First of all... SORRY! To all of you. I´m feeling really guilty towards all of my dear reviewers for having taken so much time to update. I´m quite busy with that stupid paper at the moment and being busy with that at times results in a minor writer´s block when it comes to writing fiction of any sort, so again: my humble apologies, guys! So, here, finally, is a new chapter for you. Not one of the longest for sure, but I promise the next update won´t take as long as this one! Seriously!

Wow, 104 reviews:D You´re awesome!

2wingo: Yay, your review re-appeared! Nice to see you got the scene as I had intended it and honestly: who could be mad with Erik forever (speaking from a girl´s perspective here but whatever ;-))

Eternal E: Good to hear I didn´t strangle myself in a paradox somewhere, so thanks for letting me of the hook. ;-) I love your wine comparison! Thanks a lot for that! And... oh... so sorry... let me end your withdrawal symptoms:-D Here you go, hope you enjoy.

Meow: Uhum. Writing this tension is a lot of fun! Glad you liked it. :-)

AngelofSnow: Ah well, 101 is a cool number too, don´t you think Angel? ;-) Awww, people telling me my stories brought them to tears is one of the nicest compliments an amateur author like I am one can get. Thanks so much!

KumaDaPuma: A true charmer, yep, so how could anyone possible be cold towards an apology like that, crappy as it may be?

XChocolateChipX: Yay, another new reviewer:-D Great to read you like my story. And I have to say I´m really glad you like my portrayal of Mystique as I always think her being the most difficult character to write. Oh, and thanks to Angel and Kuma for promoting! You rock!

Chapter 22)

Capital fears

Another bad night´s sleep had followed their conversation that evening. No nightmares though, but the words he and Mystique had exchanged in the kitchen had kept him awake. This annoyed him. Rash and impulsive as his enemies had always seen him, Erik had always been a man who had valued his ratio above his emotion. He had seldomly acted from impulse, he had always acted on plan. He had always been convinced he was doing the right thing and had hardly known doubts on his actions as when he had been ready to carry them out, every bit of doubt had already been eliminated by rational thinking. Emotion was a luxury. Something not to be mingled with the Cause. Emotion blinded a determined man´s vision and mind. Emotion set free sadness and weakness... many of his willingness to feel affectionately had died long ago... choked and drowned on muddy grounds soaked with the water of pitiless rain...

All these years later, nothing had changed this. When he had turned his back on Raven, he had done this because he had felt... no, because he had known this was the only right thing for him to do. The mutual affection that had existed between him and her was a different realm... the blue scaled, beautiful shape shifter was different from the weak, naked homo sapiens that had stared up at him from the metal floor. Two spheres, two worlds, he knew it had been best to keep them separate.

Still, in this night it was this well established system of ratio and emotion, the system that he had kept apart so well for most of his life, that had caused his insomnia. All efforts to distract his thoughts had failed, all attempts to busy his mind with what he deemed really important... rally the Brotherhood, find new recruits, think up a plan to free the Children of the Sun had been distracted by some blurry thought in the back of his head that had bothered him more than anything. There was no doubt to it. He didn´t know when it had happened, but lying on his back, his eyes staring into darkness, Erik Lehnsherr had to admit that his world had been shattered. There was no longer ratio on the one, emotion on the other hand. These two areas had mingled. They had mingled several times. The weak offer of apology he had given Mystique before he could hinder the words escape from him, his reaction back in the city when without hesitating he had struck down a young mutant to safe the life of a homo sapien child... this and more. No more black and white, he mused. This whole world was slowly threatening to become an ocean of grey. He had a strong disaffirmation for this particular colour.

Nothing had happened until two days later. Apart from his efforts to recruit and re-activate, days had been dull. Mystique had showed up more frequently, but whenever she was present, her behaviour was cold and strictly professional. No smiles, no emotion conveyed through her eyes, no more of these small gestures that had escaped her now and then. She was cold and distant, but at least she did no longer avoid him. They worked together, but Erik had the dull feeling they were not one team, but two individuals with a common goal. The three of them ate together and besides Erik noticing that the girl, Shade, was slowly putting off her shyness, it made him feel both helpless and bitter to see no lack in Mystique´s cold mask towards himself.

It was afternoon and Mystique had left the lair for some hours, following some information she had found referring to a secret gathering of mutants that had been displayed on an online forum protected by various passwords. If this was no trap but indeed a gathering of likeminded mutants, they might lateron persuade some of these to join the team.

Erik had had another phone call with Multiple man who had announced his arrival for the following day and was just about to go back to his files, when Shade entered his study after knocking. He looked up.

"How can I help you, my dear?" he asked softly.

"He tried it again." Shade spluttered and after a scowl from Erik added: "Think. I could feel him in my head."

Erik got up immediatly. ´At last´, he thought. He had watched Shade these last two days and had noted her increasing restlessness which he could only explain resulting from the fact that she had still had no sign of contact from her telepath friend.

"Indeed?" he said. "What did he tell you?" With a movement of his right hand he moved one of the metal chairs for her to sit. She followed his invitation and pushed a loose strand of her dark hair from her face before she answered.

"He seemed irritated" she said. "In a hurry. As if he was afraid someone would catch him using his telepathy to communicate with me or anyone else." Shade scowled slightly. "I´m not sure if I understood everything he said, but he let me know they are in Washington, all of them."

Erik leaned back in his chair scowling slightly. Washington then, he thought. This meant they had taken the mutants across the whole continent. His suggestions had therefore proven to be correct. They must have discovered their hiding under the destroyed mutant laboratories was no longer safe. Had they been scared? Or were there other reasons behind it?

"Did he tell you anything more?"

Shade slowly shook her head. "He only said they had been taken to Washington D.C, but didn´t tell me an address or something." So, supposedly the government or whoever was the head of this mutant against mutant program did not trust their own weapons, Erik mused with a bitter smile. "Washington D.C that´s all he said... said they were sent on errands to observe more than ever before."

Erik nodded. "Good." he said and added when he saw the insecurity in Shade´s eyes. "At least now we have a point from where to start looking for your friends." He got up and smiled at her gently although inside of him he felt anger rise again. These children were captives and what was worse, they were used against their fellow mutants not only without the knowledge of mutantkind but also without the knowledge of humans. Any weakness the Children of the Sun would show, any mistake they might make in public, any small accidents that might occur because of them using their powers was another potential reason for humans to manifest their prejudices. Young mutants sneaking around, spying observing... all of this fitted only too well into the image too many homo sapiens had of mutants.

He rounded the desk and the fear he saw in her eyes was for once not directed against him, but resulted from her fear for her friends. To look into this teenager´s eyes made his heart feel heavy. From an impulse he put his hand on her shoulder. "I gave you my promise, didn´t I?" he said and she nodded hastily. "I will not break it" he said and felt his heart become a little less heavy when he saw a new spark of hope light in her eyes. He turned away. "We have much to do" he said, changing the topic before this girl´s sadness could become a too strong bridge to his own past... his own fears...

"Soon, we will have other mutants to help us. And in a few days, we will have a plan how to help Think and the others." When he left his study and shot a short glance over his shoulder he caught her wiping a single tear from her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt. He was sure she hadn´t noticed he had seen and decided to let her keep this illusion. Still, seeing this girl cry with fear brought something he had promised to himself long ago back to his mind. Something which he now knew he had failed: This, he told himself, would be the last mutant child to cry over her existence. Mystique hadn´t been the last mutant child to cry... Despite the soothing hum of metal the door radiated towards him before he opened it effortlessly, Erik suddenly felt weak.