A/N: Hey guys, I got a lot of favorites and follows last chapter WHICH WAS AWESOME. Made me feel spectacular. But also guys, please review, they're very important to me. Like precious little swaddled babies of joy. Also a guest review basically called Lauren trash and I laughed so freaking hard. Thank you guest. Thank you new readers too, and thank you old faithfuls. Also, Guys I have to give Lauren Boswell a character with feelings. I can't just make her this flat horrible person. I hate her almost as much as I hate Penny and I gave both of them personalities. I have to. Have fun with this chapter, and don't forget to leave a review. I made a url specifically for Calzona SugarKaneMontgomery/tumblr/com
You can fall in love with the same person a thousand times.
You can fall in love in dingy bar restroom, pressed up against a stained porcelain sink.
You can fall in love at two in the morning, dressed in dark laced lingerie and a birthday hat.
You can fall in love in an elevator. Or under a hospital ambulance bay.
Or a right before your car careens into a pick-up truck.
You can fall in love a thousand times with the same person.
Each time different. Each time special.
Callie thought she had loved Arizona every way imaginable and through everything imaginable.
She had loved her through hospital shootings and airport break-ups and car crashes and plane crashes and Leah Murpheys and Lauren Boswells and couples therapy. She had loved her through Africa flights and baby daddies and amputations… She had loved her so much and in so many ways that Callie had honestly thought there couldn't possibly be more.
More love. More ways.
But now, watching the blonde pediatric surgeon lie exhaustedly on the living room carpet, Sofia sitting cross-legged on her back…the love she feels blooming in her chest is unlike any other she's ever felt before.
It's warm and it's sweet and it's so incredibly earned.
Callie looks on affectionately as their daughter chatters excitedly about her day at school, and Arizona, despite her obvious fatigue, nods and hums, assuring Sofia that she is listening. This goes on for a while before both women decide it's about bedtime (and one pouty 5 year-old reluctantly complies). It doesn't take too long before Sofia is tucked in, and both women are in their room. Callie in the bathroom, prepping for nighttime. And Arizona sitting quietly on the edge of the bed, staring contentedly out of the window. She can't help but notice how the sky looks as if beaten into submission; black and blue, puffs of swollen clouds shadowing the moon. Today has been long. But good. Actually everyday has been pretty good since she and Callie began seeing each other again. Arizona takes off her prosthetic leg carefully, stroking her truncated limb as she props the prosthetic against the nightstand. The back to back surgeries really took their toll on her, and she can't help but groan at the steady throbbing feeling in her leg. Callie hears it immediately, pausing in her happy humming to look sympathetically at her lover.
"You know, I could help you with that," she offers gently, but Arizona simply shrugs. Even after all this time, it's still hard for her to open up about her weaknesses. And to her, the leg is a weakness.
"Arizona," Callie says quietly, walking out of the bathroom and slowly approaching the blonde. When she makes it to the side of the bed Arizona is sitting on, she crouches down, her wide brown eyes peering into the blonde's. "It's you and me remember. We're together …your pain is my pain." Arizona looks hesitantly at Callie for a moment, taking a couple of seconds before finally nodding in consent. Her uncertainty though soon melts into relief as Callie tenderly places a soothing palm against the amputated leg. The brunette smiles at her comfortingly, rubbing light circles over the discolored skin where Arizona's stitches used to be. After a moment, Callie's talented hand slowly slides up against the top of Arizona's thigh, squeezing the muscles gently. Arizona swallows hard.
"Is this okay?" Callie asks innocently, allowing her other hand to join the first atop Arizona's leg. The pediatric surgeon can only nod, watching dazedly as one of the brunette's hands begins stroking up and down her inner thigh. "Is it sore right here?" Callie questions, steadily stroking Arizona's thigh, the tips of her fingers unintentionally hitting the edge of the blonde's panties. Arizona clears her throat awkwardly.
"It's uh…it's okay." The answer comes out lame and stilted, her voice involuntarily going raspy. They haven't had sex since in a very long time. Of course, they've done other sexually pleasing things (making out, a little dry humping), but no sex. And honestly, it doesn't truly bother the blonde most of the time; she really likes spending time with Callie regardless of whether they're clothed. But in moments like this when Callie is touching her in a way that is so unbearably intimate, the no sex routine gets almost excruciating.
"Are you sure?" Callie questions, looking down at the woman's leg as she massages it a little harder. Arizona's eyes roll back involuntarily, her bottom lip coming to rest in between her teeth.
"I-I'm sure, Callie," she coughs out, finding the self-control to place her hand over the other woman's, stopping the massage. She doesn't want Callie to start something she won't finish. "T-Thank you," she stutters out breathlessly, squeezing the brunette's hand. Callie smiles at her widely, lifting up a little to kiss the blonde slowly on the lips. Arizona wraps her arms around the other woman, letting her tongue slip easily into her mouth.
"Mmm," Callie moans lowly as she pulls back slightly, her eyes half-lidded, "What do you say we have a good ole' make out session before bed?"
Arizona almost screams; she wants this woman so badly. "Absolutely." She makes herself rasp out before quickly pulling the other woman between her legs.
Two Days Later
For Lauren, walking into Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital feels like marching into her own crucifixion. Everyone is staring and whispering, their eyes glazed over with either distaste or infatuation. She wonders fleetingly if she is some infamous legend around here, if what she left in her wake was really that bad. She readjusts her purse awkwardly on her shoulder, uncomfortable with all the attention. She had been given instructions via email to meet Callie in her office, and now she'd have to deal with the glares from unfamiliar nurses on her walk to the receptionist desk.
"Hi," she smiles easily enough even as the other woman eyes her suspiciously, "Do you know where I can find Dr. Torres's office?"
The woman stares at her a moment, her expression morphing into one of confusion and slight disapproval. "So...you actually want to find Dr. Torres?" Lauren nods, and the nurse makes a weird face in response.
"You sure?" she asks, and Lauren can't help but laugh at this.
"Yeah I'm sure," she says and the nurse finally shrugs, raising her eyebrows in slight surprise before giving Lauren vague directions. The blonde tries to follow the nurse's instructions but ends up wandering around a bit before actually finding Callie's office. When she finally does, she knocks on the door lightly before pushing it open, finding the brunette sitting in her office chair reading something on her computer. Her brown eyes lift up quickly, narrowing slightly when they set on the craniofacial surgeon.
"Hello, Dr. Boswell," Callie says coldly, gesturing to the grey office chair across from her desk, "Dr. Avery will be here in a moment, and we'll go over the case."
Lauren nods tentatively before taking the offered seat. They sit there for a few awkward seconds, Callie staring blankly at the other woman and Lauren staring uncomfortably back. Finally the door opens, but it's not Avery who appears.
"Hey Calliop—" Arizona's happy greeting catches in her throat as she spots Lauren sitting in the her ex-wife's office chair. She'd almost forgotten that the blonde was due to come back today. Her eyes flick between both women for a second or two before she casually steps back out of the room. "I'll… come back another time."
Callie nods, and the blonde leaves immediately. Lauren's eyes linger a little on the door.
Arizona was the reason she came back to this hospital.
Well Arizona and the fact that she'd get to operate on a rare Tessier facial cleft.
But probably more so, Arizona. The first email Bailey had sent to Lauren had prompted the woman to go searching the pediatric surgeon again, the sudden desire to see the other blonde crackling in the woman's chest. She'd read an article that mentioned her divorce from Callie, and Lauren couldn't help but think she had something to do with it. It was a oddly satisfying thought.
"So you and Dr. Robbins are back on good terms?" She inquires, finally pulling her eyes away from the door. Callie tenses immediately, her arms crossing and her back rigid.
"Let's be professionals, Boswell." Her tone is cold but threatening, and Lauren instantly puts her hand up in placation. She really hadn't thought out the question before she asked…and seeing the looking on Callie's now, she definitely knew she crossed a line. "I'm sorry. I was just curious."
Callie's jaw visibly clenches as she leans forward into her desk a little. "Do us both a favor and keep your curiosity to yourself."
Lauren smiles awkwardly, leaning away from the obviously peeved Latina. "Okay."
It's a couple hours after her meeting with Callie and Jackson that Lauren decides she should finally eat.
She's about halfway to the vending machine when she spots the blonde doctor she's been thinking about all day, walking quickly into a storage closet. She hears Callie's warning playing quietly in the back of her mind, but as quickly as it appears, it is overshadowed by her own desire.
They're divorced. She has no control over Arizona anymore.
It takes a minute for her to work up her courage, an unfamiliar sense of fear sitting in her bones. She's never felt this nervous about pursuing a woman before. But she supposes isn't just any woman. Finally after another moment of contemplating, she follows after the blonde, breathing a happy sigh when she finally makes it to the storage room door.
Arizona is in the middle of searching for a tourniquet when she hears the door creak open and shut. At the familiar sound of a lock click, her body tenses deliciously, the thought of a midday make-out session with Callie dancing happily to the front of her mind. She pretends to continue looking for the tourniquet, waiting for the other woman to make her move. She hears a few quiet footsteps move up behind her and then just like that she's being spun around, soft lips pressed firmly into hers. Long slender arms wrap possessively around her hips, and she's quickly and hotly pulled into an unfamiliar body. She barely has time to gasp at the sudden contact before a wet tongue pushes excitedly into her mouth.
And honestly, all Arizona could think is 'This is not Callie. Oh my god, this is not Callie!' Her hands come up quickly, palms flattening against the stranger's chest before they push her harshly away.
Lauren stumbles back in surprise, her blonde hair swaying messily at the sudden force. "W-What the hell?" she coughs up, regaining her breath as Arizona just stares at her, fingers hovering fearfully over her own lips.
"Oh, fuck!" the blonde groans so fiercely Lauren steps back a little, feeling the need to give space. "Why would you do that?" The pediatric surgeon throws her hands up angrily, her eyes closing for a second as her body almost vibrates with exasperation.
"I just—what's the big deal? I thought you were divorced," Lauren states a bit dumbly, her eyebrows raised in confusion. She shuffles little, readjusting her lab coat awkwardly as the frustrated blonde glares daggers at her.
"Callie divorced me, sure, but she's still my wife!" Arizona huffs passionately, shaking her head before pressing her hands against her face in frustration.
"I… honestly have no idea what that means."
"It means that this," Arizona gestures between herself and Lauren, "Never happened."
Lauren quirks a confused, amused eyebrow. "But it did—"
"Nope."
"Arizon—"
"Never happened. Never will. Please just go."
Lauren stares at the other woman for a moment, her heart suddenly throbbing with an unexpected pain. What the hell? She's been turned down before (albeit not often). Why does this kinda sting? What the hell is this? She tries to shake the feeling away, instead leaning back on a much more favorable façade.
She tilts her head up, offering the other woman a forced, amused smirk. She'd rather seem cocky than disappointed. "I didn't think you guys were back together. I apologize." She tries to send the shorter woman a sincere look though her intentions are anything but.
Arizona simply nods in return, wiping her lips again as if to rid them of the other woman's taste.
"I'm serious…I uh-I think it's nice," Lauren shrugs, feigning nonchalance as she fingers the collar of her coat, "I'm glad you two are working things out…"
"Um, okay thanks."Arizona looks at her confused, awkwardly pushing her hands into her pockets.
"It's so different from the last time I was here," Lauren starts, suddenly eyeing the woman with a far-from-sincere gaze, "….you know, when we had sex."
"Um—"
Lauren laughs wistfully. "I know this isn't the same room but doesn't it bring back memories—"
"Stop," Arizona holds her hand up, embarrassed.
"Why? You don't like the memory? You sure enjoyed making it—"
"Leave." Arizona interrupts, pointing furiously at the door. She knows exactly what Lauren is doing.
"If you haven't been getting laid lately, Dr. Robbins" Lauren smiles in return, "I can help with that—"
"You know what I'll leave," Arizona cuts the other woman off, shaking her head in guilt and anger. "It was terrible seeing you again. Please let this be our last interaction."
Lauren chuckles quietly, hurt panging in her chest. This was so stupid; no lay was worth chasing after. And that's all Arizona is, Lauren asserts in the back of her mind, a fucking lay.
"Whatever, Dr. Robbins," Lauren says easily, waving sarcastically as the other woman pushes pass her to get to the door.
"And by the way, "the blonde turns around quickly, hand on the knob of the storage room door, "This never happened." Arizona repeats the statement coldly before leaving the room and the craniofacial surgeon completely.
It's a couple of seconds later before Lauren also exits the room, neither of the women notice the pair of light blue eyes watching them intently.
Arizona looks like a zombie. That's the first thing April notices when the blonde finally joins her at their usual lunch table. She watches quietly as the pediatric surgeon pushes around food on her tray, huffing every now and then as if suddenly remembering something upsetting.
April waits a few minutes before finally deciding to ask. "So uh…are you gonna tell me what's wrong?" Arizona looks up from her tray, her eyes widening as if surprised by April's presence.
"Nothing's wrong…" she says, offering the redhead a forced smile. April sees through it easily, narrowing her eyes at the other woman.
"Something is definitely wrong," she retorts bluntly, "You look like someone just killed your cow." Arizona furrows her eyebrow in confusion at the redhead.
"Cow?"
"Sorry, I grew up with a lot of farm animals."
Arizona smiles a little at this before going back to pushing her food around. It takes a few moments before she speaks again. "Lauren kissed me in the storage closet…"
April's eyes widen almost comically, and her hands come up to grip the edge of the table. "She did what?!"
"She just kissed me out of nowhere…She said she didn't know Callie and I were back together," Arizona scoffs a little, the dilemma resting heavily on her mind.
"And then you punched her right?"
Arizona laughs in surprise at the redhead before exhaling loudly. "No, I can't punch anyone. My hands are my paycheck."
April leans back in her chair, sighing too as she absorbs the information. The sit in silence for a few seconds before a question suddenly comes to the redhead. "So what did Callie say when you told her? I know she must have been pissed."
Arizona makes a face at her best friend, flicking her hand dismissively. "Callie is never going to find out about this…ever."
April looks at blonde like she's said the craziest thing imaginable. "Um, yes she is because you're going to tell her."
"Oh no, I'm definitely not. Callie's going to freak out," Arizona laughs humorlessly, shaking her head at the idea. April looks at her sympathetically for a moment.
"Arizona, Callie loves you. She'll understand."
"She loved me two years ago and that didn't stop her from divorcing me—"
"Arizona," April interrupts, giving the blonde a scolding look, "you have to tell Callie. If you don't, if you wait, it'll look like you have something to hide."
Arizona meets the redhead's gaze for a moment before looking away and shaking her head. "I don't want her to leave me again."
April looks at her best friend searchingly for a moment before finally raising her eyebrows as if something just dawned on her. "You're not over the divorce are you?"
It's phrased as a question, but it comes out more as a statement. Arizona simply furrows her brow.
"What are you talking about?"
"You think Callie's not over the cheating thing. And maybe she's not. But you definitely haven't forgiven her for the divorce."
"April, what?" Arizona laughs like the redhead's assertion is completely absurd, "I get why she left. I understand."
"You might understand it, but you are definitely not over it."
"Yes, I am."
"Then tell her Lauren Boswell kissed you," April says bluntly.
"What does that have to do with anything? The kiss meant nothing. Callie doesn't need that stress. She has to do surgery with the woman for god's sake."
April's eyes widen in disbelief, and she leans over the table a bit, scooting her tray up slightly, "You both are insane! I don't see how the two of you even work. She's always afraid you're going to cheat, and you're always afraid she's going to leave. It's ridiculous. Just talk it out!"
Arizona throws her hands up, leaning in also to whisper at the woman heatedly. "You take your own advice. You and Jackson don't talk about anything!"
April narrows her eyes at the woman before backing down a little and scoffing. "Jackson and I are different."
"How?"
"Because we're younger… a-and have no kids...and haven't been pining over each other for almost 10 years."
"Whatever," Arizona waves her hand dismissively, bringing a carrot up to her mouth. "You don't understand."
April sighs, making a face at her best friend. "Fine, think I don't understand…but eventually Arizona, you have to trust that Callie won't leave you…or you'll always be waiting for the other shoe to drop."
Arizona shakes her head, her blonde hair whipping across her face lightly. "Can we just eat lunch?"
April moves to protest but seeing the other woman's dejected face, she decides against it, figuring what the woman really needed was a change of subject.
So she lets it happen and soon enough they're in a deep discussion about the blonde's upcoming surgery.
The day goes by pretty quickly after that though Arizona takes great care to avoid Lauren at all costs. Callie takes about the same approach with the unwanted surgeon, giving and receiving direction mostly through Jackson. By the end of the day, both women are extremely happy to go home.
It's late.
It's really, really late by the time Callie and Arizona settle into bed, a reluctant Sofia already tucked in for the night.
They are both slightly aware of the fact that tomorrow, like most of their days, will probably be filled to the brim with sick patients. And hectic waiting rooms. And laborious surgeries.
The metallic smell of sterile operating rooms and bloodied scalpels.
Paperwork and red tape and times of death flowing in an endless torrent of work.
And they know, as of now, sleep is their friend. Sleep keeps them level-headed and effective and smart. And they should welcome it with open-arms and anticipation. Especially after the tedious day both of them have had.
But against all logical logic, they guard against it. They push it somewhere in between their plush pillows and comfortable bed sheets. Apathetically ignoring its beckons.
Yes, they can sleep, and they very well should.
But they don't.
The two women lie facing each other, their hands clasped somewhere in the space between them.
Their eyelids are droopy but unclosing even as their yawns become deeper and their words become slurred.
They don't sleep.
"How was your day?" Arizona inquires quietly, watching as Callie's brown eyes sag shut for a moment before slowly sliding back open.
The brunette glides her thumb back and forth against Arizona's hand, shrugging absently at the blonde's question. "I don't know," Callie says after a moment. Her eyes flick away in thought, and Arizona watches, sleepily enthralled in the way the moonlight spills messily atop Calle's skin. Ivory against caramel.
Beautiful.
"I think we made a lot of progress in Alan's case," Callie whispers softly, a lazy smile forming on her lips, "I mean, I dislike Lauren on general principle, but she's a pretty good surgeon. I feel like we'll be able to do the surgery in a few weeks."
"That's awesome," Arizona whispers back, smiling and squeezing the other woman's hand gently, "Everything's working out."
"Yeah…" Callie sighs contentedly, scooting closer to Arizona, her head now partially on the blonde's pillow, "Everything is perfect." She leans over, kissing the blonde slowly before pulling back.
"I almost forgot how good it was like just being with you like this…no fighting, no secrets…just us." Arizona smiles back a bit uneasily against cool fabric of her pillow casing.
"Yeah…no secrets."
A/N:How are you feeling?