hheeeyyyyy. I hope you guys are enjoying this so far. Thank you so much for the lovely response. I hope you guys enjoy this angsty chapter lol. Let me know what u think. Love u alll xDD
Felicity had no clue as to how long she had been in this place but it must have been a long while. Her stomach was starting to grumble and she realized that she most likely missed a delicious meal. Oh well; these babies clearly needed more attention and she was definitely willing to skip a meal for them.
She had been bored out of her mind after they came back from shopping. Thea had been tired, Digg and Roy were needed elsewhere, Raisa was teaching her mother how to use a kitchen (which she was pretty sure was impossible), and Sara and Nyssa were out.
She was bored out of her mind. She wanted to go and find Oliver. She wanted to see him which she found really odd; but for some reason she just needed too. She missed his presence.
She realized that she didn't want to walk in on a meeting with Oliver given his last reaction; so she had decided to wander around.
The mansion or castle was incredibly gorgeous. The hallways were bordered with rich wooden walls and gold crown moulding. Each wall was decorated with paintings that most likely cost thousands of dollars, it was amazing. There was also so many rooms that were all lavishly decorated and each room seemed to carry a different emotion.
They even had a library filled to its capacity with books and she knew she would spend days in there.
It would probably take days to fully explore the mansion but she seemed to have a lot of time, thanks to caveman Oliver.
She had been walking deep inside of the house and saw that a door had been left open; and she found that inside of that doorway led to large amounts of tech and computers. She literally squealed with joy and ran in.
These were some of the newest softwares and prototypes. Oh my it was too good to be true. There were numerous amount of monitors around the room and little gadgets all around.
It was heaven. She immediately closed the door without even thinking and jumped on the computer in seconds. She wanted to see what these babies could do.
She proceeded to check the system and immediately cried out. "What are they doing to you?"
This was the shittiest system that she'd ever seen. It would be no surprise if someone ended up overriding their security system without them even knowing it. She, in her amateur days could have got into this in seconds. "Oh my poor babies. What do Oliver and his stupid men think they're doing to you? I'll protect you now." She cooed at them.
She didn't even realize how fast the time flew by. But she was so close to finishing just one more until everything would be fully updated and secured. Once the update was complete she knew that this would definitely be useful in her search for her father.
She'd have to ask Oliver about this room.
All of a sudden she heard the door burst open and she jumped and screamed. What the hell was going on? The man had a gun out.
Oh my God. Wait. "Diggle?"
"Felicity," he sounded breathless and relieved, "oh thank God."
She saw him press his fingers to his ear, "yeah Oliver, I found her in the security room, she's safe."
Okay what the flip. "Digg, what's going on?" She asked confused and trying to calm her heart down from her minor heart attack.
"I'm so happy you're okay," he smiled. "Oliver couldn't find you and he thought something had happened. He had the men searching the house and the grounds".
"What!?" He just sent out a search team. "Are you serious?"
He looked serious.
"Oliver's on his way so I suggest you buckle up because this might not be pretty."
"Uhmmm okay?," she replied. What? "Digg wh-"
She was interrupted by pounding of Oliver's footsteps and the sound of her name being called. "Felicity"
Wait. Why did he sound like that? He sounded terrified. Like a wounded animal.
She saw him enter the room and the look he gave her she just couldn't explain.
He ate up the space between them quickly and pulled her in his arms holding onto her tightly.
She saw Digg at the corner of her eyes and he mumbled a quick "I'll just leave you two alone."
Oliver pulled her closer burying his hand in her hair as he pulled her tightly to his chest.
Her shock of Oliver's actions quickly passed and she soon returned his hug.
The feel of his arms around her, of his body against her; it was too much. She had never felt so safe, so protected in all her life. It felt too right. His strong arms were like bands of steel around her not willing to let anything touch her.
The height difference between them was incredibly large, she reached just a little above his chest with flats on; but it only made her feel safer in his arms.
"Oliver," she whispered after what felt like hours but was only really a few minutes. "What's wrong?"
She could hear his heart beating wildly and she tried to soothe his tenseness by rubbing her hand up and down his back.
She pulled away looking at him. Looking for answers. He finally met her gaze and she was shocked to see the fear, pain, and anger in his gaze.
He closed his eyes and willed himself to breathe through his nose. He needed to calm down.
"Tell me," she spoke softly.
"I couldn't find you!...I thought... I thought someone had come in somehow...I couldn't find you." He looked at her wildly and banded his arms tighter around her.
She needed to help him relax. His body was so tense and tight.
She cupped his cheek with one of her hands and she used the other to rub her fingers through his hair. "Oliver, I'm fine. I'm here. Safe. With you." She told him.
He leaned into her soothing touch, listening to her until he could relax and believe that nothing bad happened. That the world did not decide to strike at him again.
He suddenly pulled away and looked at her. "What were you doing here?" He asked his face turning stony and distant. Oh crap. His fear was turning into anger. Shit. This is what Digg was talking about.
"I was bored and I happened to stumble upon this room and I had to fix these babies, and I ended up getting lost in this room trying to update your system and your security, and really Oliver. Do you want me to smack you for keeping these babies so unprotected and uncared for?" she rambled.
"Who gave you permission to touch these? These are used for Bratva purposes Felicity and I don't want you anywhere near the Bratva business!" He roared, pulling away from her.
"I'm sorry I didn't know that I needed permission to use things that are in my own house. And I was doing you a favor. I'm surprised we weren't all killed in our sleep because that security system that you had was garbage and I fixed it." She spat back. What the hell was wrong with him?
"I don't want you near here. Bratva members go in and out of here for information and I don't want MY wife in the middle of that."
"Screw you Oliver. I can do what I want." Why was he acting like this? They were fine. Why was he doing this?
He laughed darkly. "You think you can do what you want. I'd like to see you try."
Tears were falling down her face. How could he treat her like this? It was like she was a prisoner. Why was he doing this?
She turned and looked at him and he looked taken back. He wanted to kill himself for being the cause of that look on her face.
"You made it clear from the beginning that we can both do whatever we wanted. So stay the hell away from me and leave me alone." She said with no emotion.
She walked away from him again. She ran away from him. When she reached the bedroom she fell apart. She braced her hand against the wall and slipped down it as she choked on a sob. She cried. Things had gotten so much better. She even found herself liking Oliver in ways she knew she shouldn't. Why was he hurting her like this?
He wanted someone to kill him. How could he do that to her? He knew how much her freedom meant to her due to her father; and yet he ended up saying those things to her anyways.
He was such a fucking douchebag.
He went to their room after her and he stopped at the door when he heard her sobbing against it. His heart clenched in pain. It was a like a knife was constantly stabbing at him. It pierced his soul. Her hurt was his pain.
He couldn't even think properly when he had thought she had gone missing. He couldn't fathom the thought of never seeing her again. He thought he would have to relive the pain of his parents again. That was how much she had come to mean to him.
When he had got the call from Diggle saying she was safe he had to take a moment to steady himself. The relief at her well being had shook him.
He needed to see that she was safe for himself; he needed too. So he ran to her.
When he had found her he couldn't take it. He lost all of his control when he thought she was gone. He had showed her too much of his heart.
His relief turned to anger quickly. Anger at himself and at her. Why had she not answered his worried calls? Why did she not think to tell anybody where she was? Did she not care that he might have turned the whole mansion, if not the whole city upside down looking for her?
That was it.
That was the exact problem and the exact reason as to why he was angry at himself.
Why was he willing to tear the city apart to find her? He wasn't suppose to feel anything for her because he knew it would destroy him. Why had he let her find a way to sneak beneath his walls and into his heart? Why did he keep going back to her? Why? Why?!
He was angry at himself for feeling anything for her. It would only lead to pain and he ended up feeling that pain when he couldn't find her. His anger at himself and her caused him to fight with her.
It didn't make sense. It really didn't. He argued for no reason. But he had needed her to get angry at him, to fight with him so he...so he would stay away.
He wasn't prepared for how much it would hurt to see her cry. To see that gut wrenching look and pained expression. He wasn't prepared for her and he wasn't sure if he would ever be prepared to shut her out for good.
"Okay Oliver, what the fuck did you do?" That was the first thing that Thea had said to him as he met her for lunch the very next day.
He didn't sleep at all that night. He didn't even go to their room. He couldn't bare to see her because if he saw that face again he didn't think he would be able to stay away anymore. He was a moth that was attracted to the flame and somehow he had to force himself to get away from it; even if it seemed impossible.
He had gone to QC early and he had almost forgotten that he was supposed to meet Thea at Table Salt.
He sat down and ignored her question but of course, nothing gets by Thea. "I'm serious Oliver. What did you do?" She asked calmly knowing very well that he knew what she was talking about.
"I didn't do anything Thea." He replied acting as if he had no care in the world. "It's just another one of our fights. She'll get over it just like I have."
"I can't believe you. Don't act as if you're not affected by what happened yesterday."
He gave her a questioning look.
"I may or may not have been told about the search for Felicity yesterday." She gave him a worried look. "What happened?"
He clenched his jaw in annoyance. He didn't want to deal with this.
"Drop it Thea. Now." He bit out while picking up his menu.
"No. Ollie you have to talk about this." She pushed.
"No I don't Thea."
"Look Oliver, I didn't come here to fight"
"Well it looks like that's where it's heading," he said angrily.
"Oliver! I thought you wanted to make this work." She replied sounding hurt. "How do you expect us to heal if we don't open up. Please Oliver."
"Fine!" He raised his voice clenching his teeth exploding. "You want to know what happened! I lost it! I freakin lost it!"
Thea looked at him stunned. "Oliver?" she grasped his hand from across the table. She was trying to give him strength to tell her.
"I don't know what happened. I panicked. I was so scared. I hadn't felt that way since mom and dad...and...I...I lost it." He shuddered at the raw memory.
"What happened though? Why did you fight because Ollie, she looked miserable." Thea pushed on hesitantly.
He humorously laughed at what he did. He was a monster and he had proved to the world yet again that he was heartless. "I was angry. I was angry that I was feeling that way. I wasn't suppose to feel anything for her. So I fought with her to push her away. " he said distantly.
"Why?" She asked. Why would he do that to himself? He clearly cared for her.
He bent his head down face scrunched and pained. "Because I could lose her...And.. I ..I..don't think I could come back from that."
"Oh Ollie. You can't think like that. You can't run away from these feelings for her because you're afraid. You have to live too Ollie and be happy." She smiled sadly at him. "Mom and dad would want you to be happy."
She laughed. "And we both know Felicity makes you happy. I mean I might have been acting like you were deceased these past few days but I would have to be pretty blind to not notice you two." He smiled at that. Remembering their teasing in the hallways of the mansion. How was it possible to feel so strongly about a person after knowing them for 3 weeks?
"That was the lightest I've seen you, in like ever. Don't ruin your relationship with her because you're afraid. Don't let your fear take over and control you." She looked him in the eye trying to get her point across.
"I don't know how to do this Thea." This was the first time that he was admitting he even felt something for Felicity; or anyone. He wanted what Thea was suggesting. God he wanted her. But he was scared and he knew Thea was right. He couldn't let his fear destroy this. "I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't -"
"Oliver you can do this. You can protect her. And plus you'll have me to help you fix things if you screw up."
He laughed.
The waiter had come at that moment and they had ordered their food.
"What do I do speedy?" Oliver's face grew somber. He dragged a hand over his face. "How do I fix this? I want this and I'm terrified by how much I do." He reluctantly admitted.
"Well for starters you definitely have to apologize and maybe do something really nice for her because you hurt her. And no she's not one who cares for jewelry and materialistic things. I mean she likes that stuff but she won't accept that from you now." Thea looked up in thought. "You have to do something that would actually show you cared."
He knew exactly what he would do for her. He never did things like this for anyone; but for her it felt natural.
This was a large step for him. He would always just fuck a girl and leave before she woke up or have her leave right after. He never sought to be in a relationship. But after meeting Felicity he felt different. He found himself wanting to know more about girl and not just wanting to have sex. She made him want to tell her things and open up. She was unknowingly breaking through him; and once she fully got through he knew that he would never be the same again.
He knew his fears still existed but he could protect her, couldn't he? He wouldn't let anyone take her away.
Could he do it? Could he finally let someone in after all this time?