House of Doom!
Chapter One: Interviews
Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or anything about Inuyasha, because Inuyasha belongs to Rumiko Takahashi, who's very cool, and I think you all agree.
Note: You do not have to read this if you don't want! Chapter two is where the fic really starts, these are just the interviews of all the characters!
Summary: On this 'show' we will be taking the Inuyasha gang, and some various characters from the manga/show and stick them all in a house together, 'till they go nuts! They can leave at any time, but once they leave, then can never come back! Never come back! Never come back… -ahem- So, basically, the show just keeps going till there is only one person in the house left! Little do they know, they kind of... don't win anything! Haha. Oh well! So, in this 'episode', we will be interviewing the people that will be staying in our 'mansion'!
(Crowd cheers enthusiastically.)
(Inside an office, on stage.)
Marisa ((our hostess!)): First on the list, we have the most beautiful hanyou in all the lands, please welcome to the stage, Inuyasha!
(Crowd cheers for my lovely Inuyasha)
Inuyasha: (Sits down and looks around, this TV setting new to him)
Marisa: Welcome to the show, Inuyasha! It's very exciting to have you and your gang here!
Inuyasha: Keh.
Marisa: So, we're just going to go through a list of things to ask you, to get our audience better acquainted with you.
Inuyasha: Keh.
Marisa: Alright, so, what is your full name?
Inuyasha: Inuyasha.
Marisa: But what's your full name? You know, like with your last name and stuff.
Inuyasha: (blink)
Marisa: Um, okay. Do you have an occupation?
Inuyasha: (blink)
Marisa: Inuyasha?
Inuyasha: Yeah?
Marisa: Do you have an occupation?
Inuyasha: (blink)
Marisa: Forget it. So, how old are you? We're dying to know!
Inuyasha: Uhh..
Marisa: What?
Inuyasha: I don't know. Everything's so confusing.
Marisa: …Okay! Well, uh, can you even name all your living relatives?
Inuyasha: That ass, Sesshoumaru. He isn't staying here is he?
Marisa: Yuppo.
Inuyasha: I'm going kick his ass! RAWR!!!1!1one
Marisa: O.o Er, yeah. So, who're your love interests?
Inuyasha: Er... Kikyou… I guess.
Marisa: That's it?
Inuyasha: Yes.
Marisa: Aren't you forgetting someone?
Inuyasha: If you're talking about Kagome-
Marisa: No you idiot! I was talking about me!! (cries)
Inuyasha: O.O
Marisa: (dries tears) Sniffle... Well, for the sake of this show/fic, I'll keep going. Isn't there something between you and Kagome?
Inuyasha: (blink)
Marisa: Dammit, Inuyasha! Just answer the questions and stop acting like an idiot!
Inuyasha: But...
Marisa: Well is there or isn't there?
Inuyasha: Well she may love me but that doesn't mean I love her. (crosses arms.)
Marisa: Oh c'mon, it's soooooo obvious.
Inuyasha: (blink) It is?
Marisa: …
Inuyasha: (blink)
Marisa: I can't believe you like Kagome! What about me! GET OUT!
(audience sits there and watches Inuyasha get pushed out for being such an idiot.)
Marisa: Next on our list is the loveable Kagome! Yaaay! Please welcome our modern-aged miko to the stage!
(Audience cheers)
Marisa: I hope to god you're more intelligent than Inuyasha.
Kagome: Of course I am! I am a grade nine student that has been educated at school… so I hope I am smarter than him!
Marisa: Me too. Otherwise it'd be totally pathetic and utterly humiliating…
Kagome: (cough)
Marisa: (cough)
Kagome: I was only coughing so you'd get on with the questions.
Marisa: Oh, right.
Kagome: (cough)
Marisa: So, what is your full name?
Kagome: Kagome Higurashi.
Marisa: Do you have an occupation?
Kagome: I am a grade nine student!
Marisa: Okay! So, how old are you?
Kagome: I'm obviously fifteen if I'm in grade nine.
Marisa: Uh… well… you could have been fourteen!
Kagome: Do I look fourteen?
Marisa: Yes, yes you do.
Kagome: (rolls eyes)
Marisa: Are you in love with Inuyasha?
Kagome: (blushes) That came out of no where.
Marisa: Well are you or aren't you!
Kagome: I wouldn't call it love… (whispering) or maybe I would.
Marisa: What- what did you say!!!
Kagome: (Backs away)
Marisa: That's right, you run away, you- you- Inuyasha stealer!
Kagome: (blink)
Marisa: (Turns into crazy youkai and eats some audience members)
Kagome: Can I get off this show?
Marisa: (Calms down) Well yeah but.. if you leave then Kikyou gets Inuyasha.
Kagome: Fine I'll stay.
Marisa: Can I have Buyo?
Kagome: Huh?
Marisa: He's just so cute! I wanna roll him off a roof!
Kagome: W-what!
Marisa: He's just so fat I wanna chuck him outta my arms and into the snow!
Kagome: No you can't have him!
Marisa: (Starts transforming back into youkai)
Kagome: You still can't have him! (Runs off stage)
Marisa: You're lucky you got away (Shakes fist) Next we're interviewing Kikyou.
(Audience Boos)
Marisa: Screw you guys, Kikyou is ma home girl. Seriously though, have you ever considered how it feels for her to be dead, then revived only to watch her one and only love fall in love with someone who IS her but she can't even feel it!?
Kikyou: O.o
Marisa: HEY KIKYOU!
Kikyou: O.o
Marisa: So what's your full name?
Kikyou: Kikyou.
Marisa: (Sigh) Full name.
Kikyou: Kikyou.
Marisa: You really don't have a last name?
Kikyou: Not that you're aware of, obviously.
Marisa: Good point. So! Do you have an occupation.
Kikyou:
Marisa:
Kikyou:
Marisa:
Kikyou:
Marisa: Well are you going to say something?
Kikyou:
Marisa: Dammit! You are all so stupid!
Kikyou:
Marisa: I'll just get to the interesting stuff. Are you in love with Inuyasha?
Kikyou:
Marisa:
Kikyou: Uh-huh.
Marisa:
Kikyou:
Marisa: RAAAAAAWR!!!!11 I'll kill you!
Kikyou:
Marisa: RAAAAAAWR!!!!11 Inuyasha is mine!!
Kikyou:
Marisa: Aren't you scared of me?
Kikyou: The hell?
Marisa: Huh?
Kikyou: Can I have your soul?
Marisa: What the hell!
Kikyou: Pretty please?
Marisa: No! You creepy bitch! Get off my stage!
Kikyou:
Marisa:
Kikyou:
Marisa: DAMMIT! GET OFF MY STAGE!
(Audience sits there, bored.)
Marisa: (Cough) Next person on the list is... Miroku!
(Audience claps, so women run before they are seen by Miroku)
Marisa: So! Welcome Miroku!
Miroku: Konnichiwa.
Marisa: Hehe.
Miroku: Hehehe.
Marisa: Hehehehe.
Miroku: (cough) Heh.
Marisa: Right! So, what is your... forget that. Do you love Sango?
Miroku: All ladies.
Marisa: But Sango in particular.
Miroku: Why do you ask?
Marisa: Because readers only care about couples and pairings.
Miroku: Oh I see… That's like how women only care about if you're ready to settle down and raise a family, and I'm all "raise a family? Are you crazy? I have millions of women to womanize-"
Marisa: …ANYWAY. So you and Sango! Love isn't it?
Miroku: Sure.
Marisa: OOOOOOO kawaii!
Audience: OOOOOOO kawaii!
Miroku: OOOOOOO kawaii!
Marisa: (smacks Miroku) You don't get to ooo.
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: Cause I said so.
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: Cause I said so.
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: Cause I said so!
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: Shut the hell up!
Miroku: Why?
Marisa:
Miroku: Why?
Marisa:
Miroku: Why?
Marisa:
Miroku: Why?
Marisa:
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: Do you love Hachi?
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: Cause I think you love him. If you say "why" then you love him.
Miroku: Why?
Marisa: You love Hachi!
Miroku: But..
Marisa: Hachi/Sango/millions of women lover!
Miroku: o.o!
Marisa: Hachi/Sango/millions of women lover!
Miroku: o.o!
Marisa: Hachi/Sango/millions of women lover!
Miroku: o.o!
Marisa: Hachi/Sango/millions of women lover!
Miroku: o.o!
Marisa: Hachi/Sango/millions of women lover!
Miroku: o.o!
Marisa: Now get out, I've had my fun with you.
Miroku: Pfft, n00b.
Marisa: (smacks) Get ouuuuut!
(Audience yawns)
Marisa: Next we have Sango. Whipee.
Sango: Hi!
Marisa: Hey.
Sango: How are you?
Marisa: Good, and yourself?
Sango: Good! What are you doing?
Marisa: Hosting a show! You?
Sango: Being interviewed on a show, isn't that weird, how we're both on a show?
Marisa: Yeah! Totally weird!
Sango: I know! So I was talking to Inuyasha and he was all like (blink blink) and it was so annoying!
Marisa: Oh my god, I know right?
Sango: Yeah!
Marisa: So I have to go interview someone, so I'll talk to you later.
Sango: Okay bye.
Marisa:
Sango:
Marisa:
Sango:
Marisa:
Sango:
Marisa: Hi welcome to the show!
Sango: Hiya!
Marisa: How do you feel about that lech, Miroku. Do you love him?
Sango: Pfft (blushes)
Marisa: Well?
Sango: nooo..
Marisa: Yes?
Sango: nooo!
Marisa: Yes?
Sango: NO!
Marisa: Oh.
Sango: Okay bye!
Marisa:
Sango: Okay bye!
Marisa: Good, get out.
Marisa: Next we have Shippou. Oh goody.
Shippou: (Squeak)
Marisa: Fox! (pulls tail)
Shippou: (Pulls hair)
Marisa: (Pulls eyes)
Shippou: Ow.
Marisa: Good. Do you love me?
Shippou: Yes.
Marisa: Then lets go get married.
Shippou: Okay.
Marisa: Meet me around the corner.
Shippou: Okay. (leaves)
Marisa: Now that that's over with... please welcome Kaede.
(Audience boos, I join in ((GOD I HATE HER ha-ha)))
Marisa: Yeah, you're pretty boring.
Kaede: Ye know ye should not ye say such yeness ye foul youkai ye are a ye disgrace ye ye okay ye?
Marisa: Out.
Kaede: (Stumbles out with her walking stick)
Marisa: Next we have.. Myouga. Oh whoopee.
(Audience sits there)
Myouga: Hello lord Marisa.
Marisa: I could get used to that!
Myouga: A hoi hoi!
Marisa:
Myouga: A hoi hoi!
Marisa: Exactly how does someone as unintelligent as you end up helping someone as great as Inuyasha, or even someone as great as his father?
Myouga: (blink)
Marisa: (twitch)
Myouga:
Marisa: Okay leave, I have nothing to ask you.
Myouga: A hoi hoi!
Marisa: (turns into youkai)
Myouga: (flees)
Marisa: (turns back) Okay, please welcome Kouga!
(Everyone in the audience has left by now)
Kouga: Where's Kagome?
Marisa: You're right, you and Kagome should be together.
Kouga: You're the first person who's ever told me that! Wowee!
Marisa: You know I am just saying that because I love Inuyasha.
Kouga: Ew.
Marisa: Ew yourself.
Kouga: Ew.
Marisa: Ew yourself.
Kouga: Ew.
Marisa: Ew yourself.
Kouga: Ew.
Marisa: Ew yourself.
Kouga: Ew.
Marisa: Ew yourself.
Kouga: Ew.
Marisa: Ew yourself.
Kouga: (Cough)
Marisa: Do you all have a disease or something! You wont stop coughing! It's making me crazy!
Kouga: You really don't get it?
Marisa: SHUT UPPPPPP!
Kouga: NOOOOOOOO!
Marisa: YEEEEEEES!
Kouga: NOOOOOOOO!
Marisa: (Pulls out hair)
Kouga: (Pulls out picture of Kagome)
Marisa: That's a nice picture.
Kouga: I know.
Marisa: (nods)
Kouga: (nods more)
Marisa: YEEEEEEES!
Kouga: NOOOOOOOO!
(hour later of saying yes and no)
Marisa: Please welcome Sesshoumaru, aka Fluffy!!
(Audience all sighs dreamily)
Marisa: Sesshy-moof! How ya doin'!
Sesshoumaru: Shut up, you weak human.
Marisa: You're gonna be OOC, I can feel it.
Sesshoumaru: Shut up, you, controlling my life.
Marisa: Oh that's right, Sesshoumaru, I can control you!
Sesshoumaru: I am a little pansy that loves to jump and dance, especially when it's raining men! Anyway, it's really exciting, but then my pants are all wet (you know, from the rain of course) so then I go inside and take them off, because they are all wet and I don't like it. I always make sure I take off my fluffy before I play in the rain though, I wouldn't want it to get damaged. Anyway, then I go into the bathroom and spend twenty million hours making my hair dry, and nice and so it doesn't ever get knotted, even when fighting my beautiful brother. Then I look at myself in the mirror and practice telling lame jokes to prepare for my comedy club, such as "Which days of the week are the weakest days?" "WEEKDAYS!" Ahahahhaha. (snort)
Marisa: (Smiles sweetly)
Sesshoumaru: You're a bitch.
Marisa: Am I? Am I reaaaally?
Sesshoumaru: Yes.
Marisa: Okay, so do you love Rin?
Sesshoumaru: Bitch.
Marisa: Do you!
Sesshoumaru: No.
Marisa: Oh.
Sesshoumaru: Hmph.
Marisa: Do you love Kagura?
Sesshoumaru: No.
Marisa: Yeah you dooooo! You're lucky I don't have her in this fic!
Sesshoumaru: Whatever. (sniff) (whispering) I miss her.
Marisa: Do you love Winterphox?
Sesshoumaru: Yes.
Marisa: n.n
Sesshoumaru: Stop making me say such idiotic things!
Marisa: C'mon Sesshy-moof, you said that of your own free will.
Sesshoumaru: No I didn't.
Marisa: Yes you did.
Sesshoumaru: No I didn't.
Marisa: Yes you did.
Sesshoumaru: No I didn't.
Marisa: Yes you did. Anyway, do you love Jaken?
Sesshoumaru: Yes.
Marisa: Oh maaaaah gawd!
Sesshoumaru: I'LL KILL YOU! KILL! GAAAAH!!!!11one
(Hours later, after Sesshoumaru chased me around the studio for idiotic reasons, it was Rin's time to be interviewed.)
Marisa: Hi.
Rin: Hi.
Marisa: You look like Kagome.
Rin: Arigato. Rin thinks Kagome is beautiful.
Marisa: Maybe if you like Inuyasha stealers.
Rin: Rin wouldn't steal.
Marisa: Yeah you would, don't lie.
Rin: (blink)
Marisa: (Eye twitches.)
Rin: Sesshoumaru-sama is cool.
Marisa: I am too.
Rin: Me three.
Marisa: Me four.
Rin: Me five.
(Hours later)
Marisa: Me 7,542,353,700,887
Rin: Me 7,542,353,700,888
(Hours later)
Marisa: So anyway, I won that counting thing, and there is nothing you can do about it.
Rin: Okay.
Marisa: So do you love Jaken?
Rin: Yes.
Marisa: Okay, she said that of her own free will.
Rin: As a friend. No, not as a friend. Yes as a friend. I love me. You love me. I love you & you love me, let's take turns hugging barney!
Marisa: Okay, no.
(Audience watches as Rin runs away. Actually, the audience isn't an audience, it's just one person. And the last person who happens to be Luigi!(Not mine.) haha, get it? It's like in Paper Mario when Luigi is in your audience.. Haha.. Oh god I'm a nerd)
Marisa: Last person to be interviewed! Wowsa, this took up 10 pages. I'll be surprised if anyone reads this. Not a loss though, cause no one likes you, Jaken.
Jaken: (sniffle)
Marisa: Yeah, too lazy to put Naraku, Kagura, Kohaku, people like that in.
Jaken: Why're you telling me this?
Marisa: Get out.
Jaken: k.
Marisa: k.
Jaken: So.
Marisa: I said out.
Jaken: k.
If anyone actually read all that, AND reviewed, I'll hug you to death! I was just bored and wrote all this up! Yeah me:D :D :D!
Review please!