Shadow of the Sun...
Ch.11: A Child's Decision...
Zell sighed hard, a scowl pressing against his face. "He doesn't understand…none of them understand…" Zell seethed quietly. "What am I supposed to do? "
"Maybe…just maybe I could stay if only, only for a little while…" His whispered words dripped with a silent dejection as they lingered in the stale room air.
"No…I…I'm just being selfish." Zell breathed, abruptly crushing his small hopes. "How can I rationally believe I can be like them…be normal…I can't, no I won't. This fabricated little dream of mine will only end in…" Zell trailed off, once again being consumed by his own thoughts.
"My living is also selfish…Even if I leave…there isn't a place far enough for me to go. No matter where I travel to, the lives of everyone will still be in danger." Zell sighed in frustration.
"If I go, I will hurt the one who used to mean the most to me, but if I stay…eventually I will hurt so many…more." Zell's right fist clenched as desperation raced from his heart and streamed through his body.
He shook his head, as azure eyes blinked hard, snapping the young blonde out of his little reverie. Zell rose from the cheery oak chair he resided in and made his way to the door. He figured he would be greeted by yet another blonde, who would be waiting for him on the other side, but much to his surprise the female blonde was nowhere to be seen.
Zell let out a small sigh of relief. Honestly he wasn't sure of what he should do, and being with Quistis only clouded his mind's rationale. She caused certain feelings within his soul that he was sure have been obliterated by the demon living inside him. Though the feelings still felt slightly new, they echoed a long lost love between him and Quistis.
Zell unconsciously winded his way down the halls and back to Balamb's main hall. He strolled forward, his eyes seemingly cast ahead, yet lost in his own memories. Returning to the present Zell already made his way outside, to the Garden's front gate.
Zell gazed up into the midday sky, as dark portentous clouds shifted in the distance, thriving with a testimony of an impending storm. Back at the orphanage Zell hated to see the heavens up above so dark.
Zell resumed his stroll towards the plains, while behind lucid eyes; there were visions reminiscent of the world so long ago.
The rain was a screeching torrent, banging upon the windowpanes and wailing against the stone walls. Another crack of thunder and lightening sliced through the blackened sky, twisting with the yells and shouts of children. Booming thunder cackled in the distance, causing the aged windowpanes to rattle with fear.
The ear piercing wail of a small child crashed angrily through the hollow walls of the small orphanage.
Panic erupted in the slender female as she raced to the origin of the scream. Forcefully she burst through the wooden barrier, searching frantically for the crisis.
"What?!? What's the matter??" Her voice was shaky as fear and panic restricted her throat.
"Matrwon, I'm scawred!!!" Replied the small blonde peaking out from underneath his covers.
"It's nothin' Matron, crybaby Zell is just being…" He thought for a moment, "well just being a big crybaby!" Proclaimed the other, slightly older and taller blonde boy standing atop his bed, pointing to his frightened blonde roommate.
"I am not!" Screamed Zell pulling the covers back over his head.
Edea surveyed the scene, Squall was of course in Ellone's bed, while Irvine and Selphie took shelter under the pillows and blankets of her bed, while Quistis and Seifer were both standing on top of their beds, busy informing everyone that there wasn't anything to fear.
"We're inside," she announced, her hands on her hips. "Nothing can happen in here! It's only a silly storm. Stop acting like children." Quistis spoke with a tone of maturation.
"But it's so scaaaaarrrrrrrrrrryyyyyyyyy," came the high pitched squeal of Selphie's little voice from beneath her blankets.
"There's nothing to be afraid of. Think of it as….think of it as a cold, and the storm is just a way for the sky to get rid of its cold." Edea explained her analogy of the ominous scenery outside.
"A cold?" Zell chirped hesitantly.
"That's right, and the thunder you hear is just a loud sneeze." Edea soothed happily.
"A really loud sneeze huh Matron?" Selphie quipped, from the sanctity of her covers.
"That's right." Edea replied with a nod as she peered underneath the comforter to see bright eyes gaze back at her. "Come on, time for bed."
The two small children wiggled out from underneath their covers as Edea tucked them tenderly, but not before tickling them for a few seconds. Inwardly she smiled at their tiny squeals.
She then began to make her way over to Zell's bed. "Zelly dear, it's time for bed." She called softly.
"Matrwon, does that mean the wain is weally boogers?" Zell questioned playfully.
"That's right, and if you don't want to get sick, you won't go out in the rain…right?" She raised an eyebrow, scrutinizing the young boy.
The child placed a hand on his chin and thought carefully. Long slender fingers poked at the soft flesh that padded his belly. Giggles of laughter once again filled the air.
"Quistis, Seifer, you two, into bed." She called to the last two blondes.
Both children obediently slid under their covers. Edea approached each of them as she tucked them in before kissing their foreheads.
Finally she finished the routine by walking over to Squall and Ellone. "Alright you two, sweet dreams." She pulled the fluffy pale comforters tightly around them and then pressed warm and juicy, thick crimson lips to each of the foreheads, before leaving.
Even with Zell thinking the storm is just the sky having a cold, it didn't make it any less frightening…or at least not to him. Another flash of lighting accompanied by the deafening rumble of thunder, Zell couldn't help but shriek slightly and immediately rip the covers back over his head.
He could feel his heartbeat echo throughout his body, as his breathes were short and raspy. Underneath his covers felt like an inferno, yet he was shivering uncontrollably.
Another crack of thunder twisted into the room, causing Zell to practically jump out of his skin. He couldn't take it anymore, if he didn't do something quick, he thought he was going to die from fear.
Fluffy, pointed blonde hair stealthily crept from beyond the concealment of the comforter as frightened sapphire eyes soon followed. Panicked eyes swept across the room, and then made their way to the window. Zell cringed as the sky lit up with a blinding light.
That's when he made his move. He ripped the covers off him as quickly as possible. Lightly padded feet scampered across the room, only to come to a halt half way to the door. He stopped at the second to last bed and tugged sheepishly on the covers.
A groan of grogginess leaked from atop the bed. Zell tugged just a little bit harder in hopes of waking the slumbering child. He heard a rustle of the covers and finally was face to face with another blonde.
The tiny female rubbed her eyes with her fists, allowing them to adapt to the smothering darkness. Moments pass before she realizes that she is gazing into wide sapphire eyes that shone with unshed tears.
Zell stood before the newly awakened young blonde, slightly biting on his lower lip to keep it from quivering, as his toe sheepishly poked at the wooden floor beneath him.
Quistis pulls back the covers allowing the small boy access to the sanctity of her bed. Zell shivered as the cold covers brushed his bare arms. He carefully scooted over to Quistis and put his body against her, soaking up her warmth.
Quistis smiled and wrapped the snuggling blonde up in her tiny arms.
The loud crash of thunder brought the past to an end, allowing the present to regain control once more. "I was such a child back then…" Zell reminisced of days past, a small smile playing on his lips.
In the past three years darkness was all Zell knew. Each of his missions took place in the dead of night, shadows were his only allies. His gaze returned to the sinister sky above.
"It is sick…it festers with a disease, but unlike me, it can ride itself of its pain…" Zell scowled silently, cursing his own existence.
Zell finally came to a halt at the tree line that separated the Garden from much of the outside world. Rain finally broke the cumulus barrier and crashed down to the earth so far below.
Zell felt the soft rain caress his body, desperately wishing it could wash away his sins. The sound of heavy, yet panicked breathing caught his hearing…something was approaching from behind.
His fists instinctively tightened, but something was wrong…the feeling wasn't right. Zell's fingers were curled up, yet they were pressing against wet, cold skin. He forgot to retrieve his gloves from the night stand that resided next to the infirmary bed.
Zell whipped around only to see a frantic and soggy Quistis, breathing hard and swallow. Even through the rain he could tell that crystalline tears pressed hard against her soft sapphire eyes.
"Are you…are you going to…leave?" Quistis asked shakily, averting her worried eyes.
Zell could feel his heart ache. A lump took residence in his throat, as he bore witness to the pain he was once again causing. "Quistis…I…"
"Ze…Zell are you…are you leaving me…again…" She asked silently, her last word almost inaudible.
Zell stood in hurt as he saw Quistis biting on her lower lip, with her tearful gaze fixated on the ground. Warm tears now mixed with the cool rain that streamed down her face.
"I…I don't want to hurt you." Zell swallowed thickly, as his own emotions welled up inside. "I can't bear to…to put you in danger…" Zell's words were soft, though his tone was hard. He turned away, unable to see Quistis' heart being ripped from her chest.
A warm compression enveloped his body from behind, as small hands wrapped around his waist, just as they did...when he was young.
"Zell you'll be hurting me…if you go…" Quistis sobbed gently into his back.
Zell wanted to move, wanted to break away and keep walking and never look back, but those tiny hands that were clasped around him with such desperation held him there. Slowly his hands rose, almost of their own accord and rested upon the ones that already occupied his chest.
He lowered his head, feeling Quistis press up against him even more so. The moment was too surreal, an angel that should reside in the heavens and one who should be cast to hell, trapped in the middle, trapped on earth, to forever stay.
"Quistis…I love you…"
A/N: Wow I am seriously sorry that this took me so long to post, but with finals and the holidays, damn I had not time!! It sucked!! But at least finals are over and I have some free time...YEA!!! I just hope people are still out there and who read this. but remember please review!!! Q-n-P I totally appreciate all your support, you're the best!
A King and His Knight part VII: "My liege, we must go!" Zell373 glances up at the soldier ripping him onto his horse. "NO!!! We can't just leave him out there!!!" The King screams reaching out towards his friend as tears willingly spill from his eyes. The soldier snaps the horse's reigns and takes off. "Prince Q-n-P!!! I swear I'll come back for you!!! Q-N-P!!!!" The King watches in trepidation as his only true friend willingly is risking his life for him. Zell373 gazes back once more as Q-n-P spits out the reaming blood in his mouth and charges the onslaught of warriors...Fearlessly. "Q-n-P, my Prince, my friend...what have I done?"
A/N II: Q-n-P you are most certainly the freakin' man!!! I hope you are still willingly to see this thing to the end. I appreciate all your reviews and support more than you'll ever know. It's nice to know that there is someone out there I can count on. I owe you one! Later...