Over the next week, sleeping in the same bed almost became a ritual. It was not intimate, just necessary. It appeared to be working since neither of us seemed to be having any more nightmares but I was faced with a different problem. Every night, I want to kiss Harry goodnight. And every night, I start having dreams about the two of us together. And every morning, I wake with a painfully hard erection that I cannot blame on usual morning happenings.

It's not just lust I feel for him. I want to hold Harry. I want to cuddle with him on the couch in front of the fire. This simple life would be bliss if he was mine. But I can tell, even though he is more comfortable with me, he still regards me with some form of trepidation.

I'm still trying to come up with a different potion that would help with the nightmares though. If anything, it's for Harry. I know he's not comfortable being in my bed, and his sleep is still troubled. Without him knowing, I've taken to lightly holding him from behind as he sleeps. He seems to calm down a bit, and I can swiftly move away if he were to wake. But I also end up resting my head against his. I smell his hair and kiss the top of his head, and make believe we are actually an item. Yet I've seen the many scars on my body, and the face in the mirror is well past its prime.

Finally, the day came when Harry would invite his friends over. He's told me that he's already told them of my condition, but it feels strange meeting people who feel like they already know you and don't like you. Harry's reassured me that this group will give him the benefit of the doubt. As I walk with him down the stairs, I can hear voices in the main sitting room. Upon entering, I see only three individuals. At least it was less than I was expecting. Surely I can handle three people for an afternoon. The older man comes up to me.

"Good day to you Severus. I suppose you need an introduction. Remus Lupin at your service." He extends his hand which I shake. I couldn't find anything familiar about him, but I couldn't help but notice the fresh scars on his face. He apparently knew what I was looking at. "Ah yes, well. I'm also a werewolf. Have been for years. And it's been you who have helped me cope with it by the potions you've invented. I know it must be strange for you with all of this. Harry has told us the basics of your condition. If you have any questions, we are all willing to help in any way we can." With that, he stepped back so that the younger people could introduce themselves. I already felt irritated with the red head, but I couldn't understand why. I shook their hands and learned their names, Ron and Hermione.

As we sat down to tea, we all fell into an easy line of conversation. Ron and Hermione were updating Harry on their lives and directions while Remus talked about his newly appointed role in the Ministry thanks to someone called Kingsley. Harry stood to get more tea and a more substantial lunch underway while his friend went with him to lend a hand.

"What troubles you, my friend?" I hear Remus ask next to me. "You've hardly spoken this whole time."

"I just don't know what to do. Between Harry and everything I've heard… I'm not a well liked individual. How am I supposed to act?"

"With a grain of salt. I can tell you that I've known you since our days in school. Yet I've never seen you so calm."

"Harry is afraid that I'll regain my memories and I'll forget we were ever cordial. What say you to that?"

"I'd say it's a valid fear. All of us… we share the most complicated web of connections. You… how shall I put this. Your treatment of Harry and everyone was well… justified. If I had to label it. I know Harry doesn't want me to tell you about it, but despite everything, he respects and admires you. I have my own set of dark memories I wish to forget. Some of them do involve you. But I've learned to accept when others have forgiven me, and I know who my true friends are. I believe Harry wishes to be someone you can call a 'friend'. Don't tell him I told you though. He would kill me for admitting it." He smirked.

I couldn't help but return the smirk. I knew that Harry wants that. So do I. I've been writing everything in my journal. I still don't know the heart of his worries, but I hope to learn of them soon. I will not ask it from anyone else. "I honestly don't know what will happen. Can you tell me what's your main relation to him?"

"In a way, I would be considered his godfather. The man I loved was his official godfather, but… I suppose you can say he was a casualty of the war."

"I'm sorry."

He chuckled. "You wouldn't be if you remembered who it was. Still, I'm glad to accept the condolence. It hasn't been easy for anyone. The war has changed us all. You most of all. I'm glad to see you so relaxed."

"What type of relation did we have?"

"It's complicated."

I was tired of hearing this answer. "If you didn't like me, just say so."

"It's not that. My love, he influenced how I thought of people for a long time. I finally stood up to him and he learned not to be so controlling. Yet he was still overbearing most of the time. I suppose you could call him an acquired taste. Even so, I really did wish you and I had a better relationship. At school and as men. I would like to have intellectual conversations over a glass of brandy or some such scenario."

I thought about it. "That actually sounds ideal. And let me tell you something that I've told Harry. I don't know what sort of man I was. And I don't know what the future will hold. But I'm willing to get to know those around me if they are also willing to do the same."

He extends his hand again. "Then we are in accord." I shake his hand again. It feels nice having friends. "How is your potion brewing?"

"As well as I can imagine."

"Could I trouble you for possible help on the brewing of my Wolfsbane? I can pay you for your time and efforts. It's just that the supply you gave me last time is nearly running out."

"And you trust me to brew this complex potion with the same precision as I used to?"

"I would trust no other."

That sold me. "Then I would be happy to help." I was hoping he wasn't getting close to me just so he could ask me for a favor.

"I know, as payment, I can acquire some potions ingredients I know to be quite rare. The Ministry has excellent resources for unlisted items."

I laughed. "Make that government work, eh?" We both laughed as the other three finally came in with trays of sandwiches and finger foods. It looked like a banquet. I guess this could be considered a bit of a celebration.

I joined in more of the conversations after that. The other two felt more comfortable to talk to me. Hermione appeared to be very bright. Ron still seemed a little weary.

The afternoon appeared to be a huge success. When they left in the early evening, Harry turned to me. "How are you doing?"

"Quite well." I look at him. "Are you surprised?"

He blushed a little, "In a way, yes. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you why."

Indeed. "Would you be opposed to a light supper and a game of chess to wind down the evening?"

Harry gave a brilliant smile. "I would love that. I'll get started on the preparations then." Harry left to the kitchen and I couldn't help but snicker seeing the boy in his apron. He's proven to be an exceptional cook. I truly thought that I did have the ideal life in that moment. I will be sure to express so in my journal this evening.