Holding Onto Hope

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

Beta: Cookies and Cream1234567

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"Benjy! Caradoc!" Lily shouted to the two young men surrounded by well-wishers. Benjy poked his head through the crowd and his face lit up when he saw her. He pushed his way past the few people, Caradoc on his heels muttering apologies.

"McKinnon, look at you! Lovely as ever, of course. And Evans! Practically glowing," Benjy exclaimed.

"It's Potter now, Fenwick, has been for a while actually," she said chuckling and opening her arms to hug him. He wrapped his arms around her rather awkwardly.

"How much longer?" he asked her.

"Three months."

"Perhaps I'll be able to hug you normally then," she smiled at the comment.

Lily had always had a soft spot for Benjy Fenwick. She had quite a few run-ins with him during her head girl days seeing as he was constantly getting into trouble. He was just like a younger version of James who cared for nothing besides women and credentials. Granted, James could have gotten any of the women he wanted, but Lily was the one he was constantly pinning after. For Benjy it was all about the next mission, the next adventure story to tell to the ladies. Benjy was quite the charmer…or at least he tried to be. Lily always found herself laughing at the sight of him around the opposite sex. Somehow he always managed to make a fool of himself.

"Are you calling me fat, Benjy?" she asked with mock indignation. He held his hands up in defensive.

"I'm calling you pregnant, there's a difference…mostly," he added with a mischievous smile. She swatted his shoulder and shook her head.

"Still the same Benjy," Marlene noted with a roll of her eyes. "What about you Caradoc, you're being awfully quiet."

"Exhausted is all, this one though, he found himself those muggle energy drinks."

"Might want to keep him away from those," Lily winced.

"You're telling me? He was bouncing off the walls all night, nearly broke his television with the lamp in the room."

"You guys were in the same room?"

"Nope, we were in separate rooms, doesn't change the fact that I could hear him freaking out when it turned off after the lamp hit the power switch," Caradoc supplied. Lily had to stop herself from giggling. Wizards and muggle technology, it never failed to amuse her.

"You guys do realize that I'm still standing right here?" Benjy finally quipped. Marlene chuckled as Caradoc faked a surprised look.

"What? Benjy? How much did you hear? I am so sorry, so deeply sorry that it physically wounds me that you were there for that whole conversation," he paused before grinning widely, "not really though, suck it up, friend."

"Ahh, the bonding over deadly Order missions," Benjy said, throwing his arm around Caradoc's shoulder.

Lily looked at the two thoughtfully. Benjy couldn't be more right. Lily was unable to remember a time they had been so friendly to each other. Sure, one had never disliked the other, but they had been nothing more than acquaintances. Over their mission the two had gained the ability to communicate without words, the same one that Lily had with her friends. She could see it being passed between them as their eyes continued to dart every which way. They were still nervous, jumpy, and ready to defend themselves if they had to. It was a hard feeling to shake off, Lily knew from personal experience.

After James got back from his missions, it took him several days to readjust. In those several days she couldn't even touch him without getting a wand whipped in her face. He'd sleep on the couch in front of the door for fear of someone breaking in, though they were perfectly safe. She'd often go into the living room and sleep in the chair beside him, not wanting him to be alone. Always looking over your shoulder became habit so quickly that it was nearly impossible to break.

"Speaking of deadly Order missions," Marlene began, "how did it go?"

"Well, exceptionally well," Caradoc supplied.

"Very well," Benjy added with a grin. "You'll never believe what we found out."

"Is it really all that great?" Lily asked with doubt.

"Well, anything that has to do with his plans is never great," Caradoc shrugged. "The info we got is…well…it can save a lot of people."

"Save people?" Marlene asked.

"Yeah, you'll never believe what we heard," Benjy started.

"Quiet Fenwick," Caradoc said hitting upside the head. "Albus wants us to tell everyone at once."

"Come on, what are two people going to hurt?" Benjy whined.

"You know what? The suspense is obviously too great for you, I think Lils and I are just going to go," Marlene said, pointing over to Alice and Frank who had just arrived.

"We're excited to hear it though," Lily spoke. "Congratulations!" The boys murmured their thanks as the two walked off.

Alice and Frank were sitting in some chairs by Dumbledore's fireplace. Frank was holding her hand and the two were laughing about something he had said. They were possibly the sweetest couple Lily and Marlene had ever seen. Frank treated her like a princess and no one was better than he in her eyes. The pure love they had for each other was undeniable and clear to anyone who looked at them.

"Alice, Frank," Marlene called, wanting to get their attention. The couple looked up and Alice smiled.

"Marlene, Lily, how's it going?" she asked.

"Great," Lily said patting her stomach. "Harry's been extra active; he's just waiting to get out of there,"

"Really? Neville's been…relaxed. It's funny; he just seems to go with it. I'll get the occasional kick but he's pretty calm."

"Harry's the opposite, I don't know how we're going to keep him from getting into trouble," Lily replied with a laugh.

"Have you guys talked to Benjy and Caradoc?" Frank asked, helping Alice stand. Dumbledore was motioning for them to gather closer.

"Just before you two, actually," Marlene said. She sucked in her breath when someone ran up behind her and looped their arm through hers. It was Sirius.

"Hello all," he grinned. "What're you talking about?"

"Benjy and Caradoc," Alice filled him in, "What did you guys hear?"

"From what they told me a few seconds ago they have some pretty big news," It was James coming up behind them, latching onto Lily's hand.

"Good or bad?" Frank asked, looking nervous as if he didn't know if he wanted the answer or not.

"Caradoc seems pretty grim, Benjy's just getting all hyped up because their mission was actually a success," James chuckled.

"Well it looks like we're going to find out either way," Sirius replied, motioning to Dumbledore who was about to speak.

"Good evening," the man said with the controlled tone they all knew. "I trust you are all well and understand why we called this meeting today. Mr. Fenwick and Mr. Dearborn just returned from their mission. I trust you two wish to be the ones to tell them what you discovered?"

"Of course," Benjy said, rushing up to the front with Caradoc on his heels. Caradoc began speaking first.

"Dumbledore had asked us to tail a couple of middle ranked death eaters, not the ones on the top, but the ones who know what's happening."

"It took a long time…lots of missing sleep because they work on a messed up schedule," Benjy said with a nod.

"At first it seemed like we weren't going to get anywhere with following them around, until we eavesdropped on them in some random alley way."

"How come they didn't see you?" A voice in the back of the room piped up, it was Dorcas.

"We were given a special…tool to help us. It's kinda 'confidential'" Benjy winced. Caradoc snuck a quick glance at James, giving him a nod of the head. Lily was the only other one who noticed it. The two had borrowed his cloak with the terms of making sure it was kept a secret.

"Anyway," Caradoc started again, "they're going to taboo his name." A murmur of voices rose up ad people became confused.

"They? Who?"

"What name, anyway?"

"How are they going to do that?"

All kind of questions were thrown through the room, bouncing off of each other carelessly. Finally Dumbledore stood from his seat and they all became silent.

"It would be greatly appreciated if you wait for Mr. Dearborn to explain," he pronounced. Caradoc continued to speak.

"Somehow Voldemort's forces have found a way to put a trace on his name, Voldemort's. Not yet, soon though, within the next month. We don't know how and we have no idea whether it's going to be a hundred percent effective, but something will happen if you speak his name aloud."

There was silence for a long while as everyone processed the information. The voices started up again, this time louder and, if possible, more confused. It was obviously the expected reaction, however, for Dumbledore made no move to quiet them. Lily found it for the best. The other Order members needed to let their concerns out whether they'd actually be heard or not. She, personally, didn't know what to think about it. A taboo was going to be on a name? It seemed insane. Then again, the ministry could trace spells, why not words?

Slowly everyone began to quiet, obviously waiting for some sort of insight. These were the kind of things Dumbledore was good at handling. He'd know what to do and they were all sure of it. He stood once more just as they had expected him to.

"I'm going to ask that until further notice we will refer to our friend Tom as anything you'd like besides 'Lord Voldemort,'" he paused to wait for everyone to become quiet again. "There is nothing we can do until we discover more information, we only wish for your safety. I suggest everyone go home and take in what you have just heard; missions will be assigned next week. Goodnight."

And that was the end of that. Lily decided that calling him something besides Voldemort was going to be a hard habit to break.

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Sorry this is way late! My beta and I were both on vacation this memorial day weekend. Hopefully I'll be forgiven :/. Anyway…

Fourth chapter all :), hope you enjoyed it. For those of you intent on the story staying canon, the taboo on Voldemort's name did appear during the first wizard war, I just imagine it being much more primitive and a lot less reliable than it was in the second wizard war. Thank you reviewers, your support is always welcome! Thanks also to my beta reader, you're a wonderful help! Until next week.

-Sweets5236