Benny sat awkwardly on the couch, watching an old rerun of Saturday Night Live, as Ryan changed into his pajamas in his bedroom. She was perfectly at home in his apartment; she always had been. Something about the place just felt like home to her. Maybe it was the fact that it was completely immaculate; maybe it was the way it smelled like Ryan; maybe it was the fact that she had so many perfect memories within these walls. Whatever the case, she loved being here. But now she wondered what the situation was going to be. Were they going to sleep in his bed, just like the old days, pretending nothing had happened? Was he going to sleep on the couch? Was she? Benny had never been one to draw attention to an awkward set of circumstances, but now she was left wondering if she should be the one to bring up the sleeping situation.
She was drawn from her contemplation by Ryan's sudden weight beside her on the couch. She looked over at him and smiled. He was wearing a grey t-shirt and flannel pajama pants. Typical Ryan garb.
Ryan let his eyes wander over his guest's figure for a moment before speaking. Having already changed into her sleeping attire, she wore a black t-shirt that read "Dead and Divine" across the front in haphazard font, and grey sweatpants. She always did love to wear sweatpants.
"So I was thinking I could let you commandeer my bed while you're here; I don't mind riding the couch." He smiled brightly, like it was the most normal thing in the world for them to be having a 'sleepover'.
Benny didn't know how to feel. I guess you can't expect him to come right out and ask me if I want to spoon. Still, she was slightly taken aback by the casualty with which he presented this option.
She shrugged. "I don't mind the couch at all; you probably need your rest while you're healing, anyway." When we were dating, did I let you pay for me when we went to movies?
He sighed, knowing that he was fighting a losing battle. "OK, so we'll alternate nights. That's as low as I'm willing to go. And tonight's your night in the bed." He grinned boyishly, and she sheepishly returned the gesture.
"You always did know how to compromise." She said as she stood up and padded softly across the room. At his bedroom door, she turned around and smiled at him (sadly?). "Goodnight, Ryan."
He just looked at her. He knew she was disappointed; he could always tell when she was trying not to blame him. What did I do this time?
Fifteen feet and a thousand worlds away, Benny curled up in Ryan's teal duvet and swallowed back the tears threatening her pride. How could you expect anything to happen? He doesn't give a damn; he just wants to be friends. You don't care. You don't care. You don't care…
She drifted into a somber, dreamless sleep.
"Karl Lampley? MDPD, I'd like to ask you some questions." Ryan opened the trailer door and walked in slowly.
"Mr. Lampley?" He opened a closet and gasped as some architectural designs fell out on him. Laughing, he stepped over the mess to another door, which he had barely reached when he felt a searing pain across his face. He had never felt anything like it.
Is this how I'm going to die?
Ryan sat up on the couch, his pulse racing. He had had these dreams before, but they had never seemed so…real.
I guess it makes sense; it's been a long day. He exhaled loudly as he lay back down on the couch, staring up at the stucco ceiling. He wasn't very tired, and certainly not eager to be falling back to sleep. He glanced at the grandfather clock that stood ominously near the door to the kitchen, and read that it was nearly six in the morning. Yawning, he raised himself quickly into a sitting position…too quickly. He felt an agonizing rush of blood from his head, and experienced a moment of nauseating dizziness as he waited for the head rush to pass. Having always had low blood pressure, he had experienced this before, but never with such magnitude. After a moment, though, it passed, and he cautiously stood, to prepare himself some breakfast.
After cracking two eggs onto an expensive non-stick pan and popping a few pieces of bread into the toaster, he remembered why he had woken up on the couch, and searched in his refrigerator for the ingredients to his guest's favourite breakfast dish.
Benny rolled over in bed, throwing her arm across the place that would have otherwise been occupied by its owner. Unconsciously noticing the emptiness of the space, she woke slowly, opening a bleary eye to her somewhat familiar surroundings. It took a moment for the events of the previous day to register, but when they did, she had mixed emotions.
The kiss…you can't pretend there was nothing there. But then we come here and it's as if nothing happened. Damnit, Ryan!
She yawned and threw her legs over the side of the bed, then walked across the cold hardwood floors, opening the door to the rest of Ryan's home.
Her immediate impression was that she was at her parents' home in Saskatchewan. The scents were completely reminiscent of her childhood, and the feeling of belonging was undeniable.
"Morning, sunshine." Ryan greeted her brightly, placing an arm behind her shoulder and gently ushering her towards the kitchen table, upon which was a variety of dishes she had forgotten he knew how to make.
"Sleep well?" He seemed really chipper for just after six in the morning, but there was the tiniest air of uncertainty, as if he were just awaiting her approval. She nodded at him slowly, aware that her mouth hung slightly agape.
Finally, she gathered her thoughts. "Ryan, what's…what's with all this?" She gestured toward the plates of food set before her. What the hell is with all this?
Oh God, she hates it. "Well, I slept through most of yesterday, so I woke up early today and thought I'd make myself useful." He grinned broadly, but Ben could still detect that slight tremor in his voice as he begged for her approval. My forgiveness?
"Well, it's great." She held her eyes on his for a moment longer than necessary, then scanned the table, taking in all of her favourite dishes. "I'm surprised you remembered how to make 'Benny's Omelet'. And those little doughnuts! Oh, Ryan, this is…" She gazed across the table at where he had taken a seat. "You really didn't need to do this." He sure knows the way to my heart! And I do hope that's where he's headed.
Ryan shrugged. "Well, you know, you hung out with me all yesterday and I just thought I'd show you my…uh…" He laughed, blushing. "My appreciation, Benny. I appreciate everything that you've done." It seemed as though he was referring to the previous day, when she had spent her time in his hospital room, but they both knew better. I'm talking about the way you make it worthwhile to come to work because when you laugh it's the greatest sound I've ever heard, and when you smile from ear to ear because you've found the tiniest piece of trace evidence, it makes me want to gather you in my arms and never let go. And when you look at me with those eyes, I'm reminded of what an idiot I am and how I pray that our kiss yesterday meant as much to you as it did to me.
He knew she didn't read minds, but he hoped she could read his expression and know that he cared the world for her. Because everyone knew that Ryan Wolfe was not much for speaking his heart. It made him uncomfortable to say those words aloud, and, as always, he hoped things would work out without necessitating any serious speech from him. He was sensitive and compassionate, but when it came to his feelings, he could be painfully mute.