Due to inner prompting, we have an early, interesting chapter written while I was supposed to be taking notes in American Government. (No joke,)
Fireblade K'Chona- That's odd. I could've sworn that it said that Alberich was making Jeri the Weaponsmaster in… I think either Take a Thief or one of the Arrows books… / Nope, sorry.
Amber Stag- Punkin, as you stated before, I am the omnipotent Authoress. I can make mountains crack, and rivers flood. I can make Rowen dance the Macarena in front of everyone he knows, but I won't, unless it makes sense. And somehow… this makes sense… somehow, someway.
Once again… THANK YOU MISCHAKITSUNE!
Hint: The reincarnated Herald/Companion pair was Shensa and Lihandra, reincarnated from Lissandra and Shonsea from LHM. I didn't really mention that Lihandra was a Companion, but I didn't want to make it too obvious. And Shensa just has the name because it's easier to spot the reincarnations when both partners have similar names to the old. And before anyone asks, Rowen and Julian are not reincarnated from anyone.
Hope is the destination that we seek.
Love is the path that leads to hope.
Courage is the motor that drives us.
We travel out of darkness into faith.
-The Book of Counted Sorrows
Chapter 15: "And Then There's Rowen…"
"I've been feeling a pain in my chest since I woke up this morning," Julian complained to the Healer. "It's not really an injury pain, more like an echo pain; like a shadow. I had a nightmare last night, and was thrashing about, but I doubt the two are connected. I'm not really concerned, but it is distracting, and I wanted to have someone look at it.
"Ah. Where, exactly is the pain?" The Healer- Masaan asked him.
"Two places, but one isn't my chest. The chest pain is here," Julian gestured to a spot on the right side of his chest. "And the other- here." He pressed a hand to the area in his right side, between his ribs and his hips.
"Hmm. Have you been exercising a lot lately?"
At Julian's negative response, he continued. "Eating strangely? Been near any new animals? Do you have any allergies?"
"No, no and no."
He could hear the frown in Masaan's voice. "I'm going to scan you for a moment. I don't think it's anything dangerous, but it could be something that the Empire cooked up."
Julian nodded, and sat quietly on the chair that Masaan pointed him in the direction of. When he let down his shields- something he did only rarely- the pain increased tenfold and he gasped, and clamped his arms around the formerly mostly-quiescent areas.
"What-" Masaan's eyes widened. "Bard!" he barked. "Shields up! Now!" Julian obediently slammed them up, and he gasped again in relief as the pain lessened.
"What… was that?" he wheezed out when he could speak again.
"The battle was early this morning," the Healer mused.
"You aren't a strong Empath, are you?"
"My power is very small," Julian explained. "I can feel living things, and if I'm emotional- other things, but I'm definitely not strong enough to feel the battle from here."
"Emotional connections can sometimes boost range and strength… are you emotionally attached to anyone over there?"
Julian thought for a moment. "Well, I've met a few of the gryphons…" he said slowly. "And I would consider some of the Heralds as friends… and then there's Rowen. I consider him a very close friend," he said, trying to ignore the fluttering in his stomach that, ever since the incident on the Plains, seemed to spring up whenever he thought of the Changechild.
"Just a friend?"
Julian felt his face grow warm. "Yes," he stammered, and felt a familiar rush of loneliness. "Just a friend."
"Is he one of the Heralds?" Masaan asked.
"No- he's..." Julian grasped for the words in Hardornen. "The horse-man. The one with the strong face and black coat… with the black hair and green eyes, but with a body of fire and a demeanor of absolute stillness."
'There's a song in there,' he mused.
"Might I ask you how-"
Masaan was cut off by a scream from elsewhere in the castle.
"What was that?" both men asked simultaneously.
Another scream followed, and Masaan cursed. "Foolish women. Stay here- I'll be right back." He left the Bard alone in the room lit by candles that he could not see.
Julian extended his senses through his shields, to make sure he was totally alone. He was. Cautiously he let down the carefully crafted shields that had obviously not been well-crafted enough, to let in a barrage of feeling from the same source.
Pain!
Julian lost himself in a whirlwind of feeling with but a single thought at its center.
Pain!
He tried to draw breath but spasmed as pain! shot through his left side.
He was dimly aware of another pain in his right torso, in the juncture between waist and ribs, but the firepain in the left of his chest overpowered it. Pain was all around him, and it was his world; he was it was him was all.
Fire lanced through him- screaming…
A name… Rowen…
A second name… Julian…
Everything came flooding back, and he was aware that something terrible had happened… to… to… to… Rowen.
Empty
Gone
Loss
NO!
screaming
Rowen… faint, so faint… like a glowing wick on a candle at the end of a long, dark, drafty tunnel. Faint… then gone. Julian pulled and the candle came back, lit by some hand unseen. It grew slowly stronger, and Julian knew that it would stay lit now- a glass bell surrounded it, protecting it from the dark wind of the night. But it was fragile, still fragile…
He could feel his body beckoning and knew that he'd overextended himself too much… the pull from his body grew stronger, and he let it reel him in. Someone was shaking realJulian.
SpiritJulian drifted back into his body and let the full force of mortal agony come over him. His mind ached. Masaan was bent over him; the heat from his body was radiating into a freezing, all-there Julian.
"Bard?" his voice sounded fuzzy to the Bard's ears. "Bard, are you ill?"
With every rise and change in his voice, Julian's head felt like a bell that was struck by a giant hammer wielded by an ogre.
"Please," he managed to whisper. "Shhh. Overextended myself… Need… quiet. Rowen… hurt… please help… him."
"Easy, lad. Here- sit down. By the Hundred Little Gods, boy! What did you do?"
The man sounded angry and afraid as he helped Julian into a padded chair.
"Let… shields… down." His head was pounding, and he couldn't hear or think very well. Masaan let out a sound of disgust.
"I told you not to do that!" There was a pause. "What did you see?"
"Ha… see… Felt him… he's hurt… badly… I think he… died… but I… pulled… him back." He paused for a long while to catch his breath while Masaan bustled around the room. From the sounds and smells of it, he was making tea, and Julian longed for something, anything to take away the pain.
"What was… wrong upstairs?" he finally managed.
"Chancellor Hythrel was found dead this morning in his room. One of the maids found him- that was what the screaming was about. But that's not the problem. The Chancellor was assassinated. And-" he hesitated. "The way he was killed. It's an Imperial tradition, and it sends a specific message. 'Your leader is next.' He's going to kill King Tremane, and we have no idea who it is. All we know is that he's a mage, definitely a male, and will probably kill Tremane within a week. It's a clear message from the Empire. They're going to move in- but then again, they might not have gotten word back about the victory at Castogol."
"We won?" Julian asked, dazed.
"Yes. There are few wounded, and fewer dead-" Julian's stomach lurched. "And we've retaken the town. The Army is riding to evacuate all of the planned towns, and the wounded are being sent back here."
'Wounded-'
"Is Rowen okay? Is he coming back?" Julian asked frantically.
"Easy. They were moving too fast and not stopping often enough or long enough for us to get a clear message on the teleson, but one of the Heralds was injured, eight of the kyree and five of the ratha were injured, and three of the gryphons. And your Changechild," he added. "As well as a score of the humans-"
"Rowen- what's wrong with him, did they say?"
The silence in the air grew tense.
"Masaan. Masaan, tell me. I need to know!" Julian insisted. "Please," he pleaded. "Tell me what's wrong with Rowen."
"He's in a coma, lad. The Healers can't bring him out of it, and they say that his soul is frozen. He almost died once, but then something brought him back enough for them to patch up his body for him to stay stable. But he still won't wake up, and that's a problem. None of the Healers with them can reach his soul. He told one of the kyree his last words- the wolf'll have them when he comes in, the kyree never forget. There's not much hope."
"Oh," was all Julian could say. If Rowen was gone… what would he do? He brought his arms around his body, hugging himself, and willed the tears not to fall.
'But he came back last time!' his mind protested. 'And he was fine after that,' his heart added.
An arm slid around his shoulders, rubbing his upper arm in what seemed to be a comforting way, and he felt the heat from Masaan's body flowing into him.
He sniffled, and a hand tilted his face to the side.
"Lad, it'll be okay."
"No," he said quietly. "No it won't. If he dies…"
Warm breath tickled the side of his face and he mentally frowned. Something was wrong here…
"You'll be okay."
Julian sighed and breathed in the sterile air before one of the bigger shocks in his life occurred.
Masaan kissed him. Julian's mind went numb.
Betrayalshockfearhopelustneedbetrayalfearshockbetrayalneedbetrayal-
Masaan was kissing him- and Julian realized, in an epiphany of feeling, that there was only one person he ever wanted to do that. Only one person ever again.
He pushed himself away from the Healer, leaving himself sprawled in the middle of the floor and Masaan's eyes boring into him.
"Masaan- no!"
"Isn't this what you wanted, Julian?"
"Yes- no!" he corrected himself. "I want- comfort, but not in that way. Not in that way from you… I'm sorry."
Even though his Gift was screaming at him, he opened it anyway. He could feel shame radiating off of Masaan, and guilt, and a horrible feeling of self-doubt.
The man was just sitting there, staring at Julian but not staring. The shame started to seep into Julian, and he knew he had to fix this before the man went overboard.
"Masaan," Julian began quietly. "I'm sorry. You're a very nice guy, and you've got very good intentions, but I can't- I just couldn't-"
It was now or never; time to admit to himself what he'd known inside for a long time.
"I'm in love with someone else, Masaan. To have you comfort me in that way would be a betrayal to my bond with him. He may not feel the same way, but I just wouldn't be able to, and it would feel almost like consensual rape to me. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Masaan whispered.
"I am-" Julian's voice wavered. "I am in love with Rowen shena Tale'sedrin, and I wouldn't give it up; not for the world, not for all the wealth in the world, not for the wealth in all of the worlds, or power of a hundred Adept mages. I love him," he repeated slowly, "and nothing in the world can change that."
'I would go through a hundred lifetimes of being blind and deaf, without music, without light, without sound, just to spend this lifetime with him. He may not and can not ever know it, but I will love him no matter what. I will bring him out of that coma. For him, I'll do anything.'