She was soaring, gusts of wind threading through her hair like the gentle caress of her mother's fingertips stroking along her scalp. The sky was a soft, deep blue dappled with stars, the first streaks of silvery moonlight just barely beginning to peak out from behind a cover of feathery, pearl-gray clouds. It was colder up here, the billowing breeze tossing her hair wildly back and forth, filling her lungs with crisp, chilly air, cleaner than anything she'd ever experienced with her feet planted on the ground. Even so, she couldn't help letting out a bewildered, enraptured little laugh, the sound swallowed by the wind the very moment it fell from her lips. Beneath her, the ground swung dizzily below, a sea of treetops and rolling hillsides, so distant from her that it looked more like a painting than an actual landscape; the breeze caused her to dip momentarily downward and she drew in a sharp breath, mouth agape. When she regained balance, her expression melted into a beaming smile.
Only when she cast a downward glance did she realize how she'd gotten up this high to begin with. She was riding on the back of a long, lithe-bodied white dragon, fingers curled around the two smooth, slightly curved horns extending upward from its lupine face. The creature's blue mane was impossibly soft, like velvet where it tickled against her arms, and tossed freely to and fro in the wind. It flew at a steady and reliable pace, and yet, every now and then, it surprised her with a steep turn or an elaborate twist, all the while remaining as graceful and sure as a dancer. She gasped and leaned down, tightening her grip on the dragon's horns, hoping beyond anything else that it would be able to support her, and as she lowered her head, she caught a glimpse of its eyes. Though they were narrowed against the sheer force of the wind, she could tell that they were a striking, luminous green – and, more importantly, that they were so familiar to her.
"Wait a minute," she heard herself saying, and strangely enough, these words left her mouth clear and strong, rising even above the howling, blustery air. "I-I know you! Are you – are you Haku?"
She knew that he couldn't provide her with a proper answer, and yet, somehow she felt sure that she'd learned the truth. No sooner had she completed the last syllable of her sentence than did an inexplicable warmth spread through her body, the pit of her stomach swelling with a sudden onslaught of emotion. They'd been here before, she could feel it, and though her memories still remained cloudy and forbidden to her, she could understand all too well that this place, this moment, held some sort of great significance to the both of them. Tears sprang unbidden to her eyes, her throat descending into that unbearably familiar closed-up sensation that always came upon her whenever she felt as if she were going to cry; to prevent the tears from spilling forth onto her cheeks, she swooped downward and wrapped her arms around the dragon's neck, burrowing her face in the space between his horns.
"Please don't lose hope, Haku," she murmured, lifting a shaking hand to gingerly stroke the underside of his face. "I know I'm getting closer to remembering something. I promise I won't let myself forget about you, not ever. Just don't give up on me, okay?"
Everything around her seemed to fade in and out of focus, like an old photograph that had become blurred at the edges over a long period of time. The wind stilled, and her stomach dropped as Haku slowed in mid-flight and began to plummet to the ground. The earth below rushed up to meet them, and a scream tore from her throat, only to be swallowed by the night air roaring all around her. It seemed to take them an eternity to fall, but just as they began to break the surface of the trees several feet below, Chihiro woke with a jolt from the clutches of her dream, Haku's name still on her lips.
Chihiro's eyes flew open, wide, disoriented, and cloudy as she stared up at the ceiling to her bedroom, still drifting in the strange, faraway place between sleep and wakefulness. Deep breath in, deep breath out, she coached herself, her heart still pounding a wild and erratic drumbeat against her rib cage. Slowly but surely, the haze cleared from her mind like a bride lifting her wedding veil, and as her senses returned, she pulled herself lazily to a sitting position, legs still buried in pile upon pile of blankets. Every muscle in her body felt limp and exhausted, as if sleeping had drained her of energy rather than restored it. She pushed her fingers through her bangs, only to find that they were impossibly tangled and sweat-dampened from the intensity of her dream. Already, the images were beginning to fade from her memory, but just the thought of it sent a chill down her spine, nevertheless.
What could have possibly prompted her to dream such a thing? And, more importantly, why in the world had it left her so shaken? Other than the last few seconds, when they'd hurtled towards the ground, it hadn't really been a nightmare, yet now that she was lying awake in bed, she felt strangely unsettled. Could it be that she'd almost gotten one of her memories back, and the effort alone had left her weak and listless? She supposed that would be just one of many questions she would have to ask Haku today; that is, if he was still planning on meeting her this morning. She'd seen him fly off into the distance in the form of a magnificent white dragon last night – come to think of it, now she realized that this instance was likely what caused her to dream about flying on a dragon's back in the first place – so she wasn't necessarily certain if he would even still be at the bath house at this hour.
If Chihiro were being perfectly honest, she considered herself immensely fortunate that he seemed to have taken such a keen interest in her. She didn't know whether it was their past connection to one another that motivated him to look after her so faithfully, or if he simply saw something in her that she couldn't necessarily see, but she was grateful regardless. Just from what she'd gleaned yesterday, he seemed so aloof and distant where everyone else was concerned, and yet he'd spoken to her so kindly, looked at her with such patience in his eyes. Either he cared for her well-being a great deal or he was simply trying to pull her into some sort of elaborate trick; she certainly hoped that it was the former. He was the only true friend that she had here (Kamaji had seemed friendly enough, but she doubted he would be much help if she wanted to talk about personal things with him) and she would admittedly be quite devastated to see that relationship ended before it even had the chance to begin.
The screen door at the far end of the bedroom snapped open, immediately gaining Chihiro's attention. Her first instinct was to think of Haku, and how he'd promised that he would come back to find her in the morning, but when she looked up, the figure stepping in through the doorway was actually a young woman, a pile of fresh linens tucked under her arm. She was dressed in the very same style of bath house uniform that Chihiro had picked out for herself last night, but it seemed to fit her tall, willowy figure much better than it hung on the human girl's short and skinny frame. Her chestnut brown hair cascaded down around her shoulders like silk, gleaming soft and fine in the morning light streaming through the windows; she sported tousled bangs, and just underneath them, her brown eyes were wide with shock as they stared directly at Chihiro.
"What the –" she stuttered, her voice slightly lower-pitched than Chihiro expected, but still sultry even in her indignant surprise. After a moment, though, the woman's voice softened, gained almost an affectionate sort of expression as she gasped, "Sen? Is that you?"
She hardly got a chance to correct the stranger before she rushed towards her, giggling so loudly that Chihiro felt certain that whatever bath house workers that had been sleeping on the lower levels would be jarred awake by the sound. Before she knew it, she was swept up into a tight embrace, the woman's grip on her so tight that it brought Chihiro straight to her feet.
"Oh, you are kidding me!" she cried, sounding as thrilled as if she had just been reunited with a long-lost beloved relative. "I can't believe it! You're really here! You big dope, why didn't you tell me that you were coming back?" She pulled back from the hug now, still beaming as she rested her hands on Chihiro's shoulders, apparently not having yet registered the bemusement on her companion's face. A pang of guilt tugged at the center of Chihiro's chest; she did seem like a friendly person to be around, but could it be possible that she had her mistaken for someone else?
Swallowing hard, she shook her head, taking a step or two back from the bath house worker. "I-I'm really sorry," she stammered, hating it when she saw the brief instant of hurt and confusion flash across the woman's face, "but that's not my name. I'm Chihiro. I think you've got the wrong person." The stranger advanced a step forward, hand outstretched, and she instinctively flinched back, anticipating that she would be struck, but when nothing affronted her, she turned her gaze back to the woman before her and tacked on hurriedly, "I, uh . . . I don't want to be rude, but who are you?"
An instant later, she saw why the woman had been reaching for her in the first place. She placed her palm flat upon Chihiro's forehead, her eyes narrowed with a steadily growing suspicion. "Are you feeling okay?" she asked, tilting her head slightly to the side. "I mean, you couldn't have found your way back here if you didn't remember how to get here in the first place." After a moment's pause, she seemed to realize that she'd been asked a question, and she amended, "Oh, I'm Lin. Which you should already know. So . . . you really don't remember, I guess. Not anything at all?"
Chihiro shook her head again, frustrated beyond anything else that she seemed so robbed of answers to any of the myriads of questions fired her way. "I just got here yesterday," she explained – at least, to the best of her abilities with what little information she had available. "Uh – Haku said that there was some kind of block on my memories, and that's why I can't remember."
This didn't seem to please Lin – in fact, she only seemed more confused now than ever, furrowing her brow so intensely that Chihiro felt certain that the space between her eyes would wrinkle. "Haku said that?" she asked, sounding immediately and passionately skeptical. When she nodded her head in response, Lin pursed her lips and said, hesitating for a moment before saying, "Listen . . . about that guy—"
Before she was able to complete her sentence, the screen door slid noisily open once again, alerting them both to a newcomer in the room. Chihiro whirled around to see who stood in the doorway, once again anticipating that it would be Haku, returned from wherever it was he'd gone last night to come greet her as he'd promised. She couldn't disguise the visible slump of her shoulders when she realized that it was merely another bath house worker, this one significantly younger than both Lin and Chihiro, though she wore the same pink and white uniform.
"Come on, Lin," she called, sticking her head only briefly through the doorway before darting out once again, obviously in a hurry to get someplace. "We're working on the big tub today! Put that laundry down and hurry up!"
"Alriiiiight already!" Lin called after her fellow employee, hackles raised. Heaving an exasperated huff of a sigh, she turned her attention back to Chihiro once the other worker had left the room, her tone of voice as well as the look on her face resigned and weary. "Sorry. Looks like I gotta go for now," she explained, jabbing her thumb over her shoulder to indicate the doorway that the other handmaid had just come from. "But anyway, listen, I'll tell you everything later, if you want." Without waiting for an answer, she began to hurry for the door, leaving the clean laundry she'd brought into the room with her in a newly-crumpled heap on the floor.
"Uh – okay," Chihiro called after her, hardly able to keep a smile from her features even in spite of her confusion. Lin's energy was a thoroughly contagious one, and she was even more comforted by the fact that she had the most distinct feeling that they really had met once before; she imagined that it would be so pleasant to have a friend like that, especially in a place like this where confidantes seemed to be so sparse. "Bye, Lin!"
Lin turned around just long enough to wave in response. "See you later! Oh, and Sen?" she added, faltering for a moment and coming to a halt, looking genuinely serious and vulnerable, if slightly sheepish.
"Yeah?" Chihiro didn't feel it entirely necessary to correct Lin on her name; that part, she figured, would come later.
The barest traces of a smile found their way onto Lin's face, teasing at the corners of her full, pink mouth. "Don't you dare leave this time without saying goodbye, you got that?"
Sporting a rueful grin of her own, Chihiro gave a soft, thoughtful chuckle and said, "Sure thing."
With that, Lin went on her way, leaving Chihiro alone with her thoughts for practically the first time since she'd woken up this morning. Drawing a slow, deep breath, she shut her eyes and folded her arms neatly across her chest, as if she were trying to hold onto what little of herself she had left and keep it from spilling out and becoming lost to the wind, like it seemed that her memories had done. It was strange, she couldn't help but realize, just how much she'd thought she'd known about herself up until just yesterday, when she'd wandered unknowingly into this world that had apparently once been a home as well as a horror to her. Being here was like wandering through a dark and cloudy hallway, and every time she took a turn, she ended up going in a completely different direction than she'd originally anticipated. With any luck, her memories would return to her soon enough; she wasn't certain of how much longer she could take all this agonizing confusion.
It had been some time since she'd woken up this morning, and Haku still was nowhere in sight, so Chihiro sighed, resigning herself to a fate of staying in her room until either he appeared or she decided if it would be worth it to try and run for the tunnel once again. A frown slanting its way across her features, she sank to her knees once again and curled up on the flat mat she'd used as a bed, casting a quick glance out the nearest window before reaching out and hugging her legs, resting her chin on the crevice between her kneecaps. Already, she could feel the worry mounting within her; where was Haku? Had something happened to him to keep him from coming? Or had he just lied to her about showing up at all? Last night, he'd seemed like he genuinely cared about what happened to her, but she'd heard stories of people from fantastical worlds like this being notoriously deceptive and selfish. Perhaps he really had been tricking her all this time, stringing her along in his idea of a magnificent game.
Just as that deeply troubling thought had dared to enter her mind, the sound of a door sliding open at the opposite end of the room caught her attention. Chihiro gasped and whirled around, and sure enough, Haku stood there, having just arrived from the balcony entrance. He looked windswept but no worse for wear, though there was an undeniable weariness in his eyes that concerned her somewhere deep down. He glanced around cautiously for a moment, most likely ensuring that the room was empty, before he even saw her – and when he did, she couldn't help but notice that his facial expression seemed to lighten considerably. He remained unsmiling, as usual, but there was something imperceptible in the look on his face, something so distantly kind and reassuring, that she almost felt as if he didn't need to, anyway.
Immediately, she clambered to her feet, and if she weren't so excited to finally see him, it would have occurred to her to be embarrassed at her own clumsiness. When at last she stood upright, she cleared her throat and straightened out her clothing, striding quickly over to meet Haku where he stood by the door. "Haku," she said – or more like breathed in the mildest wonderment as she took in his appearance, thankful beyond anything that he was real, and not just something she'd managed to dream up. "Um – good morning."
"Good morning, Chihiro," was his polite – if slightly formal – response, coupled with the slightest little nod of his head. "I trust you slept well."
"Yeah, I did." She swallowed hard, determined to make no mention of the dream she'd had last night, of flying through the sky on the back of a dragon. "I'm really glad you're here," she admitted, cursing herself mentally when she felt the first telltale heat of a crimson blush blossoming across her face. "I thought for a minute there that maybe you weren't going to show up."
A rueful smile tugged at the corners of his mouth, disappearing as quickly as it came about. "I'm sorry that I kept you waiting," he said, "but I had a few matters of my own to attend to before I came for you this morning. I take it that you would still like to come along on a walk with me, though?"
Chihiro nodded, eyes wide and filled with trust. "Sure. Where exactly are we going?"
His smile returned in earnest this time, soft and tentative to match the thoughtfulness in his gaze. It was an expression that suited him, she thought, brought something to his eyes that took the edge off their steely gleam. He extended his hand directly in front of him, and when Chihiro followed his line of sight down to his slender fingers, she understood; reaching forward, she placed her hand within his own, surprised at how easily they seemed to fit together.
"Follow me."
The weather was pleasant this morning, the sky a crisp, bright blue stretching vast and endless above them, its placid smoothness marred only at the horizon by a few sparing brushstrokes of pearl-gray clouds. Though the sun had only just risen a few hours prior, it shone with bewildering clarity, warming the air just enough for comfort and keeping the humble – if slightly eerie – town just outside the bath house bathed in soft summer light. The breeze that blew was easy and unintrusive, tossing Chihiro's ponytail back and forth and even managing to tousle Haku's sleek hair just the slightest bit. If she pushed all her memories of yesterday and this morning to the side, she could almost imagine that she were on a vacation someplace secluded and slow-paced, with nothing awaiting her in the future but sunny skies and starry nights.
Haku's unwavering presence at her side was enough to dispel the illusion.
He'd been serious and silent on the way out of the bath house, a brooding element to the look in his eyes that either she hadn't noticed yesterday or hadn't been there at all. She thought it was weariness; since he'd flown away like that last night, it wouldn't be unreasonable to assume that he might have been out all night, though she couldn't say for what purpose. He seemed like the sort of person who would dutifully go about searching for something even if he didn't know what answer he sought, who would continue doggedly pursuing the questions that everyone else had ceased to ask. It was strange how moved she was by him, how much she wanted to know about him and who he was, when she'd only just met him yesterday.
Or, actually, they'd apparently met once before – she kept forgetting to add that into the equation.
"We're almost there," he informed her, startling her out of her musings. It was the first time he'd addressed her at all since they'd left her bedroom earlier; the further away they got from the bath house, the more he seemed to relax beside her, the more willing he became to open up, if only in fractional amounts. "Just a short distance more until we arrive. You have never seen this place before, Chihiro – I think you'll be very interested to see it."
She wanted to bring up the fact that right now, she couldn't remember ever seeing any place in this world, but she held her tongue; Haku had been so kind to her since she'd come here, and she wouldn't want to reward his efforts for her sake with unnecessary sarcasm.
"Really?" was her response instead, and she had to admit that she was genuinely curious. Part of her wished that he didn't have to be so enigmatic all the time, that he could just come clean and tell her where on Earth they were headed. "Is that where you went after you came to see me last night on the balcony?"
Her question elicited a chuckle – quiet and short-lived, but there nonetheless – from Haku. "No," he replied, gazing at her from the corners of his eyes as they strode over the bridge, still side-by-side. "Though that does have something to do with where we're going today."
They fell into silence again, though this one was significantly less strained than the last. No sooner had they completed their walk over the bridge than did he take her gently by the arm, guiding her along as he turned abruptly to the left. She stumbled after him, and when she got her bearings, she could see that they were walking along a secluded dirt pathway that she hadn't even noticed when she'd first arrived here yesterday afternoon.
Yesterday afternoon . . . it's been that long already. I wonder what Mei and the others are gonna do . . . or if they even know I'm gone.
Chihiro shook her head as if to will away that unnerving thought, forcing herself to focus instead on her walk with Haku. The walkway he was leading her down sloped down a long hill, and they strode so far that soon enough, when she glanced back over her shoulder the bath house was merely a looming shadow in the distance. Just when it started to seem as though they'd been walking for an eternity, he stopped short – they'd finally arrived at their destination.
They stood in front of a small outcropping of rock, just about to enter the gaping mouth of a humble little cave. Chihiro couldn't see all the way through to the inside – just an inky blackness where the cave began and nothing but darkness after that. Fear gripped her, and again she entertained the terrifying notion that perhaps she'd placed her trust in Haku far too preemptively, throwing a quick and newly wary glance in his direction to see if he would possibly explain. He seemed relatively unfazed, and when he caught her gaze, he extended a hand to offer her the opportunity to step forward first.
"This way," he indicated, advancing a step towards the cave's entrance. "Don't worry; it isn't nearly as dark inside as it looks from here." He must have sensed her insecurity, because his words had the effect of bestowing an almost immediate sort of calm upon her – it seemed like he always knew just what to say, especially to her.
Chihiro nodded, strengthening her resolve, and without further stalling, took her first tentative step inside. The change in the air was immediate and obvious, the arid, balmy breeze outside extinguished in favor of a colder, damper atmosphere. She could hear water dripping in pinging rivulets from the cave ceiling, and in the dark the sound was more intimidating than she might have anticipated, but she continued forward, nonetheless, knowing that Haku was right behind her. And he hadn't been lying to her; the farther along she walked, the more her eyes adjusted to the lighting and she realized that it wasn't nearly as impossible to navigate as she'd thought. She breathed a sigh of relief, trailing one hand along the wall to keep her balance, until at last it seemed they'd arrived where Haku wanted them to go.
They stood in the cave's atrium now, and it didn't take her long to realize what he'd wanted to show her. The walls that surrounded them on all sides glowed a brilliant, pulsating blue, and at the far end of the room, there was a massive, rushing waterfall, coupled with a small body of water just underneath. From this angle, she couldn't tell exactly what it was, but the water seemed to have something in it – little blue orbs, twinkling as if they were stars that had been scraped from the sky and tossed here instead. She could practically feel the tingle of magic in this place, raising the downy-light hairs at the back of her neck.
When she could hear Haku's footsteps drawing up closely behind her, she gasped and whirled around to face him. "It's – it's beautiful!" she gasped, shaking her head in thinly-concealed awe. "What is this place, Haku?"
If she wasn't mistaken, she thought she saw the first traces of amusement gleaming in his eyes. "A hot spring," he explained, gesturing to the gorgeous scene just off to their right, "whose waters contain healing properties. We've come to this cavern for many years to harvest ingredients for our own bath formulas."
Chihiro nodded, immediately comprehending; the more she thought about it, the more aware she became of the humidity pouring in waves off the water nearby – she couldn't believe that she hadn't noticed that this place was a spring until he'd mentioned it. For a few fleeting seconds, the thought occurred to her that Haku must have taken her here for a reason, and she'd yet to figure out precisely what that was. She supposed that the sight alone was gorgeous and deeply moving, but surely he had a purpose in bringing her here beyond that? It didn't take her long, however, to realize that perhaps this had something to do with the block placed upon her memories, and the restorative draught she would need to brew in order to get them all back.
"Do you think that whatever's in this water will help me remember everything that happened before?" she asked, fingers nervously straying to clutch onto the hem of her shirt as she spoke. I hope I'm right – I just . . . I just want to remember.
Haku nodded, taking her hand and slowly beginning to guide her over to the water's edge. "I think it may have something to do with that, yes." As they drew closer to the bank of the spring, he came to a halt, pausing for just long enough to retrieve something from the deep pocket just within his tunic. "Do you see this?" he said as he withdrew what he'd been looking for – a slightly-crumpled sheet of paper, folded over four times. Chihiro nodded, and as if prompted by this gesture alone, he unfolded the paper, revealing to her what appeared to be a set of instructions.
"What is that?" she asked, leaning forward curiously in order to read the untidy scrawl meandering across the page. "It looks like some kind of recipe."
"That's precisely what it is," he confirmed, passing her the paper to allow her to more easily read its contents. "For a restorative potion. I got this information directly from the one who placed the block upon your memory, so with any luck, this will tell us exactly how to get them back."
I'll be able to get them back, Chihiro thought, half in awe and half exhilarated with the idea. All of them. "And then I'll finally be able to remember you," she pointed out, unable to keep the thrill she felt from coloring her tone of voice.
If this statement touched or otherwise affected Haku, he barely let it show upon his face, the startling green of his eyes brightening for just a moment as a smile threatened to break his calm façade. When he had rearranged his features into their usual mask of placid control, he nodded and replied, "I certainly hope so." He allowed only the briefest pause before leaning forward slightly, gesturing with his index finger to the floating orbs effervescing beneath the water's surface. "Do you see those?" he asked her, and, prompted by the nod of her head, he continued, "We need one of them in order to make the restorative draught, according to the instructions."
"What are they?"
Before he chose to answer her, he reached for her hand, his touch cool where his fingertips brushed against the palm of her hand. A moment of silence passed between them before Chihiro relaxed and returned his grip, not for the first time finding a strange level of safety and security just in the simple action of holding his hand. They advanced a few steps closer to the water's edge before Haku sank into a slow, easy crouch, and Chihiro followed suit, the spray of the hot spring reaching her face from this angle, showering her in a fine, warm mist. From here, the glowing balls of light bobbing just below the water's surface were even more magnificent, their luminescence casting blue shadows across Haku's pale features.
"As far as I am aware, no one has ever given them a real name," he told her at last, "but in waters such as these, they're fairly common. River spirits, especially, are known to make use of them, and to bestow them as gifts to humans that have pleased them – though they usually look much different in those cases."
A quick flash of a memory passed through her mind, teasing her into believing that it might be tangible, accessible, and yet disappearing the minute it came about – a brief glimpse of a colossal wave of bath water, the whispered phrase "Well done," a soft, round, green object sitting in the palm of her hand. Chihiro reached for more, desperate to learn of the time she'd once spent in this bath house, but it was gone, irretrievable for now until who knew when.
Shaking her head as if to clear away the troubling ghost of that thought, Chihiro turned her attention to Haku and said, "So, how many do you think we'll need?"
"Just one should suit us in this case," he responded, the familiar kindness that he seemed to reserve just for her shining bright in his eyes. "Would you like to do the honors? Catching them is very simple – just stick your hand beneath the water and search until you find one that is cold to the touch. Those are the kind that we need; they are strong, but not so much that their magic would ever overwhelm you."
Chihiro nodded, though she had to admit, she was somewhat hesitant. She had no idea what these things could do, after all, and though she usually believed that the best way to learn was through firsthand experience, she couldn't help but feel reticent in this particular situation. Undoubtedly, she trusted Haku – he'd been kinder to her than anyone else since she'd gotten here, and somehow she just felt that she was well looked-after so long as he was beside her – but the shimmering orbs floating there before her were more difficult to believe in. His instructions had seemed simple enough, and yet still she feared that there was something she could do to mess even that up beyond repair.
For the sake of her lost memories, she would have to try.
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Chihiro leaned slightly forward, at last reaching out her hand and submerging it beneath the placid surface of the water. The temperature of the hot springs wasn't actually unbearably warm – in fact, it was downright tepid, compared to what she'd expected. In no time at all, one of the orbs brushed against her fingertips, and yet that one was not the kind she needed – it was unmistakably hot to the touch, even warmer than the water itself, and she flinched from it immediately, frightened that it might scorch her palm otherwise. A few more passed by, but these too were warm – by the time she found one that was cold, her fingers had just begun to brush against the spring's silty bottom. She gasped, elated to have found one at last, and enclosed the orb tight within her fist . . .
And with a sharp electrical jolt through her entire body, everything went black.