Episode 6.5
The Cursed Conscience
by Maddy

It's been four days since Jade arrived and unceremoniously became a member of Team Angel. That's what Angel is calling it anyway, the others wouldn't be too happy to hear about the name. So he was happily keeping it to himself.

Jade was…besides being a quick learner, was extremely secretive of her past. She only spoke about her brother and her life since the war began. Faith has taken to her dramatically, she watched over the young Slayer, taught her how to perfect certain moves and even slept in the same room.

The last thing isn't so impressive considering that the Slayers were in one room and Angel, Gunn, Spike and Connor were in the other room.

For the moment the Hyperion wasn't stable enough to live in. But Angel is hoping that will change, already they had cleared out the ground floor of the debris and demon and human remains. The young Slayers didn't handle the remains part too well. Sarah is still bringing up how sick it made her feel. They mostly ignore her whining. Bri, though, she did throw up. Poor kid.

Jade handled the grossness of the clean up particularly well. That accomplishment brought out her childish side; she teased Sarah and Bri for being squeamish. Jade, ever since meeting the group, has been friendly enough. But if any of them delve into her past, she puts up the walls. Angel and the others understand, but it's hard being around someone 24/7 if they don't want to talk to you.

Connor has been staying with them, Angel couldn't be happier that his son was safe. Well, not too happy. Connor spent much of his time training Jade, and also talking to Jade. They seem to have formed a nice friendship. That's one good thing that has happened; at least Jade believes she has someone. We all need someone.

It was two hours after dusk. Connor and the young Slayers have gone patrolling. Angel had his reservations about letting them go out alone, but it was something that the Slayers need to do straight away: learn to defend themselves by themselves. This war is serious, they need to know that as soon as possible and understand that Angel, Spike, Gunn or Faith wasn't always going to be there to protect them. It was a hard lesson to learn and it won't be learned straight away.

Angel and Spike are vampires and the Slayers now know this startling fact. It was explained to them slowly and every few words from Gunn were: 'but he's not evil.' It made Angel feel very self-conscious. After Bri's insistent requests to see his vamp face, Angel relented. It was also Jade's first encounter with demon visage. They all couldn't stress enough that Angel and Spike were the only good vampires and all they needed to worry about with the others was how to kill them without getting killed themselves. Bri loved how the two vampires faces looked different and spent over five minutes pointing them out to everyone present.

Gunn was keeping watch outside of the building and Angel was in the room resting, or at least trying to.

Bri ran into Angel's room. "We-" she stopped for air. "Need you-" Another breath. "To come-" Another breath. "Here."

"What's wrong?" he asked sitting up.

"Nothing."

"What? Then why do you-"

"Faith said," Bri interrupted the vampire. "That you needed to come to the Hotel, something about dealing with your issues."

"Dealing with my what?"

Bri backed away with both her hands up. "I didn't say it, she did. Maybe this is one of your issues."

Angel shook his head, "I'd like to know what you're talking about."

"Maybe you think you don't have any issues," she said with a shrug. Bri smiled politely then walked out of his room. Angel starred at where she had been standing.

Of course I have issues, I'm a walking issue. But what issues am I supposed to work through by going to the Hotel?

Gunn came into the room as Angel was putting on his shoes. "So are you going?"

"To where?"

"The Hotel, Bri's out there blabbing a million miles a minute. That girl needs to cut back on whatever meds she's on. Or maybe she needs to get on something."

"Gunn, she's fifteen-years-old. Isn't this what they're normally like?" asked Angel getting up and straightening his clothes.

"Jade isn't like her at all. Have you seen them together?"

"Who?" Angel's patience was running out. He had somewhere to be, or at least that's what people have been saying to him.

"The Slayers, not including Faith, they aren't getting on too well. Jade and Bri have their girly moments…but Sarah. Na ah."

Angel was disheartened by this news. He hasn't been paying much attention to the young Slayers. Aside from the odd observation and general things, he didn't know much about them.

It makes it easier. Being separate from them and their lives, I know what the life of a Slayer is like. How painful, hard and fast it is. How quickly it will end. How violently. Getting close to them means losing them.

"That's a shame. They need each other."

"Maybe Faith can do some bonding thing with them."

Angel nodded. "I'll tell her when I get there. Do you want to come?"

Gunn shook his head, "Too many memories, man."

Angel understood, too many memories for me, too. Maybe that's part of Faith's therapy plan. "I'll see you when I get back. Tell Connor where I am when he gets back. Come and get me if they're not back by dawn."

"Will do." Gunn agreed, Angel opened his mouth to speak. "And I'll make sure the Slayers go to sleep. Sarah's gonna want to kill them. You've heard them at night, right? Talking and giggling for hours, it's lucky I even got to sleep."

Angel chuckled. "Spare some thought for the guy with supernatural hearing."

"Faith, Spike…you still here?" asked Angel as he walked into the lobby of the destroyed Hyperion Hotel. "Hello!"

"Hey," greeted Faith coming down the stairs. The stairs leading right were intact; the ones on the left however were not. "I half thought you wouldn't come."

"Bri can be very convincing."

"Nah," Spike came into view and followed Faith down the stairs. "Bri just talks a lot, it's better to just agree and shut her up."

Faith chuckled. Angel however was starring intently at the brunette Slayer. She seems to be having a good time, becoming whoever she wanted to be. I couldn't be more proud of her. In the years I have known her she has gone from feeling unappreciated, to being evil, to wanting revenge, getting some revenge and then wanting redemption. Angel was determined to help her in any way he could and help her become the woman she wanted to be.

"We're gonna head back. If you're not back by dawn, I'm coming to find you." Faith said. It was now an unwritten rule: if you're not back by dawn we're coming to find you.

"No problem." He said, looking nostalgically around the lobby and surrounding areas. Faith nodded and her and Spike made their way towards the front doors. "Spike!" Angel called out to his fellow vampire. The bleached blonde stopped and turned to face Angel. "Take care of them until I get back."

"Will do, mate."

Angel walked up the stairs; he felt the memories fall onto his shoulders, his back and his heart. So much has happened within these walls, to sum them up in a few hundred words wouldn't even begin to tell the stories, the individual stories of all the people and demons that have resided in or attacked the hotel and it's occupants.

Cordelia, Fred, Wesley, Lorne… It pained him beyond words that Gunn and himself were the only survivors from the old days of running the agency and living in the hotel. All his friends were gone, dead or simply disappeared. Connor was back in his life, but Angel didn't expect his son to start calling him "Dad" and asking for advice on girls. It wouldn't happen and it definitely couldn't anymore. The war that he started by challenging the Circle of the Black Thorn wasn't going to be stopped in a matter of months, this war could possibly be fought for years and it would involve many humans. Humans that before eleven days ago had no idea demons even existed.

Even since being cursed with a soul, Angel has learned much about guilt and remorse, until Buffy came into his life – and into his heart – he also learned about redemption: that he could be redeemed for his past actions. Shanshu meant more to him than Spike, to Spike it was like a trophy after a long race, but to Angel it was so much more. The other vampire could never understand.

He pushed open the door to his old room, as the door swung open the 250 year-old vampire began to cry.

---

"Angel's back!" yelled Bri as he walked through the front door of the building. He didn't want to think of it as their home or even as theirs. That way of thinking lead to guilt and brooding.

"Hey," the vampire said walking past the young Slayer. Bri smiled widely and followed him into the back room. "How was patrolling?"

"Great! Connor is really good. He went to get some more food."

"Okay."

"Hey, man," greeted Gunn, Angel nodded in response. "Where's Faith and Spike?"

This surprised Angel, "They're not here?"

"No, they haven't come back from the hotel."

"They left when I got there. Faith said something about leaving me alone."

"Did it help?" asked Bri from behind. Angel turned to look at the girl, she seemed genuinely interested and Angel could tell, he was after all, a 250 year-old vampire. "Being alone, I mean. Faith and Spike were talking about your issues."

"They were."

"Well, I was eavesdropping," she said sheepishly. "It was pretty fun. Listening and not being noticed. Is that a Slayer thing?"

"I don't know, you tell me," Angel chuckled. Sarah and Jade entered the room bickering about techniques. Jade and Sarah didn't get along, their opinions about many things conflicted. Slaying was the main one.

"You only found out you were a Slayer four days ago; I refuse to take your advice about something I have been trained in for a year."

"Don't be a British snob."

"I can't change where I was born and brought up."

"Fine, don't be a snob then," Jade bit back, she glared at the older blonde with such contempt that it surprised all in the room. Except for Sarah, who gave Jade a similar look. There was something going on here.

"God, what is your problem?" said Bri, asking the question Angel wanted to ask. "We're Slayers. We're supposed to be in this together."

"And I thought we were meant to be nice," countered Jade.

"Says who?" Bri took a step towards Jade, her hands placed firmly on her hips.

"We help people don't we? I mean, that makes us nice, doesn't it?"

The room fell silent. No, it doesn't make you nice. Nothing but you can determine who you are, having 'powers' is just that. It is not your abilities that make you a nice person. Angel thought of using Faith as an example, but it was not up to him whether or not she wanted the younger Slayers to know of her past.

"Doesn't it?" asked Jade again, her voice getting desperate. "Doesn't it?"

"No, Jade. It doesn't."

She took that in. Angel continued talking, "Being a Slayer still means you're a person, human. It's the same with having a soul, I have one and you have one. But so does a serial killer. We are the good guys, the white hats…champions. We fight the bad guys-"

"Why do we? Why can't we just…pretend that we don't know about it anymore?"

"Because, can you honestly say that you would be able to turn your back on it? You have the strength and the skill to save lives and kill demons. What would you do if you walked past an alleyway where a demon was attacking a person? Would you keep walking or would you help, knowing that you can?" Jade didn't answer, Angel walked up to her and the young blonde looked away. "Jade, what would you do?"

She opened her mouth and made some inaudible sounds. Angel prompted her to answer. "I would help."

"That makes you a nice person," he said softly. She looked up and smiled gratefully.

"Thanks. I'm going to rest." She walked past them into the girls' room and closed the door behind her. Bri chewed the side of her mouth before quickly following. Sarah, however did not join her sister Slayers, instead she leant against the wall. Angel, a bit harshly, thought Sarah would start complaining that the wall was dirty and step away. She didn't and Angel was glad to have been proved wrong.

He starred at the door to the girls' room. He was worried about Jade, and Bri and Sarah. Something was telling him that it was Jade he had to be most worried about, though. Not because she can't defend herself, but…it couldn't out his finger on it. Maybe it was because she has suffered more emotionally then the other Slayers – excluding Faith – and she was young.

Connor entered the building carrying a few bags full of food. He greeted Angel and set the bags down on the table.

"Got any blood?"

.END.