Disclaimer – Well, I'm back from all my travels and parent-related responsibilities. My adult kids are home again full time again, so updates won't be as forth coming as they had been before.

In either event, our friend - Casey Jones – has a story to tell. I'm a little iffy how best to present it, too (in typed form) and at first I had it italicized. But, I have 'thoughts' italicized, so at the last minute, I went with the standard quotes. I decided to present it this way after it was beta-read. Speaking of which, a great big thanks and hug to Reluctant Dragon, who graciously took time from her school studies to beta read my story. Thanks, RD:0)

Just the same, I'm a little concerned that Casey's account might be a little long-winded, but I need to get him to a particular point so that the next chapter has a bit more impact. I hope, anyway. :0)

In either event, once more and as before I don't own the TMNT's or any other character related to them and copyrighted under Eastman & Laird, Mirage Studio, 4KidsTV, or any other corporation heading that are obviously making big bucks from our green guys in a half-shell. (Rein takes a big breath)

Oh, and thanks to all those who keep reading, too, especially to those who took the time to leave a review. Hey, that rhymes! LOL

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Chapter 42 – Casey in Blunderland

As Casey kneeled along the pea-gravel rooftop of the warehouse, the pebbly surface cut unforgiving into his jean-covered knees. Still, he would prefer his current discomfort than to endure what justice his old friends exacted from him on Beth's account. Hopefully, he might even live long enough to find out how they crossed paths with Beth in the first place.

Nevertheless, his plans for the evening had taken a surreal turn

Jus' my luck! he moaned to himself, that my assignments fer t'night would end up knowin' each othah.

As Casey looked up at Raphael and saw his old friend's steely gaze, he couldn't help but shudder. Maybe it was because of the cool night breeze blowing in from the harbor, as it knifed through his thin t-shirt, or maybe it was because he knew his life was on the line. Either way, as he endured the deathly silence following Leo's pointed question, Casey wrapped his arms protectively around himself to keep warm.

Then, with his head bowed, he sighed, saying softly, as he broke the silence, "Ya wanted to know what happened? Well it all began th'night we…we found her."

Casey's throat constricted, now, as he remembered how April had died. A renewed grief-stricken cry, stirred awake by the awful memory of April's death, worked its way to Casey's mouth. But, he took another shaky breath and managed to hold it back. For just a moment and though he still found it difficult to talk, the effect calmed his broken heart.

Once again, a silence thick with apprehension spilled over the roof of the old warehouse. It seemed to strangle itself around the small cluster of mutants and humans as Casey struggled for words. He tried again to say something, but it proved impossible as another stunted cry suddenly caught in his throat. Closing his eyes tight in order to prevent the flood of tears from spilling forth, he found himself fighting for control once more.

As Raph watched the man, the red-banded turtle had all he could do to keep from grabbing him and flinging the vigilante into the East River behind him – excuse or no excuse. But, 'Fearless Leader' had dictated their long-lost 'comrade in arms' would have his say and, so, Raphael gave a rare act of obedience to Leo's will.

For now, Casey would live.

Opposite from Raphael stood Leonardo. As the blue-banded turtle crouched supportively next to their friend, he rested his elbows on his knees. Leo propped his chin to fisted hands as he intently studied the man's expression. He wanted to discern Casey's sincerity and frowned, almost in sympathy, because what Leo saw before him was a beaten man. This Casey was definitely not the Casey Jones of old. The vigilante's haggard expression, lined with scars he didn't remember, was the most riveting sign for the turtle; it showed utter defeat. To Leo, Casey appeared as someone who had been to hell and back again.

Just the same, many thoughts muddled the turtle's mind. Yet the one that bothered Leo the most was, of all people, how could their friend do to Beth what Casey apparently did? It just didn't make any sense, not with the way Leo knew him. It was a foregone fact that Casey hated punks who preyed on innocent women, so, if that was true, then why would he become the very thing he loathed?

Certainly, this was testing Leonardo's sense of fairness and honor, and, like Raphael, he wanted justice for the girl. However, to do so without hearing Casey's explanation would be an even bigger injustice. He was their friend and because of that, he had earned their audience.

Simply put and regardless of how he felt for Beth, Leonardo would listen to the man's explanation and then decide later what to do with him.

Thinking back to Casey's close kinship with Raphael, though, Leo glanced up at his brother in red. He could only imagine the disappointment Raph was feeling now. The murderous expression glazing his brother's face told Leonardo that, unless Casey explained himself and convincingly, too, the vigilante wouldn't leave the warehouse district alive.

As he stood there opposite Leo and with one ready hand on the hilt of his sai, Raph dearly wanted to end Casey's life. After getting to know Beth and her circumstances surrounding her affliction, Raphael's mindset was on keeping her safe. If Casey was indeed Beth's rapist from years earlier, then he didn't have any business being at her apartment at all. That alarmed Raph quite a bit and he had all he could do to suppress his rage.

Yes, maybe he and Casey had a lot in common and maybe they were brothers in spirit at one time, but something had changed the vigilante. Despite his earlier attempt to toss Casey into the river below them, Raphael, like Leo, wanted to know how and why that was.

Curiously, Raphael gave a sideways glance towards the girl, still standing by his other brothers. He easily noticed her frightened countenance. Her fear was so palatable to him, that the turtle could almost taste it. He growled inwardly, knowing Beth's fear was because of his friend.

Raph then quickly assessed her, concerned that she would zone out as she had done before. So far, though, she seemed stable enough. Where she had stayed conscious during the fight back in her apartment, she had impressed him. It was quite the contradiction with how Beth behaved the first time the two had met. In fact, he rather liked this version of her.

Raph chuckled to himself and knew that if she could avoid going catatonic for as long as she did during the battle at her apartment, Beth stood a good chance of overcoming her problem.

It was in that moment when she glanced over at the red-masked mutant. He gave her a brief nod and a slight smile, receiving in kind a smaller affirming expression from her. However, it faded quickly as Beth's eyes drew back to the man in question again, the 'monster' responsible for upturning her life – Arnold Casey Jones.

As she continued to stand behind Don and Mike and use them as her shield, Beth observed the inquisition. Even though he was several yards from where she stood, Casey still seemed far too close for her liking. Beth's only consolation was her mutant friends' skill with martial arts. She was confident that if he had a mind to hurt her, Casey wouldn't even get to his feet. At least, not before Raphael skewered him with his sai and pitched Casey into the dark waters of the East River beyond.

Then, all of a sudden, the sound of Casey's voice broke the silence and ripped Beth's attention from her train of thought. She flinched instinctively and held her breath. Swallowing hard, Beth stared fearfully at the man, her eyes large and expecting.

As he began to speak, Casey's words seemed to catch the attention from everyone else, as well. He looked over at Leo, "R'member how we searched everywhere for April, lookin fer 'er in every ally, dump and trash bin, but…we didn't find nuttin' for days – not even a scrape of clothin'?" He glanced upwards at Raph next, hoping for some measure of understanding, only to meet his friend's enraged eyes. Casey sighed, realizing the futility of such hope. Dropping his head again, he whispered, "Just 'bout drove me insane." He paused for a moment, though, as emotions spilled over him again, stunting his voice once more.

Hearing Casey's voice again almost overwhelmed Beth. He seemed so different, now, than how he sounded years earlier, when he sat in court during her rape trial. Back then and during the proceedings, his voice seemed raspy and strained whenever he spoke; as if talking wasn't something that he did very often. He almost appeared slightly brain-damaged, too, from whatever substance abuse he had practiced at the time. In fact, it was his drug and drinking habits his defense attorney used to explain his attack on Beth. Based on how his lawyer presented it, because of Casey's muddled mental state, he had been unaware of his actions against Beth at the time. Even Casey's subdued voice, seemingly soft with contrition, implied as much. Yet, it did little good and in the end, the judge sentenced him to prison.

And, if Beth remembered correctly, he should still be in prison, too, if not for the letter explaining why. It seemed that whatever changes Casey had gone through these past five years, it was obvious that he had impressed someone enough to solicit for his early release.

Now, as she assessed the man's deep, baritone voice, she took note that it was soft with contrition, even remorseful – and not the same as it was years earlier.

It briefly surprised the girl.

Nevethteless, as she stood there behind Mike and Don and recalled what Casey did to her, Beth knew she could never forget that Arnold 'Casey' Jones was the one who had ruined her life. Remembering this simple fact only renewed her hate for the man all over again and in that moment, as far as Beth was concerned, Casey could go to hell and she wouldn't give him a second thought.

Casey soon found his voice again, with its rich, baritone texture breaking the silence once more, "Afteh a while – I…I think it was the two week mark, I'd given up hope of evah seein' April again. But when Mikey called and said he'd found'er, I wanted to sprout wings and shoot over there as fast as I could." Casey looked into Leonardo's eyes and saw a measure of understanding there. Encouraged, he continued, "I didn't catch how sad Mike sounded on the phone. I totally missed it. Still, I couldn't get there fast enough. All that mattered t'me was that he found 'er!" Casey's expression tightened and his eyes pooled with tears, as he choked out, "I couldn't believe what those creeps did t'her, though, mangling her like that, abusing her the way they did." His voice trembled, noe, from pent up rage, with anger edging his words, "I could'a torn the city in half." He looked up at the blue-masked turtle, "We didn't get the happy endin', did we, Leo? We failed April and in the worse poss'ble way."

Raph shuffled a bit on his feet but still managed to steel himself against Casey's words. For just a moment, hearing his friend's recollected account about how they had found April, rekindled his own grief. Nevertheless, he persevered, forcing back the lump forming in his throat. He gave a quick, sideways glance towards his two brothers standing near Beth, to see how they were reacting. Not surprisingly, he saw Mike swipe at his snout with the back of his hand, all too aware of how they had found April since he had found her first, while Don swallowed hard.

Even after seven years, the pain was still fresh.

If only Case understood what we truly lost that day, t'do what he did t'Beth, Casey should commit seppuku! It just ain't right, the turtle in red grumbled to himself.

Then, a low growl broke the stillness again, only this time it wasn't from Raphael. As the sharp enunciation of Casey's next words grounded out, he had center stage once again, "Right aftah her family buried April, I dedicated m'life to findin' the lowlifes responsible fer her death. I wasn't goin' t'stop until I brought justice to her." His breathing ragged, now, Casey balled his fists in anger, "I looked everywhere, in every alley, every warehouse – whether abandoned or not – and I must've beat up every punk this side a'Jersey just t'find out who it was that'd killed her." He shook his head, "But, no mattah who I found or talked to or knocked senseless, no one knew." He looked up into Leonardo's eyes, then, as he remarked, "Oh, you and me both know it was the Foot, but they can't be Foot twenty-four seven, if ya get my drift. Someone's gonna talk at some point, crow on about how they finally got back at ya an' – an' me." Casey swallowed then, as he nearly whispered, "After a month or two of this, I finally realized that whoever it was, they were keeping tight lipped about it. Maybe that was their intention; kill off April and then fold in on themselves, just so's we can't get revenge." He glanced at Raphael, "I think you can understand how frustrating THAT could be, eh, bro?"

"Yer not my bro – anymore!" Raph spat, whipping out his sai as he leaned into Casey's face, "I know all too well what HAPPENED, Case. What I don't know is what happened to ya to go and hurt someone as innocent as Beth?"

Casey met his friend's gaze and then sighed as he explained, "Yeah, 'bout that…well…ya see, aftah I realized I wasn't gonna get anythin' from runnin' all oveh New York or beatin' heads in, I didn't know what else t'do. I was – frustrated." He took in a deep breath, "I was still grievn', too. I just couldn't get rid of the picture in my mind, how Ap looked when we found her; hands a bloody mess with her fingers missin', her face all bruised and puffed up so bad, we barely recognized 'er." Shaking his head again, Casey admitted, "So I decided to get away, go to th'farm, hang out a while, try to…forget…only, I – couldn't forget."

Casey's head then drooped even more as he sniffed, "I had nightmares for weeks an' I don't think I slept much, eitheh. After a couple o'months, I couldn't take it anymore. There were mem'ries of her at the farm, too, mem'ries she made, and they haunted me non-stop. Couldn't get away from 'em and it seemed April was tellin' me from the grave that I wasted my time takin' my time tell'n 'er how much I loved'er." He looked up at Leo again, "I came close a couple times of tellin' her, but I always…well, chickened out. Still should've told her how I felt, before she died, she would've at least died knowin' that." His breathing hitched as he remarked, "I…I regret that most…of all."

Now, Raphael growled low, thoroughly offended by Casey's last comment. Still, Leonardo only had to raise a hand to give his brother a warning look, though, in order to silence him. He then turned his attention back to Casey again and implored, "Go on, Case, we'll listen to you."

Casey paused, somewhat unsure, but only for a moment. He then continued, "Anyways, after I'd been at the old farmhouse fer a while, one night I went t'town fer supplies, thinkin' I'd hole up just a while longer. The thought of goin' back to th'city almost made me sic, and I thought that if I just stayed away, maybe her ghost would get tired a'me an' leave."

Casey now gazed out across the darkened harbor, towards the bejeweled city of New York, "that's…when I decided a good bottle o'whiskey might help. I never did believe in drowning one's sorrows, but – I had never lost anyone like we did with April. As it turned out, I ended up buying more than one bottle," he chuckled derisively, "Bought me an entire case, in fact. 'Had the money, after all. April's last will and testament did me well, so I thought I'd toast her life. An', as big a life as she had, I did it equal justice, too."

Casey Jones continued to stare across the ebony waters of the East River, ignoring the inquisitors and his victim's angry stare, as he launched into his story…

………..

"After I began drinkin' I remember very little about m'stay at the farm, cuz I was drunk most of the time. I liked the fact that when I was drunk, I'd forget about 'er. Anyway, that case I bought only lasted 'bout a couple a'weeks and then I had to back to th'store fer more. Then, I'd begin the process all over again.

"All that time, though, I kept think'n 'bout her last words, 'bout how she said she never gave in to 'them'. Those words haunted me the most. I don't know if they would have spared her life had she told 'em where ya lived, but a part of me wish she had. I think we could'a handled the Foot better than losin' April.

"Anyway, I must've cut myself a few times, too. When I'd sober up, I had lacerations on my arms and face and legs. I noticed some of th' empties that had broken and littered the downstairs like landmines. Amazin' I didn't cut an artery or somethin' and bleed out." Casey's voice softened and he glanced over at Beth, "All things considered, it might've been bettah if I had."

Casey resumed his story telling, then, "I think I must have had raging fits, too, 'cuz most of the furniture was busted. Always found somethin' broke whenever the booze wore off and, of course, it only made me drink again, jus' t'ferget.

"One day, several months after I settled in at the farm, I had a thought. It was like an epiph'ny. I was my usual drunken self, but I knew I needed to go back t'New York. I kept think'n about all those times Raph and me would run across the city, bustin' up drug deals, savin' ladies from muggin's or… worse, and just havin' a good ol'time knockin' heads around. I kept wonderin' how you four – er, five – were doin', wonderin' if maybe Master Splinter would be able to help me understand why we had to lose Ap. I missed his lectures, ya know."

Leonardo smiled a bit and he barely caught the faintest of quirks along Raphael's mouth. But the line along Raph's lipless maw straightened once again to the no-nonsense expression he was sporting for the past few minutes. Both brothers turned their attention back to Casey, again, as the man continued with his story…

"Then, I realized that I was bein' kinda selfish, where it was you four who introduced me t'April in the first place. You'd have more reason to mourn her passin' than I did; she was your closest human friend, the first of my species to accept ya. That's when I decided t'sober up. Must have downed two pots of coffee and prob'ly made a dozen trips to the bathroom 'fore I felt half-way sober, 'nuff ta drive reasonably straight. That was when I decided t'go back to New York and try t'find you guys. So, I packed my gear into the truck, took one last look at the place, and headed out, leavin' my bottles behind.

"Guess I wasn't as sober as I should've been, though, cuz I wasn't more than an hour on the road when I found myself rollin' the truck into a ditch. Funny thing is, I clearly remembeh how surprised I was, wonderin' if maybe I got t-boned or somethin'. I don't really recall how it happened, but I do remember the ride, and it wasn't anythin' I'd want to repeat again, lemme tell ya. Made me so dizzy I felt like puking!"

Mike muffled an amused bark of laughter, clasping a hand over his mouth as Leo shot him a warning glare. The turtle in orange only shrugged in response as he said, "Sorry."

Once more, Casey continued talking…

"Either way, I don't remembah what happened after that since I was sort of knocked out. Guess I was lucky, too. My safety belt saved m'life. Don't know why I belted myself in, since I never made a habit of it before, but maybe April was watching out fer me, ya know? Maybe she put it in my head t'buckle up.

"When I finally woke up, though, I found myself in a hospital. My whole body felt bruised all over - and it ached, 'specially my back, but the doctor said it wasn't anything serious. Prob'ly bruised muscles to go wit my concussion, but nuttin' that would warrant a longer hospital stay, so he released me. Gave me some strong painkillers fer my back, too, but if ya know anythin' about drugs mixin' with an alcohol-saturated body, it's a done deal pain pills would become my best friend in a hurry. I was feelin' pretty sorry fer myself, too, and still grievin' over losin' April.

"Anyway, with my truck beyond repair, I used whateveh money I had left and hunkered down again, this time in a cheap motel. I hoped that I'd recover enough to take a bus to the city. I knew bettah, too, than mixing alcohol with those pills, so I quit drinkin' but – like I said –my body was already pickled. Those pills only brought me a new kind of oblivion.

"I must have stayed a couple of months, but I didn't get any better, except for what relief the pills gave me. So, I ended up runnin' out of money pretty quick and soon found m'self out on my rear. The motel manager didn't take kindly to loafers and I found m'self hitchin' a ride to the big city still in pain. Right after I got t'New York, I lost my last bottle of 'heaven'- must of left it on the bus - and before long I felt the jitters. The pain came back worse that before, too, and I thought fer sure I'd lose my mind.

"It didn't take long fer me to realize I had a problem, but without any money, I didn't have any way t'get help. All I could think of was getting' me some pills to dull the pain."

Casey looked up at his friends again and sighed, then moved on to the rest of his story.

"I thought of callin' you guys, but I was ashamed with my condition. Didn't want to burden you more than you already were, 'bout losin' April and all. I figured the last thing you needed was a pain-riddled alcoholic on yer hands, a li'bil'ty. So, I found me a cardboard box in an alley I knew none of you used and thought maybe I could beat the demon on m'own, so to speak.

"You know, it's amazin' what a person'll do who's desperate. The DT's wouldn't go away an' they got worse wit each passing moment, it seemed. If that guy hadn't taken a wrong turn into the alley where I was, I think I might have beaten it, but – well – he seemed wealthy enough to have cash on him – an' I desperately needed cash to get the drugs – so, I swallowed my pride an' – mugged him. Neveh thought I'd eveh do somethin' like that, but – well – as I said, I was desperate. That was when I wished I'd died in that accident.

"Funny thing is, once you do something like what I did, the next time ain't so hard. Afteh I bought my meds, I had t'change living quarters. The police prob'ly already had a report from th'guy and in a small way, I was glad. I mean, at least I didn't kill him, ya know? Still, I didn't waste time feelin' too guilty. Last thing I needed was getting' tossed inta jail. It'd be just m'luck they'd bunk me in with some punk I'd help put away.

"I also found that those meds I bought off the supplier were different somehow. Stronger, I think, because I needed more of them more frequently. Yeah, should'a known betteh than to buy from some street vendor, but – I was desperate fer pain relief.

"Anyways, I found me a niche in the park, somewheres away from where most of th'people gathered; must have lived that way fer a good year. No one eveh discovered me; I was careful 'bout that. I'd find all kinds of change and lost bills in the park, too, which limited how many times I'd have t'mug someone or pick pocket. I always did my 'work' well away from Central, though, since I didn't want t'change 'addresses' all the time. You guys taught me well enough 'bout usin' shadows and how to slip away unseen."

A low sudden growl now came from Raphael as he interrupted Casey's account. He roared angrily, as spittle sprayed in all directions, "It's not why we taught ya that, brain-dead!"

"I know that, Raph," Casey admitted softly, "and I'm sorry for dishonorin' ninjitsu like I did, but ya have to understand…" but Raphael's sudden rage cut him off again.

"I only understand," the ninja roared, his right hand grabbing and hefting the man to a stand with one single fluidic motion, "that you raped and almost killed an innocent girl!" He then had the point of his left sai at the man's throat before Leo or anyone else could stop him, "No excuse, not even drugs. And you ADMIT to wanting to DIE? Well, lemme be the first t'help with that, Case!"

Casey's eyes went wide – as did Beth's – while everyone else scrambled desperately towards Raphael.