Rokudaime

Chapter Eighteen

Pink Elephant

Sakura's anxious irises nervously stared at the door to her office. Any minute now, Squad 1 will arrive for their mission debriefing, and it was driving Sakura's nerves into a crazy frenzy. She hasn't felt this nervous in a very long time. The fact that she will be facing Neji soon and his hate was slightly unbearable. She will be facing her guilt, and most importantly her unresolved feelings for the Hyuuga Captain.

The Hokage assumed that by sending Neji away on a long term mission, would grant her the opportunity she needed to get over him, but it ended up doing the complete opposite. It had turned her into a coward, and that was one trait Sakura hated the most.

Sakura paused her hands from organizing her desk for the tenth time that hour, and rose her head up in the direction of their approaching chakra signatures. She swiftly picked up her pen and pretended to sign important documents to appear busy and not bothered by a certain someone's presence.

A busy Hokage, who was dutifully reviewing and signing off on documents, was what Squad 1 walked into after the given command of 'enter' by the Rokudaime.

Sakura's expression was neutral and relaxed, a far cry from the true emotions raging deep inside her, as she slowly placed her pen down and gave the team her undivided attention. She momentarily looked over the four shinobi who were at attention, and only spared their Captain a quick, subtle glance before greeting them with a small and guarded smile, "At ease, welcome back home Squad 1." Sakura greeted them all with a pleased nod and bright eyes.

"Hai, Hokage-sama!" Only three shinobi replied to her command, and relaxed their stance while taking off their masks, pushing it off to the side of their heads.

The only one who did not relax was the Captain, and the tension Sakura had wanted to avoid feeling began to quickly fill the office. The pink haired woman gripped her pants tightly with her unseen right hand underneath her desk in irritation. This was not going to go well, she thought inwardly.

Sakura furrowed her brows in momentary discomfort, and decided to get to the point of this briefing. The sooner they started the meeting, the sooner they would leave.

"We'll start with the oral debriefing. I want important details only, and the rest I will look through when you hand in your reports at the end of the week. I can imagine you want to go home to your families after such a long mission." Sakura told them, and the remorse she felt about that shown slightly in her eyes. It was never supposed to have been this long.

"You're right Hokage-sama, it was a very long mission, and as I recalled it was for the good and benefit of Konoha. Five years is nothing to us if it meant that we kept Konoha safe from any and all dangers. I rather enjoyed the mission, it was like an extended vacation."

Well, Sakura expected some sarcasm from Neji, maybe even his infamous bad attitude, but she did not expect him to downplay the mission like he just did.

Sakura clenched her jaw at Neji's nonchalant attitude with her. She could definitely feel his icy cold anger towards her at the moment, or maybe that was just a figment of her imagination due to her guilt. She didn't want to deal with these array emotions right now. She didn't have the patience to keep quiet or bite her tongue, and allow Neji to further disrespect her authority and condescend her in front of his team.

"On second thought, the three of you are dismissed. I'll speak with your Captain, alone." Sakura informed them with an irritated scowl, and the emphasis of her tone left no room for any disagreements. The three shinobi didn't hesitate to quickly bow out of respect before leaving quickly. They didn't want to be an audience to their Hokage's wrath or the drama that was about to unfold. They weren't naive to the estranged relationship between the Hokage and the Captain five years ago, or to the developments that occurred with their Captain back in Cloud.

Sakura didn't hesitate to go into the offensive. "A vacation? Seriously." Sakura gritted out, clearly irritated and without restraint now that his team was gone.

"You thought this mission was some sort of a joke?" She questioned with growing anger, and she had half a mind to jump from her seat and slam her hands on top of her desk, but she didn't want to break the desk her Shishou had worked in during her term as Kage. She was working really hard in reeling in her temper.

Granted, Sakura had purposely chosen Neji's team for this mission to get him out the village so she can get over him, but she didn't only choose his team for that sole reason alone. Squad 1 was the best fit team capable of completing this mission. and coming back home alive.

At first, the mission was only meant to be an estimate of two years, but then there had been new developments that required the team to stay longer. Of course, the Squad was offered a leave from duty to return to Konoha to see their families for a week every six months, and all of them had taken it except for Neji. Neji never came home until today.

During the beginning of her term, she spoke with Kakashi-sensei and her advisers, Shikamaru and Shizune, about his mission regarding the tailed beasts and the possibility of there being more than the original nine. It was after that meeting and much deliberation that she brought in Neji and his team with the mission details two weeks later. They had all accepted, knowing full well the length and danger.

Neji remained silent, and it secretly unnerved Sakura.

She didn't recognize this Neji at all.

Neji visibly sighed, as if he were tired and annoyed at her accusations and assumptions.

"Does this look as if I took it as a joke, Hokage-sama?" Neji evenly stated as he calmly pulled off his ANBU mask to reveal three jagged scars marring the right side of his face.

Sakura gasped in horror at the scars that covered the majority of his right cheek and curved around to the end of his jaw, and her eyes were wide in surprise.

From her position, and critical eyes as a medic, she could tell the wound had been caused by intense demonic chakra, and it had to be at least a year or two old. This wasn't a recent injury, and the fact infuriated her, mostly because she hadn't been informed at all.

It was reminiscent of the time Naruto had lost control of his tailed beast, and accidentally injured her. If Neji's wound had been any higher he would have lost his right eye. She recalled Neji's multiple encounters with tailed beasts, but never had he informed her despite how curt his letters were, about any serious injuries he had sustained. Sakura felt like she had just been slapped across the face at the revelation.

Sakura was left speechless, and soon her anger took over her and led her faithfully. "When did you get that wound and why didn't you tell me about it during your updates!?" She nearly shouted in upset.

There was concern in her tone mixed in with that anger that boiled her blood. Anger at him, and at herself for putting him in that dangerous situation in the first place. That incident was never mentioned in any of his reports or the others, and it bothered her greatly. No doubt Neji told them to exclude that bit of information.

Neji smoothly placed his mask back on, but he only covered the right side of his face to hide the constant reminder of his greatest failure thus far in his life. He remained calm and collective, and brought his pearly irises to the woman he once loved and hated at the same time.

It was almost surreal looking at her now, even in her upset state. She was both familiar and unfamiliar to him. As she was right now, in his eyes, she was even more beautiful than he had remembered. The years that they spent apart have done her well in terms of physical growth.

The woman shouting at him was not the same person from five years ago, not that he had expected for her to remain the same. This Sakura, the Rokudaime Hokage, was an imposing and powerful figure in the Shinobi World.

This Sakura, who was glaring at him with those peppermint green irises filled with contempt and anger, had not come to terms with her feelings about him. He could see it clearly in her eyes that she was still fighting that conflict deep inside her heart. It almost made him feel sorry for her.

Sakura wasn't the only one whose changed, both physically and mentally, but he was proud to know that he has also changed emotionally. It was something Sakura has yet to accomplish despite their five year separation. It was somewhat of a pity, because he had come to terms with his feelings towards her years ago.

There were others who occupied his heart now, and that was never going to change.

"As I recalled, you had sent a message stating that our mission was to be extended, because we were needed. You wanted us to find out about the other tailed beasts and to capture them, and we did just that. I was caught off guard over a year ago. I just didn't mention the part of me getting injured during one of those fights. The only important thing was that we managed to seal the beast in the scroll and had it sent directly to Konoha."

Sakura exhaled heavily, desperately trying to control her anger through control breathing. She wanted to hit him, but she knew that wasn't the answer and would be completely unprofessional as Hokage.

It would only make her feel that much worst. She glared at him, trying to understand why she was so angry. Yes, his attitude towards her pissed her off, but that wouldn't be enough to stir her wrath this much. Maybe it was the fact that his eyes didn't contain that certain softness towards her anymore.

Or maybe it was the way he spoke to her as if she was nothing more than his superior. He was disregarding what they had together, and it bothered her greatly. Had he really gotten over her during his time away? That plan was supposed to help her get over him, not the other way around. She still felt his affect on her, and she hated it.

Sakura sighed before throwing her backside into her chair almost carelessly. She closed her eyes, and quietly rubbed at her aching temples. There was an oncoming headache heading her way. She was done, at least for now. There was no point in torturing herself any longer. She deserved this, after all, for her selfishness in sending him away in the first place.

Perhaps, having Neji around again will force her to move on completely. If that didn't work, then she didn't know what will. Neji took that moment as a signal to finally relay the mission briefing, so he told her only the important things. Sakura listened to his words, to his voice that she hasn't heard in years.

"The Akatsuki have not been lax in the past five years either. They have done their own hunting, too. I'm not sure why we are capturing these tailed beasts. I can only assume we are doing so to prevent whatever they are trying to do." Neji guessed with some curiosity.

Sakura opened her eyes halfway to look at him before leaning over to her desk, and propping her chin onto her clasped hands. "You're right, it was the reason why I had your squad traveling around the world. Whatever they are planning isn't anything good. I want to hinder their plans in anyway I can until we find out their true mission." Sakura told him openly.

"We've collected only eight tailed beasts. There could be more out there, not including the ones that the Akatsuki might have in custody." Neji said begrudgingly. The frustration was clear in his otherwise even tone.

"That just means they're eight short, and when they realize that they will surely come here." Sakura replied in an effort to highlight the situation as a victory.

"I think we're done here, you are free to go." Sakura told him soon after. The Rokudaime really wanted to drink her pain away, but she could feel a part of her was glad to know that Neji was back home and most importantly safe. She could live with that, and she just needed to convince herself of that.

She stood up to leave when she noticed Neji had not made a move to leave yet. She raised a curious brow, and stared at him blankly in wonder, "Was there something else to disclose?" She pondered to him.

Neji reached inside his vest, and pulled out a small packet of papers. He approached the desk and laid them gently onto it.

"Yes, I wanted to address the pink elephant in the room, I hope we can do that in a civil matter." Neji questioned with hope in his voice. Sakura swallowed lightly, disregarding the packet for now to settle things with Neji, properly this time. It was the least she could do for him, and maybe having this talk will help her out, too.

"Of course," She told him, and nodded for him to start as she took her seat once more.

"The first year that I was out on the mission I was delusional about the state of our relationship. I knew things had ended between us that day we last spoke in the Tower, but I didn't want to believe it, because it was never spoken out loud between the two of us. It took me awhile to come to terms with it. I accepted the fact and slowly got over you. I thought it was something that you were going to do as well. I don't want to lose the friendship we had, and I hope we can get that back over time." Neji explained to her slowly, and Sakura found herself envious at how easily he could talk about it. It was something she still struggled with daily.

"Everything happened so fast, and with the miscarriage and Shishou being sick at the time, I couldn't deal with anything else. My life completely changed when I became Hokage. I didn't know how to deal with it or with us, and for that I am sorry. I hope that we can be friends again, too, Neji." Sakura stated almost brokenly, but she kept her voice composed as best she could, and there was that voice in the back of her mind that told her she was a liar. The woman hushed that voice quickly.

Neji finally smiled at her, and it stunned Sakura slightly. It was one of his old, rare smiles from the past. It almost made her heart skip a beat.

"I'm glad that we are on the same page. I also don't blame you for sending me away, because that was your plan to get over me." Sakura stiffen at the statement, her eyes widening in surprise at his admittance of her deed.

"Neji, I-" Neji raised his hand to stop her from apologizing or justifying herself, and the smile died on his lips then. "It's okay. Regardless, you are my Hokage and I will follow your every order. I realized it after awhile, because it made sense. You're an overly emotional creature, and I had put you through a lot with my drama. So for that, I do not hold any open hate towards you. I only had anger towards myself for not doing things differently, but I have come to terms with that self-anger as well." Neji told her with calming acceptance and finality.

Sakura was left speechless, and she could only stare openly at the man she possibly still loved. There was a sinking feeling of crashing into reality settling inside her chest. She was feeling many things right now and they weren't all good.

"I hope you can take my petition into strong consideration, Hokage-sama." Neji murmured before bowing to his Lady, and departing to the door.

"Of course," She whispered softly, as she watched him leave without another word or backward glance. Sakura sighed in dismay at her encounter.

It went better than she had expected it to, and where she stood with Neji now that he was back. They would work on being just friends, and she tried to convince herself that it was a good idea. That it was better than what she had hoped for or deserved, but for some reason it didn't sit well with her.

"Am I really overly emotional?" Sakura questioned herself, as she brought her attention to the packet Neji left her with to review. She was curious as to who Neji wanted to bring into the village. Usually, when someone fills out a petition form it was to bring a relative to live in the village and become a citizen. She found it strange that Neji would do this considering that his entire clan resided in Konoha.

With curious peppermint colored irises, Sakura scanned for a name and their relation to the Hyuuga.

The Rokudaime instantly regretted it, because she felt as if a punch just landed a powerful hit to her gut. It literally left her breathless, and her eyes burned with unwanted tears.

Sakura had rather Neji petitioned for another woman to come into the village, and save her from this impending torture that stared at her in black ink.

The pink haired woman didn't think a simple name would cause her this much distress or anxiety. It brought her mind back to five years ago, to when she first found out she was pregnant, to only lose those two precious souls the very next moment. She knew back then that it didn't affect Neji as much as it did to her, but she didn't think about the possibility of Neji being a father to children that didn't come from her.

It left an emptiness inside Sakura and a deep set anger, and she soon recalled his words of friendship and moving forward in their life. Of course he would tell her that, because he had moved on in more ways than one. She couldn't harbor these negative feelings, especially when an innocent life was thrown into the equation.

She had many questions running through her mind that desperately wanted answers, and so she read through each and every page about Neji's private life and how his child came to be. She wanted to know who the woman was that bore his child to full term, and most importantly how she managed to capture his heart away from her forever.

After reading the entire form and with very mixed feelings, Sakura grabbed her pen and flipped to the page where two lines awaited her signature of approval or decline. Neji's signature was already written in its designated place. She had the power to prevent this child from ever stepping foot into Konoha, the birthplace of his father and home to his entire clan. Sakura hovered the pen over the lines in heavy contemplation.

She wasn't sure how Neji was going to work this out with his clan, especially with his Uncle. The child was clearly half Hyuuga.

With resolve, she signed one of the lines with a deep set frown on her lips. Her face was one of displeasure, and it reflected her feelings about her choice.

She slammed her pen down with unnecessary force that shook the entire desk, and dropped the packet into the bin to be processed later on today by her secretary.

The Rokudaime grabbed her jacket from its hook, and left the office through the open window. She needed to get some air and a heavy drink to settle her nerves and numb her aching heart. She wanted to forget everything, and she wanted to stop this feeling of regret from hitting her heart over and over again.

Disappearing from the window, Sakura left behind her responsibilities for the day and the packet she just signed.

A/N: Hey everyone! I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas and New Year's. To start off the New Year, I've decided to finally update this story. I've made it my New Year's resolution to update this story regularly. I'm thinking about updating once a week, so if that pleases you let me know in the reviews lol!

I know some of you might want to kill me for the way things happened in this chapter, but bear with me, you won't be disappointed in the next chapter when you meet this mysterious child of Neji's.

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Lady Manami