DISCLAIMER – One more time – don't own them, other than Beth, the new apartment, and the storyline. Enough said.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 19 - Recovery

Mike and Don chatted amongst themselves as they traipsed back through the sewers towards home. Both had in-hand what they had left the lair for; Mike with Raph's six pack, and Donnie with – well – whatever it was, Mike was certain it was too complicated for him to understand. As it was, anything electronic in nature confused him.

Yet, as Mike observed, what Don carried looked like a board the size of a loaf of bread. Along one side were tiny dabs of silvery metal, with equally tiny tubular beads interspersed here and there, almost in afterthought. When his brainy brother extracted the board from the discarded computer they found at the junk yard, Mike noted that a person could easily string the elongated plastic globules like a necklace. That is, if one removed the tiny wires from the beads that fastened them to the board.

When Mikey casually mentioned this creative idea to his brother, Donnie looked back at him with disdain.

"You haven't any idea what this is, do you, Mike?" he had asked his clue-less brother.

"Um, if I did, d'ya think I'd compare it to jewelry?" Mike deadpanned, hand on hip, as he glanced nervously around the yard.

"Obviously not," was his brother's dry reply, going back to the computer to see if there was anything else salvageable.

At the time, though, Mike just wanted to get going. He hated junk yards and was getting a bit nervous, if only because some of the yards had teeth, teeth that belonged to guard dogs that often lived in such environments. He'd had only one run-in with such animals and, after that encounter, it pretty much settled it for him. Plunging into piles of refuse and discards was not worth the bite marks from creatures that moved faster than any ninja could. Well, ninja such as Mike, who was prone to distraction, especially with discoveries such as disposed comic books. Fortunately, his experience with the guard dog did not alter his love for his favorite hobby, and for that, he was glad.

In any event, whatever it was that Don had found, he had eagerly thanked his youngest, conniving brother for talking him into coming along. The resulting gleam in Don's eye told Mike that he would definitely have to remember the Liberty Ave Junkyard the next time he had to go out again. Where there didn't seem to be any dogs around in this particular location, he decided that it seemed safer than most.

Now, as they made their way back to the lair, they were sharing thoughts about their guest.

"So, d'ya think Leo likes her?" Mike asked in amusement. He skirted around a pile of 'something' that reeked with a smell akin to rotting meat, causing the turtle to wrinkle his snout in disgust. "Eee yuck," he murmured under his breath, looking back at it as he walked alongside his brother.

"Kind of obvious, Mike," Don sighed, ignoring the smelly mound as he, too, moved around it, "I mean, Leo's been as close to her as a bee to honey."

"What…do you think'll happen, once he gets his mem'ry back, though?" his little brother asked, turning a concerned look at Don.

Don was silent for a moment, his head down as he thought and walked. The tunnel became unusually quiet, save for the sound of run-off water as it gurgled and flowed through the center culvert on its way to the reclamation plant. The two brothers took a bend in the tunnel, almost absentmindedly. Their knowledge of the sewers was as familiar to them as their own skin. Finally, Don looked up, "Well, if Leo recovers completely and comes back to his senses, I only hope that Beth hasn't fallen in love with him."

"Ah, earth to Don, she's human. There's been only one other lady who had the opportunity and she's – well – April was one of a kind, know what I mean?" Mike shook his head, as memories of their friend caused his chest to tighten slightly.

"But, Beth doesn't have a very high regard for her own species," Don explained, "Leo's been very protective of her, very caring, and – if anything – Beth needs someone like that. The fact that he's not human is only an added benefit for her." Sighing, Don admitted, "At the very least, he's been a balm to her very tortured and injured soul." Pursing his lips and sighing, he added, "No, I wouldn't be surprised if she did fall in love with him."

"Well, I hope yer wrong, bro." Mike mused quietly, "I don't think Sensei will tolerate something like that happening again."

"Not with how it turned out for April – and for Raph." Don agreed.

As they came to a familiar joining of two sewer lines, Mike stopped. He asked solemnly as he pointed towards the left tunnel, "Hey, Donnie, remember this?"

Swallowing, Don nodded, his voice soft and sad, "Yep, seems like yesterday, doesn't it, Mike?"

"Yep, sure does," the orange-banded turtle admitted, equally as sad. Then, he perked up, "Hey, let's go visit, 'kay? I mean, we're already talking about her and she did leave it to us. I think out of respect, we should at least go by and give our regards."

"Mike," Don quickly turned his head around to look at his baby brother. His voice now took on a serious tone, "it's only a building, that's all it is."

"Yeah, but it's Ape's building, ours, really – if you want to split hairs." Mike remarked earnestly.

"I don't have any hairs to split, I'm reptilian, remember?" Don smirked.

"Really? You don't say," Mike chuckled, and then turned on his heal towards the tunnel in question. He called back as he walked into the dark recesses of the pipe, "Well, I'm goin'. I think if Ape was able to look down on all of us and knew we've never been back ever since she…well, anyway, she'd be pretty insulted."

"Hey, come back here; we can't just…oh, for Pete's sake, Mike, you're always getting distracted." Don complained as he hurried his pace to catch up with his brother.

Mike's cheery voice echoed back from the enveloping dark of the sewer tunnel, "Hey, I know what I'm doin',"

"That'd be a first," Don muttered under his breath.

He quickly caught up with his brother. Soon the two turtles arrived at the familiar access shaft embedded into tunnel's sidewall. They both stood there, their arms laden with their possessions, and looked up as the shaft curved towards topside. They stared and then, almost as one, they both remarked softly, "Someone's been here." The shaft was virtually unused by the sewer maintenance workers, where it opened up to a dead-end alley behind the building that was once April's. It had been several years since any of them had ever ventured this way. Now, to find fresh, wet footmarks worried them.

As they stared up at the ladder that led to the exit above, droplets of water coated each rung. It was obvious to the two brothers that someone had recently been there and had climbed up the sewer shaft.

"Ya think it's Raph?" Mike asked as he looked quizzically over at Don.

His brother replied softly as he stared at the metal rungs, "From what I heard back in the lair, before he left so quickly, I'd say he's still working through stuff. Beth's only forced the issue with her presence." He went over to the rungs and, using his hand to measure the span of water collected there, nodded and said, "It's a wide foot that climbed up, so…yeah, I think it's Raph." He glanced up towards the manhole cover as his eyeridges rose, and then Don sighed. He then released his breath in one, long sustained exhalation. Don turned round to face Mike, "Well, do we go up or do we go home?" Don knew that if Raph was indeed inside of April's building, more than likely he would not appreciate any intrusion.

Mike pursed his lips in thought, chewing the inside of his cheek as he did. Finally, he jerked his head upwards towards the sewer lid and stated, "If he is revisiting some old 'friends', I think we'd better be there for him. But, let's not act like we're there for him, 'kay?" He quirked a smile, "We're just checking in on the old place, s' all. How're we t'know he'd be there, too, eh?"

"Right. Can't let the guy know we care, god forbid," Don remarked under his breath as he tucked the computer breadboard under his left arm.

Then, with Don leading the way, both turtles began their ascent in single file, climbing up through the sewer access shaft and towards the alley above

-----------------

Raph squeezed his eyes tight. He tried hard not to give in to it, but he just couldn't help it. The sudden cry that ripped from his mouth surprised him, yet he allowed it, nonetheless. It amazed him; it felt good to finally to have release.

As he sobbed, he sat on his knees and on the floor of the second story in what used to be April's living room. Earlier, Raph had wandered aimlessly around the shop several floors below. Absentmindedly he would pick up objects, impassively inspect them, only to then put them back down again. Raphael tried to fight the emotions growing inside of him as each minute ticked by. Yet, every turn he made in the shop only reminded him of his loss, his family's loss. At one point, he wondered if it was even wise for him to be there.

"What was I think'n?" he suddenly panicked. Yet, for some strange reason, he couldn't leave. It was as if the building had cast a spell over him, forcing him against his will to stay there until he confronted his fears.

Now, an hour later and as he wept, Raph succumbed to his latent grief, allowing its emergence. He hugged himself tightly; his chin nestled into the top of his plastron as his torment and heartbreak sang forth. Unabated tears ran down his face in glistening lines. They pooled along the top edge of each plate on his plastron, and then cascaded down in gentle streams.

Raph never knew he could cry so hard, yet he seemed unwilling or unable to stop.

He knew that this was something Donnie had told him he needed to do, shortly after April's sudden death. Yet, the red-banded turtle had bellowed to everyone at the time that the only way he would express his grief would be to 'pound the life' out of the 'scumbag' who had killed her. His revenge and avengement of his friend's murder would be the only way he would grieve.

Yet, no matter how hard he tried, no matter how far he looked, Raph had failed to find the man. It only added more despair to his heart.

Now, here in her store and surrounded by her things, Raph had no other choice but to grieve in the way that his family had done years before. All the emotions that he had pushed back, all of the memories he had refused to acknowledge, assaulted him relentlessly and without mercy.

Raphael thought for sure that his heart would break.

---------------

They watched silently from the doorway. Moments earlier, they had heard the cry of grief filter down through the stairwell and into the store far below. They had hesitated only slightly, before stealing their way upstairs, and now Mike and Don watched as their brother's inner torment sounded out. Individually, they both revisited their own grief, yet they kept themselves in control, lest they interrupt Raphael's venting. Don only had give Mike a single glance and a stern expression to keep him quiet. A subtle nod from Don towards Raph also told Mike that whatever and how ever long it took, their brother needed to see this through. He needed to cry.

Now, they stood like sentries, compassionately watching over their brethren as he sobbed. Fortunately for them, Raph's focus was so much on his grief, that their presence went undetected.

For half an hour, Raphael expressed his deepest sorrow, believing he was alone and only in the company of his memories. He thought of the many times April had visited them, how many times he and his brothers would visit her. Raph thought of the movie marathons that Mike would inflict upon April, yet patiently she would oblige him, even providing the pizza or whatever snack they wanted. She was more than a friend to them, or to him; she was like family.

Now, Raphael lamented bitterly, reminding himself, that she was gone, taken from them by someone who didn't deserve even the air in his lungs. He pounded the wood flooring, causing a few loose items still littering the room to rattle in response. He pounded the floor yet again. His rising anger and his grief almost doubled as he did. As Raphael inflicted yet another abusive strike against the wood floor, an audible 'crack' sounded out. He sat straight up, and waited, his eyes wide. He noticed a thin line snake a short ways where his fist had met violently against the wood. It wouldn't impede the floor's integrity, but it did alarm him, nonetheless. Then, almost as if a shadow had passed over his mind, Raph whipped his head around towards the front door.

There was nothing there. Yet, he could still sense something, almost like an echo of a person's presence. He squinted at the opened doorway, focusing and working his jaw in irritation, his eyes red and puffy from crying. Snorting, he shook his head and muttered under his breath, "Must have been my imagination; better've been my imagination!" Just considering someone from his family witnessing his grief caused a bitter ire to well up in his chest, yet what were the chances that any of them would even venture back to April's apartment. None of them had in the long years since her death, and he knew that Mike and Don were still in the lair when he left.

Sighing deeply to dispel the remaining remnants of his grief, Raph sat back on his heels and relaxed. He looked up at the ceiling and then closed his eyes, wrapping his arms protectively around him as he did.

"God, April, I miss you so…much," his voice quavered. "Why'd this have ta happen t'you? You didn't deserve that kind of death, ya know."

He shuddered again as a residue of sorrow found its way back to his throat again. Raph sobbed once more, but only briefly this time, and then, when he felt he had vented as much as he could, he stood up. He turned slowly in a complete circle, wiping his eyes and taking in every nook and cranny as he surveyed the room. He wanted to burn every item he saw forever into his mind, determined never to forget, because he decided right then he would never return. As he took in the apartment, a strange peace seemed to wash over him. It was then that he finally found acceptance, knowing that April would never come back to him. That thought saddened Raphael, but he didn't feel the need to cry anymore. He didn't have to, because he had finally allowed his grief the freedom it needed. He had finally extricated his demons.

Donnie was right, Raph mused wryly, crying was what he needed to do. It seemed that his brainiac brother was always right.

Taking a deep breath, Raphael turned to leave the room and the apartment. Yet, as he did, he spied one lone item that caused him to smile a little. He walked over to where it sat on the display stand and stood there, studying it for a moment. He hesitated only briefly. Quickly and without futher thought, Raph snatched it up with one hand and tucked it safely under his arm, and resolutely headed towards the exit.

Proceeding to swagger out the front door of what used to be April's home, Raph's right arm embraced the slightly charred bust of Elvis. April had rescued it from the burned-out remains of her first apartment years before, displaying the ceramic image of the singer on a special stand to honor what it represented – her new-found friends. The item had become a favorite of Raph's. In fact, he had quite forgotten about it, until he spied it a moment ago.

Now, as he slipped quietly down the steps towards the shop below, the red-banded turtle muttered under his breath, "If Mikey so much as says one word about The King, that kid's gonna eat 'em, so help me!"

Raphael then chuckled all the way down the stairs, his mood lighter than it had been in many years.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Comments: Considering how many reviewed and left their comments, I just want to say thanks. Although there have been rumors to indicate that leaving 'thank yous' at either the beginning or end of each chapter is conflicting with Fan Fiction rules, there really isn't any foundation to these claims. In fact, there is a clause, of sorts, that allows for 'short' author's notes. With that said and considering the wonderful response to this story, I am going to err on the side of caution and just mention the names of those reviewers who took the time. My grateful thanks and appreciation for taking a moment to review, goes to – Cynlee, Reluctant Dragon, Chibi Rose Angel, XXXElectraXXX, Sassyblondexoxo, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, Jessiey Landroz, Kay Lizzie, Lunar Ninja, Ramica, Mickis, and then Pacphys. All others who are reading, thanks so much! I understand that it is often hard to leave a comment, especially if you have a gazillion other stories to read. LOL As for one reviewer who mentioned about Casey dying, he didn't. Never said that. Only April has. Casey is, so far, AWOL in this story. Thanks, again, for reading and reviewing. Be blessed.