A/N: I know the subject of this chapter has been done over and over (I can practically see you rolling your eyes as you read it). But I don't see a way Cal and Gillian could have ever moved on without addressing it. So... here we go. I hope you enjoy it, anyway.

The usual disclaimer applies.

3x6 Beyond Belief

"So you don't think we should do anything but rather wait it out?" The anger in Ria Torres' voice is unmistakeable even if she's whispering.

"Yes. Foster and Lightman are adamant when it comes to their inner circle. They don't want us to interfere; so we keep our noses out. End of story." Loker struggles with his role in life in general and in The Lightman Group in particular these days and it is reflected in his words. He gave up his concept of radical honesty that was part of his unique charm somewhere along the way but doesn't seem to know which attribute to adapt instead. It doesn't help that he does not make any progress job-wise. To make matters worse, Lightman is in a bad mood today and treated him like his personal errand boy earlier. It is not the first time and won't be the last.

"But this is different," Torres tries again. "Lightman has always been rude to everyone but never to Foster. Not like that. Something is wrong."

"What if?" Loker shrugs. "It's not our obligation to fix whatever went wrong between them. Maybe he just takes his mood out on her, too, because he has finally realized that he can. It's not as if she fights back."

Torres sighs. The fact that Foster, indeed, doesn't show any indication that she intends to put up resistance bothers her even more than Lightman's behavior. Ria is loyal to both, Foster and Lightman. She won't ever forget that they offered her a chance to work for them despite her complete lack of a scientific background, being a natural or not. Torres has a personality with rough edges like Lightman. And Foster has been supporting her from the start, urging Lightman to take her along when new cases came up. It's not a competition who she likes or respects more. This is not what it is about. It's about The Lightman Group that has become Ria's second home. She needs their surrogate family to function. And if Lightman and Foster don't get along, this won't work.

"A couple of days," she states. "If nothing changes, I will do something." Torres has no idea what that something will be, but that has never stopped her in the past. She will figure it out.

"Whatever." Loker's indifference is real. Right now, he is frustrated. Deep down, though, he cares about his job and the people he works with, even about his nemesis Dr. Cal Lightman. Ria knows that much.

"This has to stop," Gillian announces without preamble as she enters Cal's office. He makes a show as if she startled him out of his sleep, taking his feet off his desk and sitting up. "You weren't sleeping," she says, ignoring his efforts.

"Maybe I was," he contradicts her. Something he seems to do on a regular basis these days. "Dreaming of you."

"Yeah, sure," Gillian snorts dismissively, registering the bitterness in her voice. She hates it. The way Cal overdoes his reaction as a deflection because they have become so estranged from each other that they don't know how to interact anymore as well as the way she jumps to the worst possible conclusion whatever he does or says, unable to suppress her annoyance. There used to be a time when his words would have been the beginning of affectionate banter. "You have been dreaming of me?" - "I always do, luv. You know that." But not anymore. Those days are past.

Gillian didn't sleep last night, dwelling on her dark thoughts. So much has gone wrong during the past few months. The entire time, she has been waiting for things to sort themselves out but since she overheard a discussion between Torres and Loker the day before, this is no option anymore. Now she wonders whether it is too late to change tack. Perhaps she has been waiting for too long.

You tell me we're OK. You know I've always had more trouble reading you than anyone else. That's what Cal said to her after another one of his countless solo actions a couple of weeks ago. He is not clueless, knows that his behavior offends her. She wouldn't even mind because in a way he has always been like that. Actually, she likes that it is not easy to get along with him. They have always argued, but he never crossed a certain line with her in times past. It felt like a privilege to be one of the few people that he would spare when he was in a bad mood. Well, somehow she has lost that privilege.

The Lightman Group is build on my sweat. I don't see anyone else's name on the door. It all started with these words. For whatever reason, Cal jumped and crossed the line that had protected her before. It pulled the rug out from under her. Gillian couldn't breathe, couldn't believe it. They were equal partners, close friends, and there he was attacking her out of the blue. But it got worse. You mess with my finances again, you and I are through. Now, you're the language expert, you tell me: Do I mean that? It felt horrible to be on the receiving end of his temper. He had never talked to her like that before. Gillian didn't say anything for various reasons. On one hand, she simply couldn't, was stunned. On the other hand, she didn't want to admit how deeply he had hurt her. Cal had done it so casually that she would have felt even more at his mercy than she already was. Gillian didn't expect an apology. Cal rarely apologized, if ever. But he had other ways to show her that he was sorry, that he cared. However, not this time. And not the times that followed. Something had changed.

So when Cal asked her to tell him they were OK, there was a voice inside Gillian's head screaming No, we're not. Don't you see that? What are you doing?. Once again, though, she didn't say anything, bottled up her feelings and punished him with silence. And once again, he didn't seem to care that she hadn't answered. As if her silence gave him permission to continue. Maybe it did. But he can't actually assume that they are OK, now can he?

Gillian remembers another situation only a few days ago. She'd had a good day and had drunk to it. Cal joined her on the balcony later. They swayed as if they were dancing, hugged like that hadn't in months and almost kissed. It felt as if everything bad between them was erased, as if they were everything to each other again they had ever been and perhaps more. Especially when he said those words. Thank you for cleaning up my mess, Gillian. It wasn't an apology, but she had to take what she could get, right? And it was what she needed to carry on, to forgive and forget. When Cal affronted her the next day, though, she realized that those occasions weren't a glitch, no matter how much she wanted to believe that. They were a pattern. And he won't stop unless she makes him.

Cal studies her face. There is no way he can overlook the anger and pain. And for once, he decides not to ignore it and gets serious, "What's going on, Gill?"

What's going on? Really? Gillian takes a deep breath. "You tell me. You have been treating me as if I were your worst enemy. We have always had our fair share of arguments, but this... It has gotten out of control, way out of control, Cal. Our staff is talking. And this is my company, too, no matter whether my name is on the door or not. It's build on my knowledge, my money, and my sweat, just like yours. People have to respect me. And they won't do it when I allow you to treat me that way. So stop."

Cal keeps a straight face. He is not used to her pushing back, Gillian realizes. He is used to her putting up with his capers. She senses that he is about to say something, and for whatever reason, the tilt of his head or twitch of his shoulder, perhaps simply because of the way he breathes, she knows that whatever he is about to say will make matters worse. He needs more time. Cal is the kind of man who never backs down. If he was a dog, he would bark and bite and she just has cornered him.

Gillian raises her hand in an unambiguous gesture, "No explanations or excuses. Please. Not now." She makes a pause to let him read her so that he sees that she wants to hear him out, needs to in fact, but later albeit she doubts that he understands her reasons. Sometimes she knows him better than he knows himself. "Just promise me that you will stop."

There is a brief hesitation before Cal nods his approval, keeping his eyes glued to her.

Is this enough of a victory for today? No, it's not, Gillian decides. Even if Cal will be true to his word (and she blocks out the fact that he avoided to actually say it but only nodded), this means nothing if... Gillian throws some documents on his desk.

"Here. I froze your assets again. Are we through now?" It's time for the bitter truth with the gloves off. She holds his gaze as her pulse quickens until she hears a faint buzzing in her ears. Gillian can't believe that she actually did it. It feels as if she is falling without a safety net, waiting for the impact. But that's OK. Cal used to be her safety net and she doesn't feel safe with him anymore. If she has only herself to rely on, then she needs to know. The sooner, the better.

Cal looks at the documents but doesn't touch them. He, the man who seems unable to stop moving for one second, has become completely immobile.

"No," he eventually says. "I was mad at you when I said that. Idle threat."

"You never took it back," Gillian's voice quavers; she can't help it. So far, she has represented her cause with steely determination. The more her wounded feelings surface, though, the more her determination is wavering. All she wants is to hole up and lick her wounds.

"Thought I didn't have to." Now that's a lie and he wants her to hear it, checks to make sure she did. His way of telling her that he is all too well aware he screwed up. Cal knew that she took his threat seriously back then. And she will never know if it actually was just that, an idle threat, meant to play mind games with her, or the ugly truth because he was so angry with her that he wanted to hurt her. She is his blind spot? If this is true, Cal is her black hole. There is an entire uncharted universe inside of him.

"Why? Why treat me like that, Cal? Why say this to me to begin with? Payback for something I did? For Burns? I refuse to believe that, but it's the only possible explanation I've come up with." The folder he had on Burns. Following them around. His eloquent, superior behavior as if nothing concerned him that was all fake. Only weeks before, Cal had tried to talk with her about them, basically admitted that he wanted a them, and then she chose Burns. It must have been a slap in the face. The one thing Cal is really bad at is losing people he loves. And he loves her. Gillian knows that.

Cal contorts his face. Regret. Shame. Anger. But not directed at her, at himself. "No explanations, no excuses, right?" Gillian threw him a lifeline when she said that earlier. He doesn't want to tell her. Can't. At least not now.

"So are you done hurting me back?" she asks quietly. Gillian doesn't need an apology; she just needs them to be OK. Hurting her has taken a heavy toll on him. It's the first time Gillian realizes that. Cal is suffering, too. He contorts his face another time. Bull's eye. She leans over and grabs the documents. "I didn't freeze your assets."

Cal is startled. Then he pulls himself together. "I knew that."

"No. You didn't."

Gillian lingers for a moment before she turns around and walks out. She got what she came here for; they closed that inglorious chapter once and for all. Now time has to tell what that means for them.

A couple of days later, Cal overhears Gillian talking to a client, giving advise how to get through a difficult situation. Her soft voice carries through her office into the hallway. But we push back and we hold on and we push back.

It's only then that Cal realizes the full extent of what Gillian had been doing. She held on (and he can't even begin to imagine how difficult it must have been at times, given the way he treated her), and eventually she pushed back (What if she hadn't? Where would they be now? Would they still be here together?). His thoughts make him dizzy. Cal has to support himself against the wall.

"Are you OK?" Ria has appeared out of nowhere. This seems to happen a lot lately, as if she is watching him, waiting for something. She eyes him rather warily than concerned. Something is definitely going on. Turning her head to follow his field of vision, Ria sees and hears Gillian talking to their client. She looks back at Cal, the hint of a contented smile on her face. "You're gonna be," she answers her own question before she walks on. Now what was that?

Cal has no time to think about it, though, as Gillian's voice captivates him again. And we get help from people who really care about us. So take this step. He feels the material of the wall. Cold. Hard. Gillian's soft voice seems to belong to another, better world. A world that is only a stone's throw away. Has been all the time.

"Wanker," he mumbles to himself, hunching his shoulders before he lets go of the wall.

To be continued