She listened to Kili talk but his voice was loud in her ear at the close proximity. Her head was spinning and her mouth and throat dry. Five days, that's how long she went without food and water. Yes, she was offered both to her on multiple occasions but she had denied it each time. Toma couldn't do it, no matter how much her stomach rumbled, no matter how restless she got. She wasn't able to speak for she feared that if she did it would only make her throat worse.

"Avtonoma, are you listening?" Kili asked when he noticed her unresponsive expressions and blank eyes as she stared to her side.

In truth, she was not listening to him. She couldn't focus on his voice but only on the thought of water and food. She would settle on eating anything at this point. Toma shook her head and pressed her forehead against his back as she felt another stomach cramp.

"You don't look too well."

She almost rolled her eyes but the cramp that racked her body was too much for her and she only gripped tighter onto the brunet archer.

"I'm fine." she gritted out.

"No you're not. Stop!" he shouted. There was a bustle as the company stopped. The ponies neighed and the dwarves asked very impatiently what the matter of stopping was for in a not so happy tone.

"Avtonoma, you are going to eat and drink something right now!"

"Вы не можете сказать мне, что делать, куриный дерьмо!"

"You're losing it! You are speaking gibberish!" he said indigently to the woman holding her head in her hands.

"Russian is not gibberish!"

She got off the pony and on shaky legs wandered to the edge of the forest to her left.

"Where do you think you're going?" Fili asked.

"I'm going to piss and no one is going to follow me!"

When she was out of range, Thorin leanded towards his oldest nephew. "Go after her."

In truth, she knew she couldn't. She hadn't peed in two and a half days. What she needed was time alone. Toma grumbled as she stomped her way through the forest and spotted a place covered in purple flowers and light streaming through the tree tops.

She sat at the trunk of one of the trees and held her head in her hands as she cried. No tears spilt but she acted all the same. There wasn't much that could bring her out of crying and she couldn't help but hate herself for it. Her chest shuddered and her throat burned from her silent screams.

The snapping of a branch brought her back to attention as she looked around her found spot of beauty. More sounded out but stopped.

"Hello?" she cried out with a hoarse voice. After no reply for some time, she moved towards the direction of where the branches were breaking and came face to face with a creature with grey skin, haunting yellow eyes and pointy ears.

Her eyes went wide and she turned to run but the thing grabbed a handful of hair and dragged her to the ground. It pulled out a terrible made knife, but menacing nonetheless, and slid it over her skin, not hard enough to break the skin, just the right amount to send shivers down her spine. The creature stared down at her and she thrashed underneath him, trying to throw him off.

"Help!" she tried to yell but it came out a raspy whisper. It clamped a horrible smelling hand over her mouth and smirked at her. The thing shifted its weight on top of her, to place it all on her. Once again, the knife made patterns on her skin and lifted her shirt and looked to examine where exactly would be the best place to start cutting.

It lifted the knife back to her shoulder and instead made a large incision on her bicep. Her mouth opened to scream but nothing came out.

Then it was all gone, the weight, the horrid creature and the knife. There was a flash of brown and yellow and she saw Fili slashing into it with a sword. It fought back against him with its own crude sword. The clanking of metal ringed throughout her ears as Fili gave a final blow to its head. It stopped moving and dropped to the ground.

"What was that?" she whispered. Slowly she raised from her spot and walked to him. "I almost died. I could've died. Oh my god."

"It was an orc." he pulled the sword out of its head and turned to her. She began to gasp trying to such air in and hung on to a tree, and she was sure her face was red, her gasps for air began to move closer together and it became much harder for her to breathe any air in at all. Fili quickly walked over to her but was swatted away weakly by her. She clung to the branch, shaking like a leaf in the breeze, her head becoming fuzzier than it had been.

It was real. She wasn't hallucinating, not dreaming but this was real life now. If she was dreaming she would have woken up by the knife being dragged through her skin.

The world began to spin around her. She felt a hand on her shoulder and pushed it off violently. Toma tried to walk off but her legs couldn't support her. Fili tried again to touch her but her shaking became worse. Her breathing was harsh and shallow.

"Avtonoma, can you hear me?" she didn't respond and he stepped closer to her, "Before he died, my father would come in with mother and would teach us to hoot like owls."

Toma snorted and gave a shaky laugh. The fuzziness began to fade from her vision. Her thoughts began to clear. "Thank you, Fili."

He nodded and looked over her bicep. "We need to get you to Oin."

She sat down on a rock and let Oin patch up her arm with some kind of super ancient looking super glue. Personal, she would have rather had stitches instead of have the stuff dry and crack onto her skin. But she couldn't complain much.

Fili glanced over at her as he talked with Thorin about the incident.

"What happened?"

"She was attacked by a stray orc."

"Were there none with it?" he asked.

"It was alone, which is very strange."

"She needs to learn to defend herself if she is going to stay with us until we become close enough to Rivendell." he spat out the last word with such hatred that Fili didn't know a dwarf could have.

"We barely have enough time to eat and sleep as it is Uncle, I do not think we will be able to fit fighting lessons of all things!"

"I know but she won't survive without it."

Fili nodded and looked at the woman. He found the way that the light reflected off of her hair made his- no. He turned back to his uncle before he could let his thoughts wander about the strange newcomer.

"I guess we'll have to make time."

Her headache was only getting worse throughout the day as were the stomach pains. She sat down next to Kili as he sipped the broth out of the wooden bowl. He heard her stomach growl as she looked down at the not so appetizing dish if you weren't starving.

"Are you going to eat tonight?"

She looked up at him with big green eyes and smiled with chapped lips. "I think I am."

"Finally," She heard Bilbo said as he carried two bowls and a water skin to her. "It isn't healthy to not eat for five days."

"I know."

Toma gladly accepted both the bowl and water skin. She took a small sip of water and she had never tasted anything as good as it. The soup was bland but she was happy to eat it.

"I feel better already."

AN: Thanks for reading! Comments are appreciated!

Вы не можете сказать мне, что делать, куриный дерьмо!- You can not tell me what to do, chicken shit!