Author's note:

Hello again! I hope that the entry to the year 2015 was smooth for you and you are in a mood to read new chapter! :) I'm also glad that you like the way I'm trying to get to the root of Ziva's problems. It makes me really happy and I want to thank you for the understanding.

Thank you so much, Debbie for your contribution. That's what I am aiming for, I want Ziva to realize that Tony is the right one for her and that he won't betray her. :)

To the Guest reviewer who is obviously pissed off with this story – I'm sorry if you feel like that but if you don't like the way I write my stories, then don't read it. Nobody forces you to do so. So, if you don't want to feel annoyed, just pretend that this story doesn't exist. As for my A/N – I love to read A/Ns of other writers and I love to write my own A/N, it' usually my way how to thank guest reviewers for their opinion since I can't contact them through PM – just as I'm doing it right now with you. If you don't like the A/Ns then skip it – again, nobody forces you to read it and it's not that hard to scroll down a bit. Thanks

Anyway, I hope you will like this chapter – it's longer than the previous ones as I warned last week, so sit back and hopefully enjoy! :)

Towel – Chapter 13

*** WHERE WE LEFT OFF ***

And then, it hit him exactly what her problem with all of this was. This wasn't his ninja, this was a woman, a broken woman to be exact. A woman who had convinced herself that her trust had been betrayed because those she loved the most had always done such a thing. She had been betrayed by Michael, by her father, and recently, she had been betrayed by CIRay. And now, she believed he'd been the one who had dared to do this unspeakable act.

He had been sure that the way he'd decided to express his feelings for her had been the best one. But apparently, it had been the worst one. Maybe he should have given her the space to tell him what she had wanted and not to insist so much on the physical side of the seduction. Maybe he really had gone overboard with it, and should have chosen some other way to show her what he felt, because she obviously didn't want to believe it.

He felt miserable the moment he looked her directly in the eye and saw the hurt she so much tried to hide. He didn't want any of that. To hurt her was the last thing he'd had in mind. The realization that she now counted him in with the group of betrayers who had managed to break her heart and just use her for their own advantages, let him know that he had to start fixing it immediately. He couldn't let her to think that all he had wanted was just sleep with her. He needed to convince her that it all had been real.

*** AND NOW WE CONTINUE ***

With a sigh, he shifted on the bed, sitting in front of her to be sure he could see her face, or at least to make her look at him. She watched him motionlessly, still breathing heavily in an attempt to tame her temperament and trying to resist the urge to kill him on the spot, but waiting to see what he intended to do. Her curiousness just got the better of her, somewhere deep inside her she felt she would probably make a great mistake if she didn't let him explain himself. And she wanted to stop making mistakes, because their friendship was at stake at the moment.

He tried to reach for her hands and take them into his, but she jerked them away, refusing to hold his hands and, rather, hiding them in her lap. She wasn't even looking at him because she didn't want to succumb to his imploring gaze and adorable face. He grimaced guiltily and understood her aloofness, rather, trying to polish up his speech so she would believe it and wouldn't question his intentions anymore.

"Look, I know that what I did wasn't a very honourable way to express what I wanted to say. I chose a very wrong way, I know that now." He started with a calm, firm voice, trying to make an eye contact with her, but unsuccessfully, because she rather studied the sheet's fabric.

"I admit that I entered your room without permission, I admit that I didn't think about knocking, which was rude of me. But I just wanted to give you the shoes, nothing more. I didn't have any intention to catch you off guard like that, I swear." He presented his case and didn't hesitate to defend himself. He really was telling the truth, he would swear on his mother's grave if it was necessary to make her believe that he hadn't had any idea she had been naked, wrapped in just a tiny towel.

"When I did, I... I honestly don't know what I was thinking. I just saw it as an opportunity to finally express what I feel for you, because I knew that words weren't enough." He continued, the desperation dripping from the tone of his voice as he tried to convince her about his pure intentions.

A small smile appeared on his face when she lifted her eyes to him and met his gaze with an obvious question written all over her face. Why did he think that words weren't enough? He knew very well she had wanted to talk, but he hadn't given her any space to do so. He'd just offered her an ultimatum – she'd either give in, or she'd tell him to stop and leave. Nothing in between, no chance to make him talk.

"I just thought that actions were better than words. Especially when it comes to us. Because honestly, Ziva, we two have never been good in talking." He explained his unwillingness to talk, since there were just too many things between them that they should talk about.

She hung her head, because she had to admit that he'd had a point, there. Too many unspoken words, too many refused and avoided conversations they were both too afraid to carry out. She knew it was primarily her fault, because she'd usually been the one who had asked him to put off the talk for later, but then had turned him down when he had wanted to get back to it.

It was the irony of life, because she realized that her own actions from the past and his previous experience with her had actually driven him to do what he had done. She'd literally pushed him to choose this way because, given by her usual refusal to talk about things that concerned them, he had been certain she would have tried to avoid any kind of talk again.

He just couldn't find any other way to express himself without being interrupted, accused of lying, and threatened or anything she might try to use to evade a conversation with him. Because he had been right, she would probably try to sweep it under the carpet and mask her own fears behind pitiful threats and insults that she usually used. Even though she had wanted to talk, it would have probably ended with some evasive manoeuvre from her side.

But it didn't change the fact he shouldn't have chosen this way how to finally make her give in. So, when he achieved her silent agreement to what he had said, he decided to continue. "And I know you feel hurt and deceived. But trust me that was the last thing I wanted you to think." He, again, tried to reach for her hands, but she still refused to let him to touch her.

"I didn't betray your trust. I didn't mess with you. I just needed to prove the truthfulness and sincerity of my feelings for you, and this was the only way I could make you believe me." He further explained, denying her accusation of making fun of her from earlier. His feelings were serious, he had been serious during their love-making, letting all of the love he felt for her out of his chest. She wasn't the only one who had risked and shown everything.

"What feelings are you talking about?" She asked him unbelievingly, still refusing to believe he actually had any feelings for her. In spite of her agreement with the fact they had never been good in talking, she still couldn't bring herself to believe that he hadn't been messing with her. Did he really think that she would take the bait and come to believe his soft soap?

She wasn't that naive. The feelings he felt towards her didn't go beyond friendship. They were still just partners and friends. This was just his way to deal with the unsustainable sexual tension between them. To get her in bed, nothing more. No real feelings had been involved from his side. Only she had been that silly to actually believe that her feelings might have been reciprocated.

Tony sighed exasperatedly, because, like he could see, his plan truly hadn't had the effect he had aimed for. She still didn't believe him. She somehow wasn't able to accept the fact that he was in love with her and that he had made love to her with the same passion like she had. He didn't know why she just kept refusing to believe his feelings went that far, but he was determined enough to keep on trying to convince her.

He raised his hand and cupped her cheek, even though she tried to dodge it, because she was too afraid of losing it again. It was hard to resist the urge to lean into his touch when he started to graze his thumb across her cheek, making an eye contact with her. Although she tried to direct her eyes somewhere else so she wouldn't look at him, his face was always the place she ended up at.

She so much wanted not to trust the love shining in his eyes, the warmth that sparkled in his orbs, but she couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach to start flying. Her hardened gaze melted under his. She lost herself in the depth of his enchanting stare he was giving her. She naturally focused on his lips for a while before she lifted her eyes back to his, still desiring his kiss.

"Ziv, we both know that what have happened between us has a deeper meaning." He told her, using his calm, but persuasive voice to convince her. She just gulped and let him to go on, deciding to neither agree nor disagree with his statement.

"We were both deeply in it because our true feelings were involved. It wasn't just casual sex. We..." He tried to continue but she didn't let him, closing her eyes in denial of his words.

"Don't say it." She ordered him in a whisper, shoving away his hand as she turned her head aside. She didn't want to look at him. She couldn't let him to say it aloud because it would become too real for her liking. If she was supposed to survive this, she couldn't admit to him that it had been love-making. It was enough that she had admitted it to herself, which had caused complete chaos in her head.

"We made love." He finished, not allowing her to throw him off balance. He understood that to say it loudly was making it even more real than it had been so far, but it sounded so nice. He couldn't stop the smile that crept onto his face, letting the love for her to seize his heart more than ever.

He watched her intently as she closed her eyes more firmly, fighting against her own desire to admit they had made love. She knew she had made love to him, but she still wasn't sure what it had been from his side. Because his attempts to convince her hadn't worked so far, she couldn't bring herself to believe him. She was afraid she might fall into a trap once again, and she didn't want to repeat the same mistake in the course of a few minutes.

"Although you're trying to deny it, that's the naked truth. My only wrongdoing is that I decided to go for it because I had read signs that you might feel the same way about me. And I couldn't let such a chance slip away." He went on, getting desperate with her constant refusal. Is she really that broken that she can't accept the fact they made love? That he was sincere with her and really isn't messing with her?

Once more, he tried to reach for her hand and take it in his. But she didn't let him to do so. He was confusing her more and more with each passing second as the war between her heart and brain started anew. Her heart ached for him, wanting to tell him what she had found out, and how strong her love was. But her brain didn't want to allow it, and it made her keep refusing to believe his words.

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about. I have no feelings for you." She denied she would even feel anything towards him. The lie was burning in her throat, making her squirm as she tried to escape his presence, but knowing she couldn't because she was naked, wrapped in just a sheet. So, there was no chance to escape from him.

Tony chuckled unbelievingly, not comprehending why she so much wanted to destroy everything they had worked on. It was a blatant lie she'd just left out of her mouth, and she knew it very well. Nobody would ever believe that she didn't feel anything when it came to him, not even a friendship. They had gone through so much together, indelible and emotional events that neither of them could forget about. There was no way she could feel nothing.

He ceased her fidgety movements, grabbing her by her wrists and bringing their bodies closer. She gasped nervously, breathing heavily because she was aware of how terribly she had lied about her allegedly non-existent feelings for him. And especially because she melted into him the moment he had touched her, and when she stopped resisting the eye contact he had tried to make, it was more than obvious she had been lying.

He was very knowledgeable in her lies. He could tell when she had been lying, particularly when it came to her feelings. She had given him a deep insight into her mind over these last few months they had been spending together, which, of course, didn't mean he knew why she now tried to deny what her heart felt. He could only guess what exactly had been behind it, but he had his suspicions.

But he didn't have time to give it any thought and analyse what had been happening in her head, because he had more important task to care about, convincing her about his feelings, show her that he knew she had been lying and make her to admit her feelings to him. He knew she loved him, he heard how she'd whispered it, but he didn't want to use it, since she could easily deny it. She still didn't have any idea she'd confessed her love for him aloud.

"So, you want to tell me that you feel nothing towards me?" He breathed out across her lips, looking deeply into her eyes, watching as she gulped. She dared not say another lie. Her eyes revealed more than anything that what she felt for him was stronger than any kind of feeling she had ever experienced.

"That you feel nothing when I touch you?" He asked her, challenging her to show him that she felt nothing, even though it was obvious she couldn't.

To demonstrate that he knew she had been lying, he released her wrists and rubbed his hands across her bare arms, sending goose bumps across her skin. She suddenly didn't know what to do with her hands, so she let them to fall into her lap and grabbed the sheet to prevent herself from reaching out to him. But she couldn't hide how much her body liked his touch and craved for the contact.

She turned her head sideways again, not just to hide her lustful gaze from him, but also because she didn't want him to see how she was biting her lip in desperate attempt to fight against her whimpers in delight. But he used it to his own advantage, grazing his fingers up and down her arm, reaching to her neck and face as well, smiling triumphantly when she unconsciously leaned into his touch.

His second hand stuck behind the sheet, caressing her calf and driving her crazy with it. Her willpower was slowly fading away, losing the inner struggle she had battled with herself. She had been telling lie after lie, because, of course, she felt something. How couldn't she? He had a wonderful ability that had always helped him to get through her walls, no matter how high and thick the walls had been.

Her body was shaking under his caresses because the exciting tension she felt wanted to break free, but she still stubbornly kept it inside. However, she whimpered when he bent his head down and kissed the sensitive spot on her wrist, grazing his nose up her arm, and he certainly didn't resist teasing her neck. She exhaled shakily when she sensed his body so close to hers, because his proximity was just something she apparently needed, despite her reluctance to believe his words.

"Or kiss you?" He whispered those words right into her ear, watching the noticeable tremble of her body and enjoying the heat it was emitting.

She turned her head to him, surprised when she found his face just millimetres from hers, their lips almost touching. He continued in his caresses on her leg, cupping her cheek to be sure she wouldn't try to turn away, his eyes slipping down on her lips when she parted them. Their bodies now were in the direct contact again, and he could feel her heart beating erratically, which only proved that her claim had been a plain lie.

It was she who made the first step as she leaned her head in and tried to catch his lips between hers, but he pulled away a bit, making impossible for her to get what she hungered for. She tried it again, but to no avail. She didn't realize that she was now giving him the necessary proof he needed to know she actually felt something towards him, since her only desire at the moment was to kiss him.

But that didn't interest her at all, because the only thing she wanted was to feel his lips on hers. So, to be certain she would be successful for the third time, she raised her hands and wrapped them around his neck, finally closing the tiny gap between them. The love she felt exploded the moment their lips had joined, spreading through her veins to every corner of her being.

His arms embraced her naturally, pressing their bodies together tightly, to which she didn't try to resist at all. She was just too weak. His kiss was calming her down, and if she was supposed to believe that his feelings for her were serious and he really hadn't just taken advantage of her state of undress, then such a kiss was one of the best ways how to achieve it.

Although she was already familiar with his lips and the way he tasted, he didn't cease to amaze her with how damn good it actually was every time. She loved the merest detail of the kiss, never wanting to give up the chance to kiss him once more. Their rubbing, intertwined tongues, their biting teeth and their swollen lips just couldn't get enough of each other, craving for more with each movement.

She palmed his cheeks, changing the angle marvellously with a deep moan while he contentedly responded, letting the joy seize him. This wasn't the type of kiss that would scream with 'I have no feelings for you'. On the contrary, it was a kiss full of unbridled passion, uncontrollable lust and, mainly, love. Exactly the kind of emotions and feelings he knew very well she felt towards him.

The kiss got out of their control, because it soon developed into something more as their hands started to roam, caressing their skins. He just had to rake her almost-dry hair with his fingers, burying them there and revelling in those natural curls he loved so much. And she hugged him more tightly, excitingly rubbing his back up to his head, reaching into his hair, as well, as she tousled it.

Shifting her weight, she stopped leaning over and, rather, changed the direction, trying to lie down on the mattress and take him with her. She just wanted to feel, again, how wonderfully it felt to be surrounded by his body, because she had fallen in love with the feeling the moment she'd had the chance to experience it. Nothing interested her in this very moment like her want for him.

Tony took the hint rather quickly and gently started to use his body weight to make her lie down. With regret, he freed one of his hands from her hair and put it on the mattress behind her body to find some support for doing so, while she wrapped her arms around him, clinging onto him, practically forcing him to put her down. She stretched out her legs to prepare for the lying position as he did the same, but with some difficulties since he still had to hold her.

But he found the right position when her back hit the mattress, letting him to press his chest against hers and kiss her thoroughly. His hands stuck beneath the sheets and touched her heated skin, massaging her waist gently as she whimpered and tugged at his hair to express her pleasure only he could give her. And she was certain that she wanted it only from him, time after time.

She dismissed everything from her mind. She couldn't even remember what he had been asking her and why she had been angry with him because it was irrelevant right now. Whatever it was, it had some plausible explanation, so there was no need to feel uncertain or hurt. She was completely focused on getting the satisfaction from him once more, totally uninterested in some upcoming rehearsal dinner.

But he didn't forget his question. He remembered very well of what she had accused him of and how much it had hurt him that she didn't want to believe he might love her and that he'd just taken advantage of her, and, moreover, that she had denied she would even feel something towards him. He couldn't leave it like that. He needed to clarify exactly what he felt and why he considered the thing that had happened between them as love-making.

Determinedly, he broke the kiss and allowed them both a chance to refill their lungs. She whimpered, trying to pull his head down to attach her lips back to his, but he resisted, gently kneading her muscles. "Why did you let me to make love to you then, huh?" He asked her breathlessly, reminding her that she had claimed she had no feelings for him at all, which obviously wasn't true.

Her memories on the previous conversation returned, but she couldn't do anything else but agree with him. Because he was right, she had been lying about her feelings, because she certainly couldn't call love some insignificant feeling. She sighed, trying to apologize through her gaze, but it seemed that he still wasn't finished, that he expected from her to confirm that she had been lying.

"If you have no feelings for me, then why did you spend nights watching me in my sleep and caressing my face?" He blurted out, watching her reaction closely. If he couldn't use the love confession that she had made and about which she didn't have any idea against her, then he could use their sleeping arrangements during their movie nights in her apartment.

Her face froze in the sudden shock that hit her because she thought that he hadn't known about that. She had thought it was her little secret, because she had expected that if he had known about it, he would have tried to question her. But nothing like that had ever happened. She opened her mouth to ask him how the hell did he knew, but no words came out because she couldn't bring herself to say anything.

"Or do you think that I don't know about those 'secret sleeping snuggles' that happen when I fall asleep in your apartment?" He asked her upon seeing her shocked expression, because he couldn't believe that she hadn't considered he might know about it.

She didn't know what to respond. How was she supposed to explain her desire to watch him in his sleep? The fact she loved to trace her fingers all over his face, admiring his boyish features? There was only one explanation for all of this, and it certainly didn't match with what she had claimed – that she had no feelings for him. Because this screamed with proof of very strong and serious feelings.

But she still knew nothing about his. Does it mean he is in love with her because he considers the thing that has happened between them as love-making? Is there any chance that he might reciprocate her feelings? Were his intentions really that pure and she just freaked out pointlessly? She stared at him, thousands of questions circling around in her head, making her confused.

She abruptly sat up, pushing him away and trying to sort out her thoughts. But she hadn't had such havoc in her head for a very long time. "How?" She managed to get out of her mouth, wondering how he knew about all of this, when had he found out and why he hadn't told her anything.

Tony sat up, too, not at all hurt that she had shoved him away because he had expected it. She was astonished with the new information, so the reaction had been natural in her state of wonder. But that didn't stop him from trying to obtain the answer he wanted to hear from her. He had to tell her how he felt about her and she needed to admit that her feelings for him were real. He couldn't let the situation stay in such chaotic condition because it would destroy everything.

So he embraced her from behind, pressing her back on his chest, satisfied that she didn't try to fight it and, rather, melt into his arms because it was easier than to endlessly resist to her cravings. It felt so good to be enveloped in his warmth. She loved the way his hands possessively hold her while he sniffed her hair, grazing her neck lightly with his nose.

"Does it really matter how I know about it?" He whispered into her ear, nipping her earlobe gently, getting another proof of how wonderfully responsive she was when she bent her head aside to give him more space for teasing her neck.

She even let the sheet around her fall down and gave him a chance to caress her breasts sensually, by which she confirmed that she actually wasn't interested in any explanation. Still, she grabbed his hands to prevent herself from touching him while enjoying the delight she was experiencing thanks to his lips on the sensitive skin of her throat.

"Isn't it more important to finally admit that you have some feelings for me?" He asked her, wanting her to admit that she had been lying, because the way she had reacted to his touches and his kiss was enough for him to know that the love confession from before had been really genuine and it hadn't been some heat-of–the-moment.

Ziva knew that the reason why she was angry with him was because she had convinced herself that he'd just taken advantage of her, and it was hurting her because she had trusted him. She was in love with him and the alleged betrayal was breaking her heart because she hadn't expected something like that from him. Maybe from others, but not from him. Not after all those countless occasions when he had showed her his loyalty.

She closed her eyes and sighed, wondering how to get out of this situation without harming him and herself. She just needed some time to absorb the new feeling she'd found. Besides, she still wasn't sure whether she could believe him. All of his words had been supposed to convince her about his sincerity and about his feelings, but after all those betrayals she had experienced in her life, it was hard for her to learn to trust again.

"Tony, please... This is really not the best timing to talk about such things." She tried to put off the conversation for another time. She didn't like to do this, but she really needed to deal with herself first. To accept the love for him and decide whether to believe him that he loved her back and all this that had happened between them was really love-making and not just some attempt to get her into the bed, wasn't the easiest thing. She needed to think it over.

Tony didn't know what else he was supposed to do to make her believe him and to gain her trust back. He had apologized, he'd explained himself, he'd convinced her that she'd lied to him about her non-existent feelings because she clearly felt something towards him, but it apparently hadn't been enough. But he was determined to finish this and say those three words into her eyes, he just had to. It was his duty, he owed that to her and to himself as well.

"And when will that be?" He asked her curiously, not believing that she would really want to return to the conversation later. This was her attempt how to make him to leave and later force him to forget about what had happened. He was getting tired of her constant refusal to talk about serious matters, especially the ones that concerned them.

She registered the evident sarcasm in his voice as if he suspected she might try to avoid the promised talk, and if she wanted to be honest, he had every right to accuse her of such a thing. It was just easier to forget those moments they had experienced together in this room since he'd stepped in and had caught her wearing nothing but a towel. She wouldn't have to deal with anything, at least not in the near future. But he wanted from her some immediate reaction, and she wasn't capable of that.

She turned her head to look at him and to explain to him her thoughts and beg for time, but when she saw his face, she couldn't bring herself to say anything. His gaze was warmer than ever before. The expression of utter admiration mixed with desperation, anger and desire shining from his eyes captivated her. All over again, he was proving that his stare was one of his greatest weapons and she had to use all of her remaining willpower to hold out against it.

The battle inside her body between her head and heart was getting unbearable. She so much wanted to believe the love she saw written all over his face. She wanted to believe his words. She also wanted to believe he hadn't just taken advantage of her, that she hadn't been the only one who had made love. That he had been making love to her, as well, and, thus, she could trust him more than anyone, because he loved her.

However, there was the other side of this. The way he'd seduced her, the fact he still hadn't told her whether he really was in love with her, made her confused. Besides, she believed she was cursed, because every man she had ever loved had betrayed her eventually. Too many men had lied to her, too many of them had let her down, and all she could do was just watch it and do nothing about it.

She hated Ray for what he had done to her, because it now affected her attitude toward Tony. She couldn't bring herself to believe him, not in this state of confusion and hurt she was in. Especially with the new realization that she had fallen in love with her partner, co-worker and best friend in one, which was making things even harder. It wasn't supposed to happen. He had been forbidden from her, and yet, she had fallen for him.

That was why it was better to deny it all, to suppress it for a while and wait for her heart to be completely healed. She was uncertain about her feelings. She wasn't sure whether she could believe to what her heart or her brain were telling her, even though she had acted on it in the last hour or so. He had such power over her that, although she felt weak, he always managed to make her stronger.

She reached out her hand and cupped his face, tracing her thumb across his cheek, and gave him a regretful look. "Just not now. Please, take your things and..." She said, only to be interrupted by his annoyed huff because he really couldn't stand her refusing behaviour anymore.

"No, I won't leave. You have to understand that I can't leave things in this state." He told her determinedly because he really couldn't leave without any other explanation, and, thus, to prove that he had done exactly of what she'd accused him of, which wasn't the truth at all.

Although his persuasion speech had had some effect on her, he recognized that it had also confused her probably even more, because she wanted to believe him, but for some reason, she couldn't. He hoped that if he told her in words what exactly he felt, then she would believe him at least a little bit. She had known him long enough to know that he didn't squander such words, especially if it concerned people he cared about.

"I can't let you to think that it's impossible for me to love you. I have to tell you how I really feel about you." He pointed out the fact that her stubbornness and constant denial complicated his efforts to make her believe him. She had given him her trust and now she wasn't able to believe his candid declaration that what he felt for her was genuine and real and that he hadn't been messing with her. And just because she had convinced herself that he couldn't have such feelings for her.

She didn't dare to blink because she had been frozen since the moment the word 'love' left his lips. It felt so nice to hear it. It warmed her heart immensely and she didn't know why, because he hadn't directly told her he loved her. But just to hear the word in his beautiful voice was enough for her to melt as her heart rate sped up. There was really no reason to deny it anymore, she was head over heels in love with him. Her body was giving her such signs that she couldn't ignore it. At least she could trust herself in this point. One item on her imaginary list of tasks how to deal with herself was crossed.

His eyes studied her for a long moment as he pondered whether to say it now or to find some better position for telling her. He had been playing out this moment in his head numerous times, not to mention how many times he had dreamt about it, and still, he couldn't find the best way, the best place and the best timing for saying it. He wanted it to be perfect, but that was apparently impossible.

He broke the eye contact they had been holding and moved on the bed to sit right in front of her so she wouldn't have to tilt her head to look at him. She followed his movements with her eyes in obvious puzzlement, wondering what the hell he was doing, afraid that he might really leave now. But when he just shifted himself back to his previous position in front of her, she calmed down a bit and just covered her body to the sheet once again.

He raked his hair in nervousness and then reached for her hands, glad that she didn't pull them away. She was giving him the chance to express what he felt, which surprised him but he couldn't wish for more. He still had a chance to set things right, to convince her about his love and make her believe that he could love her. And if there was anybody she could trust, it was him.

He put a finger under her chin and lifted her gaze to his, since she had found sudden interest in their joined hands. "I am, again, sorry for the way I decided to express what I feel. But I swear that I intended to voice it in words, as well, from the very beginning." He started, knowing it was better to apologize once more and pointed out that his feelings for her had been present for a very long time. So, when he'd started to seduce her, he had been driven by his feelings, about which he had wanted to convince her and tell her.

She could just stare at him, completely captivated by his speech again, trying to figure inside her what her thoughts over it were. "Hell, I wanted to tell you that for months. But... there was never the right moment because something always got into my way." He continued, gripping her hands and stressing his words by squeezing them, his determination and his enormous effort to make her to believe him because he was telling the truth coming through.

"I let my actions to speak for me because I just didn't want anything to interrupt me so I could finally stop being a coward and show you, as well as tell you, how I feel about you. And I didn't want to scare you." He went on, speaking to her and keeping the endless eye contact between them to convince her about his sincerity. Judging by her softened gaze, she was starting to believe him.

"Plus, I wanted it to be perfect. Trust me, a hotel room really isn't the best place I imagined, and this atmosphere certainly isn't the one I wanted for us to be when I told you how I feel." He, again, defended himself and his actions, presenting her a reason why he still hadn't told her in words what the feeling he had for her even was. He wanted something better for her because she deserved it, but when this opportunity had opened up to him, he couldn't let it slip away.

"But maybe that's how it is meant to be." He shrugged in resignation, squeezing her hands to prepare her for what was about to come. He couldn't afford any form of hesitation. The confession had to be loud and clear.

Ziva couldn't tear her eyes off of him, watching him motionlessly. Her heart threatened to explode because she knew that this was the moment she would hear the words she'd wanted to hear for so long. Although there was the second part of her that begged him silently not to say anything because it was just easier to deny it than to expect another disappointment, she couldn't fight the desire to hear him out.

It was just stronger than her. So, the moment he released one of her hands and gently brushed his fingers across her cheek to keep her attention, she tilted her head to lean into his touch, watching him without a blink. Her eyes were sparkling with eagerness and tears she was refusing to let fall down, waiting for the magical moment like a five-year-old kid on a Christmas Day.

He smiled at her warmly, glad for her evident anticipation, but he was nervous as Hell. He couldn't believe that the moment he'd dreamt about for years was finally here. But he managed to calm his nerves and took a deep breath. "Ziva, I lov-" He began but was cut off immediately by a strange, rather noisy, sound.

The End of Chapter 13

I can hear the curses, the guns you are aiming at me, wanting to shoot me... I can see how you are preparing the voodoo dolls to make me pay for what I have done... :D Hm, what the 'strange, rather noisy, sound' might be?

Will you forgive me if I promise you that he will say it in the next chapter? Will you be so kind and wait just one more week to see how Tony will say it? Please? Pretty please?

I'm terrible person, I know. That's what university does with you. :D Especially studying psychology :D Anyway, I have to go back to studying, have another exam tomorrow and I have to go to work afterwards. Thanks a lot for reading and reviews are appreciated. :)

See you next Monday and have a nice week! :)