Once alone, Qui-Gon made an attempt at taking a nap, but found it impossible to do so. The moment his head touched his pillow, he was out like a light. Less than twenty minutes later he was wide awake. His heart felt like it was attempting to escape his chest. It took him far longer than it ever had to calm himself, and even then he couldn't calm himself completely. The image of his dead Padawan stayed fresh in his mind, playing again and again just for him every time he closed his eyes.
I've got to speak to the Council about this dream, he thought with a sigh. I can't go on like this. Obi-Wan deserves better from me.
He ran a comb through his hair and tied it back, carefully avoiding looking at himself in the mirror. That darkness, that sheer power he felt at the end of the dream shook him to the very core of his being. He didn't want to look into his own eyes and see that darkness staring back at him.
As he exited his quarters and strode down the long corridor toward the meditation room where he knew he would find Master Yoda, he tried to will away his worry. Surely it is but a dream, he thought. Yoda will set me right.
He passed a young knight he didn't know by name whose cheeks flushed when she caught sight of him. He flashed her a small smile and nodded a silent greeting as he passed. The tiny giggle that hit his ears was almost musical.
He tried one last time to clear his mind and calm himself before he alerted Yoda to his presence. The door hissed open, and Qui-Gon stepped inside as Yoda lifted the shades to allow some light into the room.
"Master Qui-Gon," said Yoda, "something to say, have you?" Qui-Gon nodded as he sat on a cushion opposite the one Yoda was nestled in.
"For months now I have been having this recurring dream," he began. He proceeded to tell the Master every detail of the nightmare that had been seared into his memory, his voice tinged with guilt as he spoke of the terrible power he felt just before waking each time.
For a long time, Yoda said nothing.
"Dwelled too long on this, you have. This dream is nothing more than that."
Qui-Gon found he had vastly overestimated how much hearing that would calm him. Even coming from the oldest and wisest of them all, it sounded like a lie.
"Master Yoda—"
"Fear losing your Padawan, do you?" Yoda asked, cutting him off. Qui-Gon was taken aback.
"…Yes, I do," he admitted quietly after a long silence. "Of course I do. He's so young, Master Yoda. He's only a boy."
"Master Qui-Gon," Yoda said, his tone grave. "A great understanding of the dark side, you have. Afford to be afraid for your Padawan's life, you cannot." Qui-Gon nodded, closing his eyes.
"I know," he said. "It is a struggle. I am trying."
"Do, or do not, Qui-Gon," Yoda said, his voice sharp. Qui-Gon opened his eyes to Yoda leaning forward and making eye contact so intense it made the other Master rather uncomfortable. "There is no try."
Again, Qui-Gon nodded. He stood then and bowed before leaving the room hastily.
Something is amiss here, he thought. There is something we aren't seeing. The dark side is clouding our vision. He decided grab a meal. It was nearing dinnertime, after all, and it had been nearly a full day since he'd allowed himself a meal. He was certain that food had been the first thing on his Padawan's mind when they'd arrived. For Qui-Gon, the hunger that gnawed at his ribs felt like nothing compared to the prospect of losing the boy.
He brought his food back to his quarters where he ate in solitude. It felt strange to eat alone after four straight months of sharing every meal with his Padawan, but it was not an entirely unwelcome feeling. He knew he had grown attached to his apprentice. Too attached, the Council would say. Time apart would only prove to be good for the both of them in the end.
We simply will not accept another mission for a while, he thought once his belly was full and his thoughts were clearer. If they didn't leave the Temple, Qui-Gon would not have to worry about letting his Padawan wander. The Temple was closed off to outsiders, and no Jedi would betray another by abducting their Padawan Learner.
He knew it wouldn't be easy to keep the boy at the Temple. With every passing year he'd grown more and more eager to explore the galaxy. Time spent at the Temple, though it was his home, was time he felt was wasted.
What better time to teach the boy some patience, he thought with a small grin. This will work.
The door chimed, alerting Qui-Gon that someone wished to see him. He stood and smoothed out his tunic. "Come in," he said. The door hissed open and in walked Obi-Wan, bright-eyed and wearing a broad grin. He bowed slightly in reverence as he approached his Master.
"Master, the Council has chosen me to tutor younglings!" he said far more enthusiastically than Qui-Gon had ever envisioned him being at the prospect of working with small children. "It's a month-long commitment, so I won't be able to go anywhere…" His voice— and his smile— fell as he said that, but he shook his head and the smile returned. Clearly the added responsibility was something the boy was craving.
"That's wonderful, Obi-Wan," the Master replied. "You are well on your way to becoming a wise and powerful Jedi Knight."
Obi-Wan's eyes widened and Qui-Gon felt the joy barely contained in within the boy grow. Before he could protest, Obi-Wan threw his arms around his Master, hugging him tightly. Qui-Gon relished in the physical contact; it wasn't often that the boy willingly hugged him anymore. In the last few years he'd become obsessed with his appearance, his reputation.
Qui-Gon was hoping that he'd grow out of it with time. The way the boy clung to him now gave him a glimmer of hope. He rested his chin against the top of the boy's head and closed his eyes as he enveloped his Padawan in his thick, strong arms.
And then, as suddenly as he'd initiated the hug, Obi-Wan pulled away, his cheeks flushed. He looked at the floor. "I'm sorry, Master. I'm sure you're exhausted after our mission. I won't keep you any longer," he said. He turned to leave, but Qui-Gon reached out and put a hand on his shoulder to stop him.
"No, Obi-Wan, stay. If you have nothing else to do right now, I could use the company." -Please,- he added silently, hoping he wouldn't sound too desperate. He'd been perfectly content to spend the rest of his night alone until the boy had hugged him.
Obi-Wan nodded. "All right," he said. "If you're sure I'm not being an annoyance, Master."
Qui-Gon couldn't help feeling a little hurt. "An annoyance? Surely I've never caused you to feel as though you are annoying me." Obi-Wan shook his head.
"I know I am difficult to deal with sometimes, Master, but you've never been anything but gracious and patient with me. I did not mean to accuse." They made their way to the small sitting area near the door and sat across from each other. For a long while, they sat in silence, simply enjoying one another's presence.
"You really ought to rest, Master," Obi-Wan murmured. He didn't need to reach out to his Master to feel the exhaustion radiating off of him. "You look as though you might fall asleep in your chair." Qui-Gon shook his head.
"I'll be fine," he insisted. He felt his Padawan reaching out to him via their Force-Bond, but he didn't reach out to meet him. It was too much of a risk that the boy would see too much if he allowed him into his mind then. Obi-Wan sighed.
"Master, I only want to help," he said. His voice was filled with worry.
"Your presence is help enough, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon assured him. Obi-Wan was right, he was exhausted. It took great effort to stay awake and alert enough to converse with the boy. Qui-Gon wanted to ask him to stay the night— he knew he would have a better chance of sleeping if Obi-Wan was nearby— but he felt foolish asking the boy to stay. He hadn't since Obi-Wan was still a child, a few months before his eighteenth birthday, in fact.
When he turned his attention back to his Padawan, he found that he was being stared at. Obi-Wan's face bore a serious expression as he studied the face of his Master. Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow in response.
"Is there something I can help you with, Obi-Wan?" he asked. Obi-Wan shook his head once, but continued to watch his Master. "It's impolite to stare, Obi-Wan."
"I'm sorry, Master. I've just never seen you this distressed before. You look like you could pass out at any moment. If even Master Yoda was unable to ease your mind, I can't help but worry for you. If you'd just tell me what's bothering you, maybe I can help!"
Qui-Gon gave him a sad smile. Though the boy still had much to learn about the Living Force, he was already a very compassionate man who selflessly wanted to help others when he could. He knew if he told Obi-Wan about the dream it would do more harm than good. He said nothing. Obi-Wan gave a soft grunt of frustration and stood up.
As he started for the door, Qui-Gon stood and reached for him with both his hand and the Force. Obi-Wan stopped and waited. "Stay," he pleaded. "Please, Obi-Wan."
"You ought to rest, Master. Get some sleep," Obi-Wan replied.
"I might sleep better with you here," Qui-Gon said. "Your presence is soothing." Obi-Wan turned back to face him and nodded.
"Then I will stay, Qui-Gon. But I must insist that you try to sleep." Qui-gon nodded.
"You drive a hard bargain, Obi-Wan, but I think I can agree to your terms." He was too tired to continue arguing. He hadn't been so tired before his Padawan had shown up. He blamed it on how comfortable he felt in his presence. He removed his tunic and boots before climbing into bed. Obi-Wan sat down next to him on the bed with a datapad. He had much to research before he started helping the younglings.
With his Padawan beside him, Qui-Gon fell asleep quickly. Obi-Wan leaned against the headboard, only casually reading what was on the datapad he held. His focus was elsewhere.
As his Master slept, the walls he'd built around himself with the Force crumbled. Obi-Wan was taking full advantage of that. If his Master had another nightmare he wanted to know what it was about. Maybe he could help then.
Eventually he abandoned the datapad, setting it on the low shelf that hung above the bed before he curled up beside his Master. As far as he could tell, his Master's sleep so far had been blissfully dreamless.