Dripping – Blonde Redhead
"rosalie!" esme and carlisle exclaim together, rounding on their eldest child. the clatter of a large metal utensil can be heard against the countertop. esme looks around nervously, obviously wondering if i was within earshot. i'm not given a chance to retreat up the stairs before her eyes land on mine. edward spots me and pinches the bridge of his nose, exasperated.
"of course this jackass says something like that right when you're coming down the stairs." he closes his eyes and shakes his head, grimacing. rosalie flips him the bird and then throws me a glance over her shoulder. her gaze, although brief and fleeting, scalds me like salt and ice. boils my blood. it is within that moment that i decide to rise to meet the challenge that is rosalie. if i can listen to the jagged insults of my mother and father on a regular basis, surely this impossibly beautiful girl can't pierce my calloused skin.
"may i help you set the table mrs. cullen?" i chirp politely. edward opens one eye and looks at me, like a child peeking through his fingers. even esme is shocked.
"yes, bella, thank you. and please, call me esme." she flashes me an award winning smile before handing me some plates and utensils to place on the table. edward practically sprints to the kitchen countertop and grabs a few utensils of his own before falling in line beside me.
"i don't need an escort," i whisper.
"sure. assuming you know where our dining room is. care to give me a tour of the house after you're no longer occupied?" i purse my lips and slow my pace to match his. "you're not upset? ready to storm out of the house? sleep in the woods?"
"edward, please. so much about me has changed in the past two minutes. let's not dwell on the past."
"indeed," he says as we walk through the archway to the dining room. "the past is the past. life is short and time is swift. i mean, who cares how many girlfriends i've had? what matters is the here and now."
"our here and now is setting the table, cullen." but i'm laughing, because he's funny and because everything is back under my control. a sharp squeal echoes from the top of the stairs behind us, followed by alice running down the stairs and straight into rosalie's arms. the sight would be heartwarming if i didn't think rosalie was a poison dipped porcupine. i look to edward who also watches their embrace, his expression acerbic but pleased. i follow him to the dining room and begin setting the table, intentionally silent.
"so beyond setting this table, we've nothing else to discuss? i beg to differ." i knew the silence wouldn't last for long.
"what would you like to discuss?"
"what has changed for you in the past two minutes?" his tone is sincerely interested though, from a quick glance, his eyes are fixated on the arrangement of his forks and spoons.
"well someone once told me that i needed to stop throwing myself pity parties and though he could really use a reality check in front of the nearest mirror, i'd say i agree." we laugh at the same time, our light voices mixing in with the tinkling of metal utensils.
"whoever that magnificent young guru is, i'm certain he deserves a bouquet of flowers… or better yet! a kiss."
"i hope he'll settle for a thank you." i place the last knife on the table and pause beside edward on my way out of the dining room. "thank you." i leave the dining room and join the rest of the cullens in the living room. rosalie and alice are sitting on the couch together, whispering excitedly to one another like sisters lost in their own world. the television is on but they're barely paying attention. alice's face is flushed from giggling so much. esme and carlisle are doling out large portions of food onto giants plates; glazed ham, baked chicken, a medley of vegetables and mashed potatoes. it's as if thanksgiving has come early. "i can help." i say, taking the large plate of ham before esme can protest. she and carlisle smile gratefully while i walk carefully back into the dining room. i walk past edward on my way there.
"keep behaving like that and they'll want me to marry you," he murmurs, smirking. my blush betrays my cool expression.
once all the food in placed at the center of the large dining table, everyone comes together and sits down in manner that seems almost assigned. carlisle sits at the narrow end of the table, his aged face serene and kind, his wife beside him at the nearest corner. rosalie sits next to alice and, of course, edward sits next to me on the opposite side. i wait, watching to see who will be the first to grab the ham i've been eyeing and it's alice, who stabs it with her fork like it owes her money. esme and rosalie laugh underneath their breaths before passing around the mashed potatoes and vegetables. carlisle is watching me.
"how long have you and alice been friends?" esme asks, "she hasn't brought you over here before." i thought we'd be past the pretenses, considering the candid conversation i heard.
"we've just started getting to know each other, we're both on the swim team." rosalie glances at alice who ignores her, stuffing her face with glazed ham.
"yeah mom," alice says with her mouth full, "bella's a fantastic swimmer." edward stands up to lean over the table and bring the plate of ham closer to him.
"you should take her to your pool after dinner, alice." carlisle says. "i'm sure you'd both enjoy it." he smiles in my direction but i just chew my turkey breast, nervous.
"you're here early this year," edward says to rosalie, one of his cheeks bulging. "decided to actually spend some time with your parents?"
"oh and i'm sure you've been giving them all your free time." she replies sarcastically. rosalie is barely nibbling at her food, her eyes flitting back and forth between edward and i, as though she's trying to decipher a code. "i ate inside the airport mom, i don't have much of an appetite."
"really, why are you here?" edward implores.
"enough." carlisle says, his voice firm. "what does it matter? she is your sister and she has come home."
"i'm thrilled!" alice chimes in. "it'll be great with us three girls, having fun together." i don't need to look at rosalie's face to know no such thing will be happening. edward laughs around a mouthful of chicken, earning a frown from his stepmother.
"you sure know how to gauge the atmosphere alice." edward says after swallowing.
"regardless," esme says, returning her attention to me, "it's great to see alice bringing more friends over."
"i'm glad you think so mom, because bella will be staying with us indefinitely." what. carlisle's eating utensils slip from his hands but he catches them quickly before they clammer against his plate. esme's polite smile becomes tainted with confusion. edward is chewing furiously, glaring at alice. if my stomach wasn't threatening to exit from my rectum perhaps i'd be laughing. i don't even have the courage to look at rosalie.
"what do you mean?" asks carlisle.
"we were going to ask permission," edward explains, "bella needs a place to stay and alice thought it'd be a good idea –"
"no." spits rosalie.
"you're more of a visitor here than bella," edward retorts.
"edward." carlisle says while pinching the bridge of his nose. "i'd like to know why bella is to stay with us indefinitely."
"after dinner." esme adds, her voice firm. she rests her hand on carlisle's before continuing to eat. she doesn't look my way, however, sparing a sobering look for alice. "i'm disappointed with your lack of tact. this topic is not dinner appropriate."
"yeah but i was sure i'd lose the nerve if i waited any longer!" i keep my eyes on my plate but i've lost my appetite. my heart is beating in my throat. the rest of dinner is civil enough but every so often esme and carlisle exchange meaningful glances i can't decipher. i feel like a charity case. what if they say no? what would be an incentive for them to house and provide for me? me, who's lived on the periphery of their lives since i was born. edward nudges me with his elbow. inside his eyes there is a reassuring smile, but my stomach is in knots. it's difficult to enjoy the delicious food when i know the conversation that will follow it. what do i want? part of me wants them to say no, so i can go back to the life i'm used to and stop entertaining these delusions. everything has been the same for as long as i could remember, why should i start to expect change? but as unassuming as i keep trying to feel, edward and alice have managed to install hope in me. after the dinner is over and the dishes are washed everyone files into the living room like soldiers. rosalie is the first to plop herself down on the couch, her arms folded across her chest. carlisle and esme sit down beside her, the both of their expressions intrigued. edward, alice and i remain standing like plaintiffs pleading their case.
"well your honors," alice says, echoing my sentiments, "bella's parents are having a rough time and tensions in her house are very high. it kind of makes me uncomfortable to think of her being there."
"so it was your suggestion for her to move in here temporarily?" rosalie asks, "your suggestion and not edward's?" edward glares at her but remains silent. i could actually respect rosalie asking that question. she must be aware of her brother's history with women. "yes it was my idea. you didn't hear what we heard we pulled into her driveway."
"what did you hear?" esme asks fearfully. "and what kind of rough time are they having? maybe there's some way we could help…"
"no esme." edward drags his hand through his hair. "this is not the kind of situation that can be remedied by offering our help."
"well that hardly makes any sense edward. what kind of situation can't be improved with the help of others?" edward opens his mouth to reply but alice cuts him off.
"right now mom, it'd just be best if bella stayed with us for a while. you know, to give her parents time to sort things out."
"no," carlisle says, his thick eyebrows furrowed. "she does not know. and i do not know. this is not so much a conversation as it is a vague declaration."
"agreed." rosalie shifts her caustic gaze from me to edward, even though it was alice who had spoken. perhaps she still doesn't believe that it was alice's idea? "if she needs a place to stay, where are her clothes? her shoes? alice isn't organized enough to have already put them away. and you didn't say that she'd be staying with us for 'a while' at the dinner table. you specifically said she'd be staying here indefinitely." she looks to her parents. "how can we be sure these two aren't attempting to house a runaway? they're not giving you any details and bella appears to have become mute." the collective cullen gaze falls on me, the elephant in the living room. edward and alice look very apologetic and i'm not angry with them. they tried their best to tend to their parents' curiosities while maintaining my desire for privacy. but that was part of why i didn't want any part in this. no parents are going to take care of a minor with no proper explanation. i knew from the beginning they'd want to know, to understand.
"it's not that we would have any problem with you staying here," esme says earnestly.
"i know. and it wouldn't be fair of me to euphemistic about everything that's happened. alice and edward were just trying to spare me but this isn't the worst thing i've had to endure. it's just embarrassing."
"would you prefer to speak with us privately?" carlisle asks. "my office is just upstairs."
"no, thank you mr. cullen. let me just jump right to into it.
my parents fight each other. a lot. for as long as i can remember they've had a hard time getting along and agreeing about anything. early on i learned to recognize that it all came in waves. they would start with petty jabs at one another over meaningless things until it boiled over into a big fight. edward and alice just happened to hear one of their big fights. i tried to tell them that it was okay, that i'm used to it, but – "
"but it isn't okay." carlisle interjects. "and we didn't raise them to believe that it is."
"we heard plates breaking and screaming dad." alice says. "i told her to come with us, i wasn't really thinking, i just knew she shouldn't go into the house."
"screaming?" esme repeats, her voice shaking. "did you see anyone? charlie? renee? what if something happened to one of them?"
"they've never hit each other." i say but carlisle raises an eyebrow and gives me a look reminiscent of his son. "at least, not that i've seen or heard." the situation sounds increasingly abhorrent as we sit here discussing the details. there is a bitter taste in my mouth not left by the hearty dinner. metallic and corrosive.
"has this really been going on for you your whole life? i can't believe we had no idea…"
"they manage to remain civil in public esme, please don't take on any blame. it helps that charlie spends most of his free time at the station or the lake by the rez."
"haven't you ever told anyone?" rosalie asks. she'd been quiet for a while but now her voice is smooth and her tone inquisitive. "your whole life, you must have let someone know."
"no." i reply. "no one. not ever." esme looks as though she's ready to leap off the couch and wrap her arms around me. through the corner of my eye i'm sure i see her hand twitch.
"why not?" carlisle asks, leaning forward and placing his elbows on his knees.
"i don't know." i answer truthfully. "it didn't seem like anyone else's problem. or maybe somehow i thought that everyone knew. my mother doesn't go out often but i'm sure you've run into my father. what impression has he left on you?"
"he was never pleasant but that didn't mean we assumed he was abusing you." his tone is… apologetic? esme's eyes are laced with tears.
"he's never laid a hand on me," i counter while hating to have to defend my father.
"but there are other ways to hurt people," esme says softly. "injuries that leave no scars." what is this? what is any of this? i don't know how to handle these soft words and meaningful gestures. it's all making me squirm in my skin. esme swipes at her eyes before speaking again. rosalie is looking at her nails, her once icy eyes melted into glacial pools. her mother takes a deep breath. "i'll put fresh sheets on the bed in the guest room, along with some toiletries. alice will give you a set of pajamas."
"tomorrow," carlisle says to edward, "you and i will escort bella to her house so she can pick up some of her things." edward nods and lets out a relieved sigh. alice sits down next to rosalie and rests her head on her arm.
"that's it?" i blurt accidentally. "i can stay?"
"as long as you need to." carlisle replies. he takes in my confused expression. "is something wrong?"
"but why? i mean, i'm definitely grateful but i can't understand."
it's rosalie who startles me with her reply after rolling her eyes.
"what's there to understand? as long as you're not causing trouble, what other reason do we need to help you?"