed me a plate and I loaded it up with all my favourites.
"Well, if no one minds, I'm going to head to bed. I had an early start," Charlie stretched his arms above his head.
"Go get some sleep," Dad smiled at him. "Say goodnight to your Mum though," he reminded him. I wondered if all of us were still treated like kids by our parents. Maybe that's what parents did, to them we'd always be their children. How would I behave once Hugo and Rosie were grown and had left home? Suddenly the thought of Rose and a boyfriend made my stomach recoil – that wasn't going to happen for a very long. A very, very long time, I vowed to myself.
I'd just taken a bite of a pumpkin pasty when Charlie threw his burly arms around me. "Great to see you little bro," he muttered, then backed off, patted my shoulder twice and headed to the lounge where I guessed Mum was.
"That's better," Ginny grinned brightly, returning to the kitchen. "Knew you were hungry!" she laughed at my loaded plate. "Want me to make tea Dad?" she asked him.
"Already got the kettle on sweetheart," he smiled at his only daughter.
Somehow once the tea was made, I found myself being shuffled into the lounge along with the tray, still eating my plate of food. Mum was sat in there, speaking quietly with Harry and pouring over an old photo album. When we came in, the album was quickly snapped shut and set aside. "Ron," she smiled at me. Her eyes looked a little red and puffy and I felt like a dick for having made her cry – again! I smiled back as I sat down on the edge of a chair and, whilst finishing my mouthful, set my almost empty plate on the coffee table.
"I'm sorry…"
"I'm sorry..."
We both spoke at the same time. Mum looked up and our eyes met and we both chuckled lightly, until I waved for her to go on.
"I just…well, I'm sorry about this party. It was a mistake, I see that now and I should have listened to Ginny. I just, I got carried away with it and I know it was uncomfortable for you. I am sorry Ron, I never wanted to make you feel like that."
I shrugged, a little embarrassed. "It's okay," I mumbled. "I mean, I know you meant well." She nodded in affirmation. "But I'm sorry I ran out and caused a scene and made everyone leave. I just, I…"
"It doesn't matter love," she smiled at me and began pouring the tea.
"Whilst we're apologising…I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for the last couple of years as well. For everything you all went through, because of me," I mumbled. I might as well get all these apologies out of the way. Why not apologise to them all?
"Oh Ron…" she gasped.
"Son, none of that was your fault. You know that, right?" Dad looked at me, a little surprised. His spectacles having slipped to the end of his nose.
"I know, but," I shrugged. "I just, I want you to know I've hated these two years without you all too, wondering if anyone out there was missing me. Thinking I was alone. And I hate that I can't remember stuff." I looked up then, dismayed to see my Mum crying again
"Ronnie," she shook her head and I froze, thinking we were about to have a repeat performance of what had happened earlier up in my old room. She sniffed then and wiped her eyes on a handkerchief. "You have nothing to apologise for my love. Nothing. We're just glad you're okay and you're here. That's all that matters now, right Arthur?" She looked to my Dad.
"Of course." He beamed at me. "Having you home is all that matters now," he added and handed me a cup of tea.
I took a deep, steady breath and relaxed into the chair a little with my tea. This was okay. This was actually, fairly nice. Just to sit and talk and be with my parents. It was strange, although I didn't really have any firm recollections of them, I just knew they were my Mum and Dad. I think I would have known even if no one had told me. There was a familiar comfort about them, a sense that they weren't just anybody. The same sense I got around Hermione I realised. I wondered again what she was doing. Would she be mad I hadn't gone after her? Should I try to find her? I hated to think of her being upset. And especially because of me.
"Where did Hermione go?" Harry suddenly asked me.
I saw Ginny elbow him out the corner of my eye and I hid a smirk. "She went to check on the kids," she answered for me. Harry looked confused, but said no more about it as he rubbed the side of his chest.
"Are they okay?" Mum asked, concerned.
"I'm sure they're fine." I smiled at her.
"Mum, do you have any more of that apple tart? That was delicious," Ginny asked, changing the subject. "Could just eat another slice."
"Yes, yes…there should be some in the kitchen. We have plenty of left over's." Mum bustled about then, fixing Ginny a slice of pie and insisting on making me something fresh to eat. I wasn't going to argue over a nice hot bacon sandwich.
"Sorry," Harry grimaced in a whisper. "Asking about Hermione like that. I erm, didn't think. She'll be alright you know. Let her cool off and you'll be fine tomorrow." He added knowingly. I began to wonder if this was normal for us – the arguments and the storming off. I really didn't know what kind of relationship we had or what kind of husband I'd been. I assumed she'd been happy with me, she'd obviously had a tough time losing me, but that didn't mean much. People tended to become heroes after death.
Mum came back in with a tray full of fresh tea and enough food to feed an army, I smiled appreciatively at her. The tea flowed as easily as the conversation after awhile, asking me what life had been like on the farm, what I'd been up to all this time and how I'd been. This was how tonight should have been, just forget the first half of the night and concentrate on this. Well, I'd do a better job if Hermione had been at my side.
Dad grew excited when he realised I had been living as a Muggle for the last couple of years and asked dozens of questions about traffic lights, televisions, farm tractors and how many plugs we'd had at the farm house. I smiled indulgently as I told him everything he wanted to know. But he was definitely the only one enthralled by my in-depth descriptions of how we'd milked the cows with the aid of electricity. Well, he had asked and it made me smile to see his smile grow wider and his eyes sparkle at my explanations.
"You and those blasted Muggle plugs," Mum rolled her eyes at him. And I had a strange recollection that my Dad had actually collected plugs and was fascinated with the Muggle world.
After awhile, Ginny and Harry began to make their excuses. Saying they should get home to relieve the babysitter.
"You should have brought the children with you," Mum told Ginny.
"I know, we didn't realise the other kids would be here though," she sighed. I figured she'd probably told Mum this a couple of times before. "Besides, they're fine with Andromeda, she loves having them and Teddy likes having some playmates."
"Andromeda?" I asked, frowning at the name. "Sounds like one of them Muggle science fictions films I saw advertised in a Muggle newspaper."
"Ooh, what are science fiction films?" Dad asked, his eyes lighting up with interest.
"Not now Dad," Ginny hissed at him. "Do you remember her Ron?" She then asked me. "Andromeda Tonks, she is the late Nymphadora Tonks' mother and Teddy is her Grandson, who is also Harry's Godson." She elaborated.
I shook my head sadly, I didn't recognise any of those names, as weird and unusual as they were. But I found myself feeling a little smug that either Hermione or I had had sense to give our kids normal sounding names.
"Oh, well, you'll probably meet her soon. And Teddy of course, he's often at our house," she smiled at Harry. Funny that she hadn't mentioned me meeting the other girl, something…dora, I mused silently.
"So, what are these sense friction films all about?" Dad asked me again, leaning forward eagerly. Mum nudged him and then gave him a scowl and he sat back in his seat, rather put out. I smiled at his mispronunciation and promised myself I'd tell him what I knew about them when we got a chance.
"So, what do you want to do now?" Ginny was asking me as she stood and Harry went to collect their cloaks. "I mean, if you don't want to go home alone, you're welcome to come back with us?"
"Well, he's very welcome to stay here too," Mum added, affronted that she shouldn't be a first choice.
"Of course," Ginny smiled patiently, taking her cloak from Harry and draping it across her shoulders.
"Isn't Hermione at home then?" Dad wondered. "I thought she'd gone to fetch the kids from her parents or something?"
I sighed. "We had a bit of a row, she went to her parents for the night," I confessed.
"Oh…right," he nodded with a knowing smirk. "Well, like your mother said, you are more than welcome to stay here,"
"She'll be fine in the morning," I muttered, as though Dad hadn't said anything. I hoped I was right about that. But both Ginny and Harry had told me to just let her calm down.
In the end, I agreed to stay the night at my parents, up in my old room. I just couldn't disappoint the hopeful look on my Mother's face and I hoped that maybe by staying with my mum and dad, Hermione wouldn't mind so much that I hadn't raced after her – not that I even knew where to disapparate to. She might even be glad I'd spent the night with my parents.
Mum was already making plans for breakfast when she led me upstairs to my old room, insisting on changing the bedding for fresh sheets and finding a pair of my Dad's pyjamas for me to wear. I found her fussing somewhat comforting, it felt nice to be Mothered a bit, at least when she wasn't crying. I realised then why I'd been so attached to Mildred – she'd reminded me of my Mum. For the first time in a few days, I thought of the Bridges with fondness. I should write to them and let them know how things were going I decided as I slipped between the sheets of my old childhood bed.
I woke, staring up at the wooden beams on the ceiling above my bed. Briefly I wondered what time it was and tried to determine whether it was my turn to milk the cows today or not. But mostly my thoughts were filled of the incredible dream I'd been having. Long and incredibly detailed. Dreams of a family, parents, siblings and delightful children of my own. And a wife, a wife who loved me. I sighed wistfully to myself, wishing that they were all real and physically aching for what I assumed were figments of my imagination.
Rolling to my side, I caught sight of a bright orange poster on the wall, it even appeared to be moving. I frowned at it for a moment, wondering where it had come from and then rubbed at my eyes. It was still there. As were stickers of the same bright shade covering the walls, and, since when had the window been on that side of the room? Sitting up abruptly, I glanced around the room and a smile grew on my face.
I wasn't at the farm. I was home. My childhood home, in my old bed. Those people I'd dreamt about, every single one of them was very real. I had a family. I had brothers and a sister, a Mum and Dad. And amazingly enough those kids really were mine. And my beautiful wife. Damnit! Hermione, she was upset with me, we'd fought and she'd gone off to her parents. I lay back down in the bed, trying to figure out how I was going to resolve that. I had to apologise and let her know how important she was to me. And I was going to try harder to remember something about us, something important and special.
The smell of bacon wafted up the stairs then and I swung my legs over the side of the bed, suddenly eager to see my parents again. Just to check they really were real. And then I remembered the actual dream I'd had. Or more likely a memory. My Mum, I'd remembered something about my mum. And my dad had been there too. Instinctively I knew it was real, that it had happened in reality and not just in my head. I sprang off the bed to get dressed, excited to tell her, to share my memory of them. I just hoped Mum wouldn't cry again.
"Morning love," Mum smiled softly at me, turning from the stove and sending a platter of sausages and bacon levitating to the table. "Did you sleep well?" she asked, kindly.
"Great," I smiled. I honestly had. "Thanks for letting me stay." I then muttered, hovering awkwardly in the kitchen.
"Oh," she seemed surprised. "You're welcome here any time love, this is still your home too."
"Your mother's right." Dad walked in and clapped his hand on my shoulder, "It's wonderful to have you here." He beamed and then sat at the table with a copy of that mornings Daily Prophet.
"Well, thanks." I muttered again, eyeing all the food Mum was laying out on the table – bacon, fried eggs, grilled tomatoes, sausages, grilled mushrooms, as well as toast and jam.
"Don't be shy love, sit down and help yourself. I hope your hungry." Mum pointed her wand at the sink and the pans started to wash.
"Starving," I muttered and took a seat as she passed me a plate. I began loading it up.
"Nothings changed there," she chuckled lightly and tussled my hair lovingly.
"Yes…it's nice to have you here so I can eat all this. Your Mother doesn't cook like this for me every morning." Dad laughed, helping himself to food as well as peering at the paper laid beside him.
Mum set a teapot on the table as well as a jug of pumpkin juice before she joined us. Just as we all began to tuck in, Charlie ambled down the stairs, yawning as he stretched his arms above his head. He sat down sleepily at the table, poured himself a cup of tea, took a sip and then looked to his left.
"Ron, you're still here!" He gasped in surprise.
"Were you expecting me to disappear again?" I laughed nervously
"Well, no, but.." He stammered.
"I just stayed over for the night." I patted his back.
"Brilliant," he grinned and took a piece of toast, beginning to slather it in butter.
"Mum…" I began, once I was half way through the mound of food on my plate. Mum kept insisting I took more. "I...I had a dream last night," I added. "Well…they're more than dreams, they're kind of memories that come to me in my sleep. Hermione explained it all to me, something about my unconscious being relaxed and…" I rambled, but then looked up as they were all waiting anxiously for me to get on with the memory. "Oh, sorry."
"So, what was it?" She asked, trying not to sound too eager, but obviously she was hopeful.
"You and Dad," I replied. Mum gasped, clutching her hand to her chest. "I was at Ollivanders, getting my wand, so I must have been 11. And you were both there and looked so happy, then you hugged me and said something about looking after it this time. I was absolutely thrilled with it, I remember I kept sneaking glances at it in the box. Then you gave me a couple of coins and told me to have fun and…Oh! I met with Hermione." I grinned at my realisation. "We went shopping together," I remembered fondly.
"Ron," Mum sighed, smiling fondly, the sparkle of tears evident in her eyes. She was obviously touched, but thankfully not the emotional mess I had been afraid of. "Yes, that all happened. I remember that day. Only, you weren't 11 sweetheart. You were 13 when you got your first new wand." She confessed.
"What?" I dropped a sausage from my fork. "But…how? I started Hogwarts at 11, didn't I?" I remembered being there, Harry and Hermione had told me about my first year with them.
"Yes. You did love. But, when you first started…you had Charlie's old wand," she nodded towards my brother.
"Bought myself a new one when I got the job with the dragons," he muttered through a mouthful of toast. "Needed something a bit sturdier to last out there," he explained.
"You see," Mum looked to my Dad a little embarrassed. "We didn't have much money then, what with seven children and all…and, well, a lot of things had to be hand-me-downs I'm afraid. You weren't very thrilled, you'd been excited about getting your first wand. Anyway, you managed to break it in your second year. It never worked very well after that. And then we won some money in a competition in the Daily Prophet, so we bought you a new one before your third year started."
I munched on a slice of toast as she told me all this, a strange image had popped into my head when she said I'd broken it and I was trying to work out what it was. "The car," I suddenly muttered. "A flying car! I broke it then?" I looked up.
"Yes, you did," she frowned at me. I don't think I had been forgiven for that one. "Flying that blasted thing of your Father's to Hogwarts, I don't know." She shook her head and glared at my Dad as though it was his fault. He lowered his head behind his newspaper, hoping she'd not notice.
"Yeah…sorry," I muttered, but I was thrilled I'd had another memory. "Harry and I flew it, didn't we? Couldn't get through the barrier at Kings Cross?" I remembered.
"That's right." Her smile returned, coming to the same conclusion that I had and was just glad I'd had another memory. "Oh, Ron….it's all coming back, isn't it?" She beamed at me and looked as though she wanted to hug me again.
I nodded. "Slowly, in little bits here and there."
"You'll get there son." Dad was smiling too, his newspaper now all but forgotten.
"I've been wondering something." Charlie spoke up, making himself a sausage butty with the toast. "Ginny said something about you being really worried about seeing us all and how she had to talk you into it. I mean, I know it's probably been a bit weird, but…we're just your family." He frowned, now squeezing sauce onto his sandwich. "So, why the nerves?" he raised one eyebrow at me and took a bite of his sandwich.
I sighed, knowing I should have expected this. I pushed away my now empty plate, rubbing my very satisfied stomach. "It's just…it's a little unnerving, the thought of being around you all, you knowing all about me, having memories of me and me not really knowing you at all," I confessed.
"Yeah, but you must have known we'd never hurt you or anything? You're our brother." He still couldn't understand. "And why did you run out on Mum last night?"
"Charlie," Mum started to remonstrate him. Obviously she had forgiven me for that and didn't feel the need to bring it up again.
I poured myself another cup of tea as I carefully decided how to explain it. "Because. Well, I was afraid of being a huge disappointment to you all…"
"Oh Ronnie," Mum interrupted, a tender, motherly expression on her face.
"No, let me explain," I waved away her concern. "I know you've all been, well, excited by my return, Hermione told me that. And, I suppose you all had high expectations, you were getting your brother back, your son…and yet, I'm not the same person any more. I'm not the man you knew. I didn't want to let you down."
"That's just silly," Mum looked affronted. "Of course you're the same person, you'll always be my son, the same little boy I loved from the moment you were born."
"Thanks, I appreciate that," I patted her hand. "But, I'm not really the way you remember me."
"But you are," Dad spoke up. "Granted, you may have changed physically a little over the last two years, but we all do as we're getting older," he quipped. "But, your mannerisms are the same. The words you use are the same, you have lost your accent a little, but you sound the same to me. And, your appetite is still exactly the same," he chuckled. "You're not as different as you think you are son. You probably don't remember the man you were either, we do. You're our son, just the same."
"And my daft kid brother!" Charlie grinned and messed up my hair.
"Besides, you could never be a disappointment to me Ronnie," Mum sighed and got up, she hugged me from behind then, her arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my head. "I'm so proud of you," she whispered and bustled off to refresh the teapot. I caught her dab at her eyes with the tea towel.
"Oh," I muttered, not knowing what else to say. I felt a little overcome with emotion.
"So," Charlie reached over and patted my shoulder. "All that worry for nothing really," he laughed, using humour to diffuse the tension.
"Yeah," I gave a half chuckle
"Anyway, what are your plans for the day?" Dad asked me, folding his newspaper and checking his watch. I wondered if he had to get to work, that is if he was still working these days. "I'm sure your Mum would love to have you around the house for the day," he smiled at his wife. She turned and beamed across the table.
"Erm…actually, I really wanted to get home," I muttered, casting another furtive glance at the clock in the corner, the way I had been doing the last half an hour. "You know, I wanted to get back before Hermione."
"Oh, yes. Of course," Mum nodded, but I could tell she was disappointed.
"Say, where is my favourite sister-in-law?" Charlie only just noticed she was missing.
"She erm, she…went to her parents last night. After we had a fight," I admitted quietly.
Charlie laughed. "There'll be fireworks at your place tonight then!"
"Huh?" I looked at him dumbly.
"Well, I've always thought, if you two make up in the same intense way you fight, there must be some damn good sparks in the bedroom!" He roared with laughter again.
"Charles Fabien Weasley!" Mum gasped as she admonished him. Meanwhile I felt the tips of my ears heating up. The mere thought of being intimate with Hermione, it…well, it had an effect on me I had no right in feeling.
"Do we…fight a lot then?" I muttered. Somehow I'd got the sense that we did.
He shrugged. "Not as much as when you were kids apparently. But, yeah, you have your little spats. And then you make up and you're all nauseating again." He pretended to be sick.
"Charlie, you leave your brother alone. Your marriage with Hermione is just fine love. It's healthy to have a few rows. So long as you make up and apologise. So, I can understand the need for you to get home." She confessed, although she still looked sad at the prospect of my leaving. I could tell she was in her element having two of her sons home to fuss over.
"Thanks Mum," I smiled appreciatively at her. "I'll come back and see you soon though. Or…maybe we could have you and dad over for dinner one night?" I wondered, hoping Hermione wouldn't mind me inviting them.
"That sounds delightful," Dad agreed, looking to Molly who was nodding enthusiastically.
"I'll check with Hermione and make a date then?" I asked, getting up from the table as they both nodded. "Charlie, how long you staying around for?" I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets. I'd heard he didn't come home too often, work kept him busy in Romania.
"Oh. I'm here for a couple of weeks actually. Sorry to burst your bubble little brother, but I didn't come home just to see you." He ruffled my hair up again. Why did it always make me feel about five years old when they did that? "Nah, there's a bit of a dragon situation in Wales, I've been asked to sort it out."
"Oh, right," I nodded, wondering what kind of situation and whether we should worry. "Well, make sure you come and visit Hugo while you're here. He' d love to see you."
"I wouldn't miss it," he grinned. "That little rug rat of yours is my most captive audience for my dragon tales. My only audience actually," he corrected himself with a wry grin. "I'll come over in a couple of days, let the fireworks die down first." He smirked and then ducked as I went to swipe him.
"Boys," Mum shook her head, but her smile lit up her face. It was obvious she loved having us home. I felt guilty for not coming to see her sooner. But, I'd make it up to her and visit more often from now on.
"Right, well I should go," I made a step towards the fireplace.
"Yes, and I should get to work." Dad got up and collected the lunch tin my Mum had been filling for him. He kissed her cheek as he did and gave her a quick hug. "I'll see you later, love," he kissed her again. "Ron," he clapped his hands on both shoulders. "It has been wonderful having you home," he hugged me. "And we'll see you for dinner, soon, right?" he checked, holding me again at arms length.
I nodded. "Yes. As soon as I check with Hermione."
"Can't upset the wifey," Charlie muttered under his breath.
Mum smacked the back of his head with Dad's newspaper she'd removed from the table as she bustled over to give me a hug. Dad laughed, waved and then left in a waft of green flames and smoke. "Now," she began, straightening the collar of my shirt. "Make sure you come and see us soon. You're welcome here any time, just drop in whenever you like."
"I will," I nodded. "And I'll send the owl with a day for dinner."
"Good, good. I shall look forward to that. Give Hermione my best…and I hope you sort things out." she continued, and I knew she was stalling to say goodbye. "And give my grandchildren a kiss."
"I will, but I really should go. I want to get home before she does," I checked the time again, noting the children would probably still be dawdling over breakfast if they were up yet. It was strange to think how familiar I was becoming with all their habits so quickly. And even stranger to realise that that house really was home to me now. If anyone asked me where home was, that would be the address I gave these days.
"Yes, yes. Of course." She fussed with my hair then, flattening it out from where Charlie had ruffled it. "Thank you so much for coming," she pulled me to her and hugged me tightly. "I am so, so happy to have you back," she squeezed me and backed off. There was the threat of tears in her eyes again.
"I promise, I'll come back soon, in a day or two," I assured her I wasn't walking out of her life again.
She nodded, kissed my cheek, stroked my hair down again and gave me another brief hug before she finally let me go and I climbed into the fireplace.
"See you soon Mum. Later Charlie!" I called, before announcing my intended destination and leaving in a shower of green sparks myself.
I was relieved to find the house still in silence when I arrived home. There was no evidence that they were home yet. I decided to dart upstairs to shower and change quickly, aware that there was very probably a spell to transfigure my appearance, but I wanted to make the physical effort. Besides, I wasn't sure on the spell. Wouldn't help my case much if I managed to turn myself yellow and dress myself in my mother's clothes or something, would it?
I wandered back into the lounge, buttoning up my flannel shirt and trying to dry my hair when I heard noises outside. I suddenly wondered how Hermione transported the kids to her parents – they were too young to apparate and her parents weren't connected to the floo network. I hadn't thought to ask last night, I suppose I really should find out.
Loud, high pitched chatter grew closer and then the sound of the tumblers in the lock falling into place as the charm was cast upon it. The kids spilled inside the house as soon as the door opened, followed by their Mum laden down with their bags. They were about to rush to their boxes of toys, when they spotted me sat on the sofa.
"Daddy!" They both squealed and fought each other to get to me first. I hugged them both and kissed the tops of their heads. It had barely been 24 hours, but I had missed them so much. How had we all survived almost 21 months without each other? "We missed you!" Rosie beamed.
"Yeah, miss you!" Hugo repeated, laying his head on my shoulder.
"Why didn't you come with Mummy?" she wondered, looking up at me curiously.
"Erm, well," I glanced up at Hermione who was hovering silently by the door. Her face was giving nothing away, though she looked tired. "I stayed with your Grandma and Granddad Weasley last night. My Mum and Dad," I explained. "They hadn't seen me for a long time." I added, hoping that was reason enough for my daughter. She nodded and smiled as Hugo tried to crawl into my lap, babbling on once more about a dragon. "Did you have a nice time with your other grandparents?" I asked, noting that Hermione hadn't moved.
"Yeah!" Hugo gasped. "Nana did let me watch dwagons on the telly!" His eyes widened.
"She did huh?" I smiled, trying to share his enthusiasm. It amused me that my children were being raised with Muggle knowledge and techonology, even though they were half bloods.
"It was boring," Rosie rolled her eyes and I had to bite back a laugh at her expression.
"Well, perhaps next time you'll be able to watch something you like," I suggested.
"I like Tinker Bell." She told me, her face lighting up. When I frowned in confusion, she continued. "She's a fairy, and she…"
"We go play now?" Hugo butted in, tugging on my hand to get me to follow him.
"Actually…do you think you could give me and Mummy a few minutes alone?" I asked. "We need to talk, boring grown up stuff," I whispered. "Rose, why don't you take your brother outside and I'll come play with you in just a few minutes?" I requested hopefully, my eyes on Hermione.
"Okay," she huffed, displeased by my request, but obeying all the same. "Come on you." She took her brothers hand and led him from the room.
"I'll be there in a few minutes!" I promised, standing from the sofa and moving towards Hermione. "Hey," I offered pathetically after a few short moments of silence.
She raised her eyebrows, as though asking me if that was the best I could do. The back door closed with a slam then, the kids never did seem able to close doors quietly. Hermione waited for me to say something else, I waited for her to say something, and when nothing came from either of us, she sighed and bent to gather up the kids bags she'd dumped at her feet.
"Hermione, I'm sorry," I blurted out before she could climb the stairs. "I am so, so sorry," I repeated slower. "Please, can we talk? In here?" I nodded my head back to the lounge.
"I suppose," she sighed and followed me through, taking a seat in the armchair. I perched on the edge of the sofa, facing her.
"I hated fighting with you last night." I confessed.
"It's not something I particularly enjoy," she practically snapped.
"I know," I sighed and hung my head. "But, you were right. I was being pathetic last night. They are just my family and they love me." I shrugged sheepishly. "And, I've been a complete idiot and somewhat selfish about a lot of things. And I do know it's been really hard for you too, I never meant it to sound like I thought you had it easy. I just, I suppose I never realised how much you went through or what it was really like for you. I don't remember losing someone close to me. And, well," I sighed, wishing she would say something, anything. But, I was grateful she was at least listening to me. "I'm really sorry that I didn't consider that more, that I've never really thought much about it or tried to understand."
"I appreciate that," she replied quietly. "And I apologise for yelling at you and...for storming off last night. It was rather childish of me."
I shrugged. "S'okay," I muttered. "I was being pretty childish myself." I admitted.
She smiled at me and I hoped we'd be okay now we'd cleared the air. Or, we'd at least be a bit better - we'd each apologised at least, it was a start. "You stayed with your mum and dad last night then?" She'd obviously heard me telling the kids.
"Yeah. Ginny and I talked a lot too, she made me see sense actually. And then she got me to go back inside. Mostly everyone had gone, apart from Charlie and Harry. And, we talked...it was actually nice." I smiled at her. "I liked being with them." I added.
"I'm glad," she smiled "And, I'm glad that you're here. I'd been so worried you'd go home."
"I am home," I replied, confused by her choice of words. I frowned at her.
"I meant the farm. I'm glad you didn't run off back there, after what I said." She explained, though there was the hint of a smile on her face and I knew my referring to here as my home had pleased her.
I shrugged. "This is where I belong." And I realised it was true. I belonged here. I had a family and somehow, I fit in. "I belong here, with you and the kids. And...I promise I'm going to work harder to remember us, to remember the special times. Because I really do want it back Hermione, I do."
Her smile grew and her stance relaxed some. "Thank you," she whispered, sniffing slightly.
There were dozens of other things I wanted to tell her about, things I want to talk about with her. Inviting Mum and Dad to dinner. Charlie coming over. Remembering my embarrassment over Fleur. My dreams and memories of my parents in Diagon Alley and shopping with her. The playful banter I had enjoyed with Charlie this morning and how when I woke this morning and for those few agonizing seconds where I'd thought she'd just been a dream, how very much I had missed her.
But, there would be time for that later. For now, we were okay. We were talking again and had cleared the air and that was all that mattered. I was already trying to come up with ways that might help me remember special moments between us and our entire relationship. I was more determined than ever that I was going to remember my wife and the life we shared. But, right now nothing was more pressing than keeping my promise to our kids and going outside to play with them.
"Come on," I stood and nodded my head towards the kitchen. "'Lets go join the kids." I smiled as she stood to join me and we went in search of Hugo and Rose.
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