During lunch, we were both able to ask our most pressing questions. Harry asked if I could remember anyone… friends, family and so on. It was all a blank for me, but he seemed uneasy when I told him.

He told me of his friends, and some of the adventures they had, but he avoided anything involving me, or his family. I understood his parents are dead but I didn't think anything of it.

Now that the War I can't remember is over, Harry could now think about what kind of future he'd like to have. It must have been hard on him. So much was expected of him. Yet he didn't complain. He just did what he thought he had to do. I was humbled by his acceptance to his fate. He didn't deny what I read in the papers, but he didn't have that cocky hero complex that many get.

This young man was extraordinary. As the days blended together, I felt like I didn't need to remember my past. I was perfectly happy. I brewed potions and started my own side business delivering orders by owl. I kept a journal of all of my thoughts about my current situation. Sometimes, I wake up from nightmares I cannot explain. I sometimes see Harry in them. He's either getting attacked, or I'm shouting at him. There's others I'd rather not like to dwell on. Faces… so many faces and so many negative emotions. The nightmares were growing steadily worse, but as bad as the night is, my days are pleasant. I enjoy talking to Harry, and he even helps me with preparing potions. The smallest praise from me lights up his face.

After a particularly grueling nightmare, I jerk awake as I felt a pressure on my arm. I lash out before my brain has a moment to catch up, but the first thing I realize is that I am not alone. Someone is on my bed facing away from me. I could tell it was Harry, but he was holding his cheek. I panicked as I hastily sit up and flick the lights on with my wand. "Harry." I gently call to him. "Harry. Look at me."

"It's alright. You just caught me by surprise. I should have known better than to startle you."

This wasn't reassuring me. I continued to gently pry his hands away and turn him towards me. When I saw the damage, I immediately hated myself. I struck him. So hard in fact that it split his lip and started the beginnings of a sizable bruise under his eye. His fearful eyes were glistening from unshed tears either from pain or fear. It didn't matter, because I was the cause for both of them. "I'm so sorry Harry. Come on, let's get that looked at." I say gently. I lead him to the bathroom where I diagnose the damage. I heal his lip and prevent swelling in his cheek, but that bruise is going to remain there for a couple of days. He continued to avoid my gaze. I gently touch the bruise. "Does it hurt much?" I asked. He just shakes his head. "Harry look at me. Please." He still looked fearful, but he eventually met my gaze. "Tell me why you're here." There was no delicate way to put that.

He bit his lip. "I've been hearing you. You've been having nightmares. I know I should have just asked you about them, but I didn't know how. Tonight, it sounded especially bad, and I couldn't just sit by. I tried calling out to you, nearly shouting, but you didn't seem to hear me. I tried to shake your arm gently, but that was clearly the wrong thing to do. I'm sorry."

"I'm the one who should be apologizing. I had no idea my nightmares were keeping you up."

"I have my own nightmares to deal with. It's fine."

No it's not fine. Harry explained the link he shared with the Dark Lord, and it may be that he'll have nightmares for the rest of his life. He doesn't need to worry about mine. "I don't know about you, but I could do with a cup of tea. Would you care to keep me company since we're both wide awake?"

Harry nodded, and followed me into the sitting room. He called for Kreacher, the surly elf who was the only other occupant in this place. Soon, we were sitting in silence, drinking our tea by the fire. I look over towards Harry who is staring into the fire. "I'm sorry if this is rude, but I am not able to take Dreamless Sleep due to the other potions I need to take. But why don't you use it?"

Harry smiled sadly, "Because it doesn't work on me. And rather than overusing a potion that is not guaranteed to work, I just let the dreams come. They aren't as bad as before the war. I can handle some sleepless nights. At least… I don't have to worry about my dreams being real."

"Beg pardon?"

"Through the connection. I… used to be able to feel the cruciatus curse whenever it was used, and there were times when my visions were real, and resulted in the deaths and near deaths of people I know and loved." He continued to look off into the fire. This young man has had to go through so much. I knew that I must have had my share of trials, but it almost felt unfair that I virtually have a clean slate compared to him. "What do you dream of." He asked me.

"I don't know. It's mostly about things that confuse me. People I don't remember, and yet… I see things… things I should know… but it frightens me. It's like a dark tunnel that holds all of the answers, but I'm too scared to go down there."

Surprisingly, Harry reached over to grasp my hand. "Severus." I look up at him. "I know what kinds of things are probably plaguing your dreams. I know enough to be pretty sure. Is it horrible of me to say that I wish you never remember what happened? You've led such a hard life, and I can't even tell if you were ever happy. But right now, you smile, you laugh, and you seem to be content. And I just don't want you to lose that."

I could tell there was more in that. "What brought this on?" I ask as I gently stroke his hand.

He looks down. "I just… I don't want your nightmares or your memories to destroy what peace you have. The nurses told me that it's possible that if you do get your memories back, you won't remember this part of your life. I don't want you to forget."

He's still hiding something. Something inside me believes he is saying, I don't want you to forget me. Part of me just wanted to embrace him. "Answer me this, Harry, and please be honest. Comparing our past, who do you feel has led the more difficult life?"

He seemed startled by this question. "You have. No question about it!"

"But why. I know you don't want to go into much detail, but from what I've heard about your life, and piecing things that you won't tell me together makes it hard for me to believe."

"I've only just turned 18. But this war… this battle, you have been fighting on the front lines in the most dangerous of positions before I was even born. From what I know of your past, you didn't have a very good childhood, and it became even worse as you got older. Even so, you never swayed. You never gave up. And you've saved my life more times than I could count."

I nearly blushed under his praise. I knew he was being honest. He looked beautiful in the firelight, and I couldn't help but brush his hair out of his face. "Harry…" I didn't know what to say. "You said we never really got along before. Why? It sounds like we have much in common."

He looked down. "You… uh… let's just say… um… how do I explain this…"

"You don't have to answer that if you don't wish to." He's probably afraid of how I'd treat him afterwards. Apparently I wasn't this gentle.

"It's a fair question. And it's one that I've been trying to answer for myself. But it's just… so complicated."

"I understand."

"I like being… as we are. I like being able to talk to you, and not have to worry about either one of us being in danger."

"That is a good start. I'll see if I can find an alternative potion for both of us to keep the nightmares at bay." Harry looked like he wanted to say something, but kept his mouth shut. "Are you afraid that the first wrong word you say, I'll suddenly remember everything, and lash out at you?"

He looks down, "It has crossed my mind…"

"You're still afraid of me, then?" This made me sad.

"No! It's not that! Not really anyway."

"Then allow me to propose something." I say. I'm being a little sneaky about this. "Do you believe I would keep you safe?"

"…Yes…" He said, clearly not sure where I was going with this.

"Then why not stay here for the rest of the night. I promise you have nothing to fear. All I mean is for a good night's sleep. We both need it." Harry looked at the couch, thinking about it. But I had somewhere else in mind. "You are welcome to the couch, but that monstrous bed is large enough to accommodate the both of us. Again, I mean no offense."

Harry's face turned a delightful shade of red. Though he nodded anyway. We silently moved towards the bedroom and slid into the covers. Already I felt more at ease. But the tenseness of Harry's back told me he wasn't. I reached over and lightly rubbed his arm. "Harry. You don't have to force yourself to stay." I told him as he seemed to tense more at my touch. Slowly, he turned around.

"I'm sorry Severus. We've been living together for a while now, and I still don't know how to act around you."

"Well, I hope you can be yourself at some point. Not the skittish little bunny." Harry chuckled at that. "I know you don't want to tell me anything negative. But if I ask some questions, would you be able to just give me a yes or no answer?" Harry nodded. "Have I ever hurt you, before this accident tonight?"

Harry went tense again. "Yes."

I didn't like that. "Physically?" He nodded. "Emotionally?" Another nod. "Was I ever sorry for doing it?"

Harry bit his lips and looked down. "No…" No wonder he was so afraid of me. I must really have been some sort of tyrant.

"Did I scare others?"

"Yes."

I forced him to look back up at me. "Then why do you help me? Is it out of pity?"

"No." He said while shaking his head. "Understanding."

My heart warms at that. I smile at him as I pull some of his hair away from his face. "Ask me some questions. Help ease yourself with who I am right now. Time will tell whether or not things change with my memories. But right now, I'm here, as I am. And you don't know me. Ask the questions that you've been burning to ask. Please."

Harry thought for a moment. "Are you happy?"

I smile. "As far as I can tell, yes. Though I wouldn't be opposed to going out once in a while."

Harry smiled at that. "What will you do if you don't get your memories back?"

"I suppose I'll carry on as I have been. I see no need for any drastic changes anytime soon. If what you say is true and I've lived a hard life, then I believe a simple life is just what I need."

Harry's smile grew, but then it faded. "What if you do get your memories back and you forget all of this?"

"That's as much of a mystery to me as it is to you. I suppose… I will have to read the journal I've been writing in and make up my mind then."

"Would you be willing to meet my friends?"

"Would they be willing to meet me might be the better question. I also thought no one was supposed to know I survived." I look at him quizzically.

"The affairs at the Ministry are nearing conclusion. It'll be another couple of months before it's safe to take you out of hiding, but in the meantime, I thought you would like some different company from time to time. I don't want you to get sick of seeing me all the time." I know he meant it to be teasing, but I could tell that was a more honest statement than he would admit.

"I can't think of anyone I'd rather be holed up with." I say honestly. It's revealing a bit much, but seeing the blush on his face was worth it. "Some different faces might be a good thing. Not all the time, but I wouldn't mind small get togethers once in a while."

Harry bit his lip again, contemplating his next question. "Would you… please tell me if I do something wrong? I mean… uh… if I annoy or offend or something… I just…I'm not explaining this right…"

I chuckled, "You mean if you speak or act in a way I disapprove, to let you know, is that it?" He nods, not trusting his voice. "If you speak of something I do not wish to hear or talk about, I will let you know. If you do something that offends, I will gently tell you. I will never yell at you unless there is an absolutely good reason for it such as a life threatening situation, which I pray we don't have."

Harry seemed to ease up at this. "I think that's what I really needed to hear." With that, he eased his head onto the pillow.

"For what it's worth. I'm sorry. For all of it. For everything I can't remember."

Harry looked at me, "That's like apologizing for someone else's wrongdoings. It doesn't really count."

He's right, but still. "I'm sorry I have a bastard as my evil twin."

Harry laughed at that. We both settled down, and sleep quickly took us both.