SasuNaru, Yaoi, Unbeta-ed and OOC. ShikaTemari, KakaIru.
Standard Disclaimer applies.
Author's notes: guys, are you still enjoying this? Thank you for your reviews. -smiles-
Chapter 10: Are 'we' still existing?
Whether they wanted to admit or not, all Konoha villagers agreed that as volatile as Naruto and Sasuke were they were the best or the most perfect couple, with both of them loving and caring each other. They were so engrossed with the couple's glossy image that they couldn't see the real state of their marriage – dying.
- SasuNaru is love -
Sasuke never bothered to look up from his breakfast when he heard the front door slam, an announcement that his wife - no he could no longer call him that, already left for work without eating his breakfast or bidding him goodbye. Not that he minded. He used to and at that time it hurt a lot. In Naruto's absence and in his commitment to his role as the hokage, loneliness echoed within the house and within him; their togetherness that had disappeared, haunting him and the only way he knew how to deal with them was getting more missions, just so he could stay away from home. No not home, Sasuke reminded himself cruelly. It had stopped being one almost six months ago. It was just a house now.
He couldn't believe that their profession that brought them together was the reason that tore them apart. No, not profession. What tore them apart was Naruto's dream which had now become reality. He had been happy for Naruto and when the blonde became busy, Sasuke had understood but then it became a habit and before they both know it, they had fallen into a dangerous pattern of avoiding each other like plagues and treating each other politely like strangers. It was obvious that their marriage was heading towards destruction and what scared Sasuke most was that he no longer gave a damn. He looked at his golden ring which held a little bit of meaning to him.
How long, Naruto, before our circle breaks?
Naruto left the house without a backward glance, even when his stomach and his heart wanted to go back there but how could he when there was that stranger in the house, a stranger looking like his husband but not acting like him. No not all. Where did his Sasuke went to? First four months of his being rokudaime, had been busy. His days were full of meetings, paper works and dealing with matters regarding the transition of power from Tsunade to him. When everything was settled, he found Sasuke gone and the one waiting for him home was someone else. No not home, he told himself bitterly. It had stopped being one when Sasuke left without a trace and the only reason he stayed there when he wanted to transfer to an apartment was the hope that one day Sasuke would return. Until then he would bury himself with work to keep the loneliness at bay.
He looked at his ring wondering if it was still special to Sasuke just as it had back then.
How long, Sasuke, before our circle breaks into halves?
- SasuNaru is love -
When day started to shift into the night and the red-orange sunlight beamed through Naruto's office, Sasuke in his full ANBU uniform stepped inside. He bowed and it made the blonde's heart flinched.
"The mission was accomplished as planned, hokage-sama," Sasuke reported as he offered the scroll containing his report. "No one got injured as well."
Hokage… that was all he was to Sasuke. Damn bastard! And Naruto decided to play the bastard's game just to hide his pain away. "Thank you for your hard work captain."
Sasuke seethed inside. Captain! That was all he was to Naruto and man, that hurt a lot, hurt more than any attack he had received so far in his life. But he decided to continue the blonde's game.
"Would that be all?"
No! I want you to stay and look at me like you used to. I want you to tell me what happened to you, to us, he thought and he wanted to say that but his wounded pride wouldn't let him. He just dismiss him with a nod of his head which Sasuke understood perfectly well, after all that's what Naruto had been doing for quite a long time now.
He walked, half expecting the blonde to call him, to make him stay so they could talk what went wrong with them but it didn't came… it never did and Sasuke wondered how long would it take before he would stop expecting something from Naruto.
How long, Naruto?
- SasuNaru is love -
Iruka got up from his comfortable position on the couch when his doorbell rang. He wondered who dared to disturb his rest time. God knows he needed one before Kakashi would slyly make him participate in the latter's activity. He opened the door and found his 'son'.
"Naruto?" He was surprised with the surprise visit.
"Am I disturbing you?"
"No, not at all," he replied, gone was his need to rest.
Both of them settled in the kitchen as Iruka prepared a light snack for both of them. Naruto glanced around the place. Everywhere even the smallest corner screamed of affection between his two favorite teachers. Iruka was married to Kakashi for five years now and yet they had not drifted apart like how he and Sasuke were at that moment. If there was a relationship that deserved to be called the best, it should be theirs. Naruto nodded his head in silent agreement with his thoughts. Out of the blue, he decided to tell Iruka how his marriage was and probably asked him some advice.
"Ne, sensei…" he trailed, his courage disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. Watching at that expectant look on the other man's face, Naruto knew he couldn't continue. He just couldn't. Admitting to himself that his marriage was on the rocks and admitting the same thing to someone were two different things. The latter was as good as admitting that Sasuke was no longer interested in him and his pride wouldn't let anyone know that painful truth… not yet.
"I was just wondering if you could teach me that delicious blueberry pie you sent to our house two days ago."
Iruka beamed at him positively. Although he called himself as Naruto's father he could not see through the mask – of being happily married, his son had so perfected.
When had you become deaf to my cries, Sasuke?
- SasuNaru is love -
At one of the bars located at the other side of the town, sat Sasuke and Shikamaru. Both men were slowly drinking in companionable silence. They had been there for almost an hour now and none had started a conversation after they talked about their latest missions.
Sasuke arched his brow when Shikamura stood up from his chair.
"I have to go. Temari will have my head if I won't get home by seven to eat dinner with the kids. Said it would set a bad example to them," he explained lazily.
Sasuke just nodded in understanding when in fact he didn't. The glint that reflected from his ring caught his attention and he looked at the band. Slowly, his other hand moved towards it and fingers moved them a bit upward. No he didn't remove it. Ever since Naruto slid it into his slim finger, he never removed it. He looked at the pale ghost of a ring on his skin and touched it wondering if it would disappear when he and Naruto would go their separate ways or would it stay to remind him of his once wonderful dream. He replaced his ring and let his fingers continue touching them, feeling its smooth texture. Were the flames of their marriage completely extinguished now and beyond saving?
Sasuke looked up when he felt someone slipped into the seat in front of him. He was met with a lazy grin. He nodded his head to Kakashi who was bringing a bottle of sake. Kakashi looked around before he smilingly asked, "Where's your blonde?"
And if Sasuke didn't know that nobody knows the state of his marriage, he would have thought that the silver-haired jounin was mocking him. His blonde? His? Was Naruto still his? Could he still call him his? The glint from his wedding ring answered his question positively. As long as they both they still wore the ring, they still belong to each other and from what he could see, Naruto still was but for how long?
"He's probably still in the office. He usually gets home by seven," he said confidently although he didn't know where Naruto was. The dobe had stopped informing him where he was going for the day and he had no time to track him, much less asked him. What little free time he had, he spent them brooding over his dead marriage.
He looked at his former teacher wanting to tell him everything that was hidden from the public but he couldn't. Telling him would be admitting that he had lost Naruto's affection and he didn't want anyone to know. For as long as he could, he wanted to let everybody believe that his union with the hokage was still a bliss so he continued on wearing that mask that tell everybody that.
When did I stop existing in your eyes, Naruto?
- SasuNaru is love -
Their bedroom which was supposed to be filled with sounds of pleasures or small talks was now filled with rustling sounds of papers as Naruto poured his attention on his paperwork while Sasuke poured his on his scrolls. The room's atmosphere wasn't tense… it was just as dead and silent as their marriage.
Sasuke took a sideway glance at the other occupant on the room, expecting and hoping and he hated himself for that. He wanted to talk but something was stopping himself from doing so. He looked at the clock and decided to call it a night. He cleaned the area of his room before he settled on their bed. Yes, he and Naruto still share a bed, blanket… everything but their time and attention.
Naruto sighed mentally. He had waited Sasuke to approach because he was sick of doing the approaching only to be implicitly, subtly and wordlessly turned away. But much to his growing frustration, the bastard just read some scrolls before he went to bed. Worse, he didn't even invite him to their bed, much less bid him good night. Sasuke was there with him all right but at the same time never there.
When did you disappear, Sasuke? How long can I endure this?
Afraid that he might strangle his pathetic husband, he gathered his papers and left the room. He never heard the sigh that tumbled from Sasuke's lips.
The ANBU captain had waited for the blonde to join in the bed and perhaps they could start talking, he sighed some more and made sure he stayed within his territory in the bed. He growled, when did they start getting so territorial anyway?
How long can we pretend, Naruto?
So the two were miserable and would continue to be so until they would start speaking like a couple. How could they, so powerful and brave, get so scared of bringing up the topic of their marriage? They kicked the butts of Orochimaru and his lackeys and even that of Akatsuki members and could even easily kill S-rank missing-nins yet when it comes to their marital problem, they completely steered away hoping that the other would make a move first. They were miserable… they were pathetic and every moment that they spent waiting and angsting, their marriage's speed towards destruction increased.
TBC
How was it?