I was very fortunate Jane could only hold one grudge at a time. I was less fortunate in that the friend who betrayed her did it by writing a tell all article about my family. Sources included the mother of my child and my sister.
It had been about a week since our fight, and I was getting nervous. She declined to go to counseling with me, citing a busy schedule, but our linked calendars suggested that wasn't the whole truth. Our dates dwindled into custodial hand offs. I wondered if telling her was the right thing to, done in the name of full disclosure and openness, or if I had really done it to assuage my own guilty conscience. Then the phone call came.
"Rafael? Rafael, I'm so sorry. I didn't know. I had no idea!" It was Jane, and she was upset.
"I'm sure it's okay." I reassured her.
"No. No, it's not. Wesley wrote an article about your family. A bad one. A really bad one, Rafael. I'm so sorry. I didn't know."
"Hey, it's okay." I said again. "Can you send it to me? I'll forward it to my lawyers if it's as bad as you think."
"Okay." Jane agreed quietly. "I really had no idea. Text me later, if you have time?"
"Of course. I'll always have time for you. Text you when it's settled. I love you."
Jane ended the call. A moment later I heard a quiet ping as the article hit my inbox. I started reading it. It was absolutely as bad as Jane thought, especially the things Luisa said. I ran my hands through my hair. The two women I loved most on this earth, both so smart, both so cripplingly naive. Someone was also alleging some gross financial misconduct on my part, money that seemed to disappear. At least no one could track it to the shelter. I called my lawyers, sent them the article. They swore they could shut it down before the paper copy came out, and get it off the site within a few hours. I let out a deep breath, then texted Jane.
It's been taken care of. Don't worry.
I'm so sorry, Rafael. I didn't mean to.
I rubbed my eyes. It was like she didn't trust anything I said. We needed to talk.
Can I come over? I think we should talk.
There was a long pause while I waited for her reply text.
Let me come over there. Be there in fifteen.
I let out a deep breath. Finally we were going to talk. I checked my work email while I waited for her, made a quick call, little things to waste the minutes. That's what my life had become-Wasted minutes between seeing Jane or Mateo. A soft knock came from the door. I wondered if it was Jane, but she had her own key. I wandered over to the door and opened it, before raising an eyebrow.
"You have a key."
She blushed. "I know. It's just your text seemed serious, and I wasn't sure if you wanted me just wandering in, or..." She trailed off.
"Hey," I said softly, "Come in. Sit." She shuffled in, and I closed the door behind her. "You know I love you, right? There's nothing you would do that I couldn't forgive."
She sat down on the couch and sighed. "But the article. It was bad."
I sat down next to her, our thighs touching. She scooted an inch over so we were no longer in contact. "It was bad." I acknowledged. "But I fixed it. It happens. It's not your fault, you trusted him. You didn't know."
She buried her face in her hands. "How do you do that? How do you forgive so easily?"
I pried her hands away from her face and took them in mine. Our eyes met, she looked nervous. "Why do you look nervous?" I asked quietly. "I love you. I'm not upset with you. You and Mateo are everything to me. I would never do anything to hurt you, I would do anything not to lose you again. So forgiveness is easy. The alternative is just not something I'm willing to accept." Jane bit her bottom lip. "Hey." I prompted. "What are you thinking?"
She was quiet for a minute. She looked at our entwined hands, at my face, in my eyes. "It's just." She paused. "Your feelings are overwhelming. And sometimes they overwhelm me. And sometimes I worry."
"Worry?"
Her head fell forward, resting on our hands. "Sometimes I worry if I let my guard down and let myself really fall for you, that things will get too intense, and that I'll forget who I am."
"And who are you?" I asked.
"Jane the Virgin." She muttered. My face split into a huge grin. "Stop smiling. I can feel it."
"So you're afraid to get too close because you're worried we'll have sex? Just clarifying." I tried to stop smiling. I couldn't.
"Rafael! It's not funny! My identity took a serious hit when I got pregnant then became a Mom, being a virgin feels like all that's left of my old life sometimes. Be serious."
"Okay." I said softly. "Here's what I was afraid your reasons would be. One, I was just a fantasy for you and the reality just doesn't live up. Two, you only wanted to be together for Mateo and you've discovered that's not enough. Scenario three, you spent our entire relationship still in love with Michael, and even though you've accepted you can't be together, he's still the one you really want. Or option four, part of you has never forgiven me for not calling six years ago, and I've been confirming that grudge every time I make even a little mistake, let alone my bigger, stupider failings. That one's the worst. Then it's completely my fault."
Jane look horrified. "I don't understand. Why didn't you tell me? That must have been awful!"
I shrugged, smiled. "Like I said, losing you is worse than any other option. You are everything to me. I can't help that's how I feel. And I don't want to feel any other way. So yes, finding out the reason you can't seem to commit emotionally is because you're so tempted to tear off my clothes and have your way with me is some of the best news I've ever gotten."
"Let's not paraphrase quite that much." Jane replied, deadpan.
"But that is what's holding you back." My grin was going to crack my face.
"Yes." She replied, darkly.
"So let's fix it." I said hopefully. "Let's set some rules, put up some boundary lines. I'll start. I promise not to penetrate any part of you with any part of me unless we get married."
Jane looked doubtful. "I'm not saying I don't want to, trust me, I do, but I'm saying I love you more than I want to have my way with you."
Finally she relaxed a little and started to laugh. "Have your way with me?"
I shrugged. "You're a romance novel writer. I figured you'd appreciate it."
"I do." She nodded. "Okay, so no one will be penetrating anyone. No getting carried away in the heart of the moment, like last time."
"Agreed." I said in a surprisingly neutral tone, considering I was enjoying the memory of her naked, wrapped around me, and begging for me to make love to her. "So I think you should take the lead. Before we fool around, I think you should set parameters, and I promise to respect them."
"So, how do I set them? Just say 'I'm up for upper body only?' Or more specific?"
I put my hands on her waist. "More specific. Over or under your clothes? Does that include under wear?"
She inhaled deeply. "Over clothes."
"Okay." I said, before slowly kissing her neck. "You trust me, right?"
"Yes, of course." Jane replied, almost a whisper.
I kept kissing up her neck, watching her eyes drift closed. I let my hands slowly caress her sides as they trailed up her body to her face. Then I smiled before kissing her again, deeply. As I pulled away she moaned a little in protest.
"Before I get distracted, while I have you talking, what's your timeline?"
"What?" Jane exclaimed. "What timeline?"
"Marriage. Maybe more children?" I replied, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her closer.
Jane blushed. "Is marriage something you're thinking about?" She asked.
"It is. But the question is, where is marriage on your timeline?"
Jane leaned back into my arms and looked at the ceiling for a moment. " I always said I wanted to be done college before getting engaged. But I have graduated, and grad school could be years. I wanted to be debt free, but as a writer, who knows how long that could be. I love you, I just don't want anything to be rushed. I want us to enjoy this, to enjoy every stage of our relationship. So I don't want to skip through dating, you know?"
"Yeah." I said softly. "It's not something I can put in my calendar, but I hear you." I kissed her again, savoring the feel of her lips on mine.
"You shouldn't put it in your calendar." Jane murmured against my mouth. "Or it won't be a surprise."
"Can you stay? I asked between kisses, enjoying holding her. She shook her head.
"No, Ma's working an early shift. But soon?" She started to get up.
"Of course." I murmured against her hair.
We left my suite, and I walked her to the front door of the hotel. I cupped her face in my hand.
"Rafael, I just-" She looked troubled. I pointed above us.
"Mistletoe." I interrupted. "I love you. Now stop worrying and kiss me."
First she smiled. Then she did. It was lingering and passionate, certainly different from the kisses I'd been getting. She trusted me. She believed in us.
"I should go." She said shyly. "Before you drag me back upstairs."
"Oh?" I asked her with a smirk. "Are you sure it's not the other way around?"
"Shut up." She said laughing. "I love you. Thank you."
"The pleasure is all mine." I said, winking. "Or at least, it will be."
Jane came closer, pulling me down by my shirt so she could whisper in my ear. "Well I hope you can share. I want some, too."
My mouth went dry, my heart stopped, the blood rushed away from my head. I gaped at her while she laughed. Then I watched her walk out the door to her car.
"Stop staring at my daughter like that." Came a stern voice from behind me.
"Rogelio! Sir." I floundered. "I didn't see you."
"Obviously not, or you wouldn't have manhandled my daughter like that! I don't even want to know the filth you were telling her."
If he only knew.
Rogelio continued. "You have not texted me, you have not visited. You upset her, then you bring her to your hotel! My daughter is not a booty call!"
I cringed. "Let's take this upstairs so we can talk. In private."
He frowned. "I'll bet that's just what you said to Jane."
Well I don't want to have my way with you, I said in my head. We awkwardly made our way back to my suite. I closed the door, fighting a bizarre feeling of déjà vu.
"Did Jane say anything about our fight last week?"
"Everyone heard about it." Rogelio responded. "Xiomara said she hadn't seen Jane that mad in years!"
Great.
"It was a bad fight. I wasn't sure she would forgive me. So asking you for your blessing seemed inappropriate, given the circumstances."
Rogelio tapped a finger against his pursed lips. "And has that situation been resolved?"
I nodded. "It seems to have been."
He looked at me pointedly. "So let's have that talk."
Nervousness was not something I was accustomed to feeling. I avoided things to circumvent failure, I would generally take the easy victory over the hard road with poor chance of success. Asking Jane to marry me the first time was so easy, because I had been convinced she'd say yes. Asking Rogelio for permission was nerve wracking. Him saying yes was a latent way of giving permission for me to have sex with his daughter. He was best friends with Michael. My odds were grim. But I had to try.
"Yeah, okay. Let's sit." I gestured towards the couch.
Rogelio raised an eyebrow. "Your casting couch won't work on me."
'Grace in the face of adversity' I heard Jane whisper in my head. Maybe she had been praying? I couldn't remember.
"I deserve that." I began. "I deserve a lot of things. Scorn, derision, mistrust. I made a lot of terrible mistakes when Jane and I dated. I certainly can't excuse that. She absolutely deserves better. She deserves the best, deserves everything I can give her. She's selfless, smart, beautiful, everything anyone could ever want in a partner. And she would be- My partner, that is, in everything. I love her, and I want to spend the rest of my life making her happy. With your blessing, may I marry your daughter?"
Rogelio looked a little moist around the eyes, but I would never say it. "As you know, I never expected to have this moment. Now that it's here, it's actually quite hard for me." He paused for a second, gathering himself and putting his tough face back on. "Make it easier. Tell me how you will make her happy."
I looked at him, surprised. "Xiomara didn't tell you? I bought the house for her. She's picking all the renovations. There's an in law suite for Alba to live in, and rooms for you and Xiomara to visit."
I continued on, telling him about the surprise room for Jane, the one I was hiding from her. Then I told him about how I would propose, then when the wedding would be, if Jane agreed. I finally got a small smile out of him.
"You've thought this out. I can appreciate that. Let's see the ring. And the papers. Only the best for Jane! I will make sure of that." I went over to my bedside drawer, and grabbed a small red box. Rogelio raised an eyebrow. "Cartier? Hmm. I would have taken you to be a Winston man."
"Petra's engagement ring was Winston. I'm smarter now. Winston is the King of Diamonds, but Cartier is the Royal Jeweler; an artist like Jane. We both want the best for her."
Rogelio cracked the box and took a quick breath in. "It's perfect." He handed it back. "You seem serious. I hope you don't mess up again. I don't know you very well, but I can see you're a devoted father, and you will be a devoted husband to my daughter." Tentatively he put his hand on my shoulder. "Last year I gained a daughter, and this year I gain a son."
"Does that mean?"
"Yes, Rafael. You have my permission and blessing to marry Jane."
"Thank you." I replied, over the moon.
One down, two to go.

A/n: Sorry if this seems rushed or stilted. And short. I'm on week 2 with fairly severe shingles and feel like garbage. Anyway, I hated how the writers skipped Christmas, so I planned it for this chapter! But after like three rewrites it was so boring! I nixed it. I really wanted Rogelio to give Raf a hard time, since this is the only time he'll get to fill the stereotypical "overprotective father" role in Jane's life.