CH 8: Home

The house was just as it had been the last time Catherine had been there but there was a distinct difference about it. Not visibly but most definitely she could feel it. Maybe it was the fact that now that she understood the things that had happened there she could truly regret them to the extent they deserved to be regretted.

"Catherine, go help your father get the things from the car, would you dear?" A twinkling tone bounced from each corner of the room and crawled its way into the young girl's ears. She obeyed and headed out to the driveway where Kade and Mr. Anders were hauling in bags of groceries. She cringed and glided her following movements to make it seem as if she was shaking from the cold wind swirling around her beige coat.

"There's just a few more things, Cathy." The older male smiled genuinely and the girl couldn't help but return the favor. Kade followed right behind their father and Catherine refused to make eye contact with the boy.

"This ought to be interesting, huh sis?" He whispered as they crossed and that was it.

After all the ingredients were in the home Mrs. Anders shooed everyone from the kitchen on the pretext that she rather see everyone relaxing as they waited for the food though everyone knew quite well that it was because she couldn't stand a crowded kitchen. Mr. Anders didn't even insist and headed directly to the TV he was longing for. He didn't bother calling Kade; since he knew the boy never had a single bit of interest for sports. Catherine used the dispersion of the family to go out for a walk despite how chilly it was.

Step by step Catherine strolled down the streets of her old neighborhood; it was hazy but she could still make out memories of her younger self. She seemed much more distraught compared to those visions. A cold breeze swept in from behind her and she stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket, she wished she'd brought a thicker one at that moment. Feeling her phone she suddenly became a few degrees colder than she already was. Ever since arriving she'd noticed how much she had actually grown attached to Tadashi. She could feel somehow that he was hovering over the phone, thinking about how much it would cost him morally to give in and call her. She hoped he didn't. She was already regretting having gone and a call in from her boyfriend (or at least she hoped he still could be considered that) would be just the excuse she needed to run away from the confrontation just on the horizon. Catherine could feel the tension welling up in the house. All four of them were awkward strangers who knew everything about one another. Kade was the only person Catherine could still risk calling family. No matter how much he interrupted her drawn-out path in life she could at least always feel he was there to remind her that he was there because he kept in touch with her reality. The girl shook the device out of her fingers and pulled her hands out of her pockets again, deciding to head back to the house for warmth.

As she reached the front of the house she suddenly lost all interest in going in to see her parents only to be ignored by them ergo being forced to ignore them as well to not be irritating. A burst of irresponsibility most present in teenagers took over her all at once and she rounded to the side of the house where the window to Kade's room was. It wasn't the first time she'd do that and in that very moment if felt like the most correct form to enter that house. As she stumbled into the room her eyes rose to find Kade standing over his perfectly made bed. He looked over to his sister from the corner of his eyes and smirked. She stood still and speechless.

"I knew you wouldn't resist doing that whenever you came back." He giggled as he looked at her emotionless face.

"This room is the heart of the house after all." She finally responded.

"Why do you say that?" He questioned her casually sitting on the dark blue sheets.

"It's the only room that I ever saw any true emotion in." She switched her gaze from the floor to her brother's dark pupils a soft spark of light shining in their center.

"So you chose not to forget those things." His usual sarcastic tone was turned into a weak whisper now.

"It's complicated ...I find it more comprehensible now. I owed it a level of emotion I couldn't give it at the time. I guess...I'm still in mourning."

"I fucked you up, didn't I?" Kade's lips shook and Catherine sat beside him on the bed.

"Does it even matter? This family's all wrong anyway." She took his hand as they recalled the scene as it was 7 years ago.

Sniffling could be heard inside the dark room. The boy bit his plump lips so hard he could barely feel any blood pumping through them at all. His skin felt translucent and disgraceful like he was made of plastic. If he could he would become invisible.

"Kade?" A small voice was breathed from the door and equally small hands opened the door and walked in.

"What the hell are you doing here, Catherine?" The teenager barked at his sister who didn't care much about his cursing.

"Did you get beat up again?" The girl asked tucking a lock of long hair behind her ear and locking the door.

"No. Just get the fuck out."

"Shut up. What's wrong with you?" The girl walked closer to her sibling and shifted her head to see his face. Abruptly he stood from the bed and grabbed at the young adolescent's shoulders.

"I SAID GET OUT!" He hissed and the girl's eyes grew wide.

"Kade, your lips are blue. What are you feeling?" She ignored his aggressive manner and placed her hands over the boy's forehead. At those actions he broke down and a stream of tears started pouring down his cheeks.

"I don't feel anything anymore." He mumbled through his sobbing and faltered back until he fell onto his bed.

"Kade?" The anxiety in the girl's voice was obvious but after many years seeing her brother battered and broken she'd grown accustomed to keeping her reactions to a minimum.

"I'm...I...let her do it." The boy sputtered things that Catherine didn't understand but she had a feeling it wasn't good.

"Kade, just tell me what happened."

"It's too late, Cathy. It's done." Kade was hiccupping at this point which only made Catherine even more worried about what it was.

"Mrs. Harold." At the sound of the familiar name Catherine felt a deathly shiver roll down her spine. What could the chemistry teach possibly have done to Kade?

"What happened, Kade?" The girl said firmly and Kade stopped weeping only long enough to confess the twisted deeds of the teacher. Catherine's young mind stopped processing for a few minutes after the newfound information. Was it possible for Kade to be speaking of the same woman she knew? Women...they don't do things like that...right? To...to abuse people...why didn't...

"...you say anything?" Catherine asked undignified.

"She blackmailed me. She said she'd tell mom and dad all about my bot fighting."

"No...this is all wrong." Catherine held onto her brother tighter than ever trying to make that memory fade out of him.

"I'm really useless. I...I can't believe that I let this happen." He squeezed his sister's hand and she felt like justifying him.

"It's not your fault. Sometimes...bad things happen...but we can get through them." The girl barely could find the right words.

Kade scoffed and pushed the girl off his bed.

"How would you know? Everything works out perfect for you, don't they, Cathy?"

"Kade." The girl looked up to her brother from the floor and felt a stinging in her eyes.

"Get out of here. Tell mom and dad if you want. Tell the whole world how much of a mess your demon brother is! Just get the fuck out of my room!"

Catherine stood and unlocked the door before turning and giving her brother a shocked look.

"Leave!" He commanded through tears and she obeyed.

"There's a storm coming you know?" Kade was referring to their mother undeniably shocking against the girl.

"I know. I came after it."

"Dinner's ready!" The siblings heard their mother's voice coming from downstairs and looked at each other as if preparing.

"Then get ready to go into the eye of it." Kade stood and Catherine made her way out the window to reenter through the door.

After a few words from Mr. Anders the family took their seats and commenced eating. The table was a sure banquet and everything looked splendid.

"So, Cathy, this is your last year, tell us how it's been." The father said with a small smile.

"Good...actually great. I kind of stumbled a little during the first half but everything's back on track..." Catherine's words trickled into more of a whisper towards the end of her phrase. Were they really back on track? She never questioned her capability to pass in any of the classes or even hesitated on whether she would be able to turn in a paper on time but now that Tadashi was in her life she constantly found herself wondering if she really was on track...with her life.

The girl looked up from her plate to the people surrounding her and swallowed hard. She didn't know her father, she hated her mother and Kade was just as broken as she was; in the end she wasn't so on track. She forced herself to make out one name that she could consider an actual friend but nothing came to her.

"That's good." The woman sitting beside Mr. Anders smiled while bringing a fork up to her mouth.

"Mom." Catherine directed a word to her mother for the first time since she got there.

"What is it dear?"

The other two looked up. Catherine never started a conversation with Mrs. Anders, if anything she avoided her mother. But there she was looking straight into the woman's eyes and calling her "mom".

"Are you even capable of saying something truthfully?"

Mrs. Anders swallowed the food she had in her mouth calmly and stared back at her daughter.

"What are talking about, honey?"

"See, there, you're doing it again. You're always like that; fake."

"Catherine." The woman warns in a low but peaceful tone.

"Just stop it! We all know you're not really like that. We've seen your fights with uncle David and we know where you come from, mom, stop trying to act like you're someone perfect."

"Catherine, I think you should..." The father tries to intervene but is cut off.

"You too, dad. All you ever did was sit besides her nodding to all her false motherly love." Catherine's eyes were glistening with undignified bravery.

"I don't care if we're all screwed up but at least let's be honest about it! Can any of you even actually say one thing you're honestly thankful for or is this dinner just part of the show too?" At this point Catherine was standing and ready to leave the table when a low sniffle broke the deafening silence. All eyes were on the woman sitting with her head hanging.

"You're right." Her voice trembled and suddenly Catherine's rage all seeped through her body and she was left as flabbergast as the other two.

"You're right. We're all fake; I'm a fake person with a fake life but you know what Catherine? So are you!" The woman rose from her seat and finally unleashed the distilled form of all her thorny comments and looks.

"You think we don't know how you prance about in that college like you've got everything under control? You don't answer our calls and you pretend that your family doesn't exist because you don't want anyone to know how "screwed up" we are but you're the one running from everything."

"I'm not running from everything! I'm running from you! Kade may be nuisances to me but at least I know that the things he says to me, no matter how irritable they are, he says them because they were on his mind. I can't see that with you guys." She whispered the last part while switching her view to her father.

"You treat me like the family prodigy but you make me feel like the rebel."

"Have you ever thought, Catherine, that maybe we're inconstant with you because you're always keeping us on our toes?" That was the first confrontational thing her father had said since she'd arrived and it hit her harder that anything.

"It's the agony of having you act like we're either enemies or judges that makes us unstable about what you really are." His dark blue eyes stared straight through the girl ahead of him and without noticing the girl felt something on her face. It was something wet and warm and only when Kade took her hand did she realize she'd been sobbing.

"I don't want to be anything but your daughter." She whimpered as she looked to the couple on the other side of the table.

"We've all been pretending for too long." Kade said finally looking up from Catherine's face to his parents.

The food sat on the table untouched and at the whole vibration of the room was far from a holiday gathering but at least one thing was sure; they had finally something to be grateful for.