1.1.16, Fri
A/N: This is what happens when you get sucked into reading fanfiction as you wait for Jools' countdown.
Yep. That's right. You get...
...inspired. *shudder* It is waaaay too late/early to be writing, but now I have to. Thank you, New Year(!)
If You Want A Job Done Properly
Hermione worried her lip nervously. Harry was having one of his 'Death Eater - Red Alert!' episodes and she could see exactly how it would end. He'd just spoken to the victim of the crime when the perpetrator had shuffled in and all but confessed with his ridiculously doleful expression. This could mean only one thing: Angry Teenage Male Protocol One - Toublemaking for Oneself and One's Peers. Joy. She let out a little sigh and clicked her tongue. People are so predictable.
"Huh? Who? What? Oi, 'Mione, did you say something?" She shook her head.
"No. Go back to your food." She winced inwardly as his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Perhaps that had been a little too blunt.
"'Mione-"
"Back in a minute, Ron." Ignoring him, she swung her legs off the bench and into her other charge.
"Ow! Bloody hell, Hermione - get out of the way!" Crossing her legs to further block his path, she raised an eyebrow.
"So that you can go panting after Malfoy like a lovesick puppy?" Watching him turn scarlet and splutter was fun, she decided. Alas, she had somewhere to be. "I'll take this one." She rose from her seat and swept after That Poor Boy/That Bloody Death Eater.
The boys' toilets? Really? She scrunched her nose up as she slipped past the door - and just as swiftly pressed herself against the side of a cubicle. Malfoy was at a sink - well, clinging onto it for dear life - and he looked like he was trying to be sick. He'd pulled off his tie and vest and was sort of panting at his reflection. Then without warning, he added noise to the picture, and she realised why the scene was slightly familiar.
Malfoy - Draco Bloody Malfoy - was crying. No, honestly - he was sobbing his little heart out, poor kid. Hermione exhaled softly. This was awkward. It was feeding the tiny spark of maternal kindness that she kept locked away somewhere. Oh, shush! She chided. We've never yet needed you, nor any of your compatriots (joy, fear, sadness, guilt, rage), and we're not going to start now just because a little boy is crying. She slipped out of her corner and leant against a column, crossing her arms and assuming a generally casual pose.
"'If they should ask us why we died, tell them that our fathers lied.'" Malfoy whipped round to face her with horror slapped across his face.
"Granger?!" The corner of her lip almost twitched upward. Stop it!
"Muggle quote. From the First World War. All the young men signed up at first. Volunteered. As far as they were concerned, they were fighting a brave and noble war for King and country. 'Huzzah! Huzzah! And Long Live the King!'" She paused for effect as she let her eyes meet his. "Naturally, it was kept quiet that the whole disaster that cost so many millions of lives was all over a squabble between cousins. Well - that, or a ham sandwich in Bosnia-Herzegovina. Depends who you ask."
"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?!" He hissed. She pouted thoughtfully.
"Why, I was under the impression that I was drawing quite an exemplary parallel with the upcoming Wizarding War and the First World War of 1914 to 1918." She felt a smirk bubbling up as his fists clenched and he gritted his teeth. What is is with this one and my feelings?
"That's not what I meant and you know it. What are you doing?" She let her expression return to its natural state. Blank.
"Making idle conversation. Whiling away my precious minutes of free time before I have to go back to babysitting. Caring about your mental health. Saving your life." She tilted her head to the left. "What would you like me to be here for?" A beat. "And don't say anything inappropriate. If you do, I'll rip off your arm so you'll never see that tattoo again, either because it's gone when you wake up or because you've bled to death." He managed to pale even further - she hadn't thought it was possible - but recovered quickly. He snorted.
"In your dreams, Granger. As if I'd ever - if I'd - that's disgusting." Creeping ever closer, she maintained eye contact.
"Of course, of course - well-bred little pureblood prince couldn't possibly sully himself with such a filthy creature. But - you're not a prince any more, are you? Not since the king reclaimed his throne. No, I'm afraid your status is very much... probationary at present, isn't it?" They were almost nose-to-nose. Malfoy gripped the sink as he leaned back over it. He swallowed. "And yet, it always was, in a way, wasn't it? I remember when we were still children. Before we were soldiers in a war not of our making... you knew. You were so desperate for our attention - mine and the boys'. It's almost trademarked - doesn't get enough attention at home, will do anything at all to gain it, ends up unable to differentiate between positive and negative. It's classic. Textbook." Her words were so soft she was hissing them now.
Suddenly, Malfoy's terror deserted him. His entire body tensed and he lurched forward, forcing Hermione back until he was clear of both her and the sink by a few feet. Good lad.
"Get to the point or leave me alone." She delicately raised an eyebrow.
"You wanted our attention then. You chose your father's approval above everything else, and now you've chosen survival. What you didn't realise was that you still wanted our attention. These stunts you've been pulling - it's as if you want to be caught. You do want to be caught - you want to be stopped. To be brought into the light and told it will be alright." She gave an unexpected little giggle. Oh, I give up. Goodbye, cold logic. It was fun while it lasted. Wait - no it wasn't! That was the whole bloody point! "Well, we can't do that. It's no fun being a soldier on this side, either - and don't talk to me about friends and nobility and righteousness and all that utter tosh. That's for average intellects, not their babysitters. Not for their childhood nemesis, either, before you start getting ideas." His eyes are wild now, like a trapped animal.
"What can you do for me then?!" He spat at her.
"It's more what I can do for you, really. The boys wouldn't be able to think of it on their own, I'm afraid, and frankly they're too volatile to be upset right now. It's best that we keep it between ourselves and out of range of the dear little hormone-driven rage monsters, don't you think?" He stared at her.
"They're your friends, Granger. Since when are you so - so -"
"Try not to think about it," she advised. "It'll only give you a headache. Speaking of which - how would you like to learn Occlumency? You'll need it to stay alive in your line of work."
"You haven't said what it is yet. Who says I'll accept, anyway?" Defensive. Angry. Ashamed. He wants to refuse. He can't. True.
"You're hardly in a position to say no. And it's only a little thing, really."
"What - is?!"
"Becoming a double agent, of course." Goodness, he looks like a fish. "As I said, best keep it between us. Don't want the boys giving the game away, and they will if they know. Perhaps not ideal to tell the adults, either - they are somewhat prone to... interference, and they'll be more likely to help you if you seem to be innocent as a lamb to slaughter. There's a point - do you want to stay innocent? It's the difference between passing on information, knowing only that it's doing good, and passing on information knowing full well the consequences. Also some independent thinking and possibly a mission or two other than listening and blabbing." He was shaking now. It seemed like an eternity before he replied.
"Looks like I'll have to learn Occlumency." She rewarded him with a professional smile.
"Excellent. Meet me in the Room of Requirement after lights-out. I trust you can perform a Disillusionment Charm adequately?" He shook his head.
"Well, you've done alright sneaking about so far. I'm sure you'll be fine for tonight, but I'll give you a run through when you arrive." She made to leave. "Oh, and if the boys attack you later today, it's because you Obliviated me when I came to see if you were alright." With a whisk of her robes, she was gone.
Ugh, don't ask. I have no idea what I just did. Tell me if you want more.