Episode 6.9
Today's Gift
by Maddy

"Yesterday's the past, tomorrow's the future, but today is a gift. That's why it's called the present" – Bill Keane.

May 2003.

The phone was ringing, but Sarah knew not to answer it. That's what servants are for. The phone was answered almost straight away; Sarah couldn't hear the conversation, except for a few muffled sounds of Lillianne talking to the person on the other end.

Sarah refocused her attention on the book in her hands: Jane Austin's Emma. It wasn't her personal favourite Austin book, but she read it at least once a year. Sarah had a passion for literature.

"Miss Roberts!" called Lillianne. Sarah put her book down on the table next to her, left the antique armchair and walked out of the downstairs study. "Could you get your mother?"

"Sure." Sarah checked the grandfather clock in the hallway. At this time of day her mother would be in her office upstairs working very hard on rebuilding the Watcher's Council.

Her mother was one of the Watchers who survived the attack from the First due to not having a potential of her own. Elizabeth Roberts was in her early forties, extremely wealthy thanks to her first husband, Sarah's father, and a workaholic.

Sarah knocked on the door to her mother's office. "Come in." called Elizabeth, Sarah turned the doorknob and entered the room. The curtains were drawn; this troubled the teenager. It's the middle of the day for crying out loud!

"Sarah, what is it?"

"There is someone on the phone for you." Sarah nodded towards the extension on her desk. "I don't know who it is."

"Very well, I could use a break."

Sarah nodded again and left the room as quickly as she came. A break? A phone call isn't a break, having a relaxing cup of tea in the conservatory is a break. Her mother had long forgotten what a break was. Ever since Sarah's father died four years ago, Elizabeth had become even more engrossed in the Watcher's Council daily operations. She lobbied hard to have her own potential Slayer and when Daniella was charged in her care, Sarah hoped that the obsession would reside. It didn't.

Daniella died in a car accident a year ago with her mother and father in the car. They all died. A school friend of Sarah's said at the time: "That's the best way to go; with your family. That's how I would want to die, at least you wouldn't be left behind."

Sarah couldn't disagree more. Her stepfather was a Lord, he spent most of his time in London doing whatever is it Lords do. Her mother was distant, unloving and cold. Sarah didn't want to die like one big happy family. She didn't have one.

Sarah went back to the study and resumed her reading. Ten minutes later her mother walked into the room, with a look of sheer pride.

"What is it?"

"Four days ago, the Slayer and her friends saved the world. They cast a spell that has rewritten Slayer history forever. From now on every girl in the world who could be a Slayer will be a Slayer. Every potential is now a Slayer…there are no potentials anymore. Just hundreds, maybe thousands of Slayers." Elizabeth stopped talking for a moment; Sarah was surprised at how emotional her mother was behaving.

"I'm happy for you, this means you will have a-"

"Four days ago, you broke the French doors in the dining room."

"I know, I already said I was sorry and I offered to pay for the repairs, but you-"

"You're a Slayer." Elizabeth smiled at her daughter for the first time in years. It made Sarah's stomach turn.

"I'm a what?"

---

July 2004

"I'm a Slayer. I know what I'm doing!" Briana snapped at Sarah. So am I,Sarah thought. "I don't need you following me around."

"Angel said you and I have to stick together."

"I know; I was there for the 'we need to build trust' speech. It was boring. He repeats himself sometimes and have you noticed how similar his speeches are to Buffy's? Big with the melodrama."

"They're heroes. It's what they do."

"Since when did you become an expert on heroes?"

"Since I met some." Sarah slowed as they reached the corner of the apartment building the Morris family occupied. Angel was inside saying goodbye because the Morris' were finally getting out of LA. Sarah wished she could join them.

Before Sarah became a Slayer, she dreamed of going to America and visiting Los Angeles and New York. When she arrived with her Watcher two days after the war began, she instantly regretted that dream. Los Angeles was but a shell of its former self.

"I wonder why Faith and Spike don't give those type of speeches?"

"Because they don't give any speeches." Sarah answered. "Now, be quiet."

"Right. Sorry."

Angel had entrusted the young Slayers with the job of helping him escort the Morris family to the city limits. Sarah was very pleased to have this job. Jade was with Connor and Gunn patrolling the area surrounding the Hyperion Hotel. Spike and Faith were patrolling the industrial section.

Sarah wondered if the others suspected that the relationship between the bleached vampire and the brunette Slayer might not be platonic.

Once Sarah reached the corner, she stopped and peered around the building and looked down the alleyway. It was covered in complete darkness.

"Do you see anything?"

"Shh."

"Right. Sorry."

"You said that before," Sarah reminded the fifteen year old. "No, I don't see anything. It's dark."

"That doesn't mean there's nothing there."

"Precisely."

"Okay." Bri attempted to walk past Sarah, but she grabbed her by the arm. "Let me go."

"Angel said we had to stop here. We're just meant to patrol the front side. No exploring, it is dangerous, you know."

"I know. I have eyes that are working."

"So do I. Do you want to know what I see?"

"No, not really," Briana said under her breath. Sarah heard, but decided to ignore it.

"I see a dark alleyway. Alleys are notorious for being the place for many vampire attacks. Why do you want to go into the dark, and possibly demon infested, alleyway?"

"Because I'm a Slayer."

"No, because you're crazy."

"I am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are – I'm acting like a child," Sarah chided herself.

"You are one."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Be quiet. You're going to get us killed. That's a great plan."

"We won't die. With Angel around nothing will happen to us."

"You have got to be joking! Angel, Gunn and Spike are the only survivors. Everyone else has died. Angel was around and they still died. He won't be able to protect us. We have to protect ourselves."

"I think the melodrama is contagious."

"I'm not a hero."

"I never said you were."

Sarah sighed; she wanted to be a hero. Too many people expected so much from her. It wasn't fair, but it was all she knew.

"Okay, let's go down the alleyway."

Bri smiled brightly and took the lead. I have a bad feeling about this.

---

"You're a Slayer." Her mother repeated.

"I can't be. You had the Council do those tests on me years ago, I wasn't recognized as a Slayer." And it broke your heart.

"Well, the tests were wrong. You are a Slayer whether you like it or not. You're a warrior now. A hero. A Slayer."

"This doesn't make any sense."

"I told you about the spell. You're a Slayer now, what's there not to understand?"

She knew how it happened to her, but she didn't understand why. Sarah was ultimately a nobody; she had no ties to the supernatural world except through her mother. And her mother was no one special either. Sarah's grandfather was a Watcher and her great-grandfather was the Head of the Watchers Council. But no one special. No powers or fighting abilities.

She couldn't be a Slayer. She didn't want to be.

"I don't care," Sarah voiced her opinion.

"I do. Rupert Giles was the one who called, you remember him don't you?"

Sarah nodded. Mister Giles visited them often before he was needed in Sunnydale. Sarah liked him very much and missed talking to him about English literature. Her mother only ever wanted to talk about demons, Slayers or the Council.

"He wanted to come here personally to give us the good news."

Is it? How can fighting demons that want to kill you be a good thing?

"Oh, okay."

"Do speak properly, Sarah," Her mother scolded. "Just because you're a supernatural being doesn't mean you are better than anybody else."

"I never said I was," she said angry with her mother for…everything. For being her mother, for being distant, for being obsessed with the Council and for being happy that her only child will die an early death.

"But you were thinking it."

"No, I wasn't."

"It's going to your head already. You never argue."

"I need to rest." Sarah pushed past her mother.

"Don't be too long, a representative from the Council will be here within the hour."

Sarah frowned and turned to face her mother. "Why?"

"You're going to move to Rome. The training facility is being set up there as we speak. You will be trained by Buffy Summers herself."

"What? Rome. Today. I can't go, I have friends here and Andrew's here and I have school. Why are you sending me away?"

"Because you are a Slayer. You don't know what this means to me-"

"No, I think I do." Sarah's face contorted in anger. "You're happy. You will be remembered, forever, as being the mother of a Slayer. You're proud."

"Yes, I am."

"But not of me. You're proud of yourself. I am not a product of you."

"You are my daughter."

"Melissa's mother treats me more like a daughter than you. I don't know you. Maybe I never did."

Elizabeth Roberts never looked more terrifying. Sarah did her best to not look afraid.

"I am your mother and you will not speak to me in that manner," she said calmly. "Now," Elizabeth Roberts took a few steps towards her daughter. "You will go to your room and pack your things. I'm not sure how long you will be staying in Rome. But if need be, I will have money sent to you."

"But-"

"This is not a discussion. Go. Now."

---

The alleyway was dark before they entered it. Sarah thought it was even darker now they were in it. Bloody Bri, why am I listening to her?

The ground crunched beneath Sarah's shoes. She tried her hardest not to make any noises, but it was difficult. I'm going to kill Bri. That is unless something kills me first.

Bri didn't seem to mind walking blindly into a dark alleyway. She kept her guard up as instinct would dictate, but obviously Sarah and Bri's instincts were saying different things about the alleyway. The dark and possibly demon infested alleyway.

"We should go back," whispered Sarah. Briana stopped suddenly and Sarah nearly ran into her.

"Are you afraid?" asked Briana turning to face the older girl.

"No. But we aren't very prepared. All we have is a stake each."

"Yes, it's what we use to kill vamps. Get with the program."

"How do you know there are any vampires down here?"

"Can't you feel them?"

"Feel them? What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?"

Sarah couldn't see Briana's face, but the silence said it all. I don't feel the vampires when they're around. Does Bri, or is she just tricking me? What does it mean because I don't?

"What are you two doing here?" asked Angel stepping from the shadows. "I thought I told you to stay at the front of the building."

Oh, bloody hell.

---

Sarah Roberts was only seventeen years old when she became the Slayer. She knew that many Slayers were younger than that when they were called, but she didn't care about other Slayers. She cared about herself.

She pushed open the door to her room, tears streaming down her young face. Young. Am I still young? Does being a Slayer make me automatically older? Not older in years, but just…older? She didn't want to be older.

On her nightstand sat among other things, a photograph of herself and Andrew. He was her boyfriend. Andrew was only four months older than Sarah, she didn't know if she loved him. She wasn't sure what love felt like. But Andrew was a wonderful person, he was kind, decent, caring…loving. He made her laugh and when he kissed her; she didn't want to be anywhere else in the entire world.

Maybe I do love him.

The photo was of them sitting on a bench at school, his arm was slung over her shoulders. Both were smiling broadly. It was only taken last month, look how much as changed in the past five minutes. Imagine what will happen if I go to Rome for months on end. What will happen to us? Will Andrew and I be able to survive this?

The tears continued to flow while she packed. Her clothes, CD's, books, movies and toiletries went into the two suitcases she kept in her wardrobe. Not everything could be taken; she wanted to take it all. No, that wasn't right. She wished she didn't have to go in the first place.

An hour later, there was a knock on the door. Sarah starred at her full suitcases. Would they let me say goodbye to my friends? She wondered. No, probably not.

"Miss Roberts." Said Lillianne as she knocked on the door to Sarah's room.

"Come in."

"Oh, Miss Sarah." Lillianne rushed at the young girl and hugged her fiercely. "Don't worry, you'll come back to us."

"Will I?" Sarah asked as her held the servant close to her body. "Slayers die all the time. Now that there's hundreds, maybe they'll die everyday."

"I don't believe that. You're not meant to die. It's not your destiny."

Sarah stiffened and pulled away. "You don't know my destiny. I don't even know it."

"You'll be a hero." Lillianne said softly as she reached out and touched Sarah's face. "You won't die. You're going to save people, maybe even the world one day. Imagine that, you saving the world."

She couldn't imagine it, but nodded and smiled anyway.

"Goodbye, Lillianne."

---

"I told you to stay at the front of the building." Angel was pretty angry. He hadn't stopped pacing since they got back to the Morris' home. No, it's not their home. They used to live someplace else before the war started. Maybe it was a nice house, maybe it wasn't…it was still home to them.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again."

"You're damn right it won't."

Sarah was angry with Briana for not saying anything in her or even their defense. She was just taking in all in. Letting Angel yell at them for something that was mostly her fault. Angel was just as bad, he hadn't yelled at Briana yet, only at Sarah. It's not fair.

"Why don't you yell at Bri? She was there too."

"You're older."

"So what?"

"You should look after her. That's what the oldest does."

"I wouldn't know much about that. I'm an only child."

"But you lived with dozens of girls for a year, didn't you?"

"Yes. But I didn't socialize with them. I hardly spoke to them, I didn't want to."

Angel frowned in confusion. "Why not?"

"Yeah, why not?" asked Briana, speaking for the first time since entering the decrepit building.

Sarah didn't answer. She didn't want to open up and share her feelings. Feelings got you killed; emotions don't help in a fight. None except hate.

"Why not?" repeated Angel.

"It's none of your business."

"Why'da bring it up then?" asked Briana.

"Shut up." Sarah snapped at the younger girl. Briana looked hurt for a second and then resumed her passive glare.

"Fine. You don't want to talk to me or Bri, who will you talk to?"

"No one."

Angel took that in with a nod. "Tell me how that works out for you."

Sarah let out a breath of annoyance.

"Can we take the Morris' now?"

"No, it was a mistake asking you to come with me. You'll go back to the Hotel, right now and right there. No stopping to play hero. You go straight home."

It's not my home. "Fine." Sarah walked out of the room and down the small set of stairs. She could hear Briana coming after her.

"You can be a bitch sometimes, you know that." Briana said stepping into place beside Sarah. "Angel only wants to protect us. He's a good guy and you keep being a bitch to him. He's nice and-"

"You like him."

"No, I don't."

"Sure you do. Oh, Briana," Sarah said pointedly. "Poor, little, young and impressionable Briana."

"Don't call me that."

"It's your name, isn't it?"

"Yes, but I don't like you calling me Briana."

"Why not?"

"No reason."

"It seems I'm not the only keeping secrets."

"Oh, shut up!"

---

"I'll take them, Miss," said the chauffeur; Sarah let him pull the suitcases down the stairs towards the car. She opened the backseat door and slid into the car. "Don't you want to say goodbye, Miss?"

"No."

He didn't respond. Instead he opened the trunk and lifted the suitcases in one at a time. Sarah waited patiently while he started up the car, as it pulled out of the driveway and onto the secluded road, she felt a huge weight lift from her shoulders.

Maybe it'll get better, being a Slayer can't all be bad. Right?

She wouldn't miss her mother or stepfather. But she would miss Lillianne and her friends. Mostly Andrew. How was she going to explain this to them? Her friends knew nothing of demons and Slayers. Only what they have learnt from television and movies. Only some actually got it right.

She couldn't tell them, she was going to concoct an elaborate lie to keep them from knowing the truth. Isn't that what lies do, keep the truth from you?

With one last look, Sarah said goodbye to her old life.

---

"How come you're back?" asked Connor as Sarah and Briana entered the lobby of the Hyperion.

"Angel sent us back," Briana answered, Sarah was glad she wouldn't have to explain it. Briana began telling Connor the story, so Sarah took that as an opportunity to have some time to herself.

She ascended the stairs and walked to her room. She liked the room very much. It didn't have much furniture. Faith had said something about being Spartan. Sarah knew what it meant, but couldn't figure out why Faith laughed after saying it.

She fell forward onto her bed; she bounced until the momentum stopped. She rolled onto her back and starred at the ceiling. The ceiling reminded her of the ones in Rome where she spent a year underneath; training to kill demons, learning to defend herself and others, learning to attack…learning to become a Slayer.

She was Slayer, not the only one. No one is the only one. But it still made her special and different. Maybe it wasn't something she did better than anyone else; it didn't bother her that there were others. In fact it made her feel safer and less relied upon. The responsibility of saving the world didn't rest solely on her shoulders. Many could carry the burden. It made her feel less alone.

Knock knock.

"Come in," Sarah was surprised when Connor walked into the room.

"Bri gave me the quick version. The kid can talk really fast."

"I've noticed."

"Yes, you would have." Connor walked to Sarah's bed. "You've known her a long time."

"A year's not that long."

"It is for some people."

"What do you want? I don't think you came to chat about Bri. You could have talked to Bri about that."

"I wanted to see how you were."

"Oh, really."

"Yeah. You've been distant lately."

"Define lately."

"Since Jade's little brother died."

"Wrong answer. I've been distant since the day I found out I was a Slayer. Jade's brother has nothing to do with it."

"Okay, if you say so."

"I just did. Could you leave me alone now?"

"Sure. I'm just down the hall if you want to talk."

Sarah's eyes filled with tears. Connor left without saying another word. As the door closed Sarah's tears poured down her face.

---

"Hello Sarah."

"Hello, Mister Giles. It's wonderful to see you again," Sarah smiled at the Watcher. It was good to see him again.

"Did you have a nice flight?"

"It was fine." She shrugged. "What happens now?"

"Right to business then? I was hoping we could talk-"

"Like we used to." Sarah finished. Giles nodded. "I don't think so. Maybe some other time. I want to know what's going to happen to me now that I'm a Slayer."

"Of course." Giles gestured to the chair in front of his desk. Sarah sat down and crossed her legs at the ankles. Just like I was taught. "Would you like some tea?"

"No, thank you."

"No tea. You must be-"

"Very anxious to get this over with."

"I see." Giles studied her for a moment. "Is something wrong?"

"You mean besides that fact that I'm now a Slayer, a warrior who has to fight demons that want to kill her on a nightly basis. My mother hasn't been happier in possibly her entire life, I can't tell my friends why I've left the country, I never got the chance to tell my boyfriend that I love him and I have to spend God knows how long in Rome training. No, nothings wrong."

"I'm sorry this has happened to you," Giles said, not missing a beat. "I wanted the Seer to be wrong when she gave me your name. But you are a Slayer now whether you like it or not. Buffy and I have talked and decided that a Slayer would only be an active Slayer if she wishes. If you want to return to England and to your life, you may."

"No, I've already said goodbye."

---

"His name was Andrew," Sarah said as she stepped into Connor's room.

"Excuse me?" Connor looked confused, he sat up on his bed, starring at the Slayer before him. Jade wasn't in the room like she usually was when she wasn't in her own room. She had returned by herself an hour ago and was sleeping in Faith's bed. Not entirely sure why.

"My boyfriend's name was Andrew," Sarah said again. "He was…wonderful. Smart, kind and I think he loved me. I want him to have loved me. That's all I ever wanted, someone to love me. I know Lillianne loved me, but it's not the same."

"I don't understand why you're telling me this."

"Because you were right. Andrew's dead, just like Jade's little brother. I know it's different, but we both loved them. They're both gone. Taken."

"How did Andrew-?"

"Vampire."

"I'm sorry."

"I was training to become a Slayer when it happened. I was allowed to go back to England for the funeral. But I left straight after…too many questions were waiting for me when I got back."

"When did he die?"

"September 25th. I think I will remember that day forever."

"I'm sorry," he said again. Connor got up from his bed and walked to Sarah. She took a step back.

"No hugs. I'm not the hugging type." That was a lie she loved hugs. "No one else knows, not even Bri. Everyone at Slayer Training thought I was celebrating my stepfather's birthday. You can't tell anyone."

"Why not?"

Sarah just stared at him. Connor nodded. It wasn't his place to tell the others about her past, it was her place and she would tell them when she was ready.

"I won't tell anyone."

"Thank you." Sarah turned to leave, but Connor called her name and she turned back to face him.

"Why did you tell me?"

"Because I'm ready to say goodbye." Sarah smiled sadly and left the room without saying another word.

---

"…And here is your room." Giles stopped in front of the door to Sarah's left. The building was very large; Giles said it could house two hundred people. She didn't like the idea of sharing, as she never had to do it before. Perks of being an only child.

Sarah went into the room first and was disheartened to see that two other people would be sharing the room with her. One of those girls was sitting on her bed.

"Hi, I'm Holly."

"Hello, I'm-"

"Oh, a Brit. We have a lot of those, you'll fit in."

Holly looked only a year or two younger than Sarah. She was American, had long, straight light brown hair, was tall and wore jeans and a blue jumper. She seemed nice enough. Well, except for the bracing 'we have a lot of Brits' comment. I wonder what the other roommate will be like.

"Hello, Holly."

"Hi, Giles. When's the other one getting here?"

"Not sure. As of yet, no one else will be placed in this room. We still have some girls to round up."

"Great, now we're Slayers and cattle."

Sarah smiled in spite of her mood. Holly seemed pleased with herself for making the older Slayer smile.

"I'll leave you two to get better acquainted," said Giles as he left the room. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask."

"Good day, Giles," Sarah said, Giles nodded and closed the door behind him.

"So, how old are you?" asked Holly as soon as the door clicked shut. Sarah sighed, this is going to be hell.

---

"Hi ladies," greeted Faith, as she entered the Hyperion lobby. "And gentlemen." She continued after seeing Angel and Connor. Spike walked in behind, he was smoking.

"Hi, guys. Where's Gunn?" asked Angel, worry already evident on his face. Sarah moved her head hoping to see Gunn come in the lobby also. But she didn't.

"He said he had something he needed to do. Not sure what it is," answered Spike, taking a puff of his smoke.

"Did you ask?" Connor

"I asked, he said not to worry," Faith shrugged, she descended the small flight of steps. "Maybe it has nothing to do with anything."

"That makes a lot of sense," commented Angel, still looking worried. "I'm going to look for him."

"Dad," Connor started to respond. Angel held up his hand.

"No, I'm going. It's dangerous out there."

"Well, have fun," Connor said. "You know, burning into ash. It's only an hour away from sunrise. Do you really want to look for him?"

"Oh. Right." Angel thought for a moment. "Okay, you and the girls can go."

"What?" Bri yelled. "No way, I'm going to sleep. I haven't slept since last night. I'm not going." Briana left the round lounge and stormed upstairs.

"Bloody hell. What's up with her?"

"Spike, be quiet."

"You shut up first and then I'll think about it," Spike shot back at Angel. "Don't worry, about lawyer boy-"

"None of us are lawyers anymore, Spike. Actually, Gunn was the only one…so…" Angel sighed. "Since Bri's not going. Connor, get Jade-"

"Her brother just died!" yelled Faith, amazed that Angel was acting the way he was. "I won't let you make her go. She needs to be alone."

"And we need to find Gunn. I'm not going to let him get killed."

"You're not, damn it!" Faith walked up to Angel. "I don't know what your problem is, but Gunn can take care of himself."

"I'm not losing anyone else."

Faith deflated a bit, "I know you've lost a lot. But sending the girls out to find Gunn isn't the way."

"Where's Gunn?" asked Jade, appearing suddenly at the top of the stairs. The small fifteen year old walked down the stairs. Sarah felt uneasy by her presence, it seemed that the others were as well.

"Jade, you should be resting," Faith turned her attention to Jade.

"I heard Bri. What happened?"

"Nothing. You go back and rest in my bed."

Jade shook her head, "I'm not tired. Not anymore, anyway."

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No." She shook her head again, this time with more emphasis. "Where's Gunn?"

"Doing something."

"By himself?"

"Yes," Faith said slowly. "He'll be okay-"

"I thought Luke was okay. He wasn't."

"It's not the same. Gunn can take care of himself. He knows how to fight."

"So what?" countered Jade, Faith looked mildly hurt. "Gunn could be in trouble."

"That's what I keep saying, but does anyone else listen?" huffed Angel. Sarah was surprised at his behaviour.

"Shut up, you ponce," snapped Spike.

"Stop smoking in front of the people who can get cancer," Angel walked over to Spike and pulled the smoke from his hand.

"Hey, give it back!" cried Spike, but Angel had already snuffed in underneath his heel.

"There, much better." Angel took a step back, before anyone could react Spike spun Angel to face him and punched him in the face.

Sarah sighed, rolling her eyes as the vampires began to fight.

---

Sarah Roberts was only seventeen when she became a Vampire Slayer. But her roommate was only fifteen. Can you imagine being fifteen and the world's weight on your shoulders? She couldn't imagine it. But then again, no one would have to ever again. There are hundreds of Slayers in the world now. They are born Slayers. They have a whole network of people to depend on, other Slayers to lean on.

As she watched Holly spar with a girl named Briana, Sarah was finally happy with being the Slayer. Not the Slayer. A Slayer. It's different now. No one was special anymore by default, now you have to earn. And she was willing to.

.END.