... OKAY, OKAY. IF YOU'RE REALLY DESPERATE, YOU MAY CONSIDER THIS PRESLASH. BUT PLEASE PUT ON GOGGLES. FOR EVERYONE ELSE, NO SLASH

Disclaimer : Yeah. I think you guys know by now.
Warning : Set after season four, Reveal fic
May Contain : A band of Floofs, UNICORNS, Terribly written spells, Cliffhangers to annoy the heck out of you, Aithusaaaaa (and Kilgharrah), Catboy!Merlin, King Arthur Pratdragon, the Knights of Camelot, GWAINE, EEEEVIL, Morgana, and a whole lot of MAGIC~
I'm really sorry if it's out of character!
Thank you xXMistressMadHatterXx for letting me steal so many ideas from your reviews. Give me whatever rainbow pills the plotbunnies gave you.

I am SOOOOO SORRY I TOOK SO LONG! And I'm so sorry this chapter is so short... the plotbunnies! They've DIED! I'm sooooo sorry... this chapter is sort of pointless.

Morgana cackled with glee as Deathbringer-her beast, her protector-smashed the mind of the lost hunter with a single sneer.

Deathbringer had gotten to the level of larger prey, the larger prey being humans.

Morgana had found an innocent hunter gathering food for his village, a little too close to her home. She'd called the dragon-her dragon-and the white beast had destroyed the small man effortlessly.

Things were going well indeed.

She wouldn't even need to contact Mordred.

A few days later, Merlin was scouring Gaius' books, ignoring his mentor's protests. He needed to find out what had enough healing power to save Morgana.

There were a lot of things that came to mind, but he'd either destroyed or made peace with all of them throughout his years in Camelot.

"Merlin," Gaius was saying exasperatedly, "You're not going to find anything in those books!"

Merlin didn't even look up; only a minutely twitching ear showed he heard him. "That's not very nice, Gaius," he muttered, "You're being a little too pessimistic for my liking..."

"Merlin, you're not-"

"Pass me the next book," the warlock interrupted simply, holding out the one he already had. Gaius sighed dramatically, but handed him the old green tome anyway.

"Merlin, honestly," the old man tried again.

"Ha!" Merlin exclaimed suddenly, stabbing a finger to the middle of the page, showing it to Gaius. "There!"

Gaius frowned at the page. "Merlin... this is the recipe for a vision-enhancing potion."

The warlock gaped at him, before scowling and staring at the page. He gawked at it. "I could have sworn it said..."

"Merlin, I think you're tired."

Merlin stood up indignantly, heading for the bookshelves. "I am not!"

"Oh, really," Gaius said skeptically, watching as his ward stumbled past piles of books and chairs, eventually tripping over thin air and planting his face into the floor.

Merlin got up with a groan, unaffected by his fall. He shuffled back to the bookshelf, reading each title carefully before pulling out a particularly old-looking heavy book.

All of a sudden, there was the sound of boots started clambering down the hall, only to burst through the door in the shape of Elyan, dressed in his full knight attire, looking around agitatedly. His gaze finally fixed on the tired-yes, tired-warlock.

"Merlin, Gwaine's looking for you."

Merlin frowned. "What?"

"You heard him," Leon said, appearing next to the other knight, curly hair dishevelled. "I'd hide if I were you."

Merlin gawked at them, looking more worried by the second. "No... please tell me he's given up trying to 'take me in'!"

Quick, deliberate footsteps could be heard down the hall. Leon looked back. "Merlin, run."

"I can't go! I have to find out what saved Morgana so I can know what to expect! I have to figure this out!"

"Merlin. This is Gwaine."

Something seemed to click in the cat's brain and his eyes went wide. He dropped the book on a table, ignoring the cloud of dust that puffed out from under it. "Bye, Gaius!" he said, trotting to the door. He almost made it, when Gwaine burst in from between the two knights, making Merlin jump and trip over in surprise.

Gwaine looked worried. "Has Gwen come and claimed him yet?"

Merlin let out an indignant squawk from the ground. "No one's going to 'claim me'!"

"No," Elyan said to Gwaine, ignoring Merlin.

Gwaine grinned mischievously, rubbing his palms together in satisfaction. "Well then, Merlin, come see your new home!"

Merlin squeaked, trying to get to his feet, but failed miserable when he tripped over again in his haste. "But I want to stay here!"

"Come on now, up you get," the knight said, wrapping his arms around Merlin's knees and hoisting him onto his shoulder.

Merlin squirmed harder. "What are you doing? Gwaine, let me go!"

Gwaine turned around, turning a deaf ear to his friend's complaints. "Off we go." He set off towards the door, and only then did Merlin realize how serious this was.

"Gwaine? No, no, no! Let me go! I have to... but... Gaius! Gaius please! Gaiuuuuuuuuuus!" the warlock moaned as he was carried away. Gaius snickered. Merlin started to panic when no one would help him. "What? Gaius! Gaius, don't you love me? Do you want to never see me again? Nothing good can come from this! Gaius! Please! Wait, nooooooo Gwaine, stop, stop! No!" he yelped, gripping the edge of the door with his fingers, trying to halt his friend's march. "Gaius! Please! Elyan, Leon! Come on! Please?" His grip started to slip as his torso was elongated unnaturally by Gwaine's strong arms. "Ah, no no no... please! Come on! Guys!" The three men only smiled apologetically and waved as he was wrenched from the door. "Nooo!" his moans came from down the hall, "Gaius! This is your last chance! You won't ever see me again!" There was no reply. His voice only got fainter. He managed to shriek out a final message before Gwaine turned a corner and they were out of earshot. "I'll miss you Gaius! TELL MY MOTHER!"

Gaius chuckled and turned to the two knights still in the room. "Can I help you?"

Elyan smiled. "No, thank you Gaius," he said, scurrying off. Leon quickly followed when he noticed his friend was gone.

Merlin had given up fighting when it was clear he wouldn't best Gwaine. He could always use his magic, but people were staring. He glared at every single person that they passed, but they only smiled bemusedly, ignoring his discomfort.

"Gwaine," he moaned, "Where are we going?"

"To your new home."

Merlin paused. He hadn't been expecting an answer. "Are you drunk?"

"I am," the knight said confidently, "But I'm also not."

Merlin rolled his eyes and hung limply for the ride.

They turned a corridor, and Gwaine stopped. Merlin tried to see what was in front of them, but he was forced to stare at Gwaine's lower back.

"Gwaine," Arthur's voice said cautiously, "Why am I being greeted by my manservant's behind?"

Merlin squeaked at the compromising position he realized he was in. He tried to wriggle off of Gwaine's shoulder, but only succeeded in pitching forward. He slid further towards the ground, until he was only hanging by his feet on Gwaine's shoulder. Gwaine had been trying to grab him all the while, but eventually gave up to see what his friend was doing. Arthur was shaking his head disapprovingly.

Merlin finally unhooked his feet, and landed flat on his stomach with an "oof." He slowly rolled onto his back to see the two men above him.

"Oh, hello, Arthur," he declared stupidly.

Arthur was not amused. "What were you doing, Gwaine?"

Gwaine shrugged. "Taking my cat to its new home."

Arthur stared at him incredulously. "My manservant is your pet? When did that happen?"

"Well, you know, the Lady Gwen and I-"

"She doesn't know you took him, does she?"

"Erm, guys," Merlin mumbled from the floor, "I'm still here..."

"And you!" Arthur announced, spinning on his heel to point at the cat. "Why did you go along with this?"

"I really didn't, Arthur."

Arthur groaned loudly. "Well, I need you. Come with me."

Merlin bounced to his feet, making a disapproving clucking noise. "You know, Sire, people say they like being needed, but when you say that..." He waved his arms around for emphasis, as is that would make the right words magically come to him. "I don't want to feel needed."

Arthur rolled his eyes, walking away. "Merlin," he called, when his manservant didn't immediately follow.

"Coming!" Arthur heard the stumbling footsteps of his manservant, followed by a loud thump of something falling to the floor.

Arthur sighed. Only Merlin.

Only Merlin could be the same when the enemy was nigh.

Yet the enemy was still nigh, and there was work to be done. No more joking around.

That... wasn't so bad... was it...?
AAAAAGH WHY WAS THAT SO SHORT? Not even two thousand words! I am ashamed... and pretty sad right now...

... *eyes pop out of sockets* oh look my eyes.

Yes, Gwaine still wants Merlin.
I swear I am not suggesting anything.
Unless you want me to.

I'M SO SORRY FOR TAKING LONG... I WENT BRAIN-DEAD. THE PLOTBUNNIES DID TOO. ACTUALLY, ONLY THE PLOTBUNNIES...

I STILL LOVE YOU ALL! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME...

Please review!