Tidbit of useless information: While listening to my "inspiration tracks" - including 'Whisper' by Evanescence - to get in the right frame of mind for this chapter, I realized that when I hear the chanting (at 3:27), I see the Volturi guard marching slowly in synchronization, the hems of their robes rippling with their forward motion. Yes, I'm a nerd ;)
Apologies to Lady Skyelite! I told you there was no newborn army! I had forgotten my previous mention of Jane's presence in WA...need to change part of this chapter now. Oops!
~Memory sequence~
Not a fluffy chapter! I repeat NOT a fluffy chapter! I hope to have plenty in the future, but there was no room to pack anything else into this chapter, lol
Chapter 7
Bella POV
"That's right angel, I have you. You are safe." Caius croons, his soft even voice helps to chase away the remnants of my dream demons. Breathing deeply, I forcefully push away the sight of lifeless eyes, rivers of red and gleaming, savagely bared, teeth from my mind.
"Are you alright?" My immortal security blanket inquires quietly, close enough that I feel his bottom lightly drag against the outer shell of my ear as his mouth forms the words.
'Yes,' I signed, feeling irritated by the sudden reappearance of the worst of my nightmares. But how did Caius know? I don't see him as the type to sit around and watch me sleep. 'I'm sorry for disturbing you.' I continued, not sure how to ask about his appearance without sounding ungrateful.
"You are not a disturbance Isabella, but what was that? I felt your distress from the far side of the castle." As he spoke, he clutched a perfect pale hand to his still heart. "Does it happen often?" He pressed, insistently eager to know the source of my distress. My sleep addled brain reeled, trying to understand how he could have possibly 'felt' that I was upset. I suppose that will be a question for another time.
I sigh heavily and pull myself into a sitting position, regretfully dislodging myself from his arms in the process. This nightmare is nothing more or less than the remainder of my history, which I have been working toward sharing with my new acquaintances - my new family, as it turns out.
'It's time to finish my story.' I told Caius, who was eyeing me questioningly. 'Explaining my dream would, in essence, be telling you my past, so I suppose it would be better to go ahead and get the whole story out. I just can't do it lying down.' I explained with a forced smile. Once again I realize how glad I am that he took it upon himself to learn sign language. I can't imagine trying to get the upcoming horror down on paper. While settling myself against the headboard, from the corner of my eye I catch a flicker of movement by the door.
Turning my head to fully face the open doorway, intense golden eyes shock my system for the second time in less than 24 hours. This time however, I can still feel the warming blanket of calm they delivered. These golden eyes were not currently instigating my pain, but working to free me from it. In fact, I find that I'm ridiculously grateful for the emotional hijacking Jasper performed just minutes ago. Between Caius' presence and Jasper's gift, they quickly and efficiently broke the stranglehold of terror suffocating me. 'Thank you.' I signed to the vampire in the hallway.
"She says..." Caius had just begun, when Jasper broke in.
"I know." He said, a crooked smile pulling up one corner of his mouth. He lightly double-tapped his chest, and I understood. Jasper felt my thanks.
The mattress shifted slightly as Caius stood, his bright blonde head cocked curiously to one side. He made his way to the door and peered out into the corridor, first to the left, then the right. He then returned to me, with bemusement painting his features, and I found I could not resist seeing for myself, just what had caused this reaction.
So great was the surprise awaiting my curious gaze, that upon its discovery, goosebumps immediately flashed across my skin. They enveloped me completely - even raising the baby-fine hairs at the base of my head - as my eyes drank in the awesome sight, of what I am almost positive is the entire Volturi guard. This multitude of vampires neither moved nor spoke, as they stood lining the passageways in sentient marble. Burning curiosity arose in me. What could possibly have happened to call them all here, to the corridor outside my room?
"They are all genuinely concerned for you Bella." Jasper whispers, from the position he holds, seated on the floor.
I looked on amazedly at the legion of stoic figures garbed in hues of black and grey, trying desperately to keep my jaw properly hinged. Suffering as I am still from a hazy state of semi-consciousness, I am finding it extremely touching that they have assembled themselves here, due to nothing more than my battle with a night-terror, no matter how real it may be in my mind. It almost brings tears to my eyes, having such a level of caring right at my fingertips - there for the taking. Not knowing any other measurable way to express my gratitude for such thoughtfulness at the moment, I motioned with both hands for the group to come inside before I turned to reclaim my previously vacated position on the bed. If these vampires are all to be part of my everyday life and new...family, they deserve to be included.
I watch in wonderment as the graceful figures of the guard file silently in. I note that their steps are nearly synchronized, as I listen to the whispering of their dark robes that move minutely in response to each elegant stride. The pale figures soberly assume positions along the walls of my, thankfully enormous, bedroom. It is a surreal experience indeed. Their faces display no definable emotion, but I do not instinctually feel uncomfortable in their stately presence, like I did the last time. When all were settled, the guard - minus Jane - covered every inch of bare wall, and in some areas stood two deep with the shorter standing in front. Caius, instead of choosing to sit with me on the bed, was standing directly on my left, clasping my hand firmly but gently in his cooler one. Aro and Marcus, who I had not noticed at first, situated themselves in the two armchairs and instructed Carlisle and Jasper to take the small sofa, all of which had been oriented to facing the bed instead of the fireplace. Jane, with deep concern in her eyes, hopped up beside me and settled herself on my right.
Thirty four vampires now filled the space, all variations of red and burgundy eyes plus two sets of gold, locked solely on me. I turned to Caius, who seemed to know the answer before I asked the question. "I am at your service milady," he assured me, bowing his head.
'Well, since you are all here...' I began, Caius' voice delivering my poor attempt at humor to the others. I waited for the light smattering of canned laughter to die out before continuing on. 'I want to thank you all first, for your concern. It means so much to me,' I was relieved to be using non-verbal communication as I felt my throat constrict with long-suppressed emotions, 'that you have accepted me so quickly. I came here only two days ago, human and completely unknown to you, yet in this short time you have deemed me worthy of your notice. My nightmare tonight was fueled by memories, true horrors that plague me when I close my eyes. Before I can explain them I need to travel back to the events that set all the others in motion. Since news and gossip travel like wildfire, I'm sure you are all aware that at one time I was involved with the vampire, Edward Cullen. During our fairly short but intense time together, I was targeted by a tracker who savored the challenge of trying to steal me from a large, highly gifted, coven of vampires. Before this vampire, James, was killed...he bit me.'
I held up my wrist to show the silver-white, double crescent scar to my audience. Most appeared either shocked or incredulous, some hissed at the sight, and a few looked on me with what I interpreted as admiration. I have a feeling I'm the only human in existence to bear the mark of an immortal.
Lucky me.
'When Edward refused to let me change and sucked the already-burning venom from my system, I began to realize that his love for me was perhaps not as absolute as he liked to declare. Our relationship, from that point on, was particularly strained. I insisted he should have let the venom spread. He repeatedly refused to consider the idea of me attaining immortality, though I could see no other way or us to truly be together. At my 18th birthday party, which was held solely for the entertainment of Edward and Alice, I cut my finger opening an envelope. Overloaded empath Jasper was inspired, by his whole family's spontaneous and overwhelming bloodlust, to try and take a nip at me.'
My eyes followed the sound of a hastily drawn breath to find Jasper with his jaw slack and eyes wide. "I told you she understood." Carlisle whispered knowingly to the shell shocked blonde beside him.
'Edward overreacted, to put it mildly.' I continued, not wanting to get sidetracked into a commentary on my feelings for any of the Cullens. I'm not ready to even contemplate turning over that stone just now. 'He shoved me back, right into a table full of glassware. So, after the rest of the family ran out, to escape the smell of flowing blood, Carlisle, instead of merely staunching the flow of blood from a small cut, was forced to spend the rest of the evening removing the glass shards and suturing half my arm closed. Less than a week later, after ignoring me and my many attempts to draw him out of the odd mood he was determined to wallow in, Edward hauled me out into the middle of a stretch of woods behind my house. He huffed around for a few moments, until my curiosity and irritation grew too strong to ignore. I demanded he tell me what was going on, why he had been so distant. When he finally began speaking it was to tell me that I wasn't good for him and that he was tired of pretending we were compatible. He furthered my growing anguish by telling me that all the family were already gone, so that we could have a clean break with no outside interference. He said it would be as if he never existed, that my human mind was a sieve and would allow my memories of our love to be quickly forgotten and replaced.'
Selfish prick - He never knew me at all if he couldn't recognize that my love for him, as well as his family, was genuine and would most definitely leave a permanent mark on my heart.
'He ran from me when I tried to argue and state my own point of view. Stupidly trying to pursue him, I got lost. Devastated and confused, I wandered for hours calling his name. I begged until my throat was raw, for him to please come back. At some point I fell over a root, hidden by fallen leaves and an ever increasing darkness. I couldn't find the energy or the desire to get back up. I was soaked from the cold rain and largely unaware when one of the Quileutes - a member of the local Indian tribe - found me and carried me home. I saw nothing more of the Cullens, until yesterday. It took two months of me skipping meals and hardly leaving my room for my dad...'
I stopped abruptly and covered my face with my hands as a wrenching, yet silent, sob broke free. I am physically unable to cry out, but my body and my heart are demanding it. I need to scream, need to release this damnable pressure!
Once more I felt Jasper's unnatural calm as it blanketed and dulled my out-of-control emotions. The boiling rage and sorrow slowly degraded and I was able to regain my composure.
'My dad, Charlie, decided he'd watched me hurt myself for long enough. He parked a wooden kitchen chair within two feet of me in whichever room I chose to mope.'
Excluding the bathroom, thankfully.
'He used that chair for days and stared me down until I broke. Aside from the supernatural elements, I told him everything. I told him how swept up I'd become in Edward, with his perfect manners and near obsessive attention. I told him how loved and cared for I'd felt, not just from Edward, but the entire family, and how foolish I felt - having believed them, only to be proven woefully wrong. I poured out my pain and disappointment over the whole situation, from Edward callously dumping me in the woods to his family dropping me like a bad habit - going so far as to change cell numbers and email addresses to avoid contact with me.'
My mind turned back the clock, and suddenly I was there in the living room on the couch with that damn wooden chair blocking my view of late night television. I remembered the green threadbare thermal shirt I wore, the sound of my quavering voice, and the look on my dad's face - concerned but not censuring - the night I gave in and accepted his help.
~He looked at me seriously, not like he thought I was just some silly love sick little girl. He rubbed a hand across his stubbled chin and said, "You know Bells, I think they're losing the most here."
Completely confused, I grunted out a short, "huh?"
He barked out a laugh before leaning forward to look me square in the face. "Bells, I've watched you grow and learn and change your whole life. I may not talk as much as other folks, but that doesn't mean I don't know you inside and out. I've seen you stumble and fall, bend and break, but you've always dragged yourself and got on with the show. I can recognize, from a mile away, the gleam in your eye when you're looking for the answer to some new mystery, and I've watched you chomp down like a bull-dog on a bone till you've found what you're looking for. Now, I've seen my baby fall in love for the first time, and face her first big-life disappointment. But honey, remember who you are. You are a strong, intelligent, tenacious, young woman - no doubt about that - and they are missing out on the opportunity to have you bless and enrich their lives. They might be gone, but I've known and loved you from your very first breath," he said, "and I'll love you after I draw my last. So you've hit a stumbling block." He said dismissively while waving his right hand nonchalantly in the air. "I'm here to help you back up. Just let me in sweetie, and we'll work through this together."~
With a juicy sniff, I focused on the present. I felt a slight displacement of air to my right and by the time my head had fully turned, Jane was blurring into a graceful stop, offering me a tissue. Accepting it gratefully, I quickly put my face back in order.
'I found out, so late, how wonderful my father was. I'd spent so much time viewing him with a child's eyes that I almost missed seeing the real and surprisingly deep layers inside. I leaned on him, and began healing.'
'I also started spending time with my life-long friend Jake again. He provided his own special brand of therapy. Jacob Black, I fully believe, is a walking, talking, earth-bound manifestation of the sun. He is so happy and warm and bright. He always helped me find the brighter side of things.'
Once more my memories pulled me back in time, to the night my best friend's life changed forever. The night he found out the ghost stories are true.
~About a month after my father-daughter breakthrough, Jacob sneaked to my house in the middle of the night. Dad was working, so waking him wasn't an issue, but I was puzzled as to why Jacob had come. He hadn't been feeling well at all, and I knew his dad had ordered him to stay home. I also knew Jacob was going stir crazy, he had said so only hours before. The moment I saw him, standing on my dimly lit front porch, it was obvious something was terribly wrong. I ushered him up to my room and pushed him to sit on the bed. His skin felt like a furnace and his body was sporadically wracked with trembling spasms. He'd been told by his dad to just wait it out, that others in the tribe had caught the same flu-cold whatever it was, and that medicine wouldn't help. Jacob, even though he looked as though he could pass out from exhaustion, rose from the mattress and began restlessly pacing the floor of my tiny room.
"What is that...smell?" He burst out suddenly, his normally soft voice sounding eerily close to a growl.
"What are you talking about, Jake? Everything is the same as it always is!" I insisted. I was beginning to wonder if his fever was making him delusional.
"No, something is very different. Your whole room smells...off. It's burning the shit out of my nose nose! Ugh, this hurts!" He hissed as his body bent double. I rushed to try and comfort him.
"Get away!" He snapped, before my hand even made contact with his shoulder. "I feel like I'm coming apart..." His words came out in a pained gasp. A great shudder rippled through his frame and he leaned out of the open window, sucking in deep lung-fulls of cool night air.
"Jacob, what can I do?" I asked helplessly. "Let me take you to the hospital."
He opened his mouth to answer, but at that same moment, I swear I saw the physical lines of his body begin to blur. Overcome by a jolting spasm, he lost his balance and fell from the window. Gasping, I ran to see if my best friend had survived the fall. Dreading what I would find, I peered down and saw, not Jacob, but a wolf of monstrous size standing right where I knew Jacob should have landed.
"What the...?" I whispered causing the beast's head to snap up, and in that moment I knew. These weren't the eyes of an animal. They were the eyes of the boy I had known since we were toddlers making mud pies.
These were the terrified, near panicked eyes of Jacob Black.
"Jacob," I whispered to the gargantuan wolf whining in agitation on my lawn, "can you understand me?"
He studied me for a moment before nodding his head.
"Looks like the legends were for real, huh?"
He huffed and turned his head away. I don't think he liked my little joke. I hurriedly made my way outside and rounded the house. He appeared larger still from this vantage point, but I knew that inside that wolf was my friend, and he needs me. Inching closer, I finally got near enough that I could touch his trembling frame. He jolted the moment my hand-made contact with his shoulder. "Shhh, it's o.k. Jake. You're going to be alright." This time he didn't move away. I rubbed his neck and shoulders and slowly his tremors faded. After another minute he shifted so that I could easily reach his head and ears which I dutifully scratched. My eyes watched as his abdomen stretched to accommodate a giant sigh. Calm must have been the key, for as soon as he fully let go of his panic I was assaulted with the image of an abnormally large and very naked Jacob Black. I had never been so thankful for poor night vision in my life! Redder than a prize tomato I hastily told Jacob I would grab a pair of Charlie's baggy sweats for him and darted back into the house.
Jacob pulled on the grey sweat pants I tossed his way, and I averted my eyes until he told me he was decent. At that moment a twig snapped in the distance. We both whirled around to see Embry Call come walking out of the woods in nothing but a pair of black cut-off shorts. He, like Jake, was barely recognizable. His face looked older, harder, and his body was no longer that of a gangly teen but the physique of a fully matured, well muscled man.
"So, welcome to Sam's gang." He said to Jacob warily.
"What?" Jacob choked out.
"Sam was the first wolf to change, then Jared and Paul. I was the newest until...well, you know."
"But why?" Jacob whispered, still struggling to make truth out of legend.
"Vampires."
As the word left his mouth Embry shot me an apologetic glance, though there was nothing that would have kept Jacob from the truth once he remembered the other half of the legend pertaining to Spirit Warriors, Wolves, and Cold Ones.
I could see the wheels turning in my friends eyes, who had also looked to me when Embry did, and I saw the awful moment when the pieces of the puzzle lurched into place.
His eyes returned to my window, the very one he had fallen through not ten minutes before, then to the tree whose branches had a habit of scraping eerily against my window during a storm. With a great leap, he jumped high enough to grab hold of one of the lower branches, hauling his body gracefully behind in a way I'm sure he couldn't have managed before tonight. Lining his body up with the window he swung, sliding effortlessly through the narrow passage into my room. This entire feat of acrobatic prowess was accomplished almost faster than I could blink, and I turned and dashed back into house to see what had him so possessed. I peered into my room and found Jacob sniffing along the floor, stopping suddenly at a spot that always creaked if it was stepped on. He pried back the floor board and reached inside, pulling out a small cardboard box.
"This is what reeks so much." He spat.
Not wanting to see, but unable to tear my eyes away I watched as Jacob tossed the lid aside to reveal a C.D., "Bella's Lullaby by Edward Cullen" clearly visible through the blue jewel case, an envelope that I knew without opening it, contained two plane tickets, and finally the pictures of me, Edward and the Cullens that had been stolen from my scrapbook. My heartbeat echoed furiously in my ears, the pressure in my head making it hard to think clearly.
"Charlie and I have been killing ourselves trying to make you happy - get you past him - and you are hoarding this shit to keep him close to you? What the hell Bella?"
He stood quickly, tossing the boxes contents carelessly as he stalked over to my position, still frozen in the doorway. With his newly acquired height he towered over me, his building rage seeming to inflate his over-large new body even further.
True, my progress has been slow, but my effort to put Edward Cullen behind me is sincere. Seeing his perfect face, staring back at me from the now half-crumpled picture on the floor, flooded me with emotion. I do still miss him as well as his family.
"You don't care about anyone but yourself do you?" Jacob spoke coldly. "You screamed in your sleep for weeks and Charlie had to listen on helpless, while you tore yourself apart for someone who doesn't want you anymore. Were you lying to him, to us? You said you were letting him go, but it sure doesn't look like it, does it now, Bella?"
I shook my head, intending to disagree, but before I could respond he was raging once more. "You'd throw us away in a heartbeat for that...leech," His teeth gleamed menacingly as he ground out the word, "wouldn't you?"
I lifted my watery eyes to see that Jacob was shaking violently all over and in that moment the strain was too much for me. Having him, one of my only supporters through this mess, doubt me and knowing that the end result would be disastrous if he were to lose his human form this close to me - but unable to comprehend how to go about soothing him - I snapped.
"I didn't know it was there!" I screamed furiously, immediately feeling the painful repercussions that followed in the wake of strained vocal chords.
"I didn't know...I didn't know...I didn't know..." I repeated, quieter and quieter, sinking to my knees with my head bowed, until my voice was barely a whisper.
"But you did know they were vampires." He growled back. "You used me to get the information you were looking for."
"Back up, Jake." Embry's voice demanded suddenly from behind my back in the hallway. Surprisingly, Jacob's feet shuffled out of view.
I felt a wave of warmth surround me as Embry knelt and placed his hand on my back. He waited until I had calmed myself before taking my elbow and helping me up. I looked once more to Jacob who had sat down on my bed with his head in his hands, his inky black hair spilling haphazardly over his bare shoulders. I realized how hard this all must be for him at the moment. His whole life has been turned upside down. He's been there for me, and I'm determined to be there for him. I walked over slowly, not wanting to surprise him and ran my hand slowly from the crown of his head to the base of his neck, which I squeezed gently in a comforting manner. With the fingers of my other hand I combed absently through some of the glossy black curtain that was hiding his face from me. After a few moments he dropped his hands and raised his head. His trouble eyes only looked at me long enough to utter the words, "Oh Bella," before throwing his massive, scorching arms around my waist, burying his face in my abdomen and sobbing.~
'We reached uncharted territory when he shifted into a wolf before my eyes one night.' I signed for the benefit of my audience. Caius only made it to the word wolf, before he abandoned his translation to snap at me.
"Your friend is a werewolf?" I heard the inflection in his voice teetering precariously between anger and concern.
"Ah, brother," Aro interjected, earning a glare from his agitated co-ruler. "I wonder if I might respond to your inquiry in Isabella's stead."
"I don't care who answers me," Caius ground out, near murderously, "so long as I find out how she came to associate so closely with a werewolf, as to be in the immediate vicinity while he undergoes the change! She could have been infected or killed!"
"Peace, dear brother, I do believe she was perfectly safe." Aro offered cajolingly, although his manner did not appear to penetrate Caius' angry haze.
"And just how did you reach that conclusion, oh all-knowing Aro?" The strikingly blonde vampire sniped back.
"Carlisle Cullen." Aro continued on, unruffled by the venom in his brother's tone. "He has been familiar with these creatures for three-quarters of a century. I have all the information we require on this species, but have not had time to adequately address the subject with you as of yet. Will my opinion on the subject suffice now, brother?" Aro finished somewhat testily.
If he was waiting for an answer, it sure didn't look like he would be getting one anytime soon. Caius continued glaring, but made no further outbursts.
"Very well," Aro sighed theatrically. "The highly abridged version is that select members of the Quileute nation are able to shift forms. This phenomenon only occurs if they possess the correct genetic makeup, never as a result of infection. Shifting is performed at will, though sometimes spontaneously as well, if they happen to be suffering from great tension or anger. Transformations are also not affected my the moon in any capacity. It appears their sole purpose is to protect the people of their tribe. Carlisle, after vowing that he and his family had no intention of hunting people on their lands, reached a peaceful agreement pertaining to the Cullen's habitation of the neighboring land."
All throughout Aro's explanation Caius remained rigid and silent, so I tentatively slipped my hand into his and gave it a small squeeze. His hard red eyes fell to me and studied my face for a moment before they dropped lower, to the marks on my throat. "Did your wolf do this?" He asked darkly, dropping my hand to trace a finger along the uppermost line of scarring.
Keeping my eyes locked with his, I shook my head and mouthed, 'No.'
He immediately visibly deflated, right before my eyes. He leaned forward causing his white-blond hair to form a curtain around my face as he rested his cool forehead on mine. He took a deep breath in, and slowly released it. He repeated this process two more times before straightening, nuzzling the tip of my nose softly with his as he stood.
"You did not deserve my anger. I am sorry for losing my temper." He spoke earnestly, though I completely understand the reason behind his upset. I'd seen first hand what a werewolf can do to an immortal, even one with centuries of experience in battle. To demonstrate my forgiveness I grasped his hand once more and placed a light kiss upon its back. When I met his eyes again I noticed that they held the spark a very different emotion. Across the room Jasper cleared his throat loudly. Knowing this was not the time or place to address the interesting shift taking place between myself and Caius, I moved back to my interactions with the Quileute wolves.
'We covered a lot of territory in the days following, the Cullens, the reality of my accident in Phoenix, the inner workings of the wolf pack - which I would not have been privy to if one hadn't transformed as he fell from my bedroom window, and the fact that I was the ex-girlfriend of a vampire. Jake and I cleared the air between us, and I was stronger than ever. The next few weeks were pretty quiet. Aside from Leah and Seth joining the pack, not much happened. Well, we did have a scare when their father had a cardiac episode and had to spend a few days in the hospital. I suppose seeing your son AND daughter change into horse-sized wolves in the middle of the living room is not for the faint of heart.'
To my left Caius snorted, ok I guess that was an extreme understatement.
'He recovered in time for Christmas though. They invited me and Charlie, along with the rest of the wolves to a gigantic Christmas feast.'
A flash of dark, sticky blood crossed my mind's eye, causing me to drop my hands and grip my thighs in an attempt to fight back the oncoming tremors. I had never spoken with anyone about what happened next. The wolves knew, but only because they share a pack mind. Noticing my sudden increase in tension, Cauis seated himself beside me and wound his right arm around my waist.
"We are all here for you. Let us share your pain." He entreated. Jane as well, reached over to give my knee a supportive squeeze.
'We decided to reciprocate the invitation for New Years Day.' I continued, steeling my nerves. 'We spent the entire morning cooking, knowing that the pack could easily eat us out of house and home. When it came time to start on the desserts, I couldn't find the bag of apples I'd picked up from the store a few days before. Charlie has asked that I make his favorite - Apple Coffee Cake with Crumble Topping and Brown Sugar Glaze. From the first time I'd made it for him, he'd been hooked. Confused about the wayward apples, I asked my dad if he had moved them. When he told me he hadn't, instead of wasting time hunting them down, I ran out to the store to replace them.'
'I never saw him alive again.' I signed as great hiccuping sobs disrupted my already labored breathing. Even with Jasper's help my heart feels like it is bleeding out my anguish.
'When I hopped out of the truck at home with my replacements, there was a single red apple sitting just to the right of the bottom porch step. It's vibrant color caught my eye, situated as it was against the stark white snow that had been brushed to the side when we cleared the walk that morning. Shrugging, I continued in into the house to escape the cold, blustering wind. After kicking the door closed behind me, I called out to my dad to let him know I was home. He didn't say anything, so I made my way to the kitchen, ready to scold him if he was sneaking food. I will never forget the sight that met me. When I have nightmares, they most always showcase the scene for me over and over again.'
'He was mutilated.' I signed with shaking hands.
'There were whole pieces of him missing, torn away and flung about the room, and so much blood that I was overcome. I hit my hands and knees and violently lost my breakfast. The floor, walls and ceiling were all covered in him. I kept trying to tell myself that this had to be a nightmare, but the smell said otherwise. When I finally tore my eyes away from my dad, I looked back to the door, thinking of the red apple outside, and I saw a message. Written in my father's blood on the back of the door were the words,'
Happy New Year, Love Victoria
'As I shook there on the floor, unable to remove my hands from its now sticky surface, I heard thundering steps ascend the porch stairs. My only comfort was that if it had been Victoria, I would never have heard her coming. Half a second later Jacob burst through the door, took one look at me and heaved a sigh of relief, though he had tears forming in his eyes. He picked me up, blood, vomit, snot, tears and all and held me to his chest as he made his way back outside into the cold. He placed me in the passenger seat of my truck and cranked it to get the heat blowing, before walking back into the house for about a minute - maybe two. When he returned he told me he'd called the police and that he would be here with me the whole time. It was then I noticed that he'd grabbed some of Charlie's clothes. They were the largest available and though they didn't fit him perfectly they would stand out far less than wearing nothing but shorts in the middle of winter. The rest of the day passed in a blur. Members of the pack came and went, as did police and the coroner. All the while I sat there in my truck, staring at that happy red apple, knowing that somewhere close-by Victoria was just as cheerful, reveling in my pain.'
'I moved to the reservation that night. I couldn't bring myself to go back into the house. Though most of the pack weren't thrilled, they appreciated not having to branch their patrols far enough out to encompass my house, like they would have been if I had stayed there. The following morning, Sam and I went over who Victoria was and why she would purposely seek me out this way. I told him that Jasper insisted that she was the mate of the vampire that bit me, but Edward had sworn her thoughts betrayed nothing to prove Jasper's conclusion. Two days later I received a package. It was a large cardboard envelope. Inside I found a letter and a dozen 8x10 photographs of my mother and Phil. Victoria had tortured them extensively and listed each method in her letter. The photos represented her favorite parts of the process.'
I hung my head, allowing my guilt to smother me. Caius had insisted, just the past evening, that nothing would have stopped Edward from approaching me. Given the events set in motion due to my association with the Cullens however, I know many wish he had drained me that first day. My mom and Phil were not Victoria's last victims.
"Bella, surely you know that if anyone is to blame its me." Jasper's voice began from across the room. "I should have said more, done more to make the family understand about Victoria, though I never thought if she came for retribution that she would take it out on you. I'm so sorry. I know there's nothing I can do to make things right, but I won't stop trying to make up for my past actions - all of them."
'There were many choices, from the beginning to the end, any of us could have made that would each have altered the resulting path. There is no going back. What's done is done.' I signed back with somewhat abrupt gestures, my nerves too raw to acknowledge or refute his perceived culpability.
After relaying my message, Caius icily added his own. "While I appreciate your concern and assistance this evening, you will kindly not interrupt again. This is obviously difficult enough for her without making her feel sorry for you on top of everything else she is experiencing at the moment Mr. Whitlock, I'm sure you understand."
While I knew Jasper only said what he did to try to make me feel better, I desperately wanted to get all of this over, so I pushed on.
'Her next victims were practically children. Since she couldn't get me unprotected, she started snagging easy, yet memorable targets. Colin and Brady had only been wolves for days when we woke up one morning to find their heads mounted on stakes in Jacob's back yard. The wolves, outraged and looking to me with accusation in their eyes, were at a loss as to how she could make it through their defenses so easily. She seemed to have a gift that aided her in evading detection. Next she killed the Alpha's mate and unborn baby.' I shared, unwilling to supply further details.
~Many of the wolves never spoke to me again after they lost Emily - the alpha's fiancé, who had been expecting their first baby - She had left the reservation only long enough to drive to Forks for items that couldn't be found locally, a trip she made only once a month, but this time she never made it home. Her car was found on the side of the road, wrapped around a tree. It appeared as though her body had been ejected and thrown into the river below, but the wolves knew different. They picked up her scent and were in the process of tracking it back in the direction of the reservation, but I found her first. Not knowing of the frantic search being conducted, I decided to take a short walk. The path was well worn, and in plain view of many houses. It was also in close proximity to the patrol lines that the wolves covered, so I always felt safe enough getting out to stretch my legs for a few minutes at a time. I had almost reached the Clearwater's, my turning point, when I saw her. Her face was a frozen, macabre mask of horror, her ruined throat crusted with drying blood. If not for the tiny trail of vibrant scarlet drops leading to her position behind a large bush, I would never have known she was there.
Moments later three wolves exploded from the forest. Sam, Jacob, and Paul shifted quickly upon reaching the scene. An inhuman howl, torn straight from his broken heart, loosed itself from the depths of Sam's chest. One need not be a wolf to hear the sorrow in his tone. Sam's despair was articulated and telegraphed clearly to the entire reservation. He knelt beside her and gingerly eased the few wayward tendrils of hair from her face. Heaving sobs tore from his giant frame but he continued his attentions to the center of his now crushed and desolate universe. He stroked the scars of her face, the ones he himself had inflicted while his wolf was young and volatile. His fingers swept down the column of her throat, bypassing the ragged flesh torn during her fatal attack. His sobs transitioned into apologetic murmurs. "I'm so sorry Emily" he said. "Ive failed you in so many ways, and now..." his deep voice faltered as he choked on his grief, "now I've lost everything good I ever had in my life." Continuing its journey down the body of the woman, who could now never return the loving gesture, his large brown hand rested momentarily on her silent heart. "I swear to you now, I will not stop - will never rest -until I have seen your murderer burned. I promise you Emily, I promise." Moving one final time, his hand found a position between the two of hers. Feeling the loose skin Emily had been trying to protect, which had only half an hour earlier been firm and round - full of their child - finally broke the alpha. He leaned over her body, placing his head on the abandoned womb and gave in to his sorrow.
Turning away from the heartbreak in front of him, internally fighting against the pain of his own loss, Paul's hard eyes found mine. The lonely wolf, the troubled young man who trusted no one - save Emily - was practically pushing his words of blame straight into my brain. I didn't need to hear. I could see plainly the hate and pain my presence has caused to be born within him. Tremors broke out along his arms, their strength of which caused ripples to dance across Paul's substantial chest. It wasn't until a low, menacing growl became audible that Jacob turned, from the sight of Sam mourning so desolately, to jump and collide with Paul's body as Paul phased in mid-air. I could feel the heat of the wolf's breath brush my face, he had gotten so close. With a giant shove, one no-other in the pack could have accomplished, Jacob threw Paul back. The grey wolf rose, undaunted from his course, until Jacob's voice, ringing with an authority he had never before vocalized, commanded him to stop. Paul never stopped growling, though his body was pinned mercilessly to the ground, confined by the weight of an order from his new Alpha. Jacob looked to me then, his eyes carrying a new depth of sadness and strain and simply said, 'come.' With that he walked away, stopping to place his hand on Sam's back and whisper in the broken man's ear. Shaking his head in response, Sam reached out and gathered his love into his arms and we made our way into the forest leaving Paul behind. I dared not break the silence to ask where we were going. Minutes later we emerged again, approaching the side of Sam and Emily's house. Sam suddenly dropped to his knees, though he kept a tight hold on Emily and began screaming 'Noooooo! Noooooo!' His head was thrown back, tendons and blood vessels straining from both the volume and the pressure. Heart beating madly, I looked toward the house. Laying upon the front porch was a tiny lump of red. Horrified anew by what I was seeing, I gave up the fight to stay strong and sank down on the wet grass, letting the tears come. These lives, this family, were all targeted because of me. Through my glassy eyes, I saw Jacob return to Sam after retrieving the callously discarded baby and kneel in front of him. More quiet words were exchanged between the two as Jacob reached out his free arm to envelop the broken family. The two wolves held each other, the lifeless pressed reverently between them, and shared their sorrow. One by one, gliding like avenging spirits from the trees, the pack arrived in response to their pack mate's distress. Each joined the group with no words spoken, slowly forming a circle around their old and new Alpha. I stayed where I belonged, on the outside looking in.~
I threw my arms around Caius, desperately needing physical comfort, as the memory of my sorrow and guilt hit me like it was only yesterday. I couldn't communicate to him just how much seeing Sam holding Emily and the baby had hurt me. I had experienced mourning for my own family - my parents, but seeing what the pain of losing a life partner and child had done to Sam - to the pack, haunts me still. Caius held me securely and questioned tentatively, "Do you need to stop? You need not continue right now if you need to rest."
Not wanting to drag out the pain any longer than necessary, I shook my head no. I want to have this done.
'A few days after Emily and the baby's funeral the wolves picked up the scent of a new vampire. This one was not as careful as Victoria and they were able to follow him.' I looked to Jane though my hands remained in Caius' view. 'They saw the Volturi destroy a group of vampires that had been hiding out in a secluded house on the outskirts of Seattle. The wolves had gotten close enough to hear the vampire they tracked, Riley, yelling at the group he referred to as newborns, telling them their time had come. In two days they would destroy the wolves that had thwarted their mistress. The pack members present, who were returning home to report, were only just within hearing range when the screaming began. They crept close enough to see four black-cloaked figures completely destroy the group. Not knowing what to make of this development, they returned to share the information. I was able to tell them that what they had most likely seen was the Volturi. I explained your function in the vampire world, and coupling that with the discovery of the newborns and the mass of missing persons cases in Seattle, we were able to put all the pieces together. Victoria had kept us so busy with our personal losses, that we never thought to associate the rapidly expanding pack and local crime rates with large numbers of new local vampires. At this point everyone was ready to celebrate. The pack all wanted to believe that Victoria had been preset in the house when the Volturi arrived, because they found no further sign of her on their patrols.'
'I made the decision to leave the reservation, move on with my life, and I asked Jacob to take a walk with me so we could iron out the details. We were sitting on top of our favorite cliff, made so popular by the local's obsession with cliff diving, when we heard the growling and angry yips of wolves in the forest nearby. Jacob stood, and was just about to phase, when a blur of white and flaming red struck him violently in the side. I heard the sickening crunch as many of his bones cracked from the force of her assault. I watched helplessly as his large form carved a small crater as it was ground into the soft, damp soil. Even though I had known it was a possibility, I was still struck dumb by the sight before me. Standing gracefully from her tackle was none other that a triumphantly grinning Victoria.'
~Before I could track her movement, her pale form flashed forward and the back of her rigid right hand connected with my cheek. My head snapped sharply to the left as white hot pain exploded in my head and neck. I stumbled back and met the rough, cutting bark of a tree. Instantly, Victoria was directly before me again. She grabbed a handful of my hair from the back middle of my scalp and wrenched back hard enough that I felt sections of hair give way and separate from my head. I cried out as she readjusted her grip and forced me within inches of her malevolently twisted face. "Pathetic, weak and fragile," she whispered to me in her angel-song voice. "Don't worry, I'll soon solve that problem for you." Releasing me abruptly she took a few steps away before asking, "Which one killed James? They will all pay, but I want to know who to thank...personally" She finished with a twisted smirk.
I said nothing.
"Oh sweetie, now we can do this the easy way," she told me, "where you end up merely dead and forgotten, your mediocrity no longer a blemish on the world around you, or we can do this the hard way. I will gladly show you the same loving care I bestowed on your parents, and believe me, by the time I'm done, I will know every scrap of information you have ever digested in your minute little existence."
Still I said nothing.
"Very well," she sighed as if suffering a great disposition, "I suppose I should take you someplace more special for the coming attraction. It wouldn't do to be interrupted by your doggie defenders, now would it?" She asked as she slinked in my direction once more.
I watched with barely restrained panic, as her hand reached forward, this time seemingly in slow motion, only to be interrupted from its course when a large silver form caught her shoulder and mercilessly slammed her, repeatedly, into the ground. As the wolf, Paul, growled and beat the demon vampire, a smaller silver wolf - which I knew to be Leah, joined him. Paul then released Victoria, who had gone limp. He moved toward her head and was reaching for it, his gaping jaws dripping, when Victoria deftly rolled underneath Leah and grabbed her. Victoria squeezed brutally and a strangled yelp tore forth from a shocked Leah. Her snapping ribs sounded to me like thick twigs, breaking under the strain of heavy ice accumulation. Throwing the she-wolf's body to the ground as she emerged, Victoria used Leah as a springboard to pounce on Paul. She landed with precision on his back and before he could reach back to drag her down, she dealt a single sharp blow. With a nauseating pop, his body crumpled like a marionette whose strings have been cut. She had broken his back. Victoria turned to me once more and the burning hate smoldering in her fiery eyes told me that my time had come. She didn't bother with speed. She triumphantly sauntered closer, her smile widening with ever step. My heart pumped furiously in my chest and I was undeniably terrified, but I refused to give her the satisfaction of seeing either fear or grief on my face as I met my destiny. She was two steps away from me when she was pulled away yet again, this time by two large brown hands. She may have underestimated the healing time required by the wolves, but Jacob was no match for her lightning speed in his human form. She grabbed his hands where they lay on her upper arms and with a swirling twitch of her stone body, slung him over the edge of the cliff.
Now furiously fixed on me for the third time, she missed what I did not. I locked my eyes determinedly on her approaching form. I could not give away any inkling of what was coming. There was no smile on her sadistic face this time as she screamed in my direction "Why is it so hard to kill you? You should have been nothing more than a small token of revenge for losing my James! I have been forced to skirt around an entire pack of wolves! My newborns, who were created to massacre the furry cretins, were recently decimated by enemies unknown, leaving me no choice but to lay back and lull the pack into a false sense of security. But my time is now, you worthless girl, and I WILL own every drop of your blood. I will take what should have belonged to my James!"
With that she lunged, and so did he. Jacob's strong fingers, still gripping the cliff edge, hoisted his long body over the edge. His form blurred in transition as he streaked through the air. His teeth, now those of a wolf, closed around her head and ripped, the violence of the motion whipping her body from its proximity to mine. I had just registered the coldness of her fingers on the skin of my throat when she was yanked down, fingers gouging deeply as she dropped.
Through the pain and the shock to my system, that losing large amounts of blood quickly causes, I thought of Dad, Mom, Brady, Colin, Emily and her baby. I closed my eyes and felt my life flowing away. I was on my way to join them.~
'Paul, Leah, and Jacob saved me, but Victoria still managed to do this.' I signed before making a half-hearted gesture toward my scars. 'I woke up days later, highly drugged and unable to speak. Jacob was dozing in a chair not far from my bed. When he finally roused from his slumber and noticed my eyes on him, he filled me in on what I had missed. Victoria was most certainly dead. Paul and Leah, though severely injured, would fully recover in time. Sam was dead. He had been the first to cross Victoria's path, and was too blinded by his rage and pain to fight effectively. Jacob told me that Sam's fate was actually a blessing in disguise. That if not quickly in battle, he would have died slowly, wasting away from the pain of losing his imprint. The pack had already witnessed the beginning of this scenario through their link. After I lost consciousness, Seth had arrived and immediately put pressure on my throat to keep as much of the blood flow stemmed as possible. With Seth holding me and Jacob carrying us in wolf form, they had rushed me to the reservation medical center. It was a very close call, Jacob told me. My heart apparently stopped twice during the procedures necessary for me to merely survive the night.'
'When I was able, I signed forms allowing Billy Black - Jacob's father - to deal with the clinic on my behalf. He arranged for them to be paid with my father's meager life insurance money. I was grateful it was available, but I also knew there would be very little left once the medical bill was paid. By the time I was healed enough to be released, I had decided to stick to my original plan to leave. Money or no, I could stay there after all that had happened. Jacob was due to pick me up at 11, so at 8 a.m. I scratched out a note, asking the receptionist to call me a cab. I left that morning with a pilfered notepad and pen and a backpack full of my clothes and personal items. I instructed the cab driver to head for the bank, then the airport. After emptying and closing my account, I booked the first plane I could catch out of the country - Italy it just so happened - all the while astonishingly grateful that my mother had always insisted I keep my passport in my purse at all times.'
'So, here I am.' I finished lamely, avoiding eye contact with my silent and captive audience.
AN: Thanks be to those who have reviewed, followed and favorited! You are awesome and your input means so much to me! Sorry for the lack of fluff, but I needed to get this chapter out there, and it just refused to be fluffy.
Feel free to point out mistakes - I'm exhausted from three consecutive weeks of illnesses -joy- and would not be surprised to find out I missed something - Just please be gentle. :)