Summary: 50 stories about Kenshin and Kaoru, sometimes meandering to include the other Ruroken cast. A mix of canon and AU one-shots. Some crack can be expected. Read and Review!

Rating: T

Characters: Kaoru and Kenshin

Disclaimer: Anything you recognise here belongs to the one and only Watsuki Nobuhiro.

Broom Closet

"Sano, I asked you to toss the salad, not murder it!" Megumi snatched the bowl away from him and marched to the end of the table. Sanosuke stared after her with his mouth hanging open in surprise before following her, whining about how she never let him do anything. He would have continued to plead "Please Megitsune," if the snickers coming from the table's other two male occupants had been a little harder to hear. Megumi glared at him one last time before delicately tossing the salad once, and placing the bowl neatly near the pasta dish on the table. She then dusted her hands and swept back into the kitchen.

Kenshin dipped a spoon into the sauce and brought it to his lips. Closing his eyes, he placed the spoon on his tongue and closed his lips around it. Kaoru stood beside him, biting her lips in anticipation. Her apron was splattered with streaks of olive oil and tomato puree and she held a spatula in her hand. She turned it over in her fingers as Kenshin pulled the spoon from his mouth and frowned at it slightly. He smacked his lips together twice, as though trying to figure the taste out.

"Well," Kaoru ventured, "What do you think?" She rocked on her heels. "Do you like it? Do you hate it?" She fidgeted about nervously.

Kenshin raised his eyes to meet hers. The corner of his mouth curved up in a smile and he placed the spoon on the counter and stepped away from the pan. Curling his fingers around her wrist, he pulled her towards him and began to walk towards the door. "Come with me." Kaoru felt her eyes go wide at the heated look in his eyes.

Megumi looked up just as they were about to leave the kitchen. "Excuse me? Where do you think you're going?"

Kenshin pulled Kaoru in front of him and placed his hands on her waist. "I forgot my secret ingredient in the car."

Megumi narrowed her eyes. "Fine. But why are you taking Kaoru along?"

Kenshin smirked. "Why Megumi, you don't expect me to retrieve the secret ingredient all by myself do you? You might make Sano steal it, then where would I be?"

Megumi scoffed. "Oh please, as if I would want your secret ingredient. It's probably just beer or something. You still don't stand a chance against mine." She tossed her hair behind her shoulder and looked at him imperiously, a look of smug satisfaction gracing her face.

Kenshin shrugged. "Well, you have nothing to worry about then." He pushed Kaoru out the door.

Kaoru glanced at him. "What's going on, you haven't said a word about the sauce, was it that bad?" Her lip quivered. Kenshin smiled at her and rubbed her arm encouragingly.

He looked into the living room. "Hey Aoshi, can you keep an eye on Kenji for a minute. We forgot something in the car." Aoshi snapped his head up. His protests died on his lips as he realized Kenshin was gone. He looked at the little boy playing with trains underneath the table and sighed.

Kenshin pulled Kaoru along, answering her frantic questions by with a sly grin. Ducking into the main hallway, he looked around.

"Okay, this will do." He pulled her in and shut the down behind her. Kaoru gawked at him.

"Kenshin! What on earth are you doing?"

He curved his arms tightly around her waist and puller her closer. The glint in his eyes turned predatory as he bent his head and softly stroked the lobe of her ear with his tongue. "Just letting you know what I think about that sauce." He dug the fingers of one hand into her waist, and pulled on the strap of her dress with the other. His lips fluttered teasingly along the side of her neck and his hips pressed against hers, pinning her to the wall.

Kaoru closed her eyes and let her head fall back. "In the hall closet," she gasped as his teeth bit into her shoulder lightly, "Haven't we outgrown this, Kenshin?"

His low laughter floated over her skin and set her on fire. "Oh no, we haven't." He tugged on her zipper and ran his hands up and down her bare back. Kaoru arched into his hands, her breath lingering and catching with the subtleties of his touch.

Her lips raked over his pulse point and she snuck her hands under his skirt. "This is crazy. Anyone could open that door."

Kenshin's eyes darkened with desire as he took in her flushed appearance. "Then you're just going to have to be quiet." Kaoru moaned as his hands cupped her breasts. "We have about ten minutes before they figure out that we are nowhere near the car."

Kaoru smirked. "Ten minutes?" She laughed softly, and slid her leg up around his hip. "Think you can handle that?"

Kenshin's grin turned feral as he slipped a hand along her thigh. "Oh I can handle it." He bent his head and caught her lips in a searing kiss. Her arms curled around his neck and she pulled herself tighter along his body.

The door creaked noisily before it was yanked open by a very tall, very shocked, very horrified Sanosuke.

"AHHHHH! Blind! I'm blind!" Sanosuke's voice echoed against the walls. Kaoru yelped and whipped back, deeper into the closet, fumbling with her zipper and pulling her shoulder straps straight. Kenshin slapped his hand against his forehead and glared at Sanosuke.

One by one, the remaining occupants of the house filtered towards the source of all the noise.

"What's going on?"

"Rooster-head, can't you go a minute without making a scene?"

"Making a scene?" Sanosuke gaped at Megumi. "I'm not making a scene goddamit! Those two, those two - arghhh! I may never step into that closet again. I am scarred for life!" Sanosuke shuddered. Megumi looked past him to where Kenshin and Kaoru stood sheepishly, hands entwined and eyes on the floor.

Megumi rolled her eyes at what was fast becoming a recurring event ever since Kaoru had started taking cooking lessons with Kenshin. She ignored Sano's whining over the 'lack of shame' and 'gross depravity' and 'avaricious thrill-seeking in the midst of small children'. It had been entertaining at first but it was becoming annoying lately, not to mention the fact that each time she thought Kaoru couldn't possibly turn a deeper shade of red, she managed it. Megumi was a busy woman. She had things to do, recipe contests to hold, red-headed chefs to defeat. She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest. She would deal with Sano later.

"Honestly, you guys couldn't do any better than a broom closet?"

X

Please comment.

Well, there is no explanation for this one. This is just because! Hey, Kenshin needs to keep motivating Kaoru, right? I'm not too happy with this, but well, it's been sitting around for more than a week and I haven't had the inclination to rework this.

Okay, IMPORTANT NOTE: I may be taking a break from all things fanfiction till about June. There is half of a chapter of Dark Promises written, I will post that chapter and say Arrividerci to you lovely people for about three months. There are several reasons, first of which, my daughter is joining playschool soon, and I have to get her acclimatized to the new schedule and secondly, I have yet another exam in June. So it's back to the books for me. Thank you all for the tremendous support shown to me for all my stories.

Please don't worry. I shall come back and finish my stories.