I'm so bad at endings. I appreciate the reviews and favorites and follows so much, so thank you. Don't forget to review and Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!
They'd been there a handful of months and it seemed everyone had adjusted well and quick, everyone but him. It was as if the Safe Zone had made them forget what it's like out there, made them forget the people they'd lost and what they went through. They fell right into patterns of their old lives, but Daryl hadn't had a place to fall into. When it was announced that it was Christmas, his group didn't have trouble pretending Santa Claus was real all over again.
It was so loud, music blaring obnoxiously and so many people crammed into the house he shared with Rick and his kids. Rick wasn't even there, having guard duty, nor was Aaron who had left on a run while he was out hunting the day before. Either men might have made it more bearable. Everyone was dressed in green and red. Carol spent the afternoon baking and stringing lights up, and stockings and more figurines of a jolly fat man than he could count filled the place. It smelled of cinnamon and sugar and so many people kept wishing him a Merry Christmas and brushing against him as they passed with beaming faces.
He hated it.
Never got nothin' from Santa Claus. That was what he told her, had yelled at her so angry and she had yelled right back. It hurt so bad to think about her. He tried so hard not to and yet every day he brought himself to the same place filled with regret and anger and sadness for the girl he lost not once but twice. His fault. Maybe I could've done something. But he didn't. He didn't and she was gone.
Daryl hadn't ever truly understood the pain she felt when she tried to take her life until the day he stood in that hallway. He had tried before, tried so hard over those months he got to know her to understand what could take that girl's light and twist it up so bad and hide it away so she couldn't see it anymore, but he never could. He knew pain. He knew self hatred and had had more than enough hatred towards others and the world in general in his lifetime, but despair that deep? He hadn't understood it until he lost her. He didn't understand it until he saw her shot just feet in front if him. He didn't understand until he felt her blood on his face, tasted it on his lips. Then he fully got it. He understood what it was like to truly lose your light and not have a reason to push on. He wasn't there for himself anymore. He was there for his family.
A clash from the next room pulled him out of his head and he shoved himself off the wall he'd been leaning against, and made for the door. He couldn't stay there anymore with so many people laughing and smiling like everything was fun, like she wasn't missing. She is.
She was.
He stepped out into the cold, snowflakes drifting slowly to the ground adding to the rest of the snow that clung there by some miracle. A white Christmas like people used to sing about. His thoughts drifted back to her and he huffed angrily as he walked, willing them to change direction again.
He heard the clanging of the gate up ahead as it rolled open and shouts of the people on guard duty, Rick's voice in particular pulling him closer to the commotion until he was just a few feet away working to process the situation in front of him. It couldn't be real.
"Jesus Christ." Rick chuckled, disbelief evident in his voice as the gate was shut behind the small blond woman.
"Rick!" She said, her voice with nearly the same amount of surprise. God, her voice. He didn't think he'd ever hear it again, so soft and sweet.
"Beth." Her head snapped in his direction and he was already in front of her before he made the conscious choice to speak let alone move. Her eyes widened and she threw her arms around him with a whimper resembling something like his name and buried her face into his neck. He held her against him hard, the tears streaming down his cheeks were mirrored on hers.
He couldn't tell how much time had passed before they heard more voices off behind them, what seemed like hours was probably more like minutes and Daryl assumed Rick had gone to find the rest of their family. Beth pulled back with a sniffle, face red and eyes puffy from a mixture of crying and the cold, and she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
"Daryl." She smiled up at him and his chest ached all over again as she reached up and swiped at his cheeks.
"Missed you so bad, Greene." He responded leaning into her touch.
"Missed you too."
He guessed he couldn't say he never got nothin' from Santa Claus anymore 'cause there wasn't any way to describe her but a damn Christmas miracle.