(Better off dead - Sleeping with Sirens)
•••••
She says she wants to end it all when she's all alone in her room
She cries
The way she feels inside is too much for her
When all you got is these four walls
It's not that hard to feel so small
Or even exist at all
How come no one heard her when she said
Maybe I'm better off dead
If I was would it finally be enough
To shut out all those voices in my head?
Maybe I'm better off dead
Better off dead!
Did you hear a word
Hear a word I said?
This is not where I belong
You gonna miss me when I'm gone
Gone, gone
This is not where I belong
You gonna miss me when I'm gone
•••••
She was strong with her fists, but her heart was another story. She tried to keep a smile in front the others; but when she locked herself in her room, tears came out mercilessly. It was raining, for that reason there were few customers, and there were more time to think. Barret left the bar a long time ago to atone for his sins...and now Cloud left too. Marlene cried constantly, she didn't know how to comfort her. Denzel was sick, his pains were persistent and that broke her maternal heart.
She felt insufficient, for more effort that she did, nothing was enough. Everything seemed to collapse before her eyes, and Cloud left her alone with this entire burden.
-Probably I am not enough for him- she thought.
Yes, that was the reason of his leaving. After all, he still thought about another woman. She heard Denzel's cough from the next room and she started crying.
-I should be the one to get sick...- Her sins, her guilty, her loneliness, her uselessness...she doesn't deserve to live -Maybe I'm better off dead.
-Tifa! Denzel is spitting blood- screamed Marlene from the corridor.
The woman wiped her tears and stood up to attend her son -Why did you take the easy way, Cloud?...Should I take an easy way too? Maybe you're gonna miss me when I'm gone...