The weeks went by faster than both of us thought possible, but then came the day of my liberation. I was officially cleared of all charges Death Eater related, and have been awarded the Order of Merlin First Class. My survival of the final battle was made public, but my condition was kept under wraps. As such, the buzz of the media soon died down around me. But it meant that I could get out of the house. And another option that the two of us were avoiding on discussing… was that I could move out now that the government have unfrozen my assets.

The truth was, I didn't want to leave. Harry is still weary around me at times, but we live quite comfortably. Harry has been taking extra classes by owl, trying to get a feel for what he wants to do with the rest of his life. I continue my potions and research. Life is simple, but good.

One evening, the two of us are sitting on my sitting room couch and we're both reading by the fire. Some movement out of the corner of my eye draws my attention as I see Harry rub his neck and wince in pain. He is quite stiff, and I can see a lump on his shoulder, indicating some swelling in his muscles. "Are you alright?"

Harry immediately pulls his hand away as though he was caught doing something wrong. "What? Oh. I'm fine." He nearly spluttered.

"If your shoulder is bothering you, you could just tell me." He never wanted to tell me when he was in pain, or in discomfort. "I could get you a potion for the pain."

"It's nothing. Really. It's just a pulled muscle. I'm fine." He tried to go back to reading.

"Poppycock. Turn around." I scooted closer to Harry, coming up close behind him. His tense frame grew even more rigid as I placed my hands on his shoulders. As I start rubbing the sore muscles, I watch Harry's head start to sag and his shoulders begin to relax. I rub his neck and massage around his shoulder blade, releasing the knots I find. To my amusement, Harry is trying to suppress his little moans of pleasure.

My long fingers comb through his hair, massaging the scalp, and Harry is less than quiet now. His neck is so close I could kiss it. His hair is so soft, I just love the feel of it running through my fingers. As an experiment, I lightly scratch my nails down his neck, and I feel the responding shiver. I better stop. I'm at risk of showing him my affections too much. His eyes are closed, and his lips are parted. They are begging to be kissed.

It was then that I realized I was in trouble. I was two seconds away from forcing myself on Harry. The kindest soul. I abruptly stand up and head over to the fire. I know what I must do, and it tears at me. "Perhaps it is time I moved on." I force myself to say.

"What?" Harry asked, coming out of his daze.

"I do not wish to be a burden any longer. I… think I've overstayed my welcome."

Harry was silent behind me, and I didn't like that. I heard him get up while saying, "As you wish." But it sounded so resigned. So sad. My leaving makes him sad?

I heard him quietly head for the door. "Harry, wait!" I call out to him as he reached for the knob of the door. He didn't turn it, but he didn't turn around either. I came up behind him. "You have been so kind to me. More than I'm sure I or anyone would deserve. But I can't ignore what I'm feeling any more. I don't wish to offend you. But I… I want to be close to you Harry. I know I am old enough to be your father, and what I say may disgust you. But I can't see you in my bed at night without wishing we could be more. I want to hold you and cherish you. But the last thing I want to do is force myself on you."

Harry let go of the knob, but he didn't turn around. "I know you've been holding me close at night, when you think I'm asleep. I… want us to be more as well… but… my mind is full of 'what if's'. What if you get your memory back. What if you don't. What if you forget about this time. What if you don't. How could we be more when I'm so full of doubt?" His shoulders started to shake. I knew it was because he was crying.

I couldn't stay back. I wrapped my arms around him and held him close. "I wish I had the answers you seek. I wish I could reassure you." Harry clung onto my arms as though his life depended on it. "Tell me Harry. Please tell me how I was. Tell me how I treated you. Tell me what I can do to ease your burden."

After a moment of silence, Harry pulled away from my embrace. He appeared to be deep in thought as he moved to the mantle. He dried his eyes and looked into the flames. He took a deep breath and then he spoke, "First of all, you might be feeling this way since we've been living together and you've been cooped up here for months. For me though… I feel as though I've found what I've been missing for so long. But it's not… I can't believe in it with all these uncertainties. The man you once were… hated me for my very existence. Because I look like my father. A man who tormented you in your school days. You were cruel. Your words hurt me more than any physical blow. You thought me weak and inept. You made several students cower under your gaze."

I was shocked to hear this. No wonder Harry was always nervous around me. I remembered the things he told me before. It didn't feel like that was the type of person I am or was. But that didn't matter now. Harry remembers for me. He knew me before, and he knows me now. I think about that time when I accidentally hit him from waking out of a nightmare. The one memory I regret the most. But the words I heard next made me even more morose.

"Perhaps you should leave."

I know I was the one who suggested it first, but to hear it from him…

"At least… we should both try. You're always welcome here. But you need to try to live out in this new world. As do I. We can decide where to go from there. For now. I just think it's unwise to go any further."

He was wise. He's probably expecting I'll regain my memories when out in the world, and he'll be far away from the backlash. But it still didn't sit well with me. I gently turned him so that he was facing me. "I will go. But not right away. I will go out into the world, and see what I may, but I need a place to come back to. Allow me to reside here at night, and I will spend my days out in the world. Would that suffice?" I don't think I could sleep without his presence near. And I think he feels the same.

He gently nods, and I couldn't help but pull him into my embrace. He relaxes against me as I rest my head on top of his. We just fit.

To lighten the mood, I try to joke, "If I do get my memories back, and I don't remember this time, you have my full permission to kick my ass while I wreck havoc on his mind." Harry thankfully laughed at that. "I can't believe I would simply just forget everything. I have to believe. I have to believe there is a chance that this part of me will remain."

Harry held onto me as the air was thick with the tension of an uncertain future. We silently got ready for bed, and I continued to shield him from the oppressive aura of doubt. Tomorrow… I will face the world.