Ch. 2: Realization
Red, puffy eyes slowly opened, and blinked away the night's restless slumber. Silently the slender blonde slipped out from under the warm embrace of her covers. She carefully stumbled towards the bathroom, so not to wake the small brunette in the bed to the right of her.
She had come to learn not to wake Selphie under any circumstance before nine otherwise there would be hell to pay. Sometimes she could be even scarier than Ifrit, and much more unforgiving.
Quistis slowly guided the door open and then cautiously shut it, so not to make a peep. She flipped the switch to the left of her, and artificial light illuminated the room.
Quistis gazed at herself in the mirror, and a frown pressed against her lips. "Wow, I look like crap." She criticized herself while brushing her hand through her long honey colored locks.
It had been another long night for Quistis as her thoughts couldn't help but wander back to another blonde. She hated herself for what she had done; leaving him in his time of need, but there was nothing she could do. She wanted to stay, she would have given her life to protect his, but she knew he didn't want that.
A rather large sigh escaped the petit blonde as she shook her head clearing her mind. She turned on the shower and the hiss of the pipes signaled the water streaming through them. She waited for an unidentifiable amount of time before getting in as thoughts clouded her mind.
The warm rain cascaded down her milky flesh and ran off her delicate legs, washing away the previous night's troubles. She enjoyed the warmth of the shower; it seemed to be the only thing that could comfort her anymore.
After cleaning her body she turned off the shower and stepped out onto the bathroom rug. Droplets of water raced down her vulnerable figure and danced upon the tile floor. She reached around the corner and grabbed a towel from the closet and gently ran it across her body, soaking up the excess moisture.
She wrapped the towel around her, just so it barely covered her voluptuous breasts and slightly ran off her back, casting what small concealment it could for the lower half of her body. She ran her brush through her long silky hair, removing unwanted knots and tangles. Satisfied with herself she pulled out her blow dryer and plugged it in.
With a roar the blower dryer turned on and began buffeting Quistis' hair. After a few moments all moisture was stricken from the young blonde's hair and she pulled it back into her patented ponytail. Slowly she emerged from the bathroom and made her way to her dresser and pulled out the necessary garments and went back into the bathroom to get dressed.
She slipped on her clothes and then brushed her teeth. Feeling rejuvenated she emerged from the bathroom once more. She heard Selphie rustling in her bed, after a few seconds of grunting Selphie sits up and wails a loud yawn.
The tiny brunette smacked her dry chapped lips together and groggily swayed back and forth in her bed. She wiped the crust from her hazel eyes and gazed around the room, only to focus on the alarm clock, which signaled it was 10:37.
Immediately she burst from the covers strewn about her and ran around the room like a chicken with its head cut off.
"Oh no, I'm late, I'm late!" The small girl yelled frantically.
Quistis just watched in amusement at the smaller female and placed her hand over her face concealing her giggles.
"Sel, Sel, calm down, you're not late, today is Saturday and there aren't any classes today." Quistis informed the younger roommate with a chuckle.
Selphie stopped abruptly and pondered the words of the taller blonde. After a few seconds the realization hit her and a look of anger swelled her features.
Quistis couldn't make out her low grumbles, but she knew that Selphie wasn't happy. The blonde just shook her head and headed to the cafeteria. On her way down Squall's voice boomed over the intercom.
"Will Quistis Trepe, Selphie Tilmitt, Irvine Kinnease report to the conference room. That will be all."
Quistis stopped her voyage to the cafeteria and instead headed towards the conference room.
"I wonder what Squall has to say? Hopefully it is a mission; I need something, anything to get my mind off…" She halted as her thoughts once again found their way back to Zell.
The rest of the walk Quistis didn't say a word, or even think about anything in particular. Moments later she made her way to the conference room, she opened the door and entered the threshold of the room.
Squall was up at the front of the room, holding a conversation with Rinoa. Quistis' eyes immediately focused on the sight of the two brunettes deep in conversation and her blood began to boil. As of late since the incident Quistis hasn't really been herself. She is much quieter and keeps to herself, even more than Squall. Also she seemed to be very distant when there were couples near her.
She hated to admit it, but a small part of her is jealous and even loathes the others for being able to be with the one they love, being able to hold them, have there lips be gently caressed by their significant other and even tell them how much they care for one other. This tore her up inside.
"Good you're all here." Squall pointed out, which snapped Quistis out of her reverie.
Quistis looked around and saw that Selphie somehow managed to make herself look remotely decent and not like the living dead. A small smile played on her lips as she took off her jacket and draped it on the chair that was placed next to the petit brunette. The blonde took her seat and awaited for what Squall had to say.
Irvine of course was seated across from Selphie and occasionally flirting and winking at her, Quistis just kept her gaze locked to the front of the room.
Squall cleared his throat and drew in everyone's attention. With all eyes on the front of the room Squall began, "Ok we just got in a new mission. It seems there have been recent robberies and attacks at the Shumi Village. Now we don't know who or what is doing this, all we know is that 7 have died so far and the thief has only stolen the most sophisticated communications technology." Squall stopped as his eyes scanned the room awaiting the response of the others.
"So you're telling me that the thief didn't even bother taking any money or jewelry or even rare spells?" Selphie questioned in disbelief.
"That seems to be the case. One more thing the Shumi village has put much of their income on rebuilding their home and lost technology, so they weren't able to pay much for this mission. This means that we are only able to send 1 SeeD. That is why I called you all here today, obviously I can't go because I have to help run the Garden, so you can decide among…"
Squall's words were cut off in mid sentence as Quistis jumped up from her seat, "I'll do it!" She exclaimed, her eyes shinning bright.
"Well if no one else has any complaints…" Squall scanned the room once more taking in to consideration the concerned look on Selphie's face. "Ok you can go, but I want you to be extremely cautious, there isn't much to go on, so if things get too dangerous you immediately call for back up ok. I don't want you rushing into anything that you can't handle." Squall stated concernedly.
Quistis smiled and nodded in conformation. She lifted her hand and gave Squall an energetic salute before exiting the room.
Selphie nervously looked behind her as Quistis exited the room. She waited a moment for Quistis to be out of ear shot, then she ripped herself up from her seat and slammed her hands on the table.
"Squall, what are you thinking?" Selphie scorned, her face reddened with anger.
"What are you talking about?" Squall asked perplexed at the question posed to him.
"Don't act so naïve, you know as well as I do, she still thinks Zell is aliiii…..well you know, coming back." Selphie stuttered on her words. "It's been a little more than three years and almost every morning she will wake up sobbing so hard it wakes me up from a dead sleep. Not to mention she has been somewhat of an outcast ever since, I mean she barely hangs out with us, and she doesn't even teach anymore. All she does is sit in her room or go on walks, alone! All I'm saying is do you really think she is emotionally and physically ready for this mission? Especially since this is her first mission since the incident with Zell, also this is a solo mission, not the best way to get her back into the swing of things." Selphie finished and drew in a much needed breath of air.
"Now I know you're concerned, we're all concerned, but if Quistis wants to do this it is her decision. If she feels ready then maybe she is, as for the Zell situation, maybe she just needs a little more time. You know as well as I do Quistis has never been one who was particularly good at dealing with certain things, maybe this mission is just what she needs." Squall tried rationalizing with the fired up brunette, but that was like trying to calm an enraged bull with a red cape.
Selphie just huffed and decided it would be best to let her temper die down a little. Irvine thought about wrapping a loving arm around his girlfriend, but thought better when he had a vision of her taking that arm and using it to hurl him into the nearby wall.
Tears willingly streamed down the delicate blonde's face as a rusty dagger ripped its way through her back.
'How could they? How could she…!' Quistis cried in her mind as she overheard the others in the conference room when she decided to go back retrieve her jacket. She walked back to her room; sobs wrenching her throat every other step. She received many strange and concerned looks on her journey back, but she didn't care, she barely noticed. She was to preoccupied with what was said just moments ago.
'They are supposed to be my friends; they are supposed to be Zell's friends! How could they say that, how could Selphie say that...Zell is gone! He can't be gone, I just know he is still alive; out there somewhere. Oh Zell, please come back, I…I can't keep going without you…' Quistis' thoughts cried out in agony, as she made her way back to her room.
She entered her small abode still sobbing lightly, and collapsed on her bed. She drew her knees to her chest and rocked herself back and forth. Her eyes were closed tightly, but tears still willingly flowed from them, she didn't have the strength anymore, for the first year or so she was able to keep her tears at bay, but as the days grew colder, lonelier and longer the young heartbroken blonde couldn't fight it anymore and ever since, her floodgates have been permanently opened.
'Friends…I don't have any friends…Zell…I…I need you…' Quistis' thoughts were interrupted as the door burst open and in entered Selphie.
"Hey Quisty, you forgot your jacket." Selphie chimed happily and smiled her unmistakable bright smile. Many considered her smile to be a smaller version of the sun.
Quistis didn't even look up, how could she, how could she possibly look into the eyes of someone who just stabbed her in the back and pretend like nothing is wrong. Quistis couldn't bear to see Selphie's face, so she just nodded her head in her knees and barely managed an audible, "Thank you."
She heard Selphie whisper something to someone, most likely Irvine and then leave. Even still Selphie was talking about Quistis behind her back and right in front of her. Quistis couldn't control herself any longer; she whipped around and slammed her fist right through her wall. Tears roared down her cheeks as the pain of her uncharacteristic actions erupted throughout her body.
She could feel the bones in her hand crunch and smash together from the force of the blow. Slowly she pulled her hand from the small whole in the wall, and gazed at it curiously. Despite the pain her hand seemed to be fine, just a little sore, her eyes focused on the whole in the wall and then unbelievably a small smile played on her quivering lips.
Even a slight chuckle escaped her as she remembered the countless times when Zell would loose his temper and always end up hitting something.
'Zell……' Once again she found her thoughts tracing back to the one she lost.
"Maybe…maybe Zell really isn't…coming back…" Her eyes shut tight as she spoke aloud trying to convince herself that it's finally over…
"It's been three years…Zell has to be... gone, I must realize…" Her words stuck in her throat as a familiar lump crawled up and occupied its familiar residence. Her radiant cerulean eyes burst open with an intense fury.
"Zell is…gone…forever!"
A/N: What is up with Quistis, has she finally realized that it is time to let go? Zell isn't coming back. Yea! Another chapter done, I really hope there are some people still reading my stories. And if anyone is please still send me reviews! And I know I still have to finish this one and the other one, What it Takes, but I totally got an awesome idea for another story! I can't what to start that one! No worries everything I start I always finish, so I will either hold off on my newest one for a while or maybe just put in the first chapter because that one is going to be EXTREMELY ANGSTY! Later...