RIGHT so guys if you were one of the 200 people that read this chapter on the 8th April before I took it down, you'll know it was a sprawling mess with no structure because I kind of took a risk and make it super cracky with no story. So even though it (from your guys feedback) retained the laughs, it just wasn't with the structure and type of longevity that I'm hoping to write these fics with. So I present to you the new and improved Chapter 3, and hope to God it will be okay!

I also want to give a special shout-out to LunarDusk who made me realise that this chapter didn't really have too much focus, so I've split it into two parts with a focus for each - and you can expect Chapter 4 on Sunday! :D

"Everyone loves Tim, Cass," Jason drawled into the phone.

Cassandra Cain said nothing through the other side of the phone. Mostly because she didn't actually possess the capacity to speak. These conversations with her were still therapeutic to Jason though.

"Y'know I get that Tim is supposed to be cool," Jason continued, "but he isn't the type of guy I want to be hanging around with for the rest of my life in prison."

He looked at Tim in the opposite cell on the other side of the prison chasm and Tim waved enthusiastically at him when he caught Jason's attention with a high-pitched 'hi Jason!'.

Jason stuck up his middle finger.

"I just hate him Cass," he continued and turned away from Tim, "and it's pretty akward that my replacement is in the cell opposite from me and I can always see him."

There was a cough from the other side of the phone, and then complete silence.

"Would you be judging me like that if I told you I have a plan for getting out? And it doesn't involve Tim Drake? I just need to tell Dick my plan and convince him that we don't need my replacement. If I talk him through it, I think I can bring him around."

Silence. It sounded like she was eating crisps from the other side of the phone actually.

"Cassie you could just give me your input every now and again I'm sure it wouldn't fucking kill you." Jason rubbed his eyes. "Look I'm sorry Cass I know you're a mute, it's just Drake - he makes me cranky. Look, just have a getaway vehicle ready for when we get out and I'll talk to Dick. Thanks."

At that, Cassie put the phone down from the other side.

Jason lobbed the phone back to the supporting officer and then swerved around. "Alright Dick listen up I have a plan." He perched onto the cell floor with the shiv in his hand and Dick was sitting cross-legged adjacent from him. "Now we're going to ... what are you looking at?"

"Huh?" Dick was snapped from where he was looking like a wide-eyed puppy. "Oh sorry Jason! I was just watching Tim." He smiled. "He's made real good friends with his new cellmate."

"What?" Jason whipped around and peered at Tim with narrowed eyes. "Wait, you mean he's made friends with Paul the murderer?"

Sure enough, Tim was in the adjacent cell and hugging his gigantic cellmate who was sobbing into Tim's shoulder.

Jason's jaw was practically on the floor. "How did he make friends with Paul the murderer?"

Dick furrowed his brows. "Hey why do they call him Paul the murderer, Jaybird?"

Jason looked at him blankly. "Because he murders people, Dick."

"Oh." Dick swallowed.

Tim was on his tip-toes to reach around the big man's neck and Paul the murderer was squeezing Tim tight. Tim's eyes were closed peacefully as he stroked the large man's back.

What the hell? Paul the murderer didn't hug people. In fact, never in his entire life had he been known to do anything but murder people.

Dick smiled. "Tim's cool. He can read situations and he's cool. He knows what he's doing. I think this whole thing goes to show that everybody loves Tim."

Jason ground his teeth with an audible sound. "Alright, fine everyone likes Tim. Let's just stop talking about Tim for a second and get back to how we're getting out of here."

Dick frowned. "But why can't we get Tim in on it as well?"

"Look, Tim is ... he's just …" He replaced me with Bruce not even a year after I died? "Tim can't come with us, okay? I'm happy for you to come with me but Tim can't."

Dick looked so genuinely heart-broken that it hurt. When he next talked, he sounded like a kid trying to get into a theme park. "But come on! Tim has a plan to get out! He has a route memorised and I really think you should just give him a chance because …"

Jason clasped Dick's lips together with his fingers. "Stop … stop with the flapping of your lips."

Dick's eyes were wide and he grunted through clamped lips.

"Look just hear out my plan first, please Dick! Then decide if we need Tim or not."

Dick mumbled through clamped lips. "Mmkay daybith ..."

"Oh my bad." Jason let go of Dick's lips and shook off the saliva.

Dick frowned and sniffed. "Okay Jaybird, we'll try your way ..."

"Alright cool!" That was all the reinforcement Jason needed and he fist pumped and then took the shiv and started scratching lines into the floor. "Now watch and learn, Dick," he said with a smile.

Dick's brows furrowed. "What the … it's a map. You're drawing a map of the entire layout of the prison? How do you know where all the strategic power points are that we can use to cut power?" Dick propped down next to where Jason was drawing. "You know the guard positions too? Wow this is actually so much more prepared than I thought you would be … I mean - considering how prepared you've always been in the past … maybe we can do this without Tim …"

Jason stopped drawing and looked at Dick in confusion. "Dick, it's a cactus. It's … I'm drawing a cactus. What exactly are you looking at?"

Dick looked blankly at Jason's drawing. "So … this isn't a map?"

Jason frowned and looked at it. "Is it really that bad a drawing?"

Neither of them said anything for a while and looked at the drawing. Then Dick looked at Jason. "It's a terrible drawing."

Jason felt his cheeks flush. "Look, the quality of the drawing isn't important." To emphasise his point, Jason tapped the cactus. "This cactus is the safest place just outside of the prison because the spotlights don't hit it. If we can find a way to get there without getting shot through the ass, murdered or raped, then Cass can pick us up in a getaway vehicle."

"Huh." Dick looked at the drawing and smiled. "That's actually a really good idea, Jaybird."

Jason beamed. "Right?"

"But how do we get to the cactus from here?"

Ah. Here's where the plan stopped making sense. "I don't know." Jason scratched his chest awkwardly. "I haven't thought that far ahead yet."

Dick stared into Jason's eyes and said nothing. As if to say with his eyes areyoufuckingserious?

"Look I'm working on a plan, okay!" Jason retreated his eyes from Dick's questioning gaze. "I just need some more time Jeez just leave me be."

Dick sucked breath through his teeth as if he was in pain. "See, Tim knows the way to get out of ..."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I said Tim has a route memorised and knows exactly ... oh, that's just petty, Jason."

Jason had the shiv pressed against the base of his wrist suicidally and he put it down when Dick caught him. "Right. Sorry."

"As I was saying, Tim has the route memorised and ... Jason! Quit it!"

Jason had his duvet secured around his neck as a noose suicidally and he untangled it when Dick caught him. "Right. Sorry."

Dick sighed. "Alright look, you clearly don't want Tim to help us … and I just want you back with us in Wayne Manor … so if you can tell us a plan to get to that cactus, then we'll leave Tim here and he can break out on his own later."

Jason was smacked with the sweet light of revelation at these words. "Bellick! We can ask Bellick! Bellick will be able to tell us ways that we can get to the cactus."

Dick's brows furrowed. "Jason, he's not just gonna tell us how we can break out."

"Well we're not gonna tell him we're going to break out! We'll just coax it out of him!" Jason sprinted towards the bars. "Bellick? Bellick!"

Bellick slapped himself onto the cell bars from the side in a sexy pose.

Jason screamed and leapt away from the bars.

"Hello, Todd."

Jason looked out the cell and tried to identify where Bellick had come from. "Why were you just standing outside our cell?"

"Jesus, Todd!" Bellick adjusted the salad he had in one hand and Jason's protective visor in the other. "It's not because I'm secretly in love with you if that's what you mean!"

There was a silence and Dick and Jason exchanged another glance.

"Wait," Dick said, "why are you holding a salad, Mr Bellick?"

Bellick seemed to catch what he was doing and then he began to laugh. "Let me tell you why I'm holding this salad, my little olive-skinned fucking circus freak. I just made it for Drake."

Jason's eyes widened. "Timothy Drake?"

Bellick stepped directly in front of Jason. "Todd, let's cut this chit chat because I will let you use my body in any way you want if you so request."

"No that's not … no … what?" Jason furrowed his brows and changed the subject. "Why are you holding my protective visor?"

"This is a protective visor?" Bellick lifted it in the light. "Oh. I thought it was a bucket."

"Why … why would you be bringing Tim a bucket in the first place?"

"In case he needs to throw up because of my salad." Bellick looked at Jason blankly. "I'm not a good cook, Todd. People … people throw up when they eat my cooking."

"But it's not a bucket, Bellick! It's a protective visor!"

Bellick blinked. "Is that supposed to mean something to me?"

"No, I suppose not." Jason sighed. "Okay scratch that, why are you giving this salad to Drake?"

"Simple reason Todd." Bellick adjusted his hat with the free parts of his hand. "Tim is an incredible person with an incredible heart. He's actually revered as the new messiah of this prison."

"He's only been here twenty minutes …"

"… and so - don't be jealous Todd - so I want to get into his good books as quick as possible."

"Well it wouldn't matter if you were in his good books or not," Jason said quite morosely and clutched the bars, "he's stuck in a prison for the rest of his life."

"He still has love to give, Todd!" Bellick scooped up the salad protectively and walked towards Tim's cell. "What do you have to your name? Other than murder and a perfectly proportioned ass?"

Dick furrowed his brows. "You have a perfectly proportioned ass?" He bit his lip. Then he carefully leaned away from the bars and looked down.

"Don't look at my ass, Grayson."

"Right." Dick's eyes went up and to the ceiling. "Sorry."

Jason watched Bellick as he sauntered away. "He really made Tim a salad?"

"Yeah." Dick chuckled. "Hey, do you remember that time for my 14th birthday when you made me food?"

Jason shrugged. "That wasn't salad. That was pancakes."

"It was still food." Dick stopped smiling. "It's funny what you remember when someone's taken from you before their time."

Jason looked down. He figured Dick still thought about it but ... "The tyres … Bruce told me you used to sleep with the tyres I tried to take from the Batmobile when I first met him."

Dick nodded with a small smile. "I err … they were my pillow it's - things weren't the same without you, Jason. It was like life had …" Dick's eyes scanned left and right as he thought. "Stopped."

Jason nodded. "Thanks Dick," he said - and he was being honest, "for coming back for me today, I mean."

Dick started bouncing on the balls of his feet as he turned to Jason. "But Tim loved you even more!"

Jason turned around. "Where's my shiv …"

"Look, even Bellick likes him please just give Tim a chance! He used to watch all of your combat videos. He-he built a shrine to remember you after you died, and he still loves you even after you beat him to near-death twice!"

Jason furrowed his brows. Ah, it seemed like the only way to actually get out would be through Drake's help. Maybe if he formed an alliance just until he got out? Then at least he could dump Drake as soon as he left the prison.

It wasn't ideal … but it would work …

"Alright Dick." Jason bit his lip. "Let's get him in this cell – EH don't hug me or I will actually shiv you."

Dick frowned. "Sorry, but I can't help it! I'm so happy!"

"Shut your lips." Jason sighed and rolled his eyes. "Alright Tim!"

At hearing Jason's voice, Tim got super enthusiastic from the adjacent cell and started bouncing up and down and waving. "Hi Jason!"

"You need to get transferred to this cell. Don't let me down or I'll never talk to you again." Jason furrowed his brows and then added, "so like ... no pressure or anything."

Tim furrowed his brows. "Oh okay well I'll try my best, Jason!"

"Okay but just so we're clear, if your best isn't good enough I will never talk to you again."

Tim was grinning like a madman. "Thanks for this, Jason! I won't let you down!"

Jason rubbed his eyes. What fresh new hell was he getting into? What ... what the ... "Grayson, stop trying to look at my ass!"

Was it still too cracky? Let me know in the comments! And don't forget that I love you! Because if you ever forget, I'll kill you. Like I'm not kidding, I will - I will kill you.

Also, if you are enjoying this story, please support my other story, 'Everybody Wants to Rule the World' with a kudos! It's a more serious one, but it's all about the interplay between the four brothers (which I FRICKING love to explore) and I'd love to know your guys thoughts on it :)

I'm actually working on a new one called Vertigo which is another serious one where Tim gets a phone call that changes his life and I'm SUPER excited to bring you that one.