Disclaimer – Again, once again, and again, I do-not-own-them! Okay? Fine.
Anyway, a great big thanks to all who are continuing to read my missive and an even bigger thanks to those who have left a review.
Before I list them, however, I want everyone to know that, even with this chapter, this story has not concluded yet. There is still much that has yet to happen, changes can occur, and – despite what some readers have suggested I do – I have already decided if Beth's attacker will make an appearance, or not. I appreciate your interest, though, I really do:o)
Also, my heart and hugs to all of you, once again, who have had the misfortune of experiencing, regardless of depth or complexity, any form of PTSD. I have had brief glimpses of it through my own experiences, although I would hardly consider 'earthquakes' in the same category with what some of you have gone through. Nevertheless, I appreciate your willingness to share via the review window, as it allows me, as well as others, to understand just how insidious abuse is and the long-suffering effects that it can cause. I wish you health and happiness, but I also wish you recovery just as much. Be blessed.
Now, for those who commented, my thanks and appreciation goes out to – Leo Oneal (reviewed both 25 and 26), Mewfem, BubblyShell22, Reluctant Dragon, Kellie Fay, Empress Caroline of Tamaran, Dierdre (see apologies in previous chapter for unintentionally omitting your name from the shout-out lineup), Katana-Babe, Tewii, Lunar-Ninja, Ramica, Jessiy Landroz, Mikaela Space, and Chibi Rose Angel. You guys are the best and your comments are what keeps me going with this story.
Be blessed
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Chapter 27 – Difficult Decisions
"Sensei, how am I supposed to act around her, now?" Leo asked worriedly. His other brothers had already left the bedroom moments earlier and were currently with Beth in the living area. He could hear the television from where he sat on his bed, his legs pulled up into a lotus position in the same fashion as his sensei's, who sat next to him. A few chuckles and a bit of laughter filtered in through the opened door of his room, telling Leonardo that whatever programming his brothers were watching, it was more than likely a comedy.
Yet, the girl's voice seemed absent from their sounds of amusement. Leonardo sighed and wondered if someone had already told her that he didn't have any memory of her. If it were true, that she had fallen in love with him, then he could only imagine how badly she might have felt about that.
Nevertheless, as he considered his situation, he had a problem and a big one.
Splinter sat next to him, his legs bent across one another, and sighed. "Maybe it is best that we meditate in my room, Leonardo, where I can light my incense and we will be further away from..."
Shaking his head, Leo's eyes went slightly wide, as he interrupted, "No offense, Sensei, but I want to know how I should act around her before I leave my room. I mean…" his voice went soft, almost fearing his next set of words, "Don said that she was in love with me – and…that I kissed her!"
Nodding, Splinter replied, "Yes, she is and you did, but there is very little that any of us can do about it right now." He looked at his son and sighed, "I have already told her about your recovered memories, and…that they do not include her."
With his assumptions confimred, Leonardo nodded acceptance and thenlooked down at his hands.Swallowing, he then softly asked, "How…did she take it?"
Quirking his head a bit and looking away, the rat answered simply, "As any young girl might, who's heart still swells for the one who's heart does not." He smiled then as he returned his gaze to his son, "However, as much as I was against your relationship and as worried as I had been about your amnesia, I was pleased that you had found love."
Leonardo's head snapped up in surprise and quickly noticed the glint in his father's eyes, "You…were?" Shaking his head, he asked, "But…what about all those lectures, about how we're not supposed to fraternize with humans? What about April and what happened to her? It's too dangerous. Aren't you afraid that…"
Splinter sighed deeply, interrupting his son's litany of worries with a raised paw, "As much as I fear that such a thing will undo our clan and put us at risk, I know that I cannot keep you from experiencing such events." He smiled again, "If anything, Leonardo, this experience has taught me that to prevent you or any of your brothers from such close relationships, would be cruel on my part." He glanced away for a moment, "What is it they say? Love changes everything?" Nodding, he repeated, "Yes, indeed, love certainly does change many things." He patted Leonardo's knee and then stated as he changed the topic, "Now, let us put aside this concern of yours and try to meditate, to clear our minds, and to see what comes from it."
…………………
Beth sat sullenly on the couch and in-between Mike and Don. She had her arms crossed dispassionately in front of her, as she tried to distract her mind from the events of that evening, or early morning, considering the time. She tried not to yawn, but she did sigh every now and then, prompting Mike, or even Don, to give her a reassuring pat on the arm, or an encouraging word or two. Nevertheless, she sat there, despondent, worried, and not at all happy about Leonardo's recovery.
As for Raphael, he reclined in one of the armchairs situated to the left of the sofa and at the opposite end from where his father's rocker was. He tried to ignore the girl, as he slouched in the furniture, his left leg draped haphazardly over that side of his seat. In one hand, he held a small bowl of popcorn, while the other hand maintained a regular attempt to keeping his mouth full.
Mike and Don held similar bowls, with a bigger bowl sitting by itself on the coffee table. The container itself was nearly half-empty, now, and it was becoming increasingly more so, as they occasionally refilled their bowls with more of the crunchy snack.
Mike, the more animated viewer, shook the couch with his deep-seated chuckles whenever something hilarious occurred within the television program. He smacked his hands against his thigh once occassionally during some of the televised antics; truly enjoying their late-night viewing.
As it was, they were all watching an episode from the old I Love Lucy show, the one where Lucy and her friend, Ethel, try working at a candy factory. As the two characters in the program desperately filled their mouths with an ever-increasing supply of confection, Mike's laughter grew in response. Soon, Don couldn't hold back, either, and followed in kind, with Raphael joining him not long afterwards. As the foolhardiness increased on the sitcom and as the brothers' laughter multiplied, sporadic sprays of half-eaten popcorn spewed out from their mouths in a shower of soggy, yellow bits.
In contrast, Beth tried very hard not to enjoy the show. Instead, she elected to sit there on the sofa to pout and ultimtaely feel sorry for her situation. Even the 'popcorn rain' or the capers of Ethel and Lucy, did little to adjust her attitude. She looked over at where Leo still resided in his room and wondered what Splinter was telling him. It was becoming all too obvious to her that her friend knew how she felt about him, that is if the events from earlier said anything.
Initially, while Splinter attended to her catatonic state, she had been unaware of Leo staring at her and talking with his brothers. However, once the master had left her side to go over to Leonardo's room, Beth finally noticed her friend as Leo stood in the doorway of his sub-car. She had all she could do to keep from running to him. However, she did try to approach Leonardo, taking slow, even steps from the living area towards his room. As she stood up from the couch and proceeded to walk towards Leo's compartment, she vaguely heard Raphael say something about 'staying put'. She dismissed him easily, though, for her focus was on his brother and no one else.
Unfortunately, as she neared Leonardo's room, Mike and Don had stepped through the door's threashold, quickly blocking her way. Miffed was hardly an adequate word to describe how she felt, then. Asthey stood there and as Beth tried to look past them to her friend, she heard Splinter say something to Leonardo, who slipped back into the room and beyond the girl's view. Then,Splinter appeared at the door, baring her approach as well, andto make his point to the girl.
Quite reluctantly, she obliged the old rat, allowing Don and Mikey to escort her back to the living room where they encouraged her to sit down. She distinctly remembered the look on Raphael's face, too. It seemed to be a mixture of amusement, hope, irritability, and…anticipation. She thought it especially strange.
Nevertheless, she complained mightily. "Maybe if Leo sees me, hears me, talks to me, maybe he'll remember?" She tried to pull away, but the two turtles held fast to her arms, "You're not even giving him or me a chance!" she complained.
"You need to give him time, Beth," Don told her, "He's just coming out of his amnesia."
"Yeah, Dudette, if you go running in there, you'll scare him for sure; he won't want to remember then." Mike chortled good-naturedly.
With that, Beth finally resigned herself and allowed them to sit her on the couch. Then, Mike left for the kitchen to make the popcorn, while leaving the girl with Donnie and Raph.
Now, as she sat on the sofa, Beth fumed to herself, angry at their reproach and angry at fate in general. Life just seemed so incredibly unfair to her. Just when she was beginning to enjoy the idea of having friends, of having someone close to her, and of being kissed again, it all gets taken away in a singlemoment.
A while later, movement from Leonardo's room caught Beth's attention, as it did everyone else's in the living area. Raphael reached over and switched the television off and then stood up, but remained where he was. Don and Mike leaned slightly forward on the couch and angled themselves towards Beth, just in case she tried to bolt. They watched as Leonardo made his entrance, and, as he did, they felt Beth's expectation rise. It was a hopeful feeling that contrasted her sullen mood from before, one that she had nursed for the past hour. Fortunately, they did not have to intervene, for just as soon as they sensed her change, they also felt Beth's deliberate attempt to control her reaction.
Don smiled at her, "You're doing great, Beth…like I said, just give him time…let him come to you."
Raphael heard his brother's remark and he bristled inwardly. Nevertheless, he had to show better restraint as well, that is if there was ever a chance for the girl to look at him in the way that she saw Leonardo. He knew it was, at best, a slim chance, but a chance regardless. After all, Beth was, for all practical reasons, the only viable female who seemed capable of looking past the obvious differences between her species and his. Raph knew that he, too, had to be patient, yet it was something that he was not accustomed to being. Just the same and with much determination, he stood there and waited.
When he saw the girl and as she looked directly at him, Leo hesitated slightly. His father stood supportedly beside him as his son took a deep, calming breath.
"Just be honest with her, Leonardo," the rat encouraged softly, "That is all she should expect from you."
"I…know, Master Splinter," Leo whispered. He turned anxiously towards his father, "What will happen to Beth if I can't return her feelings, if I truly cannot remember her?"
Splinter half-closed his eyes as he replied, "Let us take one step at a time, Leonardo. I will say this much; I will not stand in your way if you re-discover your heart for Miss Beth, but I will not allow her to stay here if you cannot." He looked at his son, "It would be cruel to keep her in close proximity to you, when you are unable torecipocate heraffections."
"What…about Raphael?" Leo then asked as he turned to stare out across the lair's expanse, again, andtowards his brother. Raphael gazed back at him, standing alert. Leonardo then saw that Mike and Don continued to sit on the couch next tothe girl, who remained seated in-between them.
As Leonardo looked back over at Raph, however, he easily felt his brother's apprehension and worry, and in that moment, Leo knew that Raphael seemed uneasy. Then, in the next instant, he felt Beth's anticipation. The depth of her feelings impressed the turtle greatly, the force of her affections for him almost causing him to turn around and run back into his room. Howsever, he couldn't help but inwardlylaugh at the irony. Here he was, almost a ninja master himself, and seeing a girl in love with him had caused his knees to quake. Was it fear, or…was it something else entirely?
Nevertheless, he still had to face her, he still had to explain, to apologize. He had tosee if maybe what he supposedly felt before was real or only a byproduct of his amnesia. Even though his role as second in command to Splinter, told him that he did not have the luxury of enjoying such things, his father's comment from earlier gave Leonardo a new perspective regarding relationships. Yes, what happened to April was horrific, her death something that had deeply affected his clan to its very basic core. Yet if this Beth sincerely loved him, was it possible that her allegiance to his family's need for secrecy might be as steadfast as April's was? Would this Beth have the same strength to preserver hardships and even torture at the hands of their enemy, just to stalemate the Foot's attempt to locate the mutant clan's lair. April's visage, and her final words to them when they had finally found her, still haunted Leo, "Did…everything to me…" she had said weakly.She was almost beyond recognition, barely a semblance of her face remained, her arms and legs broken like fractured porcelain, with her back twisted. Yet she lived long enough to tell them that the Foot had done everything to her…"I didn't tell…themmm…" before she faded forever into eternity.
With that thought and as the memory of April's final minutes caused his breath to hitch, Leonardo decided for Beth's safety and for the safety of his family, that he had to spurn her affections. He knew that his decision would adversely affect the girl, and it deeply saddened him, too. It wasn't as if he wanted to hurt her. Nevertheless, Leonardo's sense of duty told him that it was something which had to be done, no matter what.
As he walked towards the living room with his father by his side and as he watched the girl's expectant face, Leo could feel a sudden undercurrent of great trepidation growing within her. As their eyes met, he sensed a deep sadness from her, now, a grief that seemed to strangle its way around her heart like a weed, as her hopeful bud of romance struggled to bloom. An overwhelming sense of dread came to him, then, as he knew his first words to her would probably crush her heart.
He just hoped that Splinter had done an adequate job of preparing her.