III. In the Distance

Lily checked her wristwatch after noticing that the sky had darkened outside.

"We'll be there in less than thirty minutes. Shouldn't we clean this up?"

Though Lily's mountainous pile of snacks had long been eaten, the compartment's occupants now faced an equally mountainous pile of rubbish. Remus smiled guiltily at the sight and briefly amused himself with the thought of transforming at the next full moon with a mouth full of cavity-riddled fangs.

"Don't worry about it," Severus assured Lily. "I'm sure it's somebody's job to tidy up after us once we're gone."

"That's still a bit impolite, in my opinion..."

"We won't be the only ones who made a mess," Remus pointed out. "Besides, wizards use magic to do their cleaning. We haven't made extra work for anyone if they already plan to clean the entire train, you know?"

"Well... okay." Remus greatly empathized with the lingering uncertainty on Lily's face—it was quite hard to break a years' long habit. "We still need to get changed soon, though. Remus and I are still in our Muggle clothes."

Severus nodded his agreement, and convinced Remus that they should exit compartment to give Lily some privacy while she redressed. However, this meant that Remus and Severus soon found themselves standing in awkward silence in the corridor.

"So, er." Severus seemed as bad at making conversation as Remus was, if not worse. "How come you've got those scars on your face?"

"Er." Remus had to think of either a very good lie or a way to avoid the question. "It's an embarrassing story, really."

"What'd you do?" Severus grinned timidly. "Leave milk out for a knarl?"

Remus laughed like he'd hit the nail on the head, deciding to depreciate himself instead of telling him the real story.

"I suspected it was a knarl, in my defense. I just wanted to see what it'd do."

"Well that was stupid of you."

"Yeah," agreed Remus. "I guess it was."

The truth was that it was more than a year ago when it happened: behind the Lupins' home at the time there had been a tool shed, an empty tool shed with an unusually heavy door. Remus was kept magically locked and silenced inside at every full moon—he lost all sense of himself when transformed, and would spend the night searching for a means of escape, always eventually resorting to violence and throwing himself against the walls in anger at his situation. He also injured himself on purpose—if he didn't have any humans to bite, he had to bite something. So Remus, the werewolf, had been right in the middle of gnawing on his own front paw when he'd sensed something most unusual: the smell of a human nearby.

Remus would realize only the next morning that this human was in fact the farmer from next door, his nice old Muggle neighbor who let Remus borrow his books and come pick what he liked out of his garden. All this couldn't have meant less to his transformed self: Remus had gone instantly into a desperate rage, slamming his body weight repeatedly into the door and howling. The oddly shuddering walls of the shed only startled the farmer into fleeing, however, and Remus' wolfish senses informed him of his prey's escape. He was so furious with himself for this failure that he'd intentionally slashed open his own muzzle, and bled so profusely that he was quite weak by the time his father found him in the morning.

The next day, the farmer came to the Lupins' home to share his suspicions that some sort of wild animal must have snuck into their tool shed. Remus was resting in his bedroom at the time, face heavily bandaged, but could still make out his mother promise's to investigate the matter as soon as possible. She came to check on Remus a little later, begging him to forgive himself, reminding him that he wasn't a bad person even if we wished terrible things upon people while transformed...

Remus, though hardly a stranger to insane, abrupt urges, surprised himself with the compulsion to confess all that he could to Severus. What was wrong with him? Was an afternoon spent in pleasant conversation with a pair of fellow misfits really all it took for him to start with this foolishness? What happened to the Remus who stood at Platform 9 and 3/4, genuinely considering the option of living like a recluse at Hogwarts? Surely that was the only way to keep his secrets safe? That would be the only way he achieve a semblance of normalcy in his life, even if it made him miserable...

"Severus," Remus began, tremulously.

No! Oh god, now he'd done it...

"What?"

But Remus knew he couldn't, no matter how badly he wanted to. He must never say a word to anyone, even if Lily and Severus became his best friends. They wouldn't understand. No one did. Only his parents could still love him after knowing what he was, and even they were still afraid…

"How did you and Lily meet?"

"Me and Lily?" Severus immediately warmed to this topic of conversation. "We met by chance, really—"

"Oi, Snivellus! Alright there?"

Remus jumped and looked around. The boys named James and Sirius stood at the other end of the corridor, now dressed in their school robes. James had an devilish look on his face despite seeming so friendly earlier, and Sirius was cackling at his side. Remus wondered if James had shouted down the corridor at them only because Sirius had egged him on—either way, this sudden change in behavior made Remus feel he'd clearly missed something.

"Ignore them," Severus said quietly, so that the other two boys couldn't hear. One of his hands was balled up into a fist, and what was left of the color in his face was turning red. "Lily and I had some trouble with them earlier..."

"You say something, Snivellus?" Sirius called out. "Couldn't hear you!"

Remus narrowed his eyes. If there was anything he couldn't stand, it was bullying.

"Leave him alone," Remus said, loudly.

"What are you doing with him?" James deflated almost instantly at the sight of Remus—Sirius, however, redoubled his effort to torment them.

"Alright there, kid? Keeping to your own kind, with that nasty scarred-up nose of yours?"

"I'd keep away from Snivellus, if I were you," James added. His snobbish tone had come back already. "Come sit in our compartment, why don't you? Don't want to end up in Slytherin with that ugly prat."

"I don't want to end up in the house you're going to be in, either," Remus said coolly. He racked his brain for a moment, trying to think of a good follow-up—it was quite exciting, actually, as he'd never had a reason to insult somebody before. "If there's a house for arrogant little berks, I'm betting on that one."

"We're going to be in Gryffindor," Sirius declared, jabbing his thumb into his chest. "So you can shove it."

"I doubt it," said Severus softly. He was glaring at Sirius as though everything had gone wrong in the world if someone like him had been blessed with good looks. "You're a Black. You're going to be in Slytherin whether you like it or not."

"Not likely," Sirius spat. "I've had enough of—"

The compartment behind Remus slammed open, leaving Sirius without time to finish his sentence. Lily marched out into the corridor with a swirl of her robes—she even had her wand out, but couldn't decide which bully she most wanted to point it at.

"Enough," she hissed. "You shut up about them! Both of them!"

"Well hello, whatever your name is!" said James, his voice changing once more. "Fancy seeing you here—"

"Shut up and stop bullying my friends!" Lily shouted. Remus' heart leapt stupidly into his throat. "Find some other hobby!"

"Yeah, Sirius," simpered James, looking to his friend as though he hadn't had anything to do with this. "Find some other hobby, won't you?"

"But I've only just picked up this particular hobby," said Sirius. He grinned. "Maybe you should try it out too, ginger. It's been quite fun so far."

"Ha ha." Lily moved forward, and both Severus and Remus stepped back on instinct. "You both are just too funny. Now leave us alone and go back to your compartment. Don't you think about insulting any of us ever again."

"You're just a wet blanket," complained James, but Sirius went a bit further.

"Or you'll do what? Going to hurt us? You can't do magic, who are you trying to fool?"

"I will," Lily said, nostrils flaring. "I will soon enough."

"Tell us when that is then," Sirius told her, faking a yawn. "I'll—"

"Is someone fighting out here?" A fellow student chose a very inconvenient time to poke his head out of his compartment in concern—Lily Evans had just stormed up the corridor and slammed her fist into Sirius' face.

"Argh!"

The boy disappeared back into his compartment with a yelp. Lily massaged her knuckles as James, Remus and Severus all blinked at one another, dumbfounded.

"Brilliant," said Severus, cracking a smile.

"Wicked," Remus agreed.

"Thank you," said Lily, breathlessly, then turned back to Sirius. While his injury didn't look bad enough to indicate a broken nose, he now appeared to be suffering a satisfyingly heavy nosebleed. "That should remind you to watch your manners from now on, Black. And I hope you rather like your new look—an ugly face fits your ugly personality better, I think."

Sirius growled at her as he bled into his hand.

"Having an ugly face means I qualify to be one your stupid friends though, doesn't it?"

James wisely shoved Sirius back into their compartment before Lily could react.

"Thanks, Lily," Severus mumbled, as she came to join them again. Remus grinned at her while making a mental note to avoid making her mad in the future.

"You don't think I'll get in trouble for that, will I?" Lily asked. She was apparently the kind of girl who punched first and asked if she'd get a detention later.

"Probably not," Severus reasoned. "I doubt they'll tell on you anyway. Imagine having to tell a teacher you got punched in the face by a girl before you even made it to the Sorting..."

Severus seemed pleased with himself for making both Lily and Remus laugh.

A voice came wafting down the length of the train a moment later, announcing to the students that ten minutes remained before the Hogwarts Express would reach its destination. Severus and Lily offered to wait on Remus now, who'd managed to forget that he needed to change once again.

Once inside the compartment, Remus double-checked to make sure his new found friends weren't looking in before he dared remove his shirt. The scars on Remus' face were already bad enough, but both his arms were perpetually covered in half-healed scratches and scars that would be equally hard to explain. Some of his injuries were bad enough that even he hated to look down at himself and be reminded of them...

Remus sighed, and as he donned his robes he happened to look out the window again to see a clearing in the forest outside. There was an enormous willow swaying in the distance, a willow far too large to normally exist. Even after the immense pleasure of seeing Sirius hit in the face, Remus' heart sunk at the realization that he knew exactly why the tree was there.